The maps show changes in a city in 1950 and now.

The two maps describe the changes in the city in 1950 and nowaday.
It is lear that in present ,the river residential area and the business district have been extended.In addition many facilities have been built .
In 1950, there was a airport in the bottom right hand corner .Futhermore,the bridge was built just under the middle.The residential area was surrounded a half of the business district and the river was under the business district.Besides the major road along from the west to the east ,from the northeast to the south
Nowadays, a lake emerge in the bottom left hand corner.In additon ,the another bridge has been constructed in the bottom right hand side ,a dam have been built in the southeastern corner at the intersection of residential and the river.The river,business district and residential area have been extended .The residential in the present have been surrounded the business district .Untimately, another road has been built from the southwest to the south then connected to the another road in the east.

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Errors and Improvements:

"nowaday" -> "present day"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is informal. "Present day" is a more formal and precise term to describe the current time period.
"lear" -> "clear"
Explanation: "Lear" is a misspelling. "Clear" is the correct term to indicate something easily understood or visible.
"have been extended" -> "have expanded"
Explanation: "Extended" is appropriate, but "expanded" conveys growth and development more precisely.
"In addition" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "In addition" is common but "Furthermore" adds sophistication and variety to the text.
"a airport" -> "an airport"
Explanation: Use "an" before a word that starts with a vowel sound, like "airport."
"Futhermore" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: Correct spelling; "Furthermore" provides a smoother transition between ideas.
"just under" -> "slightly below"
Explanation: "Just under" is somewhat colloquial; "slightly below" maintains formality.
"surrounded a half of" -> "encompassed roughly half of"
Explanation: "Surrounded a half of" is awkward. "Encompassed roughly half of" is clearer and more formal.
"Besides" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Besides" is less formal; "Moreover" adds sophistication.
"along from" -> "from"
Explanation: "Along from" is redundant; "from" is sufficient to indicate direction.
"emerge" -> "emerged"
Explanation: Use the past tense "emerged" for consistency with the timeline.
"the another bridge" -> "another bridge"
Explanation: "The another bridge" is grammatically incorrect; "another bridge" is sufficient.
"In additon" -> "Additionally,"
Explanation: Correct spelling; "Additionally," is a more formal transition phrase.
"have been built" -> "has been built"
Explanation: "A dam" is singular, so "has been built" agrees with the subject.
"Untimately" -> "Ultimately,"
Explanation: Correct spelling; "Ultimately," is a more formal transition word.
"connected to the another road" -> "connected to another road"
Explanation: "The another road" is grammatically incorrect; "to another road" is correct and concise.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task by describing changes in the city from 1950 to the present. The overview is somewhat clear, mentioning extensions of the river, residential area, and business district, as well as the construction of new facilities like a lake, bridge, and dam. Key features are presented, albeit with some inaccuracies and lack of detail. However, there’s a tendency to focus on details rather than providing a clear overview, and the organization of information could be improved for better coherence.

How to improve:

Provide a clearer overview of the main changes without delving into unnecessary details.
Ensure accuracy and relevance of details presented.
Organize information logically to enhance coherence and readability.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization with a basic attempt at coherence and cohesion. There is a vague attempt at describing the changes in the city from 1950 to now, with some use of cohesive devices like "in addition," "furthermore," and "besides." However, the progression of ideas lacks clarity and coherence due to awkward phrasing and unclear relationships between sentences. The essay lacks overall progression as it jumps between different aspects without a clear structure. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent and does not effectively separate different ideas or topics.

How to improve:

Organization and Structure: Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas. Start with a clear introduction that outlines what the maps depict and how they have changed over time. Then, systematically describe each aspect (e.g., residential area, business district, infrastructure) in a coherent manner.
Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay. Focus on using them correctly and sparingly to avoid repetition or overuse.
Paragraphing: Divide the essay into paragraphs logically. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect or time period (1950 vs. now) to help the reader follow the changes more easily.
Clarity and Precision: Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity. Ensure that each sentence contributes clearly to the overall message and avoids ambiguous or unclear statements.

By addressing these points, the coherence and cohesion of the essay can be significantly improved, leading to a clearer and more structured presentation of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are notable deficiencies that affect clarity and precision. While the essay attempts to describe changes in the city, it lacks sophistication in lexical choice and expression. There are frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, which hinder communication. Repetitive and inappropriate vocabulary use is also evident, contributing to a lack of variety and nuance in expression.

How to improve:

Expand Vocabulary: Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely and effectively. Utilize synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition.
Accuracy: Pay attention to accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Proofreading and editing can help identify and correct errors.
Clarity: Ensure clarity in expression by structuring sentences logically and providing sufficient detail to support the main points.
Grammar and Syntax: Address issues with sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to enhance readability and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at utilizing a variety of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex forms. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay that impede clarity and precision. The use of punctuation is inconsistent, which affects the flow and readability of the text. Complex sentences are attempted but often lack accuracy, causing some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structure variety while ensuring accuracy in grammar and punctuation. Practice constructing complex sentences with precision and clarity. Pay close attention to punctuation rules to maintain coherence and readability. Additionally, thorough proofreading and editing can help identify and correct errors to achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate changes in a city between 1950 and the present day.

In the present, noticeable extensions are observed in the river residential area and the business district. Furthermore, numerous facilities have been established.

In 1950, an airport was situated in the bottom right-hand corner, with a bridge constructed just below the center. The residential area encompassed approximately half of the business district, while the river flowed beneath the business district. Additionally, a major road traversed from the west to the east and another from the northeast to the south.

Presently, a lake has emerged in the bottom left-hand corner. Furthermore, another bridge has been erected in the bottom right-hand side, and a dam has been constructed in the southeastern corner at the junction of the residential and river areas. Notably, extensions are observed in the river, business district, and residential area. The present residential zone surrounds the business district. Ultimately, another road has been constructed from the southwest to the south, connecting to another road in the east.