The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that governments should reallocate the funds that are being used to subsidise space flight programmes to essential public services. Personally, I completely agree with this opinion.

As far as I am concerned, vital public services are much more related to our daily life than space research.
In fact, most of us depend on them every day to meet basic needs such as education, healthcare, travel and safety.
For instance, schools afford students the knowledge and skills they need to start a career, and hospitals provide treatment for those who get injured or have some problems with their health.
Besides, public transport, such as buses, trains, trams and metros, carries passengers daily to and from work, and police officers regularly patrol neighbourhoods to protect civilians from criminal attack as well as to deter criminal behaviour.
Without public services, it is possible that levels of illiteracy, unemployment and crime might escalate, making life much more difficult and dangerous for most people.

At the same time, I contend that financing space exploration programmes is unnecessary at the present time for several reasons.
Firstly, scientists have yet to explore all parts of the globe, let alone the outer space.
In fact, many places on earth, such as the Bermuda Triangle and the Mariana Trench, remain virtually unexplored and unmapped; therefore, it would make more sense if governments funded scientific expeditions to these areas rather than voyages in space.
Furthermore, environmental issues facing the world today, such as climate change, air pollution and non-biodegradable waste, are having an increasing impact on human lives as well as wildlife habitats.
Under the circumstances, it would be more reasonable if governments focused spending on research into radical solutions to these problems instead of injecting money into space projects.

In conclusion, my view is that governments should reduce expenditure on space missions and allot more resources to key public services.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Personally, I completely agree" -> "I strongly concur"
Explanation: "I strongly concur" is a more formal and precise expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the more conversational "Personally, I completely agree."
"vital public services are much more related to our daily life" -> "vital public services are more integral to our daily lives"
Explanation: "More integral to our daily lives" is a more precise and formal way to express the importance of public services in daily life, avoiding the colloquial "much more related."
"schools afford students" -> "schools provide students"
Explanation: "Provide" is more accurate and formal than "afford" in this context, as it correctly conveys the idea of schools offering educational services.
"have some problems with their health" -> "experience health issues"
Explanation: "Experience health issues" is a more precise and formal way to describe health problems, avoiding the vague "have some problems."
"public transport, such as buses, trains, trams and metros" -> "public transportation modes such as buses, trains, trams, and metros"
Explanation: "Public transportation modes" is a more formal and specific term than "public transport," and the use of "and" instead of "and" is more formal.
"carries passengers daily" -> "transports passengers daily"
Explanation: "Transports" is a more formal verb than "carries" in this context, fitting better in an academic essay.
"police officers regularly patrol neighbourhoods" -> "police officers regularly patrol neighborhoods"
Explanation: "Neighborhoods" is the correct American English spelling, aligning with the context of the essay.
"to protect civilians from criminal attack" -> "to safeguard civilians from criminal attacks"
Explanation: "Safeguard" is a more formal synonym for "protect," and "attacks" is plural to match the general nature of the activity.
"making life much more difficult and dangerous" -> "rendering life significantly more challenging and perilous"
Explanation: "Rendering life significantly more challenging and perilous" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the colloquial "much more difficult and dangerous."
"financing space exploration programmes" -> "funding space exploration programs"
Explanation: "Funding" is a more precise term than "financing" in this context, and "programs" is the correct American English spelling.
"have yet to explore all parts of the globe" -> "have yet to fully explore all parts of the globe"
Explanation: Adding "fully" emphasizes the extent of exploration, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"many places on earth, such as the Bermuda Triangle and the Mariana Trench" -> "numerous terrestrial locations, including the Bermuda Triangle and the Mariana Trench"
Explanation: "Numerous terrestrial locations" is more formal and precise than "many places on earth," and "including" is more appropriate than "such as" in this context.
"injecting money into space projects" -> "investing in space projects"
Explanation: "Investing" is a more formal and precise term than "injecting" in the context of financial allocation.
"radical solutions" -> "innovative solutions"
Explanation: "Innovative" is a more appropriate adjective for solutions that are new and effective, rather than "radical," which can imply extreme or drastic measures.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that aligns with the argument that funds spent on space programs should be redirected to vital public services. The introduction outlines this stance, and the body paragraphs provide supporting arguments. The writer discusses the importance of public services in daily life and presents a counter-argument against space exploration, which is relevant to the prompt’s request to evaluate the extent of agreement or disagreement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from explicitly acknowledging the potential benefits of space programs, even if the overall stance remains critical. This would provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the complexity of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently advocating for the reallocation of funds from space programs to public services. The use of phrases like "Personally, I completely agree with this opinion" establishes a strong personal stance. The conclusion reiterates this position effectively, summarizing the arguments made.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could strengthen its argument by integrating transitional phrases that reinforce the connection between points. For example, using phrases like "Moreover" or "In addition" could help guide the reader through the logical progression of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the necessity of public services and the argument against space exploration due to unexplored areas on Earth. Specific examples, like the Bermuda Triangle and environmental issues, are used to support these points effectively. However, some ideas could be further extended with additional evidence or examples to enhance their persuasive power.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer could include statistics or studies that highlight the impact of underfunded public services or the potential benefits of space exploration. This would provide a more robust foundation for the arguments made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of government spending on space programs versus public services. Each paragraph contributes to the central argument without straying into unrelated areas. The writer successfully maintains relevance to the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the writer should ensure that all examples directly relate back to the main argument. For instance, when discussing environmental issues, it could be beneficial to tie these back to how funding could be redirected to address these specific challenges, thereby reinforcing the overall argument.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the writer should consider incorporating a more balanced view of space exploration, enhancing the depth of supporting ideas, and ensuring that all examples are tightly linked to the main argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively states the writer’s position, and each subsequent paragraph builds on this foundation. The first body paragraph discusses the importance of public services in daily life, supported by relevant examples such as education and healthcare. The second body paragraph introduces counterarguments regarding space exploration, logically contrasting with the previous paragraph’s focus on public services. This structure aids in the reader’s understanding of the argument’s progression.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly signal the main idea being discussed. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases at the start of each paragraph could help guide the reader more smoothly through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which contributes to clarity. Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph addressing the necessity of public services and the second discussing the drawbacks of space exploration funding. However, the conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could be more distinct in its paragraphing to reinforce its role as a final statement.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that the conclusion is clearly marked as a separate paragraph. This can be achieved by starting the conclusion on a new line and possibly using a phrase like "In summary" or "To conclude" to signal the transition. This not only improves visual clarity but also emphasizes the importance of the concluding remarks.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "besides," "for instance," and "at the same time," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to follow the writer’s reasoning easily. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied connectors and phrases to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: The writer could incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as "furthermore," "in addition," and "conversely," to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can help reduce repetition and improve cohesion. For example, instead of repeating "public services," the writer could use "these services" or "such provisions" in subsequent references.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a strong command of coherence and cohesion principles. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "reallocate," "subsidise," "essential public services," and "environmental issues." However, the vocabulary used tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "public services" and "space programmes," which could be varied further to enhance the richness of the language. For example, instead of repeatedly using "public services," alternatives like "community services" or "public welfare" could be employed.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, when discussing "essential public services," the writer could also mention "critical infrastructure" or "social services" to diversify the vocabulary. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "astronomical research" or "socioeconomic development," could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "provide treatment for those who get injured or have some problems with their health" could be streamlined to "provide treatment for injuries and health issues," which is clearer and more concise. Additionally, the term "financing space exploration programmes" could be more effectively expressed as "funding space exploration initiatives," which is more specific and formal.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that conveys the intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by avoiding vague phrases and opting for more specific terms. For example, instead of "some problems with their health," the writer could specify "chronic illnesses" or "medical emergencies." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises that emphasize precise usage could also be beneficial.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no significant errors that impede understanding. Words like "essential," "unemployment," and "environmental" are spelled correctly, reflecting a good command of spelling conventions. However, attention should be paid to ensure that this level of accuracy is maintained throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Practicing writing exercises that focus on frequently used vocabulary in academic contexts may also contribute to improved spelling proficiency.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs adequate vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "As far as I am concerned, vital public services are much more related to our daily life than space research." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine clauses effectively. Additionally, the essay includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. The use of transitional phrases like "At the same time" and "In conclusion" also contributes to the overall coherence and flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses, such as conditional sentences ("If governments prioritize public services, then…") or participial phrases ("Having considered the implications of space funding, I believe…"). This would not only diversify the sentence structures but also add depth to the arguments presented.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with few errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, the phrase "governments should reallocate the funds that are being used" is correctly structured and maintains clarity. Punctuation is also effectively used to separate clauses and list items, as seen in "such as education, healthcare, travel and safety." However, there are minor issues, such as the lack of a comma before "and" in lists, which can lead to ambiguity in longer lists.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should pay attention to the Oxford comma in lists, which can clarify meaning. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical structures, such as the correct use of relative clauses, could help avoid any potential confusion. For instance, the sentence "hospitals provide treatment for those who get injured or have some problems with their health" could be streamlined for clarity by rephrasing it to "hospitals provide treatment for those injured or suffering health issues."

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s viewpoint. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that governments should reallocate the funds that are currently being used to subsidise space flight programmes to essential public services. Personally, I strongly concur with this opinion.

As far as I am concerned, vital public services are far more integral to our daily lives than space research. In fact, most of us depend on them every day to meet basic needs such as education, healthcare, travel, and safety. For instance, schools provide students with the knowledge and skills they need to embark on a career, and hospitals offer treatment for those who experience health issues or have medical concerns. Additionally, public transportation modes such as buses, trains, trams, and metros transport passengers daily to and from work, while police officers regularly patrol neighborhoods to safeguard civilians from criminal attacks as well as to deter criminal behaviour. Without public services, it is possible that levels of illiteracy, unemployment, and crime might escalate, rendering life significantly more challenging and perilous for most people.

At the same time, I contend that funding space exploration programmes is unnecessary at the present time for several reasons. Firstly, scientists have yet to fully explore all parts of the globe, let alone outer space. In fact, many terrestrial locations, including the Bermuda Triangle and the Mariana Trench, remain virtually unexplored and unmapped; therefore, it would make more sense if governments invested in scientific expeditions to these areas rather than voyages into space. Furthermore, environmental issues facing the world today, such as climate change, air pollution, and non-biodegradable waste, are having an increasing impact on human lives as well as wildlife habitats. Under the circumstances, it would be more reasonable if governments focused spending on research into innovative solutions to these problems instead of injecting money into space projects.

In conclusion, my view is that governments should reduce expenditure on space missions and allocate more resources to vital public services.