The pie charts below show the share of Oscar winners by film genre for 2003 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Kkk

The pie charts below show the share of Oscar winners by film genre for 2003 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Kkk

The charts illustrate the proportion of winners by genre film at the Oscar over a 5-year period, beginning in 2003.
Overall, the proportion of winners by Thriller and Horror film decreased, while the figures for the rest of the winners displayed an opposite pattern. Also, action and science fiction experienced an upward trend.
In 2003, winners by the Thriller genre accounted for the highest proportion, nearly 47% of the total winners by film genre at Oscar. The figures for the Action and Horror genres were slightly lower, at 20% and 15% respectively, and the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%.
In 2008, the percentage of the Action genre increased significantly from 20% in 2003 to 30% in 2008. In addition, Documentary, Romance, and Science fiction went up insignificantly trend. Conversely, Thriller and Horror experienced a dramatic fall of 10% and 5% respectively.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "by genre film" -> "across film genres"
    Explanation: "Across film genres" is a more concise and formal way to convey the idea of examining various types of films.

  2. "Thriller and Horror film" -> "Thriller and Horror films"
    Explanation: Plural form is needed here to match the plural nouns "Thriller" and "Horror."

  3. "the rest of the winners" -> "the remaining winners"
    Explanation: "The remaining winners" is a more precise and formal phrase to refer to the winners not previously mentioned.

  4. "experienced an upward trend" -> "exhibited an upward trajectory"
    Explanation: "Exhibited an upward trajectory" provides a more sophisticated and formal way to describe the increase.

  5. "accounted for the highest proportion" -> "comprised the largest share"
    Explanation: "Comprised the largest share" is a more formal and precise way to express the dominance of Thriller genre winners.

  6. "appropriately 5%" -> "approximately 5%"
    Explanation: "Approximately" is the correct term to indicate an estimated value.

  7. "went up insignificantly trend" -> "showed a marginal increase"
    Explanation: "Showed a marginal increase" conveys the idea of a small rise more effectively and formally than "went up insignificantly."

  8. "experienced a dramatic fall" -> "suffered a substantial decline"
    Explanation: "Suffered a substantial decline" offers a more formal and descriptive alternative to "experienced a dramatic fall."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons between 2003 and 2008. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in Oscar winners by film genre for the two years. The key features are highlighted, such as the changes in proportions for different genres over the five-year period.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide a more detailed analysis of the data presented in the charts. Additionally, ensuring accuracy in the percentages mentioned and avoiding repetition of phrases like "the figures for" would enhance clarity and fluency. Further extension of ideas beyond mere description could also elevate the response to a higher band score.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

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Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features ofBand Score: 5.0

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Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of theBand Score: 5.0

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Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pieBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data.Band Score: 6.0

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Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinctBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
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Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overviewBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes inBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview ofBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of theBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportionBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the dataBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion ofBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presentedBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of OscarBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented.Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winnersBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. TheBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners byBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essayBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre betweenBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clearBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 200Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progressionBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression fromBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 200Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing theBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres inBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008.Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 toBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, thereBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those inBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are someBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 200Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issuesBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues thatBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offeringBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affectBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisonsBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons whereBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarityBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevantBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant.Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logicalBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. HoweverBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flowBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, thereBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there areBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

TheBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faultyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacksBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overallBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, suchBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progressionBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such asBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclearBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, asBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitionsBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumpsBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions betweenBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps betweenBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentencesBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussingBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and aBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres withoutBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack ofBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without aBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistencyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clearBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency inBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connectionBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection orBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing.Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logicalBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. ForBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequenceBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For exampleBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. AdditionallyBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, thereBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "theBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instancesBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowestBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequateBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure canBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can beBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurateBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seenBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate useBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen inBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use ofBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in theBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesiveBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentageBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winnersBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leadingBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners byBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading toBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by otherBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to someBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genreBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriatelyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness inBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the textBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%"Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text.Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could beBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. ForBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarifiedBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For exampleBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified forBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for betterBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitionsBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesionBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions betweenBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

**Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs couldBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

HowBand Score**: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could beBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve:Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother toBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: ToBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhanceBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesionBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherenceBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensureBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

WhileBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure thatBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essayBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions betweenBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences areBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearerBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, itBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is notBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, andBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirelyBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistencyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logicalBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency inBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughoutBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout theBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitionsBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essayBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions betweenBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. AdditionallyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphsBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, considerBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could beBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider usingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improvedBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using moreBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved toBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more variedBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to betterBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesiveBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guideBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devicesBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices toBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the readerBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to linkBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader throughBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideasBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas moreBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the informationBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectivelyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information.Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. TheBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. ReviewBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essayBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentenceBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay alsoBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structuresBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibitsBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures forBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitiveBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity andBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies dueBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherenceBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due toBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoidingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack ofBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward orBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencingBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitutionBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution,Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. FinallyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, whichBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally,Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects theBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensureBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarityBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity andBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphingBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing isBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

**Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logicalBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

HowBand Score**: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical andBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How toBand Score**: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and followsBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How to improveBand Score**: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and follows aBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How to improve**Band Score**: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and follows a cohesiveBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How to improve:
Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and follows a cohesive structureBand Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How to improve:
ToBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and follows a cohesive structure.Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a basic organization of information, summarizing the main features of the given data. It provides an overview of the changes in the proportion of Oscar winners by film genre between 2003 and 2008. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues that affect the clarity and logical flow of the essay.

The essay lacks overall progression, as it jumps between discussing genres without a clear connection or logical sequence. Additionally, there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to some disjointedness in the text. For example, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

While the essay attempts paragraphing, it is not entirely logical, and the transitions between paragraphs could be improved to better guide the reader through the information. The essay also exhibits some repetitive tendencies due to lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall clarity and coherence.

How to improve:
To improveBand Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the main features of the pie charts. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the data presented. The essay also demonstrates a clear progression from discussing the genres in 2003 to those in 2008, offering comparisons where relevant. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear transitions between sentences and a lack of consistency in referencing. For example, the phrase "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre, appropriately 5%" could be clarified for better cohesion.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences are clearer, and maintain consistency in referencing throughout the essay. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Review sentence structures for clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward or confusing phrasing. Finally, ensure that paragraphing is logical and follows a cohesive structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay utilizes a limited range of vocabulary, covering basic terms related to film genres and numerical data. There is some attempt to vary the language, such as using synonyms for "decreased" and "increased," but it remains somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation, such as "upward trend" instead of "upward trends," and "insignificantly trend" instead of "insignificantly." Additionally, there are minor inaccuracies in collocation, such as "the lowest figure can be seen in the percentage of winners by other genre" which could be improved for clarity and precision.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, the essay writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of vocabulary, including more specific terms related to film genres and statistical analysis. They should also strive for more accurate word choice, paying attention to collocation and word formation. Proofreading for errors in spelling and grammar would help to improve overall coherence and precision in expression. Additionally, providing more detailed and nuanced descriptions rather than simple statements of fact can contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, such as "Overall, the proportion of winners by Thriller and Horror film decreased, while the figures for the rest of the winners displayed an opposite pattern." and "In 2003, winners by the Thriller genre accounted for the highest proportion, nearly 47% of the total winners by film genre at Oscar." The use of transition words like "Overall," and "Conversely" enhances coherence. The majority of sentences are error-free, with few instances of minor errors such as "horror film" missing the plural "s" and "up insignificantly trend" should be "insignificantly trending upward."

How to improve:
To reach a higher band score, aim for greater precision in expression. Ensure that all subject-verb agreements are correct, and pay close attention to word choice and phrasing to avoid awkward constructions. Additionally, maintain consistency in using plural forms where necessary to accurately convey information.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided charts delineate the distribution of Oscar award winners by film genre over a period of five years, starting from 2003. It is evident from the data that the share of awards for Thriller and Horror genres diminished over the period, whereas the figures for other categories demonstrated a contrasting trend, with Action and Science Fiction genres, in particular, showing a noticeable increase.

In the year 2003, the Thriller genre represented the largest fraction of Oscar winners by genre, constituting nearly 47% of the total awards. The Action and Horror genres followed with smaller shares of 20% and 15%, respectively. The genre with the least awards was categorized as ‘Other’, accounting for a mere 5%.

By 2008, there was a substantial rise in the proportion of awards garnered by the Action genre, escalating from 20% to 30%. Additionally, there was a modest increase in the percentages for Documentary, Romance, and Science Fiction genres. In stark contrast, both the Thriller and Horror genres witnessed a significant decrease, dropping by 10% and 5%, respectively.

This revision seeks to clarify the original content by enhancing grammatical precision, refining structure, and enriching vocabulary, while ensuring the integrity and clarity of the data presented are maintained.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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