The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010

The pie chart illustrates the places to which three countries namely Argentina, Mexico and Chile exported their products in 2010.
Overall, Mexico exported the most goods to the USA, while Chile and Argentina were more diverse in distributing destinations of products like other Latin American nations, Europe and other countries.
Mexico allocated an overwhelming proportion of goods to the USA with 62% being recorded. Meanwhile, the remaining of its merchandise was evenly distributed to Europe, other Latin American countries and the rest of the world, at 6% each.
On the contrary, Argentina and Chile shared almost identical figures for the distribution of exports. For Latin American countries, Argentina held the figure of 38% for exporting products, similar to that of Chile with 31%. Additionally, the USA recorded almost the same amount of goods sent by the two countries, with Argentina at 16%, and Chile at 18%. Similarly, the composition of products for Europe between Argentina and Chile was quite close, with Argentina exported 26% of its goods to Europe, while Chile exported 30%. Lastly, both countries sent around 20% of their exports to other regions, with 20% coming from Argentina, and 22% coming from Chile .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the places to which three countries namely Argentina, Mexico and Chile exported their products" -> "the destinations to which three countries, namely Argentina, Mexico, and Chile, exported their products"
Explanation: "Destinations" is a more precise term than "places" in this context, as it specifically refers to the locations where goods are sent. Additionally, a comma is added after "countries" for clarity, and the serial comma is included before "and" for proper punctuation.
"were more diverse in distributing destinations of products like other Latin American nations, Europe and other countries" -> "exhibited greater diversity in the distribution of product destinations, including other Latin American nations, Europe, and additional countries"
Explanation: "Exhibited greater diversity" is more formal and precise than "were more diverse." The phrase "distribution of product destinations" is clearer and more academically appropriate than "distributing destinations of products." The addition of "including" enhances clarity, and "additional countries" is more specific than "other countries."
"allocated an overwhelming proportion of goods to the USA" -> "allocated a significant proportion of goods to the USA"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more academically appropriate term than "overwhelming," which carries a more emotional connotation. This change maintains a formal tone while accurately describing the extent of exports.
"the remaining of its merchandise" -> "the remainder of its merchandise"
Explanation: "The remainder" is the correct phrase to indicate what is left over, while "the remaining" is grammatically incorrect in this context.
"the distribution of exports" -> "the export distribution"
Explanation: "Export distribution" is a more concise and academically appropriate term that conveys the same meaning with fewer words.
"held the figure of 38% for exporting products" -> "accounted for 38% of its exports"
Explanation: "Accounted for" is a more precise and formal way to express the relationship between Argentina and its exports, while "of its exports" clarifies the context.
"the same amount of goods sent by the two countries" -> "a comparable volume of goods exported by the two countries"
Explanation: "Comparable volume" is a more precise and formal expression than "the same amount," enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"the composition of products for Europe between Argentina and Chile was quite close" -> "the composition of exports to Europe from Argentina and Chile was similar"
Explanation: "Exports to Europe" is clearer and more direct than "composition of products for Europe," and "similar" is a more precise term than "quite close."
"with Argentina exported 26% of its goods" -> "with Argentina exporting 26% of its goods"
Explanation: Changing "exported" to "exporting" corrects the grammatical structure, ensuring parallelism with the rest of the sentence.
"both countries sent around 20% of their exports to other regions" -> "both countries exported approximately 20% of their goods to other regions"
Explanation: "Exported" is a more precise verb than "sent" in this context, and "approximately" is a more formal alternative to "around," enhancing the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the data, but the information is not always presented in a clear and concise way. For example, the essay states that "Mexico allocated an overwhelming proportion of goods to the USA with 62% being recorded," but it does not provide any further details about the other destinations of Mexican exports. The essay also uses a lot of repetition, such as when it states that "Argentina and Chile shared almost identical figures for the distribution of exports" and then goes on to list the specific figures for each country.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the data, including a comparison of the three countries. The essay could also be made more concise by avoiding repetition. For example, instead of stating that "Argentina and Chile shared almost identical figures for the distribution of exports," the essay could simply state that "Argentina and Chile had similar export patterns."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner with a clear overall progression. It effectively arranges the data from the pie charts and provides comparisons between the three countries. However, there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences could be improved, as some transitions feel mechanical. While the essay uses paragraphing, it does not always follow a logical structure, particularly in the way information is grouped and presented.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally, ensuring that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Additionally, improving the logical flow of paragraphs by grouping related information more effectively would help clarify the comparisons being made. Lastly, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the information supports this topic would strengthen the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with some attempts to use less common terms related to the topic. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the remaining of its merchandise" which should be "the remainder of its merchandise." Additionally, there are minor errors in spelling and punctuation, such as the inconsistent spacing before the percentage symbols and the lack of commas in longer sentences, which detracts from the overall clarity. While the essay communicates the main ideas effectively, these errors prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with more precision, ensuring that less common lexical items are used accurately. Additionally, attention should be paid to spelling and punctuation to avoid minor errors that could impede communication. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures could also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical range.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While it conveys the information clearly and the overall communication is effective, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that detract from the overall accuracy. For instance, phrases like "the remaining of its merchandise" should be corrected to "the remainder of its merchandise," and there are instances of punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary space before the comma in "with 20% coming from Argentina, and 22% coming from Chile." These errors, while not severely hindering comprehension, indicate a lack of control over grammar and punctuation.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors and ensuring that sentence structures are varied and correctly formed. Additionally, practicing the use of more complex sentence structures while maintaining clarity will help improve the overall grammatical range. Engaging in exercises that target specific grammatical rules and punctuation usage can also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The pie chart illustrates the destinations to which three countries, namely Argentina, Mexico, and Chile, exported their products in 2010. Overall, Mexico exported the largest proportion of goods to the USA, while Chile and Argentina exhibited a more diverse distribution of export destinations, including other Latin American nations, Europe, and other regions.

Mexico allocated an overwhelming 62% of its goods to the USA. Meanwhile, the remainder of its merchandise was evenly distributed among Europe, other Latin American countries, and the rest of the world, each receiving 6%.

In contrast, Argentina and Chile displayed almost identical figures for their export distributions. For Latin American countries, Argentina accounted for 38% of its exports, while Chile followed closely with 31%. Additionally, the USA received nearly the same amount of goods from both countries, with Argentina exporting 16% and Chile exporting 18%. Similarly, the distribution of exports to Europe was quite comparable, with Argentina sending 26% of its goods and Chile 30%. Lastly, both countries directed approximately 20% of their exports to other regions, with Argentina contributing 20% and Chile 22%.