The plans below show a bookstore in 2000 and the bookstore now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagrams illustrate the layout of a bookstore in the year 2000 compared to its current configuration
the maps compares the layout of a bookstore in the year 2000 and its current design
Overall , the bookstore has undergone significant modifications , with addition of several new facilities , along with some rearrangements of book sections . Additionally , several areas have remained unchanged.
In 2000 , the book store mainly focused on selling books. The fiction section occupied a large space along the left wall and top wall , while other sections , including the Cookery , Hobbies and Art section were located in the center of the map. The non-fiction section was situated along the right-hand side. There was a new books table located opposite to the entrance , with a travel section on the left-hand side and a service desk on the right-hand side of it.
Currently ,to the left of the map , the previous fiction has been narrowed in size to make way for removal of the Cookery , Hobbies and Art. Non-fiction has been relocated to smaller space on the top of the map to make room for cafe counter. A new seating area with tables and chairs has been introduced on the left-hand side of the cafe counter. The service desk , new books table and travel have remained positions , but the travel section has been doubled in size.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the maps compares" -> "the diagrams illustrate"
Explanation: "Illustrate" is the correct verb to use when describing visual representations like diagrams, whereas "compares" is incorrect in this context as it implies a comparison between two separate entities rather than describing the content of the diagrams.
"Overall, the bookstore has undergone significant modifications" -> "Overall, the bookstore has undergone significant modifications"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "Overall" corrects the punctuation error, ensuring proper sentence structure and clarity.
"with addition of several new facilities" -> "with the addition of several new facilities"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "addition" corrects the article usage, which is necessary for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"book store" -> "bookstore"
Explanation: "Bookstore" is the correct noun form, whereas "book store" is informal and less precise.
"the book store mainly focused on selling books" -> "the bookstore primarily focused on selling books"
Explanation: "Primarily" is more formal and precise than "mainly," aligning better with academic style.
"occupied a large space" -> "occupied a significant space"
Explanation: "Significant" is more precise and academically appropriate than "large," which is somewhat vague.
"There was a new books table" -> "There was a new book table"
Explanation: "Book" should be singular to match the singular noun "table."
"located opposite to the entrance" -> "located opposite the entrance"
Explanation: Removing "to" corrects the prepositional phrase, making it grammatically correct and more formal.
"to make way for removal of the Cookery, Hobbies and Art" -> "to make way for the removal of the Cookery, Hobbies, and Art"
Explanation: Adding commas and changing "removal of" to "removal" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances readability.
"has been narrowed in size" -> "has been reduced in size"
Explanation: "Reduced" is a more precise term than "narrowed," which can imply a change in width rather than size.
"make room for cafe counter" -> "make room for the cafe counter"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "cafe counter" corrects the article usage, ensuring grammatical accuracy.
"A new seating area with tables and chairs has been introduced" -> "A new seating area featuring tables and chairs has been introduced"
Explanation: "Featuring" is a more formal and precise term than "with," which is less formal and somewhat vague in this context.
"The service desk, new books table and travel have remained positions" -> "The service desk, new book table, and travel have remained in their positions"
Explanation: Adding "in their" corrects the phrase, ensuring that the items have not only remained but also retained their original positions.
"but the travel section has been doubled in size" -> "but the travel section has been expanded"
Explanation: "Expanded" is a more precise and formal term than "doubled," which can be misleading in this context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the changes to the bookstore. It identifies the main features of the bookstore in 2000 and now, and makes comparisons where relevant. However, the essay lacks some detail and clarity. For example, the essay states that the fiction section has been narrowed in size, but it does not specify how much smaller it is. Additionally, the essay does not provide any specific information about the new seating area, such as the number of tables and chairs.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes to the bookstore. For example, the essay could state that the fiction section has been reduced in size by 50%, or that the new seating area has four tables and eight chairs. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying that the travel section has been doubled in size, the essay could say that the travel section has been expanded to twice its original size.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes in the bookstore, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and occasionally inaccurate, which detracts from the clarity of comparisons being made. Additionally, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized; for instance, the introduction and overview could be more distinctly separated from the detailed descriptions of the two layouts.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a distinct purpose. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help in linking sentences and ideas more effectively. Additionally, organizing the essay into clear sections—such as an introduction, an overview, and detailed comparisons—will improve overall clarity and logical progression.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in the bookstore’s layout, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, lacking sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the maps compares" instead of "the maps compare," and "the previous fiction has been narrowed in size" which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are some spelling and grammatical errors that may cause difficulty for the reader, such as inconsistent spacing and punctuation.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items that convey precise meanings. Improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring correct word forms will also help. Utilizing synonyms and varying sentence structures can reduce repetition and enhance clarity. Finally, proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors will contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there is an attempt to use varied structures, some grammatical errors are present, such as issues with punctuation and sentence clarity. For instance, phrases like "the maps compares" and "the previous fiction has been narrowed in size" contain grammatical inaccuracies that can hinder communication. Overall, the errors do not significantly obscure meaning, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Grammar and Punctuation: Review basic grammar rules to avoid errors in subject-verb agreement and punctuation.
Sentence Variety: Continue to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, but ensure that complex structures are accurate and clear.
Clarity and Cohesion: Enhance the clarity of comparisons and descriptions by using linking words and phrases effectively. This will help in presenting information more cohesively.
Proofreading: Take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct any minor errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagrams illustrate the layout of a bookstore in the year 2000 compared to its current configuration. Overall, the bookstore has undergone significant modifications, with the addition of several new facilities, along with some rearrangements of book sections. Additionally, several areas have remained unchanged.

In 2000, the bookstore primarily focused on selling books. The fiction section occupied a large space along the left and top walls, while other sections, including Cookery, Hobbies, and Art, were located in the center of the map. The non-fiction section was situated along the right-hand side. There was a new books table located opposite the entrance, with a travel section on the left-hand side and a service desk on the right-hand side of it.

Currently, to the left of the map, the previous fiction section has been reduced in size to make way for the removal of the Cookery, Hobbies, and Art sections. The non-fiction area has been relocated to a smaller space at the top of the map to accommodate a café counter. A new seating area with tables and chairs has been introduced on the left-hand side of the café counter. The service desk, new books table, and travel section have retained their positions, but the travel section has been expanded, doubling in size.