The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture illustrates the changes to Porth Harbour between 2000 and the present day.
Overall, it is clear that over two decades, Porth Harbour has witnessed various developments aimed at boosting tourism. Noticeable improvements include a new hotel, an exclusive beach, an increase in places for boats, and more functional facilities.
With regard to the past, in 2000, there was a dock for visitors who enjoyed traveling by ferries, which was located at the north of the harbour. Beside it, on the right-hand side of the dock, there was a directional arrow that led tourists to the public beach. Opposite the dock was a castle that had been abandoned, and there was another public beach nearby. On the left-hand side of the castle, along the coast, was the lifeboat station. Moreover, to the west, there were fishing boats located right next to the parking lot. Lastly, in the northwest corner of the harbour, there was another parking lot that was linked to the main road on the left-hand side, and above the parking lot was a restroom, while on the right-hand side were the private yachts.
In terms of the present, more capacity has been constructed to increase the number of places for ferries and more slots for passengers. Meanwhile, the castle has now been replaced by a new hotel, and the public beach has been transformed into an exclusive beach for visitors staying at the hotel. Furthermore, along the coast next to the lifeboat station, some coffee houses and shops have been constructed for entertainment. Finally, the fishing boats and the private yachts have swapped places, and on the left-hand side of the private yachts, a restroom has been built above the parking lot.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The picture illustrates" -> "The image depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates" in the context of visual representations, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"boosting tourism" -> "enhancing tourism"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more formal synonym for "boosting" and is commonly used in academic and professional contexts to describe improvements or upgrades. -
"Noticeable improvements include" -> "Notable developments include"
Explanation: "Notable developments" is more specific and academically appropriate than "noticeable improvements," which is somewhat vague and informal. -
"Beside it, on the right-hand side" -> "adjacent to it, on the right"
Explanation: "Adjacent to" is a more precise and formal way to describe proximity, and "on the right" is clearer and more direct than "on the right-hand side." -
"was a dock for visitors who enjoyed traveling by ferries" -> "was a dock serving ferry passengers"
Explanation: "Serving ferry passengers" is more concise and formal, avoiding the informal phrase "who enjoyed traveling by ferries." -
"was an abandoned castle" -> "was a derelict castle"
Explanation: "Derelict" is a more precise term than "abandoned," which is somewhat vague and informal in this context. -
"to the west, there were fishing boats located right next to the parking lot" -> "to the west, fishing boats were situated adjacent to the parking lot"
Explanation: "Situated adjacent to" is more formal and precise than "located right next to," which is colloquial. -
"more slots for passengers" -> "additional berths for vessels"
Explanation: "Berths for vessels" is a more specific and formal term than "slots for passengers," which is vague and informal. -
"has been transformed into an exclusive beach" -> "has been converted into an exclusive beach"
Explanation: "Converted" is a more formal synonym for "transformed," aligning better with academic style. -
"for visitors staying at the hotel" -> "for hotel guests"
Explanation: "For hotel guests" is more concise and formal than "for visitors staying at the hotel." -
"some coffee houses and shops have been constructed" -> "several cafes and shops have been built"
Explanation: "Several" is more precise than "some," and "built" is a more formal term than "constructed" in this context. -
"the fishing boats and the private yachts have swapped places" -> "the fishing boats and private yachts have interchanged positions"
Explanation: "Interchanged positions" is a more formal and precise way to describe the change in location, avoiding the colloquial "swapped places." -
"a restroom has been built above the parking lot" -> "a restroom facility has been constructed above the parking area"
Explanation: "Facility" and "constructed" are more formal, and "parking area" is a more precise term than "parking lot."
These changes enhance the formality and precision of the language, aligning it more closely with academic and professional standards.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes to Porth Harbour between 2000 and the present day. It identifies the main features of the harbour in both periods and makes some comparisons. However, the essay does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. For example, it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or differences between the two periods. It also does not adequately highlight all the key features of the harbour.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends or differences between the two periods. For example, the essay could state that the harbour has been developed to increase tourism. It could also highlight the key features of the harbour in more detail. For example, the essay could state that the dock has been expanded to accommodate more ferries and that the castle has been replaced by a hotel. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "more capacity has been constructed," the essay could say "the dock has been expanded."
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, with the first paragraph introducing the overall changes and the subsequent paragraphs detailing the past and present features of the harbour. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances of slight overuse, particularly in the second paragraph where the phrase "on the left-hand side" is repeated. Overall, the essay maintains coherence, but there are minor lapses in the clarity of referencing, particularly in distinguishing between past and present features.
How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could vary the use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition and ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother. Additionally, clearer referencing could be employed to distinguish between features from 2000 and those from the present day, perhaps by explicitly stating "in 2000" or "now" at the beginning of relevant sentences. Improving paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the changes could also enhance clarity and progression.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "exclusive beach" and "functional facilities," but there are instances of inaccuracy and awkward phrasing, such as "more capacity has been constructed" and "the public beach has been transformed into an exclusive beach." While the meaning is generally clear, some word choices and collocations are not fully accurate, which detracts from the overall lexical resource. There are also minor errors in spelling and word formation, but they do not impede communication.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing their vocabulary range and accuracy. This can be done by incorporating more sophisticated and precise lexical items, ensuring that word choices are contextually appropriate. Additionally, practicing collocations and idiomatic expressions can help improve fluency and flexibility in language use. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors would also contribute to a more polished final product.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. The overall coherence and clarity of the essay are maintained, allowing the reader to understand the changes in Porth Harbour effectively. However, there are some instances where sentence structures could be more varied, and a few grammatical inaccuracies slightly detract from the overall quality.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the range of grammatical structures used, particularly by incorporating more complex sentences and subordinate clauses. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors and ensuring that sentences flow more smoothly would enhance clarity and coherence. Engaging more with varied vocabulary and sentence beginnings can also contribute to a more sophisticated writing style.
Bài sửa mẫu
The picture illustrates the changes to Porth Harbour between 2000 and the present day. Overall, it is clear that over two decades, Porth Harbour has witnessed various developments aimed at boosting tourism. Noticeable improvements include a new hotel, an exclusive beach, an increase in boat spaces, and enhanced facilities.
In the past, in 2000, there was a dock for visitors who enjoyed traveling by ferries, located at the north of the harbour. Beside it, on the right-hand side of the dock, there was a directional arrow that guided tourists to the public beach. Opposite the dock stood an abandoned castle, with another public beach nearby. On the left-hand side of the castle, along the coast, was the lifeboat station. Moreover, to the west, fishing boats were positioned right next to the parking lot. Lastly, in the northwest corner of the harbour, there was another parking lot linked to the main road on the left-hand side, with a restroom situated above it, while private yachts were located on the right-hand side.
In the present day, additional capacity has been constructed to accommodate more ferries and increase passenger slots. Meanwhile, the castle has been replaced by a new hotel, and the public beach has been transformed into an exclusive beach for visitors staying at the hotel. Furthermore, along the coast next to the lifeboat station, coffee houses and shops have been built for entertainment. Finally, the fishing boats and private yachts have swapped places, and to the left of the private yachts, a restroom has been constructed above the parking lot.
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