The plans below show a harbour in 2000 had how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 had how it looks today.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

CHANGE AT HARBOUR
The plans describes some changes in Porth Harbour today rather than in 2000.
Overall, now Porth harbour has more complex buildings than past.
The main features and comparisons:
Firstly, there are two ways that help to go directly to Car parks belong to the main road, instead of one way, starting form branch of main road.
Secondly, the fishing boat was replaced to Marina in the south and next to the Car park. Besides, there are two docks in the north of Harbour, so passenger ferries have had more places to come there.
Finally, there is a new Cafes and Shop which is between Marina and Lifeboat. Moreover, the cattle in the southeast of the harbour was converted into a big hotel and there is a road that connects between the road and hotel.
In conclusion, changes in Harbour consist of redevelopment, more docks, and convenient transports than in 2000.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The plans describes" -> "The plans describe"
Explanation: The verb "describe" should be in the plural form "describe" to agree with the plural noun "plans."
"now Porth harbour has more complex buildings than past" -> "now Porth Harbour has more complex buildings than in the past"
Explanation: "now" should be followed by "in the past" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"there are two ways that help to go directly to Car parks belong to the main road" -> "there are two routes that directly access the car parks adjacent to the main road"
Explanation: "ways" is vague and informal; "routes" is more precise and formal. "belong to" is awkwardly phrased; "adjacent to" is clearer and more appropriate.
"starting form branch of main road" -> "starting from a branch of the main road"
Explanation: "starting form" is a typographical error; "starting from" is the correct phrase. Also, "branch of main road" should be "branch of the main road" for grammatical correctness.
"the fishing boat was replaced to Marina" -> "the fishing boats were replaced by a marina"
Explanation: "was replaced to" is grammatically incorrect; "were replaced by a marina" corrects this and uses the plural form "boats" to match the context.
"next to the Car park" -> "adjacent to the car park"
Explanation: "next to" is informal and vague; "adjacent to" is more precise and formal.
"there are two docks in the north of Harbour" -> "there are two docks located in the northern part of the harbour"
Explanation: "in the north of Harbour" is informal and lacks precision; "located in the northern part of the harbour" provides a clearer and more formal description.
"passenger ferries have had more places to come there" -> "passenger ferries now have more docking facilities"
Explanation: "have had more places to come there" is awkward and informal; "now have more docking facilities" is clearer and more formal.
"Finally, there is a new Cafes and Shop" -> "Finally, there is a new café and shop"
Explanation: "Cafes" should be "café" for grammatical agreement with the singular "is," and "Shop" should be "shop" for consistency in form.
"between Marina and Lifeboat" -> "between the marina and the lifeboat"
Explanation: "Marina" and "Lifeboat" should be definite articles "the" for proper noun usage.
"the cattle in the southeast of the harbour was converted into a big hotel" -> "the cattle in the southeastern part of the harbour was converted into a large hotel"
Explanation: "southeast of the harbour" should be "southeastern part of the harbour" for grammatical correctness and clarity. "big" is informal; "large" is more formal.
"there is a road that connects between the road and hotel" -> "there is a road that connects the road to the hotel"
Explanation: "connects between" is awkward and unclear; "connects the road to the hotel" is grammatically correct and clearer.

These changes enhance the formality and precision of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the changes in the harbour. It identifies and highlights some key features, such as the addition of a marina and a hotel, and the expansion of the docks. However, the essay does not fully extend the description of these features, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that there are two ways to access the car park from the main road, but the plans show only one.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed descriptions of the changes and by ensuring that all information is accurate. The essay could also be more concise and focused. For example, the essay could be shortened by removing the introductory and concluding paragraphs.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While the writer attempts to highlight changes in the harbour, the ideas are not clearly linked, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, with some phrases being repetitive and lacking clarity. Additionally, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the structure does not logically separate the main features or comparisons. Overall, the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion but falls short of the requirements for higher band scores.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing ideas and ensuring a clear progression throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and avoiding repetition. Improving paragraphing by clearly separating different ideas and features will also help in presenting a more structured response. Additionally, providing clearer references and substitutions will aid in maintaining cohesion between sentences and ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe changes in Porth Harbour, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, lacking the variety and sophistication expected at higher band levels. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the fishing boat was replaced to Marina" and "Cafes and Shop," which detract from the overall clarity and precision of the message. Additionally, spelling and grammatical errors, such as "belong to the main road" and "cattle in the southeast," may cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are appropriate and precise. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy is crucial, as errors can impede communication. Engaging with more complex texts and practicing paraphrasing can also improve vocabulary control and flexibility.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. However, many of these attempts are inaccurate, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like "the fishing boat was replaced to Marina" and "there is a new Cafes and Shop" contain grammatical inaccuracies that can cause confusion for the reader. While the overall meaning is generally understandable, the errors in grammar and punctuation can hinder effective communication.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including more complex sentences that correctly use subordinate clauses.
Grammar Practice: Review and practice the correct forms of verbs and nouns, particularly in terms of subject-verb agreement and the use of articles (e.g., "a café" instead of "a Cafes").
Proofreading: After writing, take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct errors in grammar and punctuation, ensuring that sentences are clear and coherent.
Use of Connectives: Improve the use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and comparisons within the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

CHANGE AT HARBOUR

The plans describe some changes in Porth Harbour today compared to its appearance in 2000. Overall, Porth Harbour now features more complex buildings than in the past.

The main features and comparisons are as follows:

Firstly, there are two access routes leading directly to the car parks from the main road, instead of just one route starting from the branch of the main road. Secondly, the fishing boat area has been replaced by a marina in the south, adjacent to the car park. Additionally, there are now two docks in the northern part of the harbour, providing more space for passenger ferries to dock.

Finally, there is a new café and shop situated between the marina and the lifeboat station. Moreover, the cattle area in the southeast of the harbour has been converted into a large hotel, which is connected to the main road by a new access road.