The plans show a village in 2000 and now

The maps illustrate the transformation of a British village from 2000 to the present.

Overall, the village has seen significant development, with more residential areas replacing previous green spaces, while the main street has largely retained its original alignment.

In 2000, the village was bisected by a diagonal main street, with most amenities situated in the northwestern part. A small, straight path branched off from the main street, leading to a sparsely populated residential area with scattered houses, positioned to the left of a restaurant and a hotel along the main road. Opposite the restaurant, a smaller path led to an expansive farmland occupying the entire southeastern corner. Along this path, two parallel, empty buildings were located on the left-hand side, with a farm opposite. Additionally, two shops were situated in the upper right corner near the main street.

At present, while the main street remains unchanged, substantial alterations have occurred elsewhere. In the northwestern area, the straight path has been reconfigured into a curving one, now lined with more houses on both sides, while the restaurant and hotel have been vacated. The southeastern part of the village has undergone the most dramatic change, with a new roundabout constructed at the end of the path, and densely packed housing developments replacing the former farmland. On the right-hand side of this area, the two shops remain, whereas the empty buildings on the left have been converted into a pub and a shoe factory. A new oval playground has also been established to the west, with a direct entrance from the main street.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The maps illustrate" -> "The maps depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is a more precise and formal term in academic writing, suggesting a detailed representation rather than the more general "illustrate".
"significant development" -> "substantial development"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more specific and academically appropriate than "significant" in this context, implying a notable but quantifiable change.
"with more residential areas replacing previous green spaces" -> "with increased residential areas supplanting former green spaces"
Explanation: "Increased" and "supplanting" are more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the description.
"largely retained its original alignment" -> "largely maintained its original alignment"
Explanation: "Maintained" is a more precise verb for describing the continued existence and condition of something over time, fitting better in an academic context.
"a small, straight path branched off" -> "a narrow, straight path diverged"
Explanation: "Diverged" is a more precise term than "branched off" in this context, suggesting a separation or divergence rather than a branching.
"sparsely populated residential area" -> "sparsely populated residential zone"
Explanation: "Zone" is a more formal term than "area" in urban planning and architectural contexts.
"scattered houses" -> "dispersed dwellings"
Explanation: "Dispersed dwellings" is more formal and specific, emphasizing the scattered distribution of buildings.
"occupied the entire southeastern corner" -> "dominated the entire southeastern quadrant"
Explanation: "Dominated" and "quadrant" provide a more precise and formal description of the extent and shape of the farmland.
"two parallel, empty buildings" -> "two vacant, parallel structures"
Explanation: "Vacant" is more specific than "empty," and "structures" is a broader term that encompasses various types of buildings.
"substantial alterations have occurred" -> "substantial changes have taken place"
Explanation: "Changes have taken place" is a more formal and commonly used phrase in academic writing than "alterations have occurred."
"reconfigured into a curving one" -> "reconfigured into a curved path"
Explanation: "Curved path" is a more specific and descriptive term than "curving one."
"densely packed housing developments" -> "densely populated residential developments"
Explanation: "Densely populated" is more precise and appropriate for describing the level of occupation in housing areas.
"the two shops remain" -> "the two establishments remain"
Explanation: "Establishments" is a more formal term than "shops" in this context, fitting better in an academic description of commercial structures.
"converted into a pub and a shoe factory" -> "converted into a pub and a manufacturing facility"
Explanation: "Manufacturing facility" is a more formal and specific term than "shoe factory," which is too colloquial for academic writing.
"a new oval playground" -> "an oval playground"
Explanation: "An" is the correct article usage before a singular noun, and "oval playground" is a more concise and formal description.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes in the village between 2000 and the present. It highlights the key features of the village in 2000 and then describes the changes that have occurred in the present. The essay also provides some details about the changes, such as the fact that the straight path has been reconfigured into a curving one and that the farmland has been replaced by housing developments.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes. For example, the essay could mention the number of houses that have been built in the residential areas or the size of the playground. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying that the farmland has been replaced by housing developments, the essay could say that the farmland has been "developed" or "urbanized."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout the description of the village’s transformation. It presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, detailing the changes from 2000 to the present. However, while a range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened, indicating some under-use of cohesive devices. The paragraphing is generally effective, but there are moments where the logical flow could be improved, particularly in transitioning between the descriptions of the past and present.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more fluidly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next would help maintain the reader’s understanding of the overall progression. Incorporating clearer referencing and substitution techniques can also reduce redundancy and improve clarity. Finally, refining the structure of the paragraphs to ensure that all ideas are logically sequenced will contribute to a higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in describing the changes in the village. It uses less common lexical items, such as "bisected," "reconfigured," and "densely packed," showing an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "vacated" which could be better expressed as "closed" or "no longer in operation." There are also minor errors in spelling and word formation, but these do not impede communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further by incorporating more sophisticated and varied lexical items. Additionally, ensuring precise word choice and avoiding any inaccuracies in collocation will enhance the overall quality. Paying attention to spelling and word formation to eliminate any minor errors will also contribute to a stronger performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. There is good control of grammar and punctuation, although a few minor errors are present. The use of different sentence forms is evident, and the overall coherence of the writing is maintained, allowing for clear communication of ideas. However, there are instances where sentence complexity could be further enhanced, and minor inaccuracies in punctuation and grammar could be addressed to achieve a higher band score.

How to improve: To improve the score, the writer should focus on incorporating a wider range of grammatical structures, particularly more complex sentences that demonstrate flexibility. Additionally, reviewing and correcting any minor grammatical errors or punctuation issues will enhance overall accuracy. Practicing writing with varied sentence openings and structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated grammatical range.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps illustrate the transformation of a British village from 2000 to the present.

Overall, the village has undergone significant development, with more residential areas replacing previous green spaces, while the main street has largely retained its original alignment.