The plans show how a coastal land has developed into a coastal park. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The plans show how a coastal land has developed into a coastal park.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps delineate the alterations taken in coastal park which has developed into a coastal park.

In general, there have been constructions in terms of recreational facilities and open spaces in this coastal land.

Initially, to the south of the road , there has been a demolishion of fam buildings in order to make room for the construction of the car park. Similarly , the agriculture land belonging to the eastern and unused/animals area belonging to the western have both been used to make space for introductions of facilities. the former has been used to make space for the constructions of coffee shop, woods area with footpaths around and the latter has been used to make room for the formation of the lake surround by paths to walk.Lastly,in the southern of the coastal land, the cliffs have been applied with steps connecting beach with the other areas.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"taken" -> "made"
Explanation: "Taken" is not the most precise term here. "Made" is a more appropriate choice to describe the alterations carried out in the coastal park.
"which has developed into a coastal park" -> "which has been developed into a coastal park"
Explanation: Adding "been" improves the grammatical structure of the sentence, making it clearer that the park has already undergone development.
"constructions" -> "developments"
Explanation: "Constructions" could imply only physical buildings, whereas "developments" encompasses a broader range of changes, including infrastructure and amenities.
"fam buildings" -> "farm buildings"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "fam" to "farm" maintains clarity and accuracy in describing the type of buildings demolished.
"demolishion" -> "demolition"
Explanation: "Demolishion" is a misspelling of "demolition." Using the correct term enhances the professionalism of the writing.
"agriculture land" -> "agricultural land"
Explanation: "Agriculture land" should be written as "agricultural land" to correctly describe land used for farming purposes.
"unused/animals area" -> "unused/animal area"
Explanation: "Animals area" should be corrected to "animal area" for grammatical accuracy, indicating an area for animals or unused space.
"introductions of facilities" -> "installation of facilities"
Explanation: "Introductions of facilities" is unclear. "Installation of facilities" is a clearer term to describe the process of adding amenities.
"coffee shop" -> "café"
Explanation: "Café" is a more sophisticated term for a coffee shop, aligning better with the formal tone of the essay.
"woods area" -> "woodland area"
Explanation: "Woodland area" is a more specific and descriptive term for an area covered in trees, enhancing precision in the description.
"surround by" -> "surrounded by"
Explanation: "Surround by" should be corrected to "surrounded by" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"steps connecting beach with the other areas" -> "steps connecting the beach to other areas"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and adding the definite article "the" before "beach" enhances readability and grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the coastal park development. It outlines the changes made, such as demolishing buildings for a car park, utilizing agricultural and unused areas for facilities, and adding steps to connect the beach with other areas. However, there are several issues with clarity, coherence, and accuracy in language usage and description.
How to improve: To improve, ensure clearer and more accurate descriptions of the changes, use appropriate language and grammar, and provide a more cohesive overview of the development process. Additionally, pay attention to sentence structure and organization for better readability and coherence. Ensure that the information is presented in a logical and clear manner to enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation:
The essay presents some information regarding the development of a coastal park but lacks coherence and cohesion in several aspects. There are issues with sentence structure, clarity, and organization throughout the essay. While it attempts to convey the main features of the coastal park development, the presentation is disjointed and lacks clear progression. There are instances of repetitive language and unclear references, making it difficult for the reader to follow the information presented. Additionally, there are inconsistencies in the use of cohesive devices, leading to a lack of coherence within and between sentences. Paragraphing is inadequate, with ideas presented in a fragmented manner, further contributing to the lack of clarity and coherence.

How to improve:

Work on sentence structure and clarity to convey ideas more effectively.
Ensure a logical progression of ideas by organizing information in a coherent manner.
Use cohesive devices consistently and appropriately to establish clear relationships between ideas.
Avoid repetitive language and unclear references by refining language usage.
Implement proper paragraphing to group related ideas together and improve overall readability and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. There is an attempt to convey information about the development of a coastal park, but the vocabulary used is repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors throughout the essay, which may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider range of lexical items. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and word formation is crucial to enhance clarity and coherence. Proofreading the essay for errors and considering alternative word choices can also help elevate the lexical quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex forms. There are instances of complex sentences, but they tend to lack accuracy, which impacts the overall grammatical range and accuracy. Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or awkwardly constructed, such as "Initially, to the south of the road, there has been a demolition of farm buildings in order to make room for the construction of the car park." Additionally, punctuation errors and inaccuracies, such as missing commas and inconsistent capitalization, are noticeable throughout the essay.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures with greater accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and correct word usage. Practice using complex structures effectively, ensuring that they enhance clarity rather than hinder it. Work on improving punctuation accuracy, including the correct use of commas, periods, and capitalization. Revising and proofreading your writing thoroughly can help identify and correct grammatical errors, improving overall clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the transformation of a coastal area into a coastal park.

Overall, significant developments in recreational amenities and green spaces are evident in the coastal land.

Initially, to the south of the road, existing buildings were demolished to accommodate the construction of a car park. Similarly, agricultural land to the east and unused space to the west were repurposed for facilities. The former was utilized for the establishment of a coffee shop and wooded areas with surrounding footpaths, while the latter was transformed into a lake surrounded by walking paths. Additionally, in the southern part of the coastal land, steps were constructed on the cliffs to provide access from the beach to other areas.