The process below shows how a biofuel called Ethanol is produced Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

The process below shows how a biofuel called Ethanol is produced

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

The cycle demonstrates the process of producing ethanol which is a biofuel.

In general, the process consists of 8 stages and is believed to be closed.

The process starts when energy is generated from a combination of sunlight and carbon dioxide by plants. Then, it is used to nurture and cultivate flora as they grow. When the trees are fully grown, they are harvested using tractors, followed by a pre-processing session where the plants are processed through a machine, crushing them into fragments. After the machine is operated, the bits are separated into strands known as cellulose.

Moving on to the subsequent stages of the process, cellulose is submerged in chemical substances, creating sugars. This is followed by an aging stage where sugars are treated with microbes. Produced from the previous step, ethanol is generated as a product and used in various transports such as cars, trucks and planes. Finally, when vehicles are stimulated, they emit greenhouse gases which is utilized for the first stage, making this process a closed circulation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The cycle demonstrates" -> "The process illustrates"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is more precise and academically appropriate than "demonstrates" in this context, as it specifically refers to the presentation of information through a diagram or process, which aligns better with the description of a flowchart.
"a combination of sunlight and carbon dioxide" -> "photosynthesis"
Explanation: "Photosynthesis" is a scientifically accurate term that directly describes the process by which plants convert sunlight and carbon dioxide into energy, making it more precise and appropriate for an academic context.
"nurture and cultivate flora" -> "nurture and cultivate plants"
Explanation: "Flora" is a broader term that encompasses all plant life, whereas "plants" is more specific and commonly used in scientific and academic contexts to refer to cultivated organisms.
"are processed through a machine, crushing them into fragments" -> "are processed through a machine, which crushes them into fragments"
Explanation: Adding "which" clarifies the agency responsible for the action, making the sentence more direct and clear.
"After the machine is operated" -> "Following machine operation"
Explanation: "Following machine operation" is a more formal and concise way to indicate the sequence of events, enhancing the academic tone.
"bits are separated into strands known as cellulose" -> "fragments are separated into strands of cellulose"
Explanation: "Fragments" is a more precise term than "bits" in this context, and "strands of cellulose" is more scientifically accurate than "strands known as cellulose."
"Moving on to the subsequent stages" -> "Proceeding to the subsequent stages"
Explanation: "Proceeding" is a more formal transition word than "Moving on," which is slightly informal for academic writing.
"submerged in chemical substances" -> "treated with chemical substances"
Explanation: "Treated with" is a more precise and scientifically appropriate term than "submerged in," which can imply immersion rather than application.
"sugars are treated with microbes" -> "sugars are fermented by microbes"
Explanation: "Fermented by microbes" is a more accurate and specific term in the context of biochemical processes, enhancing the scientific accuracy of the description.
"Produced from the previous step, ethanol is generated as a product" -> "Ethanol is produced as a product from the previous step"
Explanation: Reordering the phrase improves the sentence structure, making it clearer and more direct, which is preferred in formal academic writing.
"used in various transports such as cars, trucks and planes" -> "used in various modes of transportation such as cars, trucks, and airplanes"
Explanation: "Modes of transportation" is a more precise and formal term than "various transports," and "airplanes" should be hyphenated as "airplanes" for grammatical correctness.
"when vehicles are stimulated" -> "when vehicles are used"
Explanation: "Used" is the correct term for the context of vehicles functioning, replacing the unclear and incorrect "stimulated."
"emitting greenhouse gases which is utilized for the first stage" -> "emitting greenhouse gases that are utilized for the first stage"
Explanation: "That" is the correct relative pronoun to use here, providing clarity and grammatical correctness, and "are utilized" is more appropriate than "is utilized" for the plural subject "greenhouse gases."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing a summary of the process of ethanol production. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main features of the process. The essay recounts details mechanically, with no clear overview. The essay also does not adequately cover all key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the role of carbon dioxide in the process.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the process, highlighting the main features of each stage. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific details about the process, such as the types of plants used, the specific chemicals used in the processing stage, and the types of microbes used in the aging stage. The essay should also include a comparison of the different stages of the process. For example, the essay could compare the harvesting stage to the processing stage, or the aging stage to the ethanol production stage.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents a coherent overview of the ethanol production process, with a clear overall progression from one stage to the next. However, while the information is arranged logically, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and the referencing could be clearer. For example, the transition from one stage to another could be more fluid, and some sentences feel disjointed. Paragraphing is present but not always utilized effectively, as the essay could benefit from clearer separation of different stages or ideas.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally. Additionally, improving the clarity of referencing (e.g., using pronouns or synonyms more effectively) would help in maintaining the flow of information. Finally, organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs for each stage of the process would improve logical progression and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary such as "nurture," "fragments," and "submerged." However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing, such as "is believed to be closed" and "utilized for the first stage." Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "stimulated" which is not the correct term in this context. These issues do not severely impede communication, but they do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary accurately and appropriately. They should also pay attention to collocations and ensure that word choices are contextually relevant. Reducing errors in spelling and word formation will further improve clarity. Practicing with more complex sentence structures and varying vocabulary usage can also help achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, effectively communicating the main features of the ethanol production process. However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, such as "which is a biofuel" (should be "which is a type of biofuel") and "when vehicles are stimulated" (which is unclear and could be better phrased). While these errors do not significantly hinder communication, they do indicate a lack of control over grammatical structures. The essay could benefit from a more varied sentence structure and improved accuracy in grammar and punctuation.
How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes will help improve clarity. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and phrases can also elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The cycle demonstrates the process of producing ethanol, which is a biofuel.

In general, the process consists of eight stages and is considered to be a closed loop.

The process begins when energy is generated from a combination of sunlight and carbon dioxide by plants. This energy is then used to nurture and cultivate flora as they grow. Once the plants are fully grown, they are harvested using tractors, followed by a pre-processing stage where the plants are processed through a machine that crushes them into fragments. After the machine operates, the bits are separated into strands known as cellulose.

Moving on to the subsequent stages of the process, cellulose is submerged in chemical substances, resulting in the creation of sugars. This is followed by an aging stage where the sugars are treated with microbes. Ethanol is produced from the previous step and is used in various modes of transport such as cars, trucks, and planes. Finally, when vehicles are in operation, they emit greenhouse gases, which are utilized for the first stage, making this process a closed circulation.