The provided maps demonstrate two separate rooms for students, one is for a single student and one is for two. Overall, the higher price room acreage is large and has complex details. Furthermore, the lower cost room has simple furniture and is smaller, compared to its counterpart. The single room is 15 square meters, with basic furniture. On the right corner of the room is a bed, which is between the study desk and the window. On the left hand side is the bathroom, next to the room entrance. In the lower left corner is the kitchen area including items such as stove, sink and microwave. In the middle of the bottom corner is a television serving entertainment. The room for two is bigger than the single one and is more expensive. The width is nearly twice as much as its counterpart at 4 meters. The furniture in the right corner is quite similar to the room for one, but retrofitted to a bookshelf. As it is larger, there is another bedroom with a study desk and a tv, separated by 2 cupboards. Table and chairs are next to the cupboard on the left hand side. In the cooking area, the interior is arranged vertically in the lower left corner of the entrance.
The provided maps demonstrate two separate rooms for students, one is for a single student and one is for two.
Overall, the higher price room acreage is large and has complex details. Furthermore, the lower cost room has simple furniture and is smaller, compared to its counterpart.
The single room is 15 square meters, with basic furniture. On the right corner of the room is a bed, which is between the study desk and the window. On the left hand side is the bathroom, next to the room entrance. In the lower left corner is the kitchen area including items such as stove, sink and microwave. In the middle of the bottom corner is a television serving entertainment.
The room for two is bigger than the single one and is more expensive. The width is nearly twice as much as its counterpart at 4 meters. The furniture in the right corner is quite similar to the room for one, but retrofitted to a bookshelf. As it is larger, there is another bedroom with a study desk and a tv, separated by 2 cupboards. Table and chairs are next to the cupboard on the left hand side. In the cooking area, the interior is arranged vertically in the lower left corner of the entrance.
The provided maps demonstrate two separate rooms for students, one is for a single student and one is for two.
Overall, the higher price room acreage is large and has complex details. Furthermore, the lower cost room has simple furniture and is smaller, compared to its counterpart.
The single room is 15 square meters, with basic furniture. On the right corner of the room is a bed, which is between the study desk and the window. On the left hand side is the bathroom, next to the room entrance. In the lower left corner is the kitchen area including items such as stove, sink and microwave. In the middle of the bottom corner is a television serving entertainment.
The room for two is bigger than the single one and is more expensive. The width is nearly twice as much as its counterpart at 4 meters. The furniture in the right corner is quite similar to the room for one, but retrofitted to a bookshelf. As it is larger, there is another bedroom with a study desk and a tv, separated by 2 cupboards. Table and chairs are next to the cupboard on the left hand side. In the cooking area, the interior is arranged vertically in the lower left corner of the entrance.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The provided maps" -> "The diagrams provided"
Explanation: "Diagrams" is a more precise term than "maps" in this context, as it specifically refers to illustrations or drawings of the rooms, enhancing the academic tone. -
"one is for a single student and one is for two" -> "one is designed for a single occupant and the other for two people"
Explanation: "Designed for a single occupant" and "for two people" are more precise and formal, avoiding the casual phrasing of "one is for a single student and one is for two." -
"higher price room acreage is large" -> "larger room size at a higher price"
Explanation: "Larger room size at a higher price" is clearer and more direct, avoiding the awkward construction "higher price room acreage." -
"has complex details" -> "features intricate details"
Explanation: "Features intricate details" is more specific and academically appropriate than "has complex details," which is vague. -
"lower cost room has simple furniture" -> "more affordable room has basic furnishings"
Explanation: "More affordable room" and "basic furnishings" are more precise and formal than "lower cost room" and "simple furniture." -
"On the right corner of the room" -> "In the right-hand corner of the room"
Explanation: "In the right-hand corner" is a more precise directional phrase, which is clearer and more formal. -
"On the left hand side" -> "On the left side"
Explanation: "On the left side" is the correct form, avoiding the informal "hand." -
"In the lower left corner is the kitchen area" -> "In the lower left corner lies the kitchen area"
Explanation: "Lies" is more formal and appropriate for describing the location of objects in a room. -
"including items such as stove, sink and microwave" -> "featuring appliances such as a stove, sink, and microwave"
Explanation: "Featuring appliances" is more specific and formal than "including items," and "a stove, sink, and microwave" should be separated by commas for correct punctuation. -
"The room for two is bigger than the single one" -> "The room designed for two occupants is larger than the one designed for a single occupant"
Explanation: "Designed for two occupants" and "designed for a single occupant" provide clearer and more formal descriptions, enhancing the academic tone. -
"The width is nearly twice as much as its counterpart" -> "The width is nearly twice that of its counterpart"
Explanation: "That of its counterpart" is grammatically correct and more formal than "as much as its counterpart." -
"retrofitted to a bookshelf" -> "upgraded to include a bookshelf"
Explanation: "Upgraded to include a bookshelf" is clearer and more formal than "retrofitted to a bookshelf," which is less commonly used in this context. -
"separated by 2 cupboards" -> "separated by two cupboards"
Explanation: "Two" should be used instead of "2" for formal writing, and "separated by" is more appropriate than "separated." -
"Table and chairs are next to the cupboard on the left hand side" -> "A table and chairs are situated adjacent to the cupboard on the left"
Explanation: "Situated adjacent to" is more formal and precise than "are next to," and "on the left" should be "on the left side" for grammatical accuracy. -
"In the cooking area, the interior is arranged vertically" -> "In the kitchen area, the interior is arranged vertically"
Explanation: "Kitchen area" is more specific than "cooking area," aligning better with the context of a room with a stove and sink.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the two rooms, highlighting the key features of each. The essay also includes some details about the furniture and layout of each room. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the width of the room for two is nearly twice as much as the room for one, but this is not accurate. The width of the room for two is 4 meters, while the width of the room for one is 6 meters.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate information about the rooms and by extending the key features in more detail. For example, the essay could discuss the different types of furniture in each room, the size of the rooms, and the layout of the rooms. The essay could also provide more specific information about the key features, such as the location of the windows, the size of the beds, and the type of kitchen appliances.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner with a clear overall progression. The writer effectively arranges the details of both rooms, allowing the reader to understand the differences and similarities between them. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where referencing could be clearer. For example, the phrases "its counterpart" and "the other bedroom" could be more explicitly defined to enhance clarity. Additionally, while the essay is divided into paragraphs, the transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow.
How to improve:
- Enhance Cohesive Devices: Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly. Instead of relying on phrases like "its counterpart," consider using specific terms or rephrasing for clarity.
- Clarify Referencing: Ensure that all references are clear and unambiguous. For instance, explicitly state which room is being referred to when using pronouns.
- Improve Paragraphing: While the essay has paragraphs, consider structuring them to enhance logical flow. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to comparing the two rooms directly rather than describing them separately.
- Use More Complex Sentences: Incorporate more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of writing proficiency, which can enhance coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "retrofitted" and "acreage," but there are instances of inaccuracy and awkward phrasing, such as "higher price room" and "the furniture in the right corner is quite similar to the room for one." There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, which affect the overall clarity of the message. While the vocabulary used does not impede communication, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with more precision. This includes selecting more appropriate terms and phrases that convey the intended meaning clearly. Additionally, practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can help to avoid repetition and improve fluency. Attention to common collocations and ensuring correct word forms will also contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While there are some accurate structures, there are also noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, phrases like "the higher price room acreage is large" could be more clearly expressed, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that may hinder clarity. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the reader to understand the overall message.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater grammatical flexibility.
- Error Reduction: Pay attention to common grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading can help identify and correct these issues.
- Punctuation: Ensure proper use of punctuation to enhance clarity and flow. For example, using commas appropriately can help separate ideas and improve readability.
- Clarity in Expression: Aim for clearer expressions of ideas, particularly in descriptions. This can involve rephrasing sentences for better coherence and precision.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided maps illustrate two separate rooms for students: one designed for a single student and the other for two students.
Overall, the more expensive room has a larger area and more complex features. In contrast, the lower-cost room is smaller and furnished simply compared to its counterpart.
The single room measures 15 square meters and contains basic furniture. In the right corner of the room, there is a bed situated between the study desk and the window. On the left-hand side is the bathroom, located next to the room entrance. In the lower left corner is the kitchen area, which includes items such as a stove, sink, and microwave. In the middle of the bottom corner, there is a television for entertainment.
The room for two is larger than the single room and is more expensive. Its width is nearly twice that of the single room, measuring 4 meters. The furniture in the right corner is quite similar to that of the single room, but it has been adapted to include a bookshelf. Additionally, there is another bedroom with a study desk and a TV, separated by two cupboards. A table and chairs are positioned next to the cupboard on the left-hand side. In the kitchen area, the layout is arranged vertically in the lower left corner near the entrance.
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