The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons and is it a positive or negative development?

In the contemporary era, research suggests that consumers are less swayed by advertising than they were in the past. This essay will examine the reasons behind this phenomenon and argue that while there are some positive aspects to this trend, it is ultimately a negative development.
One key reason for the waning influence of advertising is the explosion of information available to consumers. The Internet and social media have enabled consumers to access a vast range of information about products and services. Platforms like Amazon, Yelp, and TripAdvisor provide consumers with genuine feedback from other users, allowing them to make informed decisions without relying on traditional advertising. Another factor driving this trend is a shift in consumer values. Millennials and Generation Z, in particular, prioritize values including sustainability, ethical production, and corporate social responsibility. They are more likely to support brands that align with their values and are less swayed by traditional advertisements that do not address these concerns. This focus on values has led to a rise in conscious consumer behavior, where consumers actively seek out products and services that reflect their ethical principles.
However, the diminishing influence of advertising also presents some challenges. Small businesses with limited marketing budgets may face challenges in competing with larger companies that can afford to engage in extensive advertising campaigns. Without the traditional influence of advertising, these businesses may struggle to reach their target audience and build brand awareness. This could result in a decline in competition and innovation, potentially stifling economic growth. Furthermore, the decline in advertising revenue could have negative implications for the media industry. Traditional media outlets, such as newspapers, magazines, and television channels, depend heavily on advertising revenue to sustain their operations. A decrease in advertising spending may compel these outlets to reduce costs, potentially leading to job losses and a decrease in the quality and diversity of news and entertainment content.
In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that less influence in advertising could have some upsides, I would contend that the downsides that it offers are significantly more glaring.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the contemporary era" -> "In the current era"
Explanation: "Contemporary" is often used to imply a sense of modernity, but "current" is more straightforward and precise in academic contexts, avoiding any potential connotation of being outdated or dated.
"less swayed by advertising" -> "less influenced by advertising"
Explanation: "Swayed" can imply a more emotional or psychological influence, which may not be the intended meaning in this context. "Influenced" is more neutral and appropriate for an academic discussion about consumer behavior.
"One key reason" -> "A significant reason"
Explanation: "One key reason" is somewhat informal and vague. "A significant reason" is more formal and precise, fitting better in academic writing.
"explosion of information" -> "surge in information"
Explanation: "Explosion" is metaphorical and might be seen as overly dramatic for an academic essay. "Surge" is a more measured term that still conveys the rapid increase in information effectively.
"Platforms like Amazon, Yelp, and TripAdvisor" -> "Platforms such as Amazon, Yelp, and TripAdvisor"
Explanation: "Like" is informal and less precise in academic writing. "Such as" is the correct phrase for introducing examples in formal writing.
"allowing them to make informed decisions" -> "enabling them to make informed decisions"
Explanation: "Allowing" is somewhat passive and less direct. "Enabling" is more active and precise, emphasizing the agency of the platforms in facilitating informed decision-making.
"Millennials and Generation Z" -> "Millennials and Generation Z consumers"
Explanation: Adding "consumers" clarifies that the reference is to consumers within these generations, enhancing specificity and clarity in the context of consumer behavior.
"are more likely to support" -> "are more inclined to support"
Explanation: "Likely" is somewhat vague; "inclined" is more precise and formal, suggesting a stronger tendency or predisposition.
"are less swayed by traditional advertisements" -> "are less influenced by traditional advertisements"
Explanation: Again, "swayed" is less formal and slightly ambiguous. "Influenced" is the standard term in academic discourse for describing the impact of advertising on consumer behavior.
"conscious consumer behavior" -> "conscious consumer behavior"
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is, but it could be clarified to "conscious consumer choices" to emphasize the active decision-making aspect of consumers.
"Small businesses with limited marketing budgets" -> "Small businesses with limited marketing resources"
Explanation: "Marketing budgets" is specific to financial resources, which might not fully encompass the broader range of resources that small businesses may lack. "Marketing resources" is more inclusive and appropriate for the context.
"compete with larger companies" -> "compete against larger companies"
Explanation: "Compete with" is correct, but "compete against" is more formal and commonly used in academic writing to describe competitive situations.
"could result in a decline in competition and innovation" -> "may lead to a decline in competition and innovation"
Explanation: "Could result in" is somewhat tentative and less formal. "May lead to" is more assertive and suitable for academic arguments, implying a stronger likelihood of the outcome.
"I would contend" -> "I contend"
Explanation: "I would contend" is slightly informal and less direct. "I contend" is straightforward and assertive, fitting the tone of academic argumentation.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the decreased influence of advertising, such as the rise of information accessibility through the Internet and changing consumer values, particularly among younger generations. Additionally, it discusses the implications of this trend, arguing that while there are positive aspects, the overall development is negative. The clear structure allows the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about the changing consumer landscape. For instance, mentioning specific studies or data that illustrate the shift in consumer behavior could strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the overall trend of reduced advertising influence is negative, despite acknowledging some positive aspects. This position is consistently articulated throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, where the author reiterates their stance.
- How to improve: To reinforce the clarity of the position, the essay could benefit from a more explicit statement of the thesis in the introduction. While the argument is clear, a stronger thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed would guide the reader more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the impact of social media on consumer behavior and the ethical considerations of modern consumers. Each idea is supported with relevant explanations, making the argument persuasive. However, some points could be further extended; for example, the discussion on the challenges faced by small businesses could include specific examples of how they are adapting to these changes.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer could incorporate more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. Additionally, integrating counterarguments and addressing them could provide a more balanced view and strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently linking back to the prompt regarding the influence of advertising and its implications. The structure is logical, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument without deviating from the main topic.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt can enhance coherence. This approach would reinforce the relevance of each point made and guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates ideas, but could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer thesis statement to achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and the points to be discussed. The body paragraphs logically follow the introduction, with each paragraph focusing on a specific reason or consequence of the trend regarding advertising influence. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the availability of information and its impact on consumer behavior, while the second body paragraph shifts to the challenges faced by small businesses and the media industry. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between the paragraphs. For example, transitioning from the discussion of consumer values to the challenges faced by small businesses could benefit from a transitional sentence that highlights the connection between consumer behavior and market dynamics.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific reasons and implications, and the conclusion summarizes the argument. Each paragraph is focused and maintains a clear topic, which aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph. This will further enhance clarity and guide the reader through the argument. For example, the second body paragraph could start with a sentence that explicitly states the challenges posed by reduced advertising influence on small businesses.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "another factor," and "this could result in," which help to connect ideas and indicate relationships between them. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to understand the connections between different points.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives to "however," such as "on the other hand" or "conversely," can add variety and enhance the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, employing phrases that indicate cause and effect, such as "as a result" or "consequently," can further clarify the relationships between ideas, particularly when discussing the implications of reduced advertising influence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate the clarity and sophistication of their argument even further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "swayed," "phenomenon," "conscious consumer behavior," and "corporate social responsibility" effectively conveying complex ideas. The use of phrases such as "diminishing influence" and "rise in conscious consumer behavior" showcases the writer’s ability to employ varied vocabulary to articulate their points. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more diverse to avoid repetition, such as the repeated use of "advertising" and "consumers."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "advertising," alternatives like "marketing," "promotional strategies," or "advertisements" could be used. Additionally, varying the terms for "consumers" with words like "buyers," "shoppers," or "patrons" would enrich the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with clear meanings conveyed. Phrases like "ethical production" and "genuine feedback" are precise and relevant to the context. However, the phrase "the downsides that it offers are significantly more glaring" could be interpreted as slightly vague or informal, as "glaring" may not be the most fitting word to describe downsides in a formal context.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should consider using more formal or academic language. For instance, replacing "glaring" with "prominent" or "significant" would enhance clarity and appropriateness. Additionally, ensuring that all terms used align with the formal tone of the essay will strengthen the overall lexical resource.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "contemporary," "sustainability," and "principles" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While the spelling is correct, the writer should continue to proofread their work to maintain this level of accuracy. Engaging in regular spelling practice and utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar checkers can also help ensure that spelling remains consistent in future essays.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By diversifying word choices and ensuring formal language is used consistently, the writer can enhance their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it effectively employs complex sentences, such as "This essay will examine the reasons behind this phenomenon and argue that while there are some positive aspects to this trend, it is ultimately a negative development." Additionally, the use of conditional clauses and participial phrases enhances the complexity of the writing. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be further diversified. For example, the sentence "One key reason for the waning influence of advertising is the explosion of information available to consumers" is straightforward and could be expanded to include more complex structures.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence openings and using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "One key reason" or "Another factor," try beginning with adverbial clauses or phrases that set the context, such as "Given the rise of the Internet…" or "In light of changing consumer values…". This will create a more engaging and dynamic flow to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the decline in advertising revenue could have negative implications for the media industry" is grammatically sound. However, there is a slight awkwardness in the phrase "the downsides that it offers are significantly more glaring," where "that it offers" could be misinterpreted, as it is unclear what "it" refers to. The punctuation is generally correct, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on clarity in pronoun references and ensure that each pronoun clearly refers to a specific noun. For example, rephrasing "the downsides that it offers" to "the downsides of reduced advertising influence" would enhance clarity. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can further refine the writing. Practicing sentence diagramming can also help in visualizing the structure and ensuring that each part of the sentence is correctly punctuated.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can enhance the sophistication and clarity of their writing even further.

Bài sửa mẫu

One key reason for the waning influence of advertising is the surge in information available to consumers. The Internet and social media have enabled consumers to access a vast range of information about products and services. Platforms such as Amazon, Yelp, and TripAdvisor provide consumers with genuine feedback from other users, allowing them to make informed decisions without relying on traditional advertising. Another factor driving this trend is a shift in consumer values. Millennials and Generation Z, in particular, prioritize values including sustainability, ethical production, and corporate social responsibility. They are more inclined to support brands that align with their values and are less influenced by traditional advertisements that do not address these concerns. This focus on values has led to a rise in conscious consumer behavior, where consumers actively seek out products and services that reflect their ethical principles.

However, the diminishing influence of advertising also presents some challenges. Small businesses with limited marketing resources may face difficulties in competing against larger companies that can afford to engage in extensive advertising campaigns. Without the traditional influence of advertising, these businesses may struggle to reach their target audience and build brand awareness. This could lead to a decline in competition and innovation, potentially stifling economic growth. Furthermore, the decline in advertising revenue could have negative implications for the media industry. Traditional media outlets, such as newspapers, magazines, and television channels, depend heavily on advertising revenue to sustain their operations. A decrease in advertising spending may compel these outlets to reduce costs, potentially leading to job losses and a decrease in the quality and diversity of news and entertainment content.

In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that less influence from advertising could have some upsides, I contend that the downsides it presents are significantly more glaring.