The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons and is it a positive or negative development?

The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past.
What are the reasons and is it a positive or negative development?

In contemporary society, advertisements becoming less influence than they were the past due to various impact on current social and cognitive ability among buyers. From my perspective, its merits could surpass its demerits. Discussed below are several reasons that lead to this issue and also some positive and negative effects.
One noticeable reason for the waning influence of ads to consumers is the explosion of information. This means they can easily access research products, reviewing blog and comparison website before purchase items thanks to the advancement of technology devices and social developments. These websites also provides more trustworthy and genuine feedback than traditional advertisement. Additionally, growing individual awareness about advertisement strategies leading consumers to rely more on recommendations from peers, family or authentic user-generated content.
First and foremost, people should recognize there are many benefits of this trend. Obviously, consumers are more control of their purchasing decision, relying on research or peer reviews and less impulsive decision. Moreover, business is pressured to enhance quality in their products as an effective way to approach more consumers. Thus, labels prioritize values including sustainability, ethical production and corporate social responsibility rather than solely focusing on advertising.
On the other hand, there are many challenges for small business. This is because the fact that they might fight it hard to attract new customers using traditional advertisement method. Instead, they might need to invest more money and time into creating a strong social media presence or partnering with influencers to reach consumer’s attention.
In conclusion, the above mentioned facts have outlined the benefits as well as the drawbacks of this issue. Its advantages should be take into account. Personality, I believe that the advantage of this issue could predominant the disadvantages. It pushes company to me more transparent, aligned with consumer values and also help individuals to minimize wasteful consumption.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "advertisements becoming less influence" -> "advertisements are becoming less influential"
   Explanation: The verb "becoming" should be used with the present participle "influential" to form a grammatically correct and formal expression.

2. "the past" -> "the past few decades"
   Explanation: Adding "few" clarifies the time period, making the phrase more specific and academically appropriate.

3. "various impact" -> "various impacts"
   Explanation: "Impact" should be pluralized to "impacts" to match the plural subject "various."

4. "its merits could surpass its demerits" -> "its benefits could outweigh its drawbacks"
   Explanation: "Benefits" and "drawbacks" are more precise and commonly used in academic contexts than "merits" and "demerits," which can sound archaic and less specific.

5. "discussed below are" -> "the following discussion will explore"
   Explanation: "The following discussion will explore" is a more formal and precise way to introduce the subsequent points.

6. "explosion of information" -> "explosion of information available"
   Explanation: Adding "available" clarifies that the information explosion refers to the accessibility of information.

7. "research products, reviewing blog and comparison website" -> "research products, review blogs, and comparison websites"
   Explanation: Correcting grammatical errors and pluralizing "blog" and "website" for consistency and accuracy.

8. "thanks to the advancement of technology devices" -> "thanks to advancements in technology"
   Explanation: "Advancements in technology" is a more formal and precise phrase than "advancement of technology devices."

9. "These websites also provides" -> "These websites also provide"
   Explanation: Correcting the verb "provides" to "provide" for subject-verb agreement.

10. "growing individual awareness about advertisement strategies" -> "growing individual awareness of advertising strategies"
    Explanation: "Advertising" is the correct noun form, and "of" is the correct preposition to use before the noun phrase.

11. "people should recognize there are many benefits" -> "it is essential to recognize the numerous benefits"
    Explanation: "It is essential to recognize" is more formal and assertive than "people should recognize," and "numerous" is more precise than "many."

12. "consumers are more control of their purchasing decision" -> "consumers have greater control over their purchasing decisions"
    Explanation: "Have greater control over" is grammatically correct and more formal than "are more control of."

13. "labels prioritize values" -> "companies prioritize values"
    Explanation: "Companies" is a more specific and appropriate term than "labels" in this context, referring to businesses rather than product labels.

14. "fight it hard" -> "struggle to"
    Explanation: "Struggle to" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "fight it hard," which is colloquial.

15. "take into account" -> "consider"
    Explanation: "Consider" is a more concise and formal alternative to "take into account."

16. "Personality, I believe" -> "Personally, I believe"
    Explanation: Correcting the typo and adding the adverb "Personally" for proper grammatical structure.

17. "me more transparent" -> "them more transparent"
    Explanation: Correcting the pronoun "me" to "them" for subject-verb agreement and clarity.

18. "aligned with consumer values" -> "aligned with consumer values and preferences"
    Explanation: Adding "preferences" enhances specificity and clarity, as consumer values and preferences are distinct concepts.

19. "help individuals to minimize wasteful consumption" -> "help individuals minimize wasteful consumption"
    Explanation: Removing "to" after "help" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more direct and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decreasing influence of advertising and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. The reasons provided, such as the explosion of information and increased consumer awareness, are relevant and well-articulated. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between these reasons and their implications, particularly in the context of the positive and negative aspects of the trend.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each reason is clearly linked to its corresponding positive or negative effect. For instance, after discussing the impact of information overload, the writer could elaborate on how this specifically contributes to consumer empowerment or challenges for businesses. Additionally, providing more concrete examples or statistics could strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the advantages of reduced advertising influence outweigh the disadvantages. This stance is articulated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be clearer, particularly in the transition between discussing benefits and challenges, which may confuse the reader regarding the overall position.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use more definitive language when stating their viewpoint. Phrases like "I believe" can be replaced with stronger assertions. Additionally, clear signposting throughout the essay can help guide the reader through the argument, ensuring that the position remains evident.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for the decline in advertising influence and its implications. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the discussion on small businesses facing challenges could be expanded with specific examples or case studies to illustrate the point more effectively.
  • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples or evidence. This could involve discussing particular industries affected by this trend or citing studies that support the claims made. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures can enhance the overall persuasiveness of the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s requirements. However, there are instances where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the discussion of small businesses. The mention of their challenges, while relevant, could be more directly tied back to the overall theme of consumer influence and the implications of that influence.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of consumer influence and its implications. This can be achieved by consistently linking back to the main argument after discussing each point, reinforcing how it contributes to the overall discussion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, there are areas for improvement in clarity, development, and focus. By addressing these aspects, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their argument and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for the decline in advertising influence, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the reasons for the decline in advertising influence to the benefits of this trend could be smoother. The essay jumps from one idea to another without clear links, such as moving from the impact of information overload to the benefits for consumers without a clear transitional phrase.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, incorporate transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") to guide the reader through the argument and connect ideas more fluidly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph generally focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. However, some paragraphs could be more developed. For example, the paragraph discussing the challenges for small businesses feels somewhat underexplored compared to the previous paragraphs.
  • How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by sufficient evidence or examples. For the paragraph on small businesses, consider adding specific examples of how businesses have adapted to the changing landscape or discussing the implications of these challenges in more detail.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost" and "on the other hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For instance, the phrase "this is because the fact that they might fight it hard" is awkwardly constructed and could benefit from clearer phrasing.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "therefore," "as a result," "for instance," and "in contrast." Additionally, review sentence structures to ensure clarity and coherence; for example, rephrase awkward constructions to improve readability and flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant points, enhancing the organization, expanding on ideas within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "waning influence," "explosion of information," and "user-generated content." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "advertisement" and "consumers." The use of synonyms or varied expressions could enhance the overall lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate a broader range of synonyms and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advertisement," alternatives like "promotional content," "marketing strategies," or "commercials" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as "consumer behavior," "market dynamics," or "digital landscape," would enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "less influence than they were the past" should be "less influential than they were in the past." Additionally, "provides" should be "provide" to match the plural subject "websites." These inaccuracies can lead to confusion and detract from the clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Practicing sentence structure and reviewing grammatical rules can help. Furthermore, using a thesaurus to find more appropriate words in context can aid in achieving precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "influence" (should be "influential"), "impact on current social and cognitive ability" (should be "impact on current social and cognitive abilities"), and "take into account" (should be "taken into account"). These errors can undermine the professionalism of the writing and distract the reader.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, utilize spell-check tools, and review their work carefully before submission. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize the writer with commonly used words and their correct forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases such as "One noticeable reason for the waning influence of ads to consumers is the explosion of information" showcases an attempt at complexity. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure, which can make the writing feel monotonous. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear constructions, such as "the fact that they might fight it hard to attract new customers," which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences and varying the sentence beginnings. For instance, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Due to the explosion of information, consumers are less influenced by traditional advertising") can add depth and interest. Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can create a more dynamic flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "advertisements becoming less influence" should be corrected to "advertisements are becoming less influential." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, such as "These websites also provides" which should be "These websites also provide." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of conjunctions, contribute to run-on sentences and fragmented ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct forms of adjectives and adverbs. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can help catch mistakes that disrupt the flow of the essay. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also provide insights into areas needing improvement.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the range of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By diversifying sentence types and focusing on grammatical correctness, the writer can enhance the overall quality and clarity of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, advertisements are becoming less influential than they were in the past due to various impacts on current social and cognitive abilities among buyers. From my perspective, its merits could surpass its demerits. The following discussion will explore several reasons that lead to this issue and also some positive and negative effects.

One noticeable reason for the waning influence of ads on consumers is the explosion of information. This means they can easily access research products, review blogs, and comparison websites before purchasing items, thanks to advancements in technology and social developments. These websites also provide more trustworthy and genuine feedback than traditional advertisements. Additionally, the growing individual awareness of advertising strategies is leading consumers to rely more on recommendations from peers, family, or authentic user-generated content.

First and foremost, people should recognize that there are many benefits to this trend. Obviously, consumers have greater control over their purchasing decisions, relying on research or peer reviews and making less impulsive decisions. Moreover, businesses are pressured to enhance the quality of their products as an effective way to attract more consumers. Thus, companies prioritize values including sustainability, ethical production, and corporate social responsibility rather than solely focusing on advertising.

On the other hand, there are many challenges for small businesses. This is because they might struggle to attract new customers using traditional advertising methods. Instead, they may need to invest more money and time into creating a strong social media presence or partnering with influencers to capture consumers’ attention.

In conclusion, the above-mentioned facts have outlined the benefits as well as the drawbacks of this issue. Its advantages should be taken into account. Personally, I believe that the advantages of this issue could predominate the disadvantages. It pushes companies to be more transparent, aligned with consumer values, and also helps individuals minimize wasteful consumption.