THE RESEARCH INDICATES THAT NOWADAYS SOME CONSUMERS ARE LESS INFLUENCED BY ADVERTISING THAN IN THE PAST. WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

In recent years, clients are being less increasingly tempted with promotional offers compared to in the past. This essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this tendency before concluding that this is a negative trend.

There are two primary reasons as to why now customers tend to not buy products based on advertising. First, numerous companies utilize the power of advertising so as to exaggerate their product quality that is different from the real ones they already sold. In particular, thanks to the breakthrough of cutting-edge technology, firms just focus on persuasive marketing strategies with eye-catching images and catchy tunes to draw clients’ attention instead of allocating more resources to research and development to live up to users’ expectation. In doing so, this would lose faith in them and give them a sense of disappointment. Second, purchasers prioritize essential spending over discretionary purchases. In fact, in the past customers were convinced to buy products that they might not otherwise want. A good example could be the mobile phone, not least the iphone. Every year people can be seen queuing to buy the latest models of iphone, even when they already have a perfectly excellent phone that does not need replacing. This may derive from the desire to stay up to date with the latest propensity, however, this could lead them to be on the tighter household budget.Therefore, thanks to their experiences, they avoid overspending on unnecessary things, specifically in the economic downtowns which could aid them in saving up amount of finance in case of emergency

Notwithstanding having a negative impact on business, the decrease of advertising influence on customers is a positive shift. First and foremost, this might protect clients’ benefit. In other words, they could be able to pick the best products which meet their demands and are appropriate for their financial health, which might save their economy. In terms of environment, this is considered as an excellent method to protect the environment. This is because when users are less swayed by advertisements, the consumerism might decrease substantially, meaning that less waste production. This, therefore, contributes to build up sustainable economic progress and curb the mass production as well as carbon footprint which motivates businesses to make an attempt to enhance their production quality which would either ensure protection of the environment or meet customers’ needs.

In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind this trend, and it is essential for businesses to strike a balance between marketing strategies and product quality.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"clients are being less increasingly tempted" -> "clients are less tempted"
Explanation: The phrase "being less increasingly tempted" is redundant and awkward. Simplifying it to "less tempted" maintains clarity and conciseness while adhering to formal academic style.
"numerous companies utilize the power of advertising so as to exaggerate" -> "many companies exploit the power of advertising to exaggerate"
Explanation: "Utilize" is somewhat formal but can be replaced with "exploit" to convey a more precise meaning in this context, implying manipulation or misuse of advertising power.
"that is different from the real ones they already sold" -> "which differ from the actual products they have already sold"
Explanation: "The real ones they already sold" is informal and vague. "The actual products they have already sold" is more precise and formal.
"thanks to the breakthrough of cutting-edge technology" -> "owing to advancements in cutting-edge technology"
Explanation: "Thanks to" is too informal for academic writing. "Owing to" is more formal and suitable for academic contexts.
"firms just focus on" -> "firms primarily focus on"
Explanation: "Just" is too informal and vague; "primarily" is more precise and formal, indicating the main emphasis.
"live up to users’ expectation" -> "meet users’ expectations"
Explanation: "Live up to" is a less formal idiom; "meet" is more straightforward and appropriate for academic writing.
"lose faith in them" -> "erode trust in them"
Explanation: "Lose faith" is somewhat informal and vague; "erode trust" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic tone.
"give them a sense of disappointment" -> "leave them feeling disappointed"
Explanation: "Give them a sense of" is less direct and less formal; "leave them feeling" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing.
"the desire to stay up to date with the latest propensity" -> "the desire to stay current with the latest trends"
Explanation: "Propensity" is incorrectly used here; "trends" is the correct term for referring to popular or fashionable ideas or styles.
"on the tighter household budget" -> "with a tighter household budget"
Explanation: "On the tighter household budget" is grammatically incorrect; "with a tighter household budget" corrects the preposition and maintains the formal tone.
"aid them in saving up amount of finance" -> "help them save a significant amount of money"
Explanation: "Aid them in saving up amount of finance" is awkward and incorrect. "Help them save a significant amount of money" is clearer and more formal.
"considered as an excellent method" -> "considered an excellent method"
Explanation: "Considered as" is redundant; "considered" is sufficient and more direct.
"curb the mass production" -> "reduce mass production"
Explanation: "Curb" is less commonly used in this context; "reduce" is more straightforward and formal.
"build up sustainable economic progress" -> "promote sustainable economic development"
Explanation: "Build up" is informal and vague; "promote" is more precise and appropriate for formal writing.
"enhance their production quality" -> "improve their production quality"
Explanation: "Enhance" is less specific; "improve" is a more direct and commonly used term in formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies two reasons why consumers are less influenced by advertising today compared to the past. The first reason discusses the exaggeration of product quality by companies, while the second reason highlights a shift in consumer priorities towards essential spending. However, the essay does not explicitly address whether this trend is a positive or negative development in a balanced manner. The conclusion states that it is a negative trend, but the supporting arguments for this position are somewhat underdeveloped.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should clearly articulate both sides of the argument regarding whether the trend is positive or negative. This could involve providing more robust examples and explanations for why the decrease in advertising influence could be seen as beneficial, alongside the negative aspects already mentioned.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the trend of consumers being less influenced by advertising is negative. However, the transition between discussing the reasons for this trend and the conclusion could be smoother. The essay begins with a negative perspective but then introduces positive aspects without a clear transition, which may confuse the reader regarding the author’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument throughout the essay with consistent language and reminders of the position taken would help clarify the stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to consumer behavior and advertising effectively, particularly in the first half. However, the support for the negative impact of decreased advertising influence is not as strong as it could be. The examples provided, such as the iPhone, are relevant but could be expanded upon to illustrate the point more clearly. The second half of the essay introduces positive aspects but lacks depth and specific examples to substantiate these claims.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the author should elaborate on each point with additional examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the environmental benefits of reduced consumerism, specific statistics or studies could be referenced to strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the reasons consumers are less influenced by advertising and touching on the implications of this trend. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly tangential, particularly when discussing the environmental impact without directly linking it back to consumer behavior and advertising influence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each argument to the effects of reduced advertising influence on consumer behavior and the broader implications for society and the economy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it would benefit from clearer transitions, more balanced arguments, and stronger supporting evidence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized around two main reasons for the decline in advertising influence, followed by a discussion of the positive implications of this trend. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing consumer behavior to the implications for businesses is somewhat abrupt, which can disrupt the reader’s understanding of the argument’s progression.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") can help guide the reader through the argument and clarify the relationships between ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph is quite long and covers multiple points, which can overwhelm the reader. The ideas within this paragraph could be better delineated to enhance readability.
- How to improve: Break down longer paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones. For example, the second body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on consumer protection and the other on environmental benefits. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve the overall clarity of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "notwithstanding," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall fluency of the writing. For instance, the phrase "this is because" appears multiple times, which may lead to redundancy.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "this is because," alternatives like "as a result," "consequently," or "therefore" can be employed. Additionally, using pronouns effectively can help maintain cohesion without unnecessary repetition of nouns.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall performance in the IELTS Task 2 writing assessment.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "promotional offers," "persuasive marketing strategies," and "sustainable economic progress." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "clients are being less increasingly tempted" is awkward and could be expressed more clearly with alternatives like "consumers are becoming less influenced by." Additionally, the use of "cutting-edge technology" is effective, but phrases like "catchy tunes" could be replaced with more formal vocabulary such as "memorable jingles" or "catchy melodies."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. Reading widely and practicing paraphrasing can help in finding alternative expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "customers" and "clients," consider using "consumers," "shoppers," or "purchasers" to add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices that may confuse the reader. For example, the phrase "exaggerate their product quality that is different from the real ones they already sold" is unclear. It could be interpreted as suggesting that the products are of poor quality, but this is not explicitly stated. Additionally, the term "economic downtowns" should be "economic downturns." Such inaccuracies can detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word definitions and context before using them. For instance, instead of "exaggerate their product quality," a clearer phrase could be "overstate the quality of their products compared to reality." Additionally, proofreading for common errors like "downtowns" can help avoid confusion.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling, but there are notable errors that affect the overall impression. For instance, "iphone" should be capitalized as "iPhone," and "amount of finance" is awkward and could be better expressed as "amount of money." The phrase "a negative impact on business" is correctly spelled, but the use of "benefit" instead of "benefits" when referring to clients’ interests is a grammatical oversight.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should take time to proofread the essay carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and ensuring proper capitalization will improve overall spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary suitable for a Band 7 score, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "thanks to the breakthrough of cutting-edge technology" and "this might protect clients’ benefit" show an attempt to use varied structures. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and redundancy, such as "clients are being less increasingly tempted," which could be simplified to "clients are increasingly less tempted." Additionally, the use of passive voice ("are being less increasingly tempted") is not always effective and can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory clauses and transition phrases. For instance, using participial phrases or conditional sentences could enhance complexity. Additionally, reducing redundancy in phrases would improve clarity. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help achieve a more fluid and varied style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. For example, "the decrease of advertising influence on customers is a positive shift" is grammatically correct, but the phrase "clients’ benefit" should be "clients’ benefits" to reflect the plural form. The punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with commas; for instance, in "in case of emergency," a comma should precede "which could aid them in saving up amount of finance." Additionally, the phrase "specifically in the economic downtowns" is awkward and should be "specifically during economic downturns."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. For punctuation, reviewing rules regarding comma usage, especially in complex sentences, would enhance clarity. Reading more academic essays can also help in understanding proper punctuation and grammatical structures.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing these specific areas will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, many clients are less tempted by promotional offers compared to the past. This essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this tendency before concluding that this is a negative trend.

There are two primary reasons why customers today tend not to buy products based on advertising. First, numerous companies exploit the power of advertising to exaggerate the quality of their products, which differ from the actual items they have already sold. In particular, owing to advancements in cutting-edge technology, firms primarily focus on persuasive marketing strategies with eye-catching images and catchy tunes to draw clients’ attention instead of allocating more resources to research and development to meet users’ expectations. In doing so, this erodes trust in them and leaves consumers feeling disappointed. Second, purchasers prioritize essential spending over discretionary purchases. In fact, in the past, customers were convinced to buy products that they might not otherwise want. A good example is the mobile phone, particularly the iPhone. Every year, people can be seen queuing to buy the latest models of the iPhone, even when they already have a perfectly functional phone that does not need replacing. This may stem from the desire to stay current with the latest trends; however, it could lead them to operate with a tighter household budget. Therefore, thanks to their experiences, they avoid overspending on unnecessary items, especially during economic downturns, which could help them save a significant amount of money in case of emergencies.

Notwithstanding the negative impact on businesses, the decrease in advertising influence on customers is a positive shift. First and foremost, this might protect clients’ interests. In other words, they could be able to choose the best products that meet their demands and are appropriate for their financial health, which might enhance their economic stability. In terms of the environment, this is considered an excellent method to promote sustainable economic development. This is because when users are less swayed by advertisements, consumerism may decrease substantially, leading to less waste production. This, therefore, contributes to building sustainable economic progress and reducing mass production as well as carbon footprints, which motivates businesses to improve their production quality in order to either protect the environment or meet customers’ needs.

In conclusion, there are several underlying motives behind this trend, and it is essential for businesses to strike a balance between marketing strategies and product quality.