The table below gives information about international tourist arrivals to five countries in millions. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The given chart below illustrated the number of foreigners traveling to five nations over the fifteen-year period from 1995 to 2010.
Overall, all countries witnessed an upward trend in the total international arrivals during the given period. In addition, the USA recorded the highest figure, while France saw the most significant increase.
At the starting point, there were 70 million tourists who opted to visit the USA in 1995, which outnumbered the counterparts. After five years, this figure increased by 15 million to 85 million before reaching its peak of 90 million in 2005. Then, the number of foreign travelers to the USA declined slightly to 87 million at the end of the period. Similarly, starting at 30 million in 1995, France recorded a nearly three-fold increase by 57 million during the same period. In terms of Malaysia, from the starting point of 20 million, there was a steady increase in the number of international visitors to 51 million in 2010.
The other two nations saw the lowest figure of arrivals. Both Brazil and Egypt witnessed the same number of tourist from other regions at 9 million in 1995, but then the figure ascended slowly to 15 million and 20 million, respectively at the end of the period.

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Errors and Improvements:

"illustrated" -> "depicted"
Explanation: "Depicted" is a more formal and precise term for describing the presentation of data or information.
"opted to visit" -> "chose to visit"
Explanation: "Chose to visit" is a more concise and direct phrase that avoids the slightly informal tone of "opted to visit."
"outnumbered the counterparts" -> "surpassed those of other countries"
Explanation: "Surpassed those of other countries" provides a clearer and more sophisticated expression of the idea of having a higher number than others.
"foreign travelers" -> "international tourists"
Explanation: "International tourists" is a more specific and formal term for referring to individuals traveling from other countries.
"declined slightly" -> "experienced a marginal decrease"
Explanation: "Experienced a marginal decrease" conveys a more precise and formal description of the decrease in the number of travelers.
"three-fold increase" -> "triple increase"
Explanation: "Triple increase" is a more concise and straightforward way to express a three-fold increase.
"witnessed the same number of tourist" -> "had an equal number of tourists"
Explanation: "Had an equal number of tourists" is a clearer and more precise phrase for expressing the idea that the number of tourists remained the same.
"ascended slowly" -> "gradually increased"
Explanation: "Gradually increased" is a more precise and formal way to describe a slow ascent in numbers.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in international tourist arrivals to five countries over a fifteen-year period. It presents clear comparisons between the countries and highlights key features such as the total number of tourists and the changes over time.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend the discussion of key features and provide more specific data where possible. Additionally, ensuring that all information presented is relevant and accurate would enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization of information and ideas, as evidenced by the overall progression from the introduction through to the conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, which helps in maintaining a clear central topic within those paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as "Overall," "In addition," and "Similarly" contributes to a smooth flow, though there is slight room for improvement in varying these devices to avoid potential under-use. The paragraphing is clear and contributes to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. However, the use of transitional phrases between some data points could be enhanced to make the progression even smoother, which would push the essay towards a higher band.

How to improve:
To aim for a higher band, consider varying the cohesive devices beyond commonly used connectors. Introduce synonyms and more complex linking phrases to demonstrate a wider range of language and to avoid repetitiveness. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph not only states the data but also links back to the main argument or observation more explicitly, which could enhance the logical flow. Using more precise referencing to connect points within and between paragraphs could also strengthen the cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the main features of the data provided. It effectively uses vocabulary related to describing trends and numbers, such as "upward trend," "significant increase," "recorded," "steady increase," and "ascended slowly." However, there is a lack of variety in lexical choices, with some repetition of phrases like "starting point" and "during the given period." Additionally, while attempting to use less common vocabulary, there are some inaccuracies, such as "illustrated" instead of "illustrates" and "ascended" instead of "increased." There are also a few errors in word formation and spelling, such as "nations" instead of "countries" and "opted to visit" instead of "visited." These errors do not severely impede communication but affect the overall fluency.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim for a greater variety of vocabulary, avoiding repetition and using more sophisticated lexical features where appropriate. Careful attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation is necessary to minimize errors and enhance overall clarity. Proofreading the essay for accuracy and coherence would also be beneficial.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, using a variety of structures such as relative clauses ("The given chart below illustrated…"), conditional sentences ("While France saw the most significant increase"), and comparisons ("France recorded a nearly three-fold increase by 57 million…"). There are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the essay that do not significantly hinder communication but are noticeable, such as missing articles ("there were 70 million tourists who opted to visit the USA") and awkward phrasing ("starting at 30 million in 1995, France recorded a nearly three-fold increase by 57 million during the same period").

How to Improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using more complex sentence structures consistently and pay attention to grammatical rules such as article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence clarity. Proofreading for punctuation errors can also enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table illustrates the influx of international tourists to five countries spanning from 1995 to 2010. Overall, each nation experienced a consistent growth in tourist arrivals throughout the specified timeframe, with notable variations in figures among the countries.

Commencing with the United States, it boasted the highest number of visitors at the outset, with 70 million tourists in 1995. This figure steadily rose to 85 million by 2000, peaked at 90 million in 2005, and slightly receded to 87 million by 2010.

France, starting with 30 million arrivals in 1995, underwent a substantial surge, nearly tripling its numbers to reach 57 million tourists by 2010.

Malaysia, with an initial count of 20 million tourists in 1995, experienced a consistent upward trajectory, culminating at 51 million arrivals in 2010.

Both Brazil and Egypt began with identical figures of 9 million tourists in 1995. Brazil observed a gradual increase to 15 million arrivals by 2010, whereas Egypt’s numbers climbed to 20 million over the same period.

In summary, the USA held the top spot for tourist arrivals throughout the period, followed by France, while Malaysia, Brazil, and Egypt demonstrated notable but comparatively lesser growth in international tourism.