The table below presents the food consumpton per a person weekly in a European country in 1992, 2002 and 2012.

The table illustrates the amount of food consumed by an individual for a week in a certain European coutry in 1992, 2002 and 2012.
Overall, there was an extreme increase in the consumption of commodities including vegetables, wheat and bean from 1992 to 2012, while this was opposite to the figures for cheese and meat which started remaining stably and decreased rapidly from 2002, respectively. In addition, vegetables was the most prefered food among citizens in European country examined.
In terms of vegetables, 2140 grams were consumed in 1990, then it saw a gradual growth by 50 grams after a decade and reached at the highest point (2220 grams) in the last year. Similarly, the amount of wheat used began with 837 grams in the first year and increased significantly at 920 grams over the ten – year period and continued to grow up in 2012 with 977 grams eaten. Likewise, the figure for bean started at 532 in 1992 and rose moderately by nearly 60 grams after 20 years.
Conversly, the amount of meat increased substantially from 1148 grams to 1211 grams in the first 20 years; however, the figure for meat fell suddenly at 1132 in 2012. The figure for cheese also increased at the first period (from 113 grams to 125 grams) before remaining at 125 grams until 2012.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"coutry" -> "country"
Explanation: The word "coutry" is a misspelling of "country." Correcting this error maintains the clarity and professionalism of the essay.
"extreme increase" -> "significant increase"
Explanation: "Extreme increase" can be replaced with "significant increase" to convey the idea of a substantial rise in consumption more precisely and with a more formal tone.
"commodities" -> "food items"
Explanation: While "commodities" is not incorrect, using "food items" provides a clearer and more specific description in the context of discussing consumption.
"prefered" -> "preferred"
Explanation: "Prefered" is a misspelling of "preferred." Correcting this error ensures accuracy in spelling.
"vegetables was" -> "vegetables were"
Explanation: "Vegetables" is a plural noun, so it should be followed by the plural verb "were" instead of "was."
"started remaining stably" -> "remained stable"
Explanation: "Started remaining stably" is awkward phrasing. "Remained stable" is a more concise and grammatically correct way to express the idea.
"moderately by nearly 60 grams after 20 years" -> "moderately, increasing by nearly 60 grams over 20 years"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase improves clarity and accuracy by specifying the time period over which the increase occurred and avoiding ambiguity.
"Conversly" -> "Conversely"
Explanation: "Conversly" is a misspelling of "conversely." Correcting this error ensures accuracy in spelling.
"fell suddenly at 1132" -> "suddenly fell to 1132"
Explanation: Reversing the order of the words improves clarity by specifying the final value to which the figure fell.
"increased at the first period" -> "increased initially"
Explanation: "Increased at the first period" is awkward phrasing. "Increased initially" is more concise and clear in conveying the idea of an early increase.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the data in the table and highlighting key features. It discusses the trends and changes in the consumption of various food items over time. However, there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the report. For example, the reference to "1990" in the discussion of vegetables seems incorrect, given that the data begins in 1992. Additionally, the essay could present the information more clearly, and some details seem less relevant or accurate.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, ensure that all data mentioned is accurate and corresponds to the information provided in the table. Clarify the overview, avoiding contradictory or unclear statements. Make sure the essay is well-structured, with clear descriptions of trends, and ensure that details are relevant to the task. Consider reorganizing the essay to provide a more cohesive and coherent overview of the key features and trends.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion in organizing information and ideas. It presents a clear overview of the trends observed in food consumption over the specified period. Paragraphing is utilized, although not consistently logical throughout the essay. There is a moderate attempt at using cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect sentences and ideas. The progression of information within paragraphs and throughout the essay is generally clear, albeit with occasional lapses.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a consistent and logical organization of ideas throughout the essay. Use a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. Aim for smoother transitions between ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing to enhance the overall structure and clarity of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: This essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering various food items and quantities. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "commodities" and "prefered," but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation ("prefered" should be "preferred"). Additionally, there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "consumption of commodities" (a more common phrase might be "food consumption").

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately. Work on collocation and word choice to convey precise meanings. For instance, instead of "commodities," consider using "food items" or "products." Pay attention to spelling and word formation to reduce errors and improve overall lexical accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("there was an extreme increase"), incorrect verb tense usage ("vegetables was"), and unclear phrasing ("started remaining stably"). The essay also struggles with punctuation, as seen in the lack of commas after introductory phrases and inconsistent use of semicolons. These errors occasionally hinder communication but don’t completely obscure the meaning.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on improving sentence structure variety while paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. Utilizing complex sentence structures more effectively can elevate the essay’s sophistication, but accuracy should remain a priority. Proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation consistency is crucial to ensure clearer communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table depicts the weekly food consumption per capita in a European nation during the years 1992, 2002, and 2012.

Overall, there was a notable surge in the consumption of various food items, notably vegetables, wheat, and beans, from 1992 to 2012. Conversely, there was a contrasting trend observed in the consumption of cheese and meat, which remained stable initially but experienced a rapid decline post-2002. Notably, vegetables emerged as the most favored food item among the citizens of the European country under consideration.

Regarding vegetable consumption, the quantity consumed stood at 2140 grams in 1992, showing a gradual increase of 50 grams over the following decade, reaching a peak of 2220 grams by 2012. Similarly, the consumption of wheat commenced at 837 grams in 1992, experiencing a significant rise to 920 grams over the subsequent decade, and further increased to 977 grams by 2012. Likewise, the consumption of beans began at 532 grams in 1992, demonstrating a moderate increase of nearly 60 grams over the span of 20 years.

Conversely, meat consumption witnessed a substantial increase from 1148 grams to 1211 grams in the first two decades, followed by a sudden decline to 1132 grams in 2012. Similarly, cheese consumption experienced growth initially, rising from 113 grams to 125 grams, which remained consistent until 2012.