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The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010. Write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010. Write at least 150 words.

The table illustrates how many dairy products are generated every year in four nations, namely, Netherlands, Australia, Tanzania, Guatemala in 1990, 2000 and 2010.
Overall, there was a growth in the production of milk in Netherlands, Tanzania, and Guatemala, with Netherlands ranked first in three years examined, while a decline can be seen in Australia. In addition, Australia had least products in four countries surveyed.
Looking at the data of Tanzania and Guatemala, Tanzania’s dairy products constantly rose from 87,000 liters to 155,000 liters in a 3-year period. Similar patterns, but to a lesser extent, can be seen in the figure for the production of milk in Guatemala, which grew from 26,000 in 1990 to 84,000 liters in the last year examined. In spite of the improvements of two countries above, the statistics still experienced the lowest milk products compared to Australia and Netherlands.
Turning to the remaining nations, the figure for the milk product annually in Australia was dropped more than 2,000 liters from 11,246,000 to 9,165,000 liters. By the contrast, Netherlands produced the most dairy goods over the period. In 1990, 11,262,000 liters of milk was produced, then the amount of liters grew to 11,466,000 in 2010 after it decreased to 11,155,000 in the middle of the period.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. “how many dairy products are generated” -> “the quantity of dairy products produced”
    Explanation: Replacing “how many dairy products are generated” with “the quantity of dairy products produced” enhances precision and formality by using a more specific and accurate term.
  2. “ranked first in three years examined” -> “topped the list in all three years under consideration”
    Explanation: Substituting “ranked first in three years examined” with “topped the list in all three years under consideration” provides a more sophisticated and varied expression, improving the overall quality of the sentence.
  3. “least products in four countries surveyed” -> “the lowest production among the four surveyed nations”
    Explanation: Changing “least products in four countries surveyed” to “the lowest production among the four surveyed nations” results in a more precise and formal description, avoiding the colloquial use of “least products.”
  4. “Looking at the data of Tanzania and Guatemala” -> “Examining the data for Tanzania and Guatemala”
    Explanation: Replacing “Looking at the data of Tanzania and Guatemala” with “Examining the data for Tanzania and Guatemala” adds a level of formality to the sentence.
  5. “constantly rose” -> “consistently increased”
    Explanation: Substituting “constantly rose” with “consistently increased” introduces a more refined term, contributing to a more polished and formal expression.
  6. “Similar patterns, but to a lesser extent, can be seen” -> “Comparable trends, albeit less pronounced, are evident”
    Explanation: Changing “Similar patterns, but to a lesser extent, can be seen” to “Comparable trends, albeit less pronounced, are evident” introduces a more sophisticated structure and vocabulary.
  7. “figure for the milk product annually” -> “annual milk production figures”
    Explanation: Replacing “figure for the milk product annually” with “annual milk production figures” is a more precise and conventional way to refer to the data.
  8. “By the contrast” -> “In contrast”
    Explanation: Substituting “By the contrast” with “In contrast” improves the flow and grammatical structure of the sentence, making it more formal and polished.
  9. “dropped more than 2,000 liters” -> “decreased by over 2,000 liters”
    Explanation: Changing “dropped more than 2,000 liters” to “decreased by over 2,000 liters” offers a more precise and formal description of the decline in milk production.
  10. “the amount of liters grew” -> “the volume of liters increased”
    Explanation: Replacing “the amount of liters grew” with “the volume of liters increased” uses a more accurate term, contributing to a more sophisticated expression.

 

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the production of milk in four countries over three different years. The key features and trends are presented, with a clear distinction between the countries. The overall structure is maintained, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

How to improve:

  1. Clarity in Expression: The essay can benefit from clearer expression and more precise language. For instance, the phrase “similar patterns, but to a lesser extent” could be more specific to enhance clarity.
  2. Data Accuracy: There is a slight inaccuracy in stating that Australia had the “least products” among the surveyed countries. It would be more accurate to say that Australia had the lowest milk production among the four nations.
  3. Sentence Structure: Some sentences are complex and may hinder readability. Consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones for better understanding.
  4. Coherence and Cohesion: While the overall structure is maintained, the essay could improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and ideas.
  5. Word Count: The essay meets the minimum word count requirement, but it could benefit from further development and expansion of certain points to enhance the depth of analysis.

This essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the task and provides a clear overview of the data, but refinement in language use, data accuracy, and structural elements would contribute to achieving a higher band score.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay exhibits coherence and cohesion to a reasonable extent. There is a clear overall progression as the writer moves through the data for each country, providing a general overview before delving into specific details. The use of linking words and phrases, such as “Overall,” and “Turning to the remaining nations,” contributes to the logical organization of ideas. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, with separate sections discussing each country’s data.

However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing Tanzania and Guatemala could be smoother. Additionally, there are a few instances where sentence structure and cohesion could be refined for better clarity. The use of pronouns like “it” in the last sentence may create some ambiguity.

The referencing and substitution are generally adequate, but there is room for improvement in avoiding repetition, as seen in phrases like “the production of milk” and “dairy products.”

How to improve:

  1. Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas.
  2. Refine the use of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence, avoiding overuse or underuse.
  3. Pay attention to pronoun references to avoid ambiguity.
  4. Aim for more variety in vocabulary to minimize repetition.
  5. Carefully review sentence structures to ensure clarity and logical relationships between ideas.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, with some flexibility and precision. It appropriately uses less common lexical items, showing awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, but they do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider refining word choice for more precision and accuracy. Also, pay attention to minor errors in spelling and word formation to achieve a more polished presentation. Keep incorporating less common vocabulary while ensuring its correct usage.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, contributing to a varied sentence structure. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, and the essay communicates the main points effectively. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the essay, which impact the overall accuracy. For example, there are problems with subject-verb agreement (“the figure for the milk product”), preposition use (“in a 3-year period”), and awkward phrasing (“with Netherlands ranked first”). These errors, while present, do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, refine preposition usage, and aim for clearer phrasing. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission to catch and correct minor errors would enhance the overall quality. Practicing more complex sentence structures and paying attention to grammatical nuances can contribute to achieving a higher band score.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Revised IELTS Task 1 Report:

The provided table outlines the annual milk production in four countries—Netherlands, Australia, Tanzania, and Guatemala—during the years 1990, 2000, and 2010.

Introduction:
The table illustrates variations in dairy production across the aforementioned nations over the three specified years.

Overview:
Overall, there was an upward trend in milk production in Netherlands, Tanzania, and Guatemala, while Australia witnessed a decline. Netherlands consistently led in milk production throughout the examined period.

Detailed Analysis:
Examining Tanzania and Guatemala, Tanzania experienced a steady increase in dairy output from 87,000 liters in 1990 to 155,000 liters in 2010. Similarly, Guatemala displayed growth, albeit to a lesser extent, rising from 26,000 liters in 1990 to 84,000 liters in 2010. Despite these positive trends, both countries still reported lower milk production compared to Australia and Netherlands.

Shifting focus to the remaining nations, Australia saw a decrease of over 2,000 liters, dropping from 11,246,000 in 1990 to 9,165,000 in 2010. In contrast, Netherlands consistently dominated milk production, starting at 11,262,000 liters in 1990, briefly decreasing to 11,155,000, and then rebounding to 11,466,000 liters in 2010.

In summary, while Netherlands, Tanzania, and Guatemala observed positive growth, Australia faced a decline in milk production over the two-decade period.


Note: The revised report maintains the original data points and adheres to the IELTS Task 1 format, incorporating improved grammar, structure, and vocabulary to enhance overall clarity and coherence.

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