The table below shows the results of surveys of people in the UK, carried out in three different decades. It shows the percentages of people who said they were interested in certain sports.

The provided table compares the proportion of fans of 6 different sports in the UK during the period spanning from 1990 to 2010.

As presented in the diagram, there was an upward tendency in the statistics of rugby, cricket, and swimming, while the opposite trend can be observed in the remaining sports. Moreover, it is evident that the amount of football fans was always the highest data over the given time frame.

The percentage of interesting-golf individuals in the UK initiated at 28 and stabilized until it experienced a slight decline to 26 at the ending of the period. Additionally, the figure for football and judo also dwindled from 59 to 56 as well as from 9 to 4 respectively.

In the first decade of the duration, 15 was the proportion of UK residents interested in swimming, followed by a gentle growth to 16 except for a steady decrease to 2 in 2000. Similar changes can be seen in the statistics for rugby and cricket, which doubled to 24% and increased from 12% to 14% respectively in the last year.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"interesting-golf" -> "golf enthusiasts"
Explanation: "Interesting" is not typically used to describe one’s engagement with a sport. "Golf enthusiasts" is a more appropriate and sophisticated term to describe people interested in golf.
"gentle growth" -> "gradual increase"
Explanation: "Gentle growth" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Gradual increase" is a more formal and precise way to describe the upward trend in interest.
"dwindled" -> "declined"
Explanation: While "dwindled" conveys a decrease, "declined" is a more precise and formal term for describing a reduction in numbers or quantities.
"ending" -> "end"
Explanation: "Ending" is grammatically incorrect in this context. "End" is the appropriate noun form to indicate the conclusion of a period.
"figure" -> "percentage"
Explanation: In this context, "percentage" is a more precise term to refer to statistical data representing proportions.
"duration" -> "period"
Explanation: While "duration" generally refers to the length of time, "period" specifically refers to a certain span of time, which is more suitable in this context.
"last year" -> "final year"
Explanation: "Last year" could be interpreted as the most recent year, while "final year" specifically refers to the concluding year of the period being discussed.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the data presented in the table. Key features and trends are identified, such as the upward tendency in rugby, cricket, and swimming, and the consistent high percentage of football fans. However, there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the presentation of details, such as stating a decrease in the percentage of football fans from 59 to 56, which is not reflected in the table. Additionally, some details lack clarity, such as the description of changes in interest in golf and judo.
How to improve: Ensure accuracy and clarity in presenting details from the table. Avoid introducing information that is not supported by the data provided. Provide more precise descriptions of trends and changes over the three decades. Consider restructuring sentences for better coherence and readability.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a generally coherent manner, providing an overview of the trends in sports interest in the UK over three decades. It presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, discussing different sports and their respective trends. However, there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences could be improved, such as transitions between ideas and the flow of information. Some sentences lack clarity due to awkward phrasing or unclear references.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on smoother transitions between ideas and sentences. Ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one and that references are clear and unambiguous. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear central theme and that paragraphs are logically organized to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It utilizes terms such as "proportion," "upward tendency," "statistics," and "initiated," which convey a clear understanding of the topic. Additionally, less common vocabulary items like "dwinded" and "gentle growth" are attempted, although there are some inaccuracies in their usage. The essay maintains coherence and readability through the use of transitional phrases such as "as presented," "moreover," and "similar changes," which aid in connecting ideas.

However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "interesting-golf individuals" instead of "interested in golf individuals." Additionally, there are occasional errors in word formation and spelling, such as "dwindled" instead of "dwindled," and "ending" instead of "end." These errors do not significantly impede communication but may slightly affect clarity.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, focus on refining the usage of less common vocabulary items and ensuring accuracy in word choice and collocation. Reviewing spelling and word formation will also help in reducing errors. Additionally, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary to enhance precision and fluency in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of complex structures, including compound and complex sentences, enhancing the overall clarity and coherence of the text. There is a variety of sentence structures used throughout the essay, contributing to its overall fluency. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors, such as "gentle growth" instead of "gentle increase." Additionally, there are some minor punctuation errors, like missing commas in certain places.

How to improve:
To further improve the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses in compound and complex sentences. Additionally, aim for consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay to ensure clarity and coherence. Finally, proofreading for minor errors such as typographical mistakes will help elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provided illustrates the percentage of individuals interested in six different sports in the UK across three distinct decades, namely from 1990 to 2010.

As depicted in the data, there was a noticeable upward trend in the popularity of rugby, cricket, and swimming, while the converse trend is observable in the remaining sports. Furthermore, it is apparent that football consistently boasted the highest percentage of enthusiasts throughout the given timeframe.

The proportion of golf enthusiasts in the UK began at 28% and remained stable until experiencing a slight decline to 26% by the end of the period. Additionally, the figures for football and judo also decreased from 59% to 56% and from 9% to 4% respectively.

In the initial decade, 15% of UK residents expressed interest in swimming, which then saw a gradual increase to 16%, apart from a steady decline to 2% in 2000. Similar fluctuations can be observed in the figures for rugby and cricket, which doubled to 24% and increased from 12% to 14% respectively in the final year.