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The table demonstrates the data on the percentage of travellers to and from the UK, and the amount of money they spent over a six-month period in 2008. From the overall perspective, it is clear that the figures for all surveyed categories saw a decline. Regarding the number of visitors coming to the UK, it started off at 2.81 millions in May, and experienced an uninterrupted fall to 2.51 millions in September before increasing back to 2.68 millions at the end of the period. Similarly, the number of UK residents who came to other countries saw a gradual decrease from 5.97 millions in May to 5.25 millions in October. The table below shows the number of visitors to and from the UK over a six-month period in 2008, and the amount of money they spent. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table demonstrates the data on the percentage of travellers to and from the UK, and the amount of money they spent over a six-month period in 2008.

From the overall perspective, it is clear that the figures for all surveyed categories saw a decline.

Regarding the number of visitors coming to the UK, it started off at 2.81 millions in May, and experienced an uninterrupted fall to 2.51 millions in September before increasing back to 2.68 millions at the end of the period.
Similarly, the number of UK residents who came to other countries saw a gradual decrease from 5.97 millions in May to 5.25 millions in October.

The table below shows the number of visitors to and from the UK over a six-month period in 2008, and the amount of money they spent. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table demonstrates the data on the percentage of travellers to and from the UK, and the amount of money they spent over a six-month period in 2008.

From the overall perspective, it is clear that the figures for all surveyed categories saw a decline.

Regarding the number of visitors coming to the UK, it started off at 2.81 millions in May, and experienced an uninterrupted fall to 2.51 millions in September before increasing back to 2.68 millions at the end of the period.
Similarly, the number of UK residents who came to other countries saw a gradual decrease from 5.97 millions in May to 5.25 millions in October.

The same picture is evident in the overall spending of people visiting the UK as this figure decreased rapidly from $1,450 million in May to $1,340 million in July, followed by a fluctuation to October. In contrast, the budget UK residents spent on visiting other countries experienced ups and downs throughout the period from May to October.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "The table demonstrates" -> "The table illustrates"
    Explanation: Replacing "demonstrates" with "illustrates" provides a more precise and formal term commonly used in analytical contexts, enhancing the overall sophistication of the statement.

  2. "From the overall perspective" -> "From a holistic perspective"
    Explanation: Substituting "overall" with "holistic" elevates the vocabulary choice, offering a more nuanced and comprehensive view of the data.

  3. "figures for all surveyed categories" -> "data for all surveyed categories"
    Explanation: Replacing "figures" with "data" maintains accuracy and aligns with a more appropriate term when discussing information derived from a survey or analysis.

  4. "started off at" -> "commenced at"
    Explanation: Using "commenced at" instead of "started off at" introduces a more formal and sophisticated phrase, contributing to a higher level of lexical precision.

  5. "experienced an uninterrupted fall" -> "witnessed a continuous decline"
    Explanation: Substituting "experienced an uninterrupted fall" with "witnessed a continuous decline" imparts a more refined and detailed description of the trend, enhancing the overall clarity.

  6. "fluctuation to October" -> "fluctuation until October"
    Explanation: Changing "fluctuation to October" to "fluctuation until October" ensures a more accurate representation of the time frame, indicating that the fluctuation persisted until the mentioned month.

  7. "The same picture is evident" -> "A similar pattern is discernible"
    Explanation: Replacing "The same picture is evident" with "A similar pattern is discernible" introduces a more sophisticated expression, conveying the idea of a consistent trend with greater precision.

  8. "figure decreased rapidly" -> "figure witnessed a rapid decline"
    Explanation: Substituting "figure decreased rapidly" with "figure witnessed a rapid decline" provides a more detailed and formal description of the reduction in spending.

  9. "budget UK residents spent" -> "expenditure of UK residents on"
    Explanation: Replacing "budget UK residents spent" with "expenditure of UK residents on" offers a more precise and formal phrasing, conveying the idea of financial allocation with greater accuracy.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay effectively addresses the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends and presenting key features. The information is well-structured, and there is a reasonable coverage of the data. The essay successfully identifies the declining trend in both the number of visitors and their spending for the surveyed categories.

How to improve:
To enhance the essay, consider extending the analysis of key features for a more comprehensive overview. Provide additional details or insights to support the trends observed. Ensure that the language used is precise and that the information is presented with a higher degree of complexity to meet the criteria for a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band 7. The information is logically organized, and there is a clear progression throughout the essay. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between sentences. Paragraphing is appropriately utilized, with each paragraph focusing on a clear central topic.

The introduction sets the stage by summarizing the main idea, and subsequent paragraphs present information in a logical sequence. The use of phrases like "Regarding," "Similarly," and "In contrast" helps guide the reader through the essay, enhancing overall coherence.

However, there are instances where the cohesion could be improved. For example, the phrase "From the overall perspective, it is clear that the figures for all surveyed categories saw a decline" lacks specificity and could be better connected to the subsequent details. Additionally, the use of "the same picture is evident" could be refined for greater clarity.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on providing more specific and concise introductory statements. Ensure a seamless connection between the general overview and the detailed information that follows. Consider refining certain phrases for more precise expression, maintaining a consistent and formal tone throughout the essay. Overall, continue to employ cohesive devices effectively to create a smooth flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, providing clear descriptions of the data presented. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, such as "uninterrupted fall," "fluctuation," and "experienced ups and downs." The overall vocabulary is varied and allows for flexibility and precision in conveying information. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "experienced an uninterrupted fall" (repetitive) and "budget UK residents spent on visiting other countries" (awkward phrasing). Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with only a few minor errors, such as missing articles ("the budget UK residents spent").

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource, strive for more precise and varied vocabulary. Avoid repetition, as seen in the phrase "experienced an uninterrupted fall," and ensure that lexical items are used with precision. Review and refine sentence structures to improve fluency, and pay attention to collocation to prevent awkward combinations of words. Additionally, proofread for minor errors, such as missing articles, to enhance overall lexical accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy, falling into the Band 7 category. It successfully employs a variety of complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, enhancing overall sentence diversity. There is evident control over grammar and punctuation, with the majority of sentences being error-free. However, a few minor errors are present, such as in the phrase "it started off at 2.81 millions in May," where "millions" should be singular. Additionally, the sentence "The same picture is evident in the overall spending of people visiting the UK as this figure decreased rapidly…" could be rephrased for better clarity.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should pay attention to singular/plural agreement. Specifically, in the sentence mentioned, it would be more accurate to say "it started off at 2.81 million in May." Additionally, consider refining sentence structures for precision and clarity. For instance, the phrase "experienced ups and downs" might be more effectively replaced with a more specific description of the fluctuations in spending.

Remember to proofread and revise for minor errors to ensure a more polished presentation of ideas, aligning more closely with the Band 8 descriptor.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the report, focusing on refining the language, structure, and coherence:


The provided table illustrates the volume of travelers arriving in and departing from the UK, along with their expenditure during a six-month span in 2008.

Overall, there was a consistent downward trend across all the observed categories.

Beginning with inbound visitors to the UK, the figures commenced at 2.81 million in May, declining steadily to 2.51 million by September, and subsequently rebounding to 2.68 million by the end of the period. Similarly, the count of UK residents traveling abroad exhibited a gradual reduction, starting at 5.97 million in May and declining to 5.25 million by October.

Likewise, the total spending of individuals visiting the UK displayed a sharp decrease from $1,450 million in May to $1,340 million in July, followed by fluctuations through October. In contrast, the expenses incurred by UK residents traveling abroad fluctuated throughout the period from May to October.

Overall, the data portrays a declining trend in both the number of travelers and their expenditures, with variations occurring in specific months.


This revised report maintains the original data points while refining the language for clarity and coherence. If you have any further questions or need additional assistance, feel free to ask!

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