the table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005 (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates how the number of international tourists to five continents changed over the period of 15 years from 1990.
Overall, the total abroad travel-makers exhibited an upward trend, with each continent experiencing varied extents of increases. Additionally, Europe was always the most visited destination throughout the period.
Regarding the top three continents chosen by surveyed visitors, Europe commenced with 280.2 millions guests, outnumbered the figures for America and Asia and the Pacific by approximately 200 and 220 millions, respectively. This dominance was reinforced by its continuous growth to ultimately peak at 400.2. Meanwhile, the number of tourists to America, the initial runner-up, underwent an escalation of around 40 million to hit a high of 118.2 foreign tourists in 2000, before decreasing to 113.2 and relinquishing its second position in the last five years. The remaining, Asia and the Pacific, appeared as a less attractive option in the first decade, yet it shortened the distance with America over the time with its ceaseless surge to 135.8, propelling the continent to second place in 2005.
Likewise, the figures for Africa and the Middle East also developed, yet at significantly lower rates. Starting at 18.2, merely one third of the quantity of travellers to Asia and the Pacific, that of Africa only added another 10 million guests in 15 years, holding the fourth position. Finally, the beginning point of the Middle East was just half of Africa’s, before a marginal rise of 6 million tourists was recorded toward the end of the timeframe, making the continent the least favored place for international travel.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"abroad travel-makers" -> "international travelers"
Explanation: "Abroad travel-makers" is an awkward and unclear term. "International travelers" is more precise and commonly used in academic and formal contexts to refer to individuals who travel to other countries.
"varied extents of increases" -> "varying degrees of increase"
Explanation: "Varied extents of increases" is a bit awkward and unclear. "Varying degrees of increase" is more natural and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"was always the most visited destination" -> "remained the most popular destination"
Explanation: "Was always the most visited destination" implies a static condition, which might not accurately describe the dynamic changes in the data. "Remained the most popular destination" better conveys the ongoing nature of Europe’s position.
"commenced with" -> "began with"
Explanation: "Commenced with" is somewhat formal but less common in this context. "Begun with" is more straightforward and commonly used in academic writing.
"outnumbered the figures for" -> "exceeded the numbers for"
Explanation: "Outnumbered the figures for" is somewhat informal and less precise. "Exceeded the numbers for" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing.
"This dominance was reinforced by its continuous growth" -> "This dominance was sustained by its continuous growth"
Explanation: "Reinforced" can imply additional support, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Sustained" better conveys the ongoing nature of Europe’s dominance.
"ultimately peak at" -> "ultimately peaked at"
Explanation: "Peak" should be "peaked" to agree with the past tense of the verb "to peak," which is used correctly in the context of describing past events.
"the remaining, Asia and the Pacific" -> "the remaining continents, Asia and the Pacific"
Explanation: "The remaining" is vague and lacks specificity. Adding "continents" clarifies the subject, improving the sentence structure and readability.
"appeared as a less attractive option" -> "appeared less attractive"
Explanation: "Appeared as a less attractive option" is verbose. Simplifying to "appeared less attractive" maintains the intended meaning while enhancing the formal tone.
"shortened the distance with America" -> "narrowed the gap with America"
Explanation: "Shortened the distance" is less precise in this context. "Narrowed the gap" is more appropriate for describing the reduction in the difference between two values over time.
"the least favored place" -> "the least favored destination"
Explanation: "Place" is too general and informal for this context. "Destination" is more specific and suitable for academic writing, particularly when discussing travel and tourism.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in international travel, highlighting the overall upward trend and the dominance of Europe. It also presents key features, such as the growth of Asia and the Pacific, and the decline of America. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the changes in each continent.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in each continent. For example, the essay could state that the number of tourists to Europe increased by 120 million between 1990 and 2005, while the number of tourists to Asia and the Pacific increased by 75.6 million. The essay could also provide more specific information about the reasons for the changes in each continent. For example, the essay could mention that the growth of Asia and the Pacific was driven by economic development and increased tourism infrastructure.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information coherently and demonstrates a clear overall progression. It effectively describes the changes in international travel across different continents over the specified years. However, while cohesive devices are used, there are instances where their application is mechanical or somewhat faulty, leading to occasional confusion in the flow of ideas. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically organized to enhance clarity and coherence further.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from clearer referencing and substitution to avoid repetition. Additionally, improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic would enhance coherence. Using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally would also contribute to a smoother reading experience.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the information presented in the table. The use of less common lexical items, such as "commenced," "outnumbered," and "propelling," indicates some awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the total abroad travel-makers" which could be more clearly expressed as "the total number of international travelers." Additionally, there are minor spelling issues, such as "millions" being incorrectly abbreviated as "millions" instead of "million," which detracts slightly from the overall lexical resource.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding awkward phrasing and ensuring that word choices are appropriate for the context. Additionally, minimizing errors in spelling and word formation will contribute to a higher score. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can also help in achieving a more natural and fluent expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. For example, phrases like "the initial runner-up" and "the beginning point of the Middle East was just half of Africa’s" could be expressed more clearly. Additionally, there are minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as "the figures for America… underwent an escalation of around 40 million" which could be more straightforwardly stated. Overall, the range of grammatical structures is commendable, but the presence of some errors prevents a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Clarity and Precision: Aim for clearer expressions of ideas. For instance, rephrasing complex sentences to ensure they convey the intended meaning without ambiguity.
Error Reduction: Proofread the essay to catch minor errors and awkward phrasing. This will help in achieving a higher frequency of error-free sentences.
Variety in Sentence Structure: While the essay already uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and structures could further enhance the overall quality.
Punctuation Accuracy: Pay attention to punctuation rules to avoid errors that may distract the reader or alter the intended meaning.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table illustrates how the number of international tourists to five continents changed over the period of 15 years from 1990. Overall, the total number of travelers abroad exhibited an upward trend, with each continent experiencing varying degrees of increase. Additionally, Europe was consistently the most visited destination throughout the period.

Regarding the top three continents chosen by surveyed visitors, Europe commenced with 280.2 million guests, outnumbering the figures for America and Asia and the Pacific by approximately 200 million and 220 million, respectively. This dominance was reinforced by its continuous growth, ultimately peaking at 400.2 million. Meanwhile, the number of tourists to America, the initial runner-up, underwent an increase of around 40 million to reach a high of 118.2 million foreign tourists in 2000, before decreasing to 113.2 million and relinquishing its second position in the last five years. The remaining continent, Asia and the Pacific, appeared to be a less attractive option in the first decade; however, it closed the gap with America over time, with a steady rise to 135.8 million, propelling the continent to second place in 2005.

Likewise, the figures for Africa and the Middle East also increased, albeit at significantly lower rates. Starting at 18.2 million, merely one-third of the number of travelers to Asia and the Pacific, Africa only added another 10 million guests over 15 years, maintaining the fourth position. Finally, the starting point for the Middle East was just half of Africa’s, before a marginal rise of 6 million tourists was recorded toward the end of the timeframe, making the continent the least favored destination for international travel.