The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005 (millions of people).

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in
1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005 (millions of people).

The table presents the changes in the number of international travelers from five
different geographical regions compared to the global total over a period of 15 years.
Throughout the entire timeframe, all regions experienced a consistent upward trend in
the number of international travelers. Notably, Europe stood out as the region with the
highest proportion of transnational tourists, while the Middle West consistently had the
lowest numbers.
In the initial year, the global count of international travelers was only 448.2 million.
Among them, Europe had the largest share with 280.2 million tourists, followed by
America and Asia Pacific with both regions having over 60 million travelers each.
Middle West had the lowest figure in terms of global tourism, with just under 10 million
travelers, while Africa had double that number.
Task 1: The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in
1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005 (millions of people).
Area 1990 1995 2000 2005
Africa 18.2 20.8 26.9 28.7
America 68.5 112.5 118.2 113.2
Asia and Pacific 60.2 80.3 117.44 135.8
Europe 280.2 390.3 393.2 400.2
Middle West 9.8 11.3 13.5 15.8
Total 448.9 615.2 669.2 693.7
Over the course of 15 years, the total number of international travelers increased
significantly to 693.7 million, reflecting the shared rising pattern among all regions.
Europe continued to dominate the global tourism scenario, with its figure jumping to
390.3 million in 1995 and gradually increasing over the next decade. Asia Pacific saw
constant development in its numbers, reaching 135.8 million travelers and securing the
second rank, while America followed in the third position. Africa and Middle West
maintained their positions at the bottom of the rankings, with Africa surpassing the 20
million mark, while the Middle West remained the region with the lowest number of
international travelers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The table presents" -> "The table illustrates"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise term in academic writing, suggesting a detailed representation rather than just presenting information, which enhances the formal tone of the introduction.
"compared to the global total" -> "compared to the global total number"
Explanation: Adding "number" clarifies that the comparison is to the total number of international travelers, enhancing precision and avoiding ambiguity.
"Throughout the entire timeframe" -> "Throughout the entire period"
Explanation: "Period" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "timeframe," which can sound slightly informal in this context.
"Notably, Europe stood out" -> "Notably, Europe distinguished itself"
Explanation: "Distinguished itself" is a more formal expression that implies a notable difference in a more academic tone.
"the Middle West" -> "the Middle East"
Explanation: "Middle West" is likely a typographical error; the correct term is "Middle East," which refers to the region.
"the lowest numbers" -> "the lowest number"
Explanation: Correcting "numbers" to "number" aligns with the singular noun "lowest," which refers to the lowest quantity in this context.
"the initial year" -> "the initial year"
Explanation: The article "the" is redundant before "initial year," as "initial" already specifies the first year.
"had the largest share" -> "held the largest proportion"
Explanation: "Held the largest proportion" is a more precise and formal way to describe the relative size of a group or number.
"both regions having over 60 million travelers each" -> "both regions having more than 60 million travelers each"
Explanation: "More than" is a more precise quantifier than "over," and it is more appropriate in formal academic writing.
"Task 1: The table describes" -> "Task 1: The table illustrates"
Explanation: Again, "illustrates" is preferred over "describes" for a more formal and precise academic tone.
"changes of people who went for international travel" -> "changes in the number of people traveling internationally"
Explanation: "Changes in the number of people traveling internationally" is a clearer and more formal way to express the information.
"1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005" -> "1990, 1995, 2000, and 2005"
Explanation: Adding "and" before the last item in a list of four items is grammatically correct and maintains the formal tone.
"the total number of international travelers increased significantly" -> "the total number of international travelers significantly increased"
Explanation: Reordering the words for emphasis improves the flow and clarity of the sentence, aligning with formal writing standards.
"reflecting the shared rising pattern among all regions" -> "reflecting a shared upward trend across all regions"
Explanation: "Upward trend" is a more precise and formal term than "rising pattern," and "across" is more appropriate than "among" in this context.
"its figure jumping to" -> "its numbers increasing to"
Explanation: "Increasing" is a more formal and precise verb than "jumping," which can be seen as informal in academic writing.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the data presented in the table, highlighting the key features and trends. The essay adequately describes the overall increase in international travelers and the dominance of Europe in the global tourism market. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and bullet points, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "Asia Pacific saw constant development in its numbers, reaching 135.8 million travelers and securing the second rank, while America followed in the third position." While this is true for 2005, it is not accurate for the entire 15-year period.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed analysis of the data, including specific comparisons between regions and years. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant details and focusing on the key features and trends. For example, the essay could focus on the fact that Europe consistently had the highest number of international travelers, while the Middle West consistently had the lowest number. The essay could also provide more specific information about the changes in the number of international travelers over time, such as the rate of increase or decrease.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization and clear progression of ideas. It starts with an overview statement summarizing the main trends over the 15-year period. Each subsequent paragraph focuses on specific data points from the table, discussing the changes in each region over time. The progression is clear as it moves chronologically from 1990 to 2005, detailing how each region’s numbers evolved. Additionally, there is effective use of cohesive devices to link ideas and information, such as transitions like "Throughout the entire timeframe" and "Over the course of 15 years". Each paragraph introduces a central topic related to the data presented from the table, ensuring a coherent structure.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion further towards a higher band score:

Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and effectively throughout the essay.
Pay attention to the logical flow not only within paragraphs but also between them, ensuring smooth transitions.
Consider integrating more varied cohesive devices to strengthen the overall cohesion without overusing any specific ones.

This analysis focuses on the clarity of the essay’s structure and its ability to effectively convey information without causing confusion or disruption in the reader’s understanding of the data presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay effectively uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends and details of the table. It demonstrates some awareness of style and collocation by using phrases like "consistent upward trend," "stood out," "dominate," and "securing the second rank." These expressions contribute to the clarity and coherence of the essay, enhancing the reader’s understanding of the data presented. There are occasional errors in word choice and minor inaccuracies in collocation (e.g., "Middle West" instead of "Middle East"), which slightly affect the overall fluency and precision of lexical use.

How to improve:
To improve to a Band 8, focus on incorporating more uncommon lexical items with greater precision and accuracy in word choice and collocation. Pay attention to regional terminology accuracy (e.g., ensuring correct geographical terms like "Middle East"). Additionally, aim for a more consistent and sophisticated control of vocabulary throughout the essay to minimize minor errors and enhance the overall fluency and flexibility of expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. It effectively communicates the trends in international travel over a 15-year period, utilizing a variety of sentence types to convey information clearly. There are occasional errors in grammar and punctuation, but they do not significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy score to a higher band, aim to incorporate more complex sentence structures consistently. Pay closer attention to punctuation, ensuring correct usage of commas and sentence boundaries. Proofreading for minor errors will help achieve greater clarity and precision in conveying information.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report:

The table illustrates changes in the number of international travelers across five geographic regions and globally between 1990 and 2005, measured in millions.

Overall, there was a significant upward trend in international travel across all regions throughout the period. Europe consistently had the highest number of travelers, while the Middle West consistently had the lowest.

In 1990, global international travel stood at 448.9 million. Europe led with 280.2 million travelers, followed by America and Asia Pacific, each exceeding 60 million travelers. Africa had 18.2 million travelers, double the Middle West’s 9.8 million.

By 1995, global travel rose to 615.2 million. Europe maintained its lead with 390.3 million travelers, while America saw a substantial increase to 112.5 million. Asia Pacific also grew significantly to 80.3 million travelers, whereas Africa and the Middle West showed modest gains.

In 2000, global travelers numbered 669.2 million. Europe’s figure remained steady at 393.2 million, while Asia Pacific surged to 117.4 million, overtaking America, which had 118.2 million travelers. Africa and the Middle West saw incremental increases to 26.9 million and 13.5 million, respectively.

By 2005, global travel reached 693.7 million. Europe continued its dominance with 400.2 million travelers. Asia Pacific followed with 135.8 million, and America decreased slightly to 113.2 million travelers. Africa and the Middle West also experienced growth, reaching 28.7 million and 15.8 million travelers, respectively.

In summary, all regions experienced growth in international travel over the 15-year period, with Europe consistently leading in traveler numbers, followed by Asia Pacific and America. Africa and the Middle West, although showing increases, maintained their positions with the lowest numbers of international travelers.

This revision maintains the original data points and structure while refining clarity and coherence in describing the trends over time and across regions.