The table showed the price of a cup of coffee in six cities from 2010 to 2014 in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table provides a detailed depiction of the cost for each cup of coffee across six distinct cities from 2010 to 2014 In Australia. Overall, it is evident that Sydney emerged as the most expensive price for a single cup of coffee, whereas the opposite was true in Canberra. Additionally, Melbourne experienced the most significant change in the coffee price throughout the mentioned timeframe.
During the year 2010, individuals in Sydney enjoyed a cup of coffee at approximately $2.9, which was the highest price compared to other cities. Additionally, a single cup of coffee in Melbourne cost around $2.4, closely followed by Brisbane with $2.25 and Perth at $2.1 for each cup. Among six surveyed cities, only Adelaide and Canberra had their coffee prices under $2, recording $1.87 and $1.5 per cup, respectively.
Over a 4-year timespan, Sydney continually maintained the leading position as the city with the most expensive price, costing $3.17 per cup of coffee, showing a moderate increase of 13.2%. Melbourne, observing the highest growing rate of coffee prices, sold a cup of coffee at approximately $2.9 during the same year. A similar trend was also presented in the remaining cities, with their charges ranging from 6.25% to 7.1%, with the exception of Brisbane with no alteration in its coffee price per cup.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The table provides a detailed depiction" -> "The table presents a detailed illustration"
Explanation: "Presents a detailed illustration" is more formal and precise than "provides a detailed depiction," aligning better with academic style by using a more specific verb and noun combination.
"six distinct cities" -> "six distinct metropolitan areas"
Explanation: Using "metropolitan areas" instead of "cities" provides a more precise geographical context, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"emerged as the most expensive" -> "emerged as the most costly"
Explanation: "Costly" is a more precise adjective in this context, focusing on the financial aspect of the coffee prices, which is more appropriate for an academic analysis.
"the opposite was true in Canberra" -> "the converse was observed in Canberra"
Explanation: "The converse was observed" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "the opposite was true," which is somewhat colloquial.
"experienced the most significant change" -> "underwent the most substantial change"
Explanation: "Underwent" is a more formal verb choice than "experienced," and "substantial" is a more precise adjective than "significant" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.
"individuals in Sydney enjoyed a cup of coffee" -> "Sydney residents consumed a cup of coffee"
Explanation: "Consumed" is a more precise verb for the context of purchasing and drinking coffee, and "residents" is a more formal term than "individuals."
"the highest price compared to other cities" -> "the highest price among the other cities"
Explanation: "Among the other cities" is a more precise and formal way to compare prices within a group.
"closely followed by" -> "closely trailed by"
Explanation: "Trailed" is a more formal synonym for "followed," which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"had their coffee prices under $2" -> "had coffee prices below $2"
Explanation: "Below" is a more formal and precise term than "under" in this context, aligning better with academic style.
"showing a moderate increase of 13.2%" -> "exhibiting a moderate increase of 13.2%"
Explanation: "Exhibiting" is a more formal verb choice than "showing," which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"sold a cup of coffee at approximately" -> "retailed a cup of coffee at approximately"
Explanation: "Retailed" is a more specific term for the act of selling in a commercial context, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"with their charges ranging from 6.25% to 7.1%" -> "with their prices varying from 6.25% to 7.1%"
Explanation: "Prices" is more specific and contextually appropriate than "charges," which could imply a broader range of costs beyond just retail prices.
"with no alteration in its coffee price per cup" -> "with no change in its coffee price per cup"
Explanation: "Change" is a more concise and formal term than "alteration," which is slightly more verbose and less commonly used in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the table, including the most expensive and least expensive cities for coffee. It also highlights the city with the most significant change in coffee price. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that Sydney had a moderate increase of 13.2% in coffee price, but the table shows that the increase was actually 9.5%.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. For example, the essay could state that the coffee price in Sydney increased by 9.5% from 2010 to 2014, while the price in Melbourne increased by 20.8%. The essay could also provide more specific information about the changes in coffee prices in each city. For example, the essay could state that the coffee price in Canberra increased by 13.3% from 2010 to 2014, while the price in Adelaide increased by 6.95%.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner with a clear overall progression. The introduction effectively summarizes the main features of the table, and the body paragraphs provide specific details about the coffee prices in each city. However, while cohesive devices are used, there are instances where their application is somewhat mechanical, and referencing could be clearer. The paragraphing is present but could be improved for better logical flow, particularly in distinguishing between different years and cities more clearly.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally, avoiding repetitive phrases. Additionally, clearer referencing (e.g., using "this" or "these" to refer back to previously mentioned cities or prices) would improve clarity. Better organization of paragraphs, perhaps by grouping information by year or by city, would also help in creating a more logical flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the information about coffee prices in various cities. The use of terms such as "depiction," "emerged," and "significant change" reflects an awareness of style and an attempt to use less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the opposite was true in Canberra," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, minor errors in spelling and word formation are present, such as "In Australia" (should be "in Australia") and "observing" (which could be better replaced with "recording" or "showing"). These errors do not impede communication but do detract from the overall lexical sophistication expected at higher band levels.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the precision of word choice and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions would also help. Additionally, minimizing errors in spelling and word formation will contribute to a more polished and professional presentation of ideas. Engaging with a wider variety of lexical items and practicing their correct usage in context can further elevate the essay’s lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While the writer attempts to convey information clearly, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder communication. For instance, phrases like "the most expensive price for a single cup of coffee" could be more succinctly expressed, and the use of "In Australia" should not be capitalized. Overall, the essay shows an understanding of the task and presents relevant information, but the grammatical inaccuracies detract from the overall effectiveness.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors and refining sentence structures. Incorporating a wider variety of complex sentences while ensuring they are error-free would also help. Additionally, improving punctuation usage and ensuring consistency in capitalization will contribute to clearer communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides a detailed depiction of the cost of a cup of coffee across six distinct cities in Australia from 2010 to 2014. Overall, it is evident that Sydney had the highest price for a single cup of coffee, whereas Canberra had the lowest. Additionally, Melbourne experienced the most significant change in coffee prices throughout the mentioned timeframe.

In 2010, individuals in Sydney paid approximately $2.90 for a cup of coffee, which was the highest price compared to other cities. A single cup of coffee in Melbourne cost around $2.40, closely followed by Brisbane at $2.25 and Perth at $2.10. Among the six surveyed cities, only Adelaide and Canberra had coffee prices below $2, recording $1.87 and $1.50 per cup, respectively.

Over the four-year period, Sydney consistently maintained its position as the city with the highest price, costing $3.17 per cup of coffee, which reflects a moderate increase of 13.2%. Melbourne, observing the highest growth rate in coffee prices, sold a cup of coffee for approximately $2.90 during the same year. A similar trend was also noted in the remaining cities, with price increases ranging from 6.25% to 7.1%, except for Brisbane, which showed no change in its coffee price per cup.