the table shows the number of tourists in millions visiting a particular Caribbean island. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words
the table shows the number of tourists in millions visiting a particular Caribbean island. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words
The table illustrates how many arrivals in millions of visitor travel to a specific Caribbean island over the period of 7 years starting at 2010.
Overall, every places saw an upward trend over the given period. In addition, the highest figure was seen in the number of visitor to cruise ships in 2017. Nevertheless, from 2010 to 2015 more people stayed on island than on cruise ships.
Starting at a higher point than cruise ships, the island accommodate 0.5 million guests in the first year, two-fold as much as that of island. After that, there was a significant increase to 1.5 million of visitors in 2015, followed by a slight decline of approximately to 1.25 one year later. However, at the end of period, the figure grew again at 1.5 million, three-fold compared to the started point.
Looking at close to the data of people stayed offshore, in the first three years there was a fluctuation between 0.25 and 0.5 million visitors, followed by the arrivals were two-fold higher than expected at 1 million in 2014. In the next three years, this figure stood at 2.0 million in 2017. In total, over 7-year period, one million of tourist visited to caribbean in 2010 and then this data experience a rapid growth to 3.5 million at the end of given period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"how many arrivals in millions of visitor travel" -> "the number of arrivals in millions of visitors traveling"
Explanation: "How many" is informal and vague; "the number of" is more precise. "Visitor" should be pluralized to "visitors" for grammatical accuracy, and "travel" should be changed to "traveling" to maintain parallel structure. -
"every places" -> "all locations"
Explanation: "Every places" is grammatically incorrect; "all locations" is more precise and formal. -
"the highest figure was seen in the number of visitor to cruise ships" -> "the highest figure was recorded for the number of visitors to cruise ships"
Explanation: "Was seen" is informal; "was recorded" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing. "Visitor" should be pluralized to "visitors" for grammatical accuracy. -
"more people stayed on island than on cruise ships" -> "more people stayed on the island than on cruise ships"
Explanation: "On island" is missing the article "the," which is necessary for grammatical correctness. -
"the island accommodate 0.5 million guests" -> "the island accommodated 0.5 million guests"
Explanation: "Accommodate" should be in the past tense "accommodated" to match the past context of the essay. -
"two-fold as much as that of island" -> "twice as many as that of the island"
Explanation: "Two-fold" is less commonly used in academic writing; "twice as many" is clearer and more straightforward. Additionally, "that of island" should include "the" for grammatical accuracy. -
"a significant increase to 1.5 million of visitors" -> "a significant increase to 1.5 million visitors"
Explanation: The phrase "of visitors" is unnecessary and can be omitted for conciseness. -
"approximately to 1.25 one year later" -> "approximately 1.25 million one year later"
Explanation: "Approximately to" is incorrect; it should simply be "approximately." Additionally, "one year later" should specify "million" for clarity. -
"at the end of period" -> "at the end of the period"
Explanation: The article "the" is missing, which is necessary for grammatical correctness. -
"three-fold compared to the started point" -> "threefold compared to the starting point"
Explanation: "Three-fold" should be written as "threefold" in academic contexts, and "the started point" should be "the starting point" for clarity. -
"Looking at close to the data of people stayed offshore" -> "Examining the data regarding individuals who stayed offshore"
Explanation: "Looking at close to" is vague and informal; "examining" is more precise. "People stayed offshore" should be rephrased to "individuals who stayed offshore" for clarity and formality. -
"there was a fluctuation between 0.25 and 0.5 million visitors" -> "there was fluctuation between 0.25 and 0.5 million visitors"
Explanation: The article "a" is unnecessary and can be omitted for conciseness. -
"the arrivals were two-fold higher than expected" -> "the arrivals were twice as high as expected"
Explanation: "Two-fold" is less commonly used in academic writing; "twice as high" is clearer and more straightforward. -
"In total, over 7-year period" -> "In total, over a 7-year period"
Explanation: The article "a" is missing, which is necessary for grammatical correctness. -
"one million of tourist visited to caribbean" -> "one million tourists visited the Caribbean"
Explanation: "One million of tourist" should be "one million tourists" for grammatical accuracy, and "visited to" should be "visited" for correct verb usage. "Caribbean" should be capitalized. -
"this data experience a rapid growth" -> "this data experienced rapid growth"
Explanation: "Experience" should be in the past tense "experienced" to match the past context, and "a" is unnecessary before "rapid growth."
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, and the data is recounted mechanically with no clear overview. The essay presents some key features, but it inadequately covers them. There is a tendency to focus on details rather than the overall trends.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by presenting a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on the key features of the data and avoid getting bogged down in details. The essay should also be more concise and avoid repetition. For example, the essay could be improved by stating that the number of tourists visiting the island increased from 1 million in 2010 to 3.5 million in 2017. The essay could also be improved by comparing the number of tourists visiting the island by cruise ship to the number of tourists visiting the island by staying on the island. For example, the essay could state that the number of tourists visiting the island by cruise ship increased from 0.25 million in 2010 to 2 million in 2017, while the number of tourists visiting the island by staying on the island increased from 0.5 million in 2010 to 1.5 million in 2017.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to summarize the data and make comparisons, the structure is somewhat unclear, leading to confusion in understanding the trends. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which detracts from the overall coherence of the essay. For instance, phrases like "two-fold as much" and "approximately to 1.25 one year later" are awkwardly constructed and may confuse the reader. Additionally, paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the ideas do not flow logically from one to the next, and some sentences are repetitive. Overall, while there are attempts to organize the information, the lack of clarity and cohesion limits the effectiveness of the response.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing the information into distinct paragraphs, each with a central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help to connect ideas more logically. Additionally, ensuring that comparisons are clearly articulated and avoiding awkward phrasing will improve clarity. Finally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and logical progression will strengthen the overall structure of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the island accommodate" instead of "the island accommodated," and "the figure grew again at 1.5 million" which could be phrased more clearly. There are also errors in spelling and word formation, such as "two-fold as much as that of island" which lacks clarity and grammatical correctness. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do affect the overall fluency and precision of the writing.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on enhancing their vocabulary range by using more precise and varied word choices. Additionally, attention should be paid to grammatical structures and collocations to avoid awkward phrasing. Practicing spelling and word formation will also help reduce errors and improve clarity. Reading more high-quality texts can provide exposure to sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that can be incorporated into writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures. While it attempts to use complex sentences, many of them are inaccurate or poorly constructed, which affects clarity. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("accommodate" instead of "accommodated") and awkward phrasing ("the figure grew again at 1.5 million"). Additionally, punctuation errors are present, which can cause confusion for the reader. Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the grammatical inaccuracies hinder effective communication.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Increase grammatical accuracy: Review and practice common grammatical structures to reduce errors, particularly in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
- Expand sentence variety: Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including more complex sentences that are correctly formed.
- Enhance clarity: Ensure that sentences are clear and concise, avoiding awkward constructions that may confuse the reader.
- Proofreading: Allocate time to review the essay for grammatical and punctuation errors before submission.
Bài sửa mẫu
The table illustrates the number of arrivals in millions of visitors traveling to a specific Caribbean island over a period of seven years, starting in 2010.
Overall, all categories experienced an upward trend during the given period. Additionally, the highest figure was recorded for the number of visitors arriving via cruise ships in 2017. Nevertheless, from 2010 to 2015, more people stayed on the island than on cruise ships.
Starting at a higher point than cruise ship arrivals, the island accommodated 0.5 million guests in the first year, which was double the number of visitors on cruise ships. After that, there was a significant increase to 1.5 million visitors in 2015, followed by a slight decline to approximately 1.25 million the following year. However, by the end of the period, the figure grew again to 1.5 million, three times the initial number.
Looking closely at the data for those who stayed offshore, in the first three years, there was fluctuation between 0.25 and 0.5 million visitors, followed by a doubling of arrivals to 1 million in 2014. In the next three years, this figure reached 2.0 million in 2017. In total, over the seven-year period, one million tourists visited the Caribbean in 2010, and this figure experienced rapid growth to 3.5 million by the end of the given period.
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