The table shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990, 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates yearly milk production level of 4 countries, namely Netherlands, Australia, Tanzania and Guatemala in the period of 20 years, commencing from 1990.
It is clear that with the exception of Australia whose milk manufacture quantity dropped every 10 year, Netherlands, Tanzania and Guatemala produced an increasing amount of milk in the given period. In addition, despite a negligible reduction in the second half of the period, Netherlands still maintained as the top milk producer in 4 countries.
In terms of countries with higher production figure of milk, Netherlands and Australia’s milk industry started the period at similar production level of around 11.2 million litres, both of which then slightly lessened to about 11.2 million litres. However, the year 2010 witnessed an opposite pattern in the national milk manufacture figure of these two countries, when Netherlands made a significant leap to 11.4 million litres to reach the highest rank, while Australia experienced a plunge to 9.165 million litres and stayed at the second highest position.
With regard to two remaining countries with lower level of milk produced per year, Tanzania made a considerably higher amount of milk compared to Guatemala. The 1990-level of milk in Tanzania stood at 87.000 litres, then grew remarkably to 142.000 litres. This growth then decelerated in 2010, when this country’s figure increased by only 13.000 litres to 155.000 litres. This trend also happened in Guatemala, with the figure rising from 26.000 in 1990 to more than double in 55.000 litres, which then moderately went up to 85.000 litres at the end of the period.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"milk production level" -> "milk production levels"
Explanation: Pluralizing "level" to "levels" is more grammatically correct as it refers to multiple countries’ milk production.
"milk manufacture quantity" -> "milk output"
Explanation: "Milk output" is a more concise and common term to refer to the amount of milk produced.
"Netherlands still maintained as the top milk producer" -> "Netherlands maintained its position as the top milk producer"
Explanation: Removing "still" and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and flow.
"higher production figure of milk" -> "higher milk production figures"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrase to "milk production figures" sounds more natural and maintains clarity.
"national milk manufacture figure" -> "national milk production figures"
Explanation: "Milk production figures" is a more precise term than "milk manufacture figure" to refer to the amount of milk produced.
"Netherlands made a significant leap to 11.4 million litres to reach the highest rank" -> "Netherlands experienced a significant increase to 11.4 million litres, securing the highest rank"
Explanation: Replacing "leap" with "increase" and rephrasing enhances clarity and precision in describing the change in milk production.
"experienced a plunge to 9.165 million litres" -> "saw a decline to 9.165 million litres"
Explanation: "Saw a decline" is a more formal and precise alternative to "experienced a plunge."
"two remaining countries with lower level of milk produced per year" -> "the two other countries with lower annual milk production"
Explanation: This phrasing is clearer and more concise, avoiding the awkward use of "remaining" and "level of milk produced per year."
"considerably higher amount of milk" -> "considerably greater volume of milk"
Explanation: "Volume" is a more precise term than "amount" when referring to the quantity of milk produced.
"This growth then decelerated" -> "This growth then slowed down"
Explanation: "Decelerated" is a less common and formal term compared to "slowed down," which maintains clarity while being more accessible.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay effectively summarizes the information provided in the table, covering the main features of milk production in four countries over the specified period. It presents a clear overview of the trends in milk production for each country and makes relevant comparisons where necessary. The essay adequately highlights key features such as the initial production levels, changes over the years, and the final production figures.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed comparisons between the countries, particularly in terms of the magnitude of changes in production levels. Additionally, enhancing the clarity and coherence of the writing would further strengthen the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic related to the milk production data of the four countries over the 20-year period. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices to connect sentences and ideas, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The sequencing of information is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow the trends in milk production among the countries.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, the writer could ensure more consistent and varied use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Additionally, reinforcing paragraph transitions and logical connections between ideas could strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision. The writer effectively utilizes varied lexical items to describe trends and make comparisons between the countries’ milk production levels. There is awareness of style and collocation, with attempts to incorporate less common vocabulary. For instance, phrases like "manufacture quantity," "national milk manufacture figure," and "milk industry" contribute to lexical diversity. While occasional errors in word choice and spelling occur, they do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the writer can aim for more sophisticated and precise vocabulary choices. Additionally, careful proofreading to minimize errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation would further strengthen the lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, including the use of subordinate clauses and comparative constructions. The candidate effectively employs sentences of varying lengths and complexity, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. The majority of sentences are error-free, enhancing the clarity of communication. Grammatical control is generally good, with only a few minor errors observed, such as missing articles or slight inaccuracies in verb tense usage.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, the candidate could focus on ensuring consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay. Additionally, paying attention to article usage, particularly in cases where they are necessary for specifying quantities or indicating specificity, would refine the precision of expression. Finally, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors and enhance overall fluency would contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table delineates the annual milk production across a span of two decades (1990, 2000, and 2010) in four distinct nations: the Netherlands, Australia, Tanzania, and Guatemala.

Overall, it is evident that, apart from Australia, which witnessed a consistent decline in milk production over each decade, the Netherlands, Tanzania, and Guatemala experienced a progressive increase in their milk output during the specified period. Notably, the Netherlands consistently maintained its position as the foremost milk producer among the four countries, despite a slight reduction in production towards the latter half of the period.

Initially, both the Netherlands and Australia commenced the period with comparable milk production levels, approximately 11.2 million litres. However, by 2010, a notable divergence in their production patterns emerged. The Netherlands notably surged ahead, reaching a peak production of 11.4 million litres, while Australia experienced a significant drop to 9.165 million litres, securing the second position.

In contrast, Tanzania and Guatemala exhibited lower milk production levels throughout the period, with Tanzania consistently surpassing Guatemala. Tanzania’s milk production started at 87,000 litres in 1990 and rose substantially to 142,000 litres by 2010, albeit with a moderated growth rate in the latter years. Similarly, Guatemala’s production increased from 26,000 litres in 1990 to 55,000 litres in 2010, displaying a more moderate growth trajectory compared to Tanzania.

In summary, the Netherlands maintained its dominance in milk production throughout the period, while Australia experienced a significant decline, and Tanzania and Guatemala demonstrated varying degrees of growth in their respective production levels.