The tables below give information about the consumption and production of potatoes in different world regions in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table provides information about the consumtion and production of potatoes in five regions among the world in 2006.
Overall, upon the examining data, it is evident that Europe was the area experienced the most of consuming over the five stood at amolst one hundred kg per person, while in the opposition, Africa was managed the last standard with just around 14 kg.In addition, Asia observed the highest quantity of potatoes production with 131.2 million tonnes, and the lowest number belonging to South and Central America with 15.6 million tonnes.
In 2006, looking at the consuming category, it can be noted that the used of potatoes in Europe was remarkable outperformed among all zone which was stood at around 96 kg per person while the others just managed under 60 kg per inhabitant.Despite witnessed a humble data when competing with Europe, North America still hold a significant amount of potatoes's consumed with about 58 kg,doubling the figure of Asia and South and Central America, only 25.8 to 23.6 kg per person, respectively.Finally, Africa was the region had the lowest on consuming just only 14.1.
In the term of production, while Europe and Asia still held the top two areas in the chart but at this time there was a surprisingly that the position of two are switched, Asia took the first palce with around 131.2 millon and Europe followed by 126.3 million tonnes.Conversely, the product revenues of the rest section was contributed modest proportion with only 24.7 million in North America, and the representation in Africa and South and Central America with 16.4 milion, and 15.6 million tonnes, respectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"consumtion" -> "consumption"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "consumtion" to "consumption" ensures accuracy and professionalism in academic writing.
"upon the examining data" -> "based on the data"
Explanation: "Upon the examining data" is awkward and unclear. "Based on the data" is a more natural and precise phrase that aligns with academic style.
"experienced the most of consuming" -> "experienced the highest consumption"
Explanation: "Experienced the most of consuming" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Experienced the highest consumption" corrects this and maintains formal tone.
"amolst" -> "almost"
Explanation: "Amolst" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "almost" ensures the text is free of typos and maintains professionalism.
"managed the last standard" -> "had the lowest standard"
Explanation: "Managed the last standard" is unclear and incorrect. "Had the lowest standard" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"observed the highest quantity of potatoes production" -> "recorded the highest production of potatoes"
Explanation: "Observed the highest quantity of potatoes production" is redundant. "Recorded the highest production of potatoes" simplifies the phrase and improves clarity.
"the used of potatoes" -> "the consumption of potatoes"
Explanation: "The used of potatoes" is grammatically incorrect. "The consumption of potatoes" is the correct term and is more formal.
"remarkable outperformed" -> "remarkably outperformed"
Explanation: Adding "ly" to "remarkable" corrects the adverbial form, making it grammatically correct and enhancing the formal tone.
"just managed under 60 kg per inhabitant" -> "fell below 60 kg per inhabitant"
Explanation: "Just managed under" is informal and vague. "Fell below" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"hold a significant amount of potatoes’s consumed" -> "had a significant amount of potatoes consumed"
Explanation: "Potatoes’s" is grammatically incorrect as it is a plural noun and does not need an apostrophe. "Had a significant amount of potatoes consumed" corrects this error and improves grammatical accuracy.
"doubling the figure of Asia and South and Central America, only 25.8 to 23.6 kg per person, respectively" -> "doubled the figures for Asia and South and Central America, which were 25.8 and 23.6 kg per person, respectively"
Explanation: The original phrasing is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies the comparison and maintains a formal tone.
"the region had the lowest on consuming" -> "the region had the lowest consumption"
Explanation: "The lowest on consuming" is grammatically incorrect. "The lowest consumption" corrects this and is grammatically correct.
"just only 14.1" -> "just 14.1"
Explanation: "Just only" is redundant. "Just" alone is sufficient to convey the intended meaning in this context.
"In the term of production" -> "In terms of production"
Explanation: "In the term of production" is grammatically incorrect. "In terms of production" corrects this and is grammatically correct.
"took the first palce" -> "took first place"
Explanation: "Palce" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "place" ensures accuracy and professionalism.
"millon" -> "million"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "millon" to "million" maintains the professionalism and accuracy of the text.
"the product revenues of the rest section" -> "the production levels of the remaining regions"
Explanation: "The product revenues of the rest section" is vague and unclear. "The production levels of the remaining regions" provides a clearer and more specific description.
"modest proportion" -> "modest proportions"
Explanation: "Proportion" should be plural to match the plural subjects "millions" mentioned earlier, ensuring grammatical consistency and accuracy.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the information in the tables. However, the overview is not clear and the essay does not adequately highlight the key features of the data. For example, the essay states that "Europe was the area experienced the most of consuming over the five stood at amolst one hundred kg per person" but does not provide any specific data to support this claim. The essay also does not make any comparisons between the consumption and production of potatoes in different regions.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the data and by highlighting the key features of the data. The essay could also be improved by making comparisons between the consumption and production of potatoes in different regions. For example, the essay could state that "Europe had the highest consumption of potatoes, at 96.1 kg per person, while Africa had the lowest consumption, at 14.1 kg per person." The essay could also state that "Asia produced the most potatoes, at 131.2 million tonnes, while South and Central America produced the least, at 15.6 million tonnes."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare the consumption and production of potatoes across different regions, the transitions between ideas are often unclear and can be confusing for the reader. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to a repetitive style. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some ideas not clearly separated into distinct paragraphs, which further detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that each paragraph contains a single, well-defined idea. Improving the use of cohesive devices—such as linking words and phrases—will help to establish clearer relationships between ideas. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve the overall readability of the essay. Finally, ensuring that paragraphs are logically structured and appropriately separated will aid in presenting a more coherent argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the data, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are noticeable errors in spelling (e.g., "consumtion," "amolst," "outperformed," "palce," "millon") and word formation (e.g., "the used of potatoes," "the area experienced the most of consuming"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader and impede the overall clarity of the message.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise terms. They should also pay attention to spelling and word formation to reduce errors. Incorporating a variety of synonyms and less common lexical items, while ensuring correct usage, would improve the essay’s overall quality. Practicing writing with a focus on vocabulary accuracy and complexity can also help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complexity. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as "consumtion" instead of "consumption," "the area experienced the most of consuming" instead of "the area with the highest consumption," and issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. These errors occasionally hinder clarity, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. While the essay attempts to convey relevant information and comparisons, the inaccuracies in grammar and punctuation detract from the overall effectiveness of the communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures, incorporating more complex sentences with correct punctuation. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate spelling and grammatical errors would enhance clarity. Practicing the use of subordinate clauses and ensuring subject-verb agreement will also contribute to a more accurate and effective writing style.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides information about the consumption and production of potatoes in five regions around the world in 2006. Overall, upon examining the data, it is evident that Europe was the region with the highest consumption, standing at almost 100 kg per person, while Africa had the lowest consumption, with just around 14 kg. In addition, Asia observed the highest quantity of potato production, with 131.2 million tonnes, while South and Central America had the lowest production, at 15.6 million tonnes.

In 2006, regarding the consumption category, it can be noted that the use of potatoes in Europe significantly outperformed all other regions, reaching approximately 96 kg per person, while the others managed to consume under 60 kg per inhabitant. Despite having modest figures compared to Europe, North America still held a significant amount of potato consumption, at about 58 kg, which was double the figures for Asia and South and Central America, at only 25.8 kg and 23.6 kg per person, respectively. Finally, Africa was the region with the lowest consumption, at just 14.1 kg.

In terms of production, while Europe and Asia remained the top two regions in the chart, there was a surprising switch in their positions; Asia took the first place with around 131.2 million tonnes, followed closely by Europe with 126.3 million tonnes. Conversely, the production figures for the other regions were modest, with North America contributing only 24.7 million tonnes, and Africa and South and Central America producing 16.4 million tonnes and 15.6 million tonnes, respectively.