The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided tables illustrate the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney on three days in December 2018.
Overall, it can be seen clearly that Sydney was much hotter than London. In addition, the sun in Sydney rose earlier and set later compared to that in London.
In terms of temperature, the minimum heat over three days in Sydney accounted for around 18℃, quadrupling that in the remaining city. The highest figure for Sydney was up to 31℃ on Sunday 30th, followed by 13℃ of London on the day before.
Regarding the time point for daylight, while the sun in London rose at averagely 08:06 am, that in Sydney had risen two hours and a quarter earlier. However, hours of daylight in London were a half lower than those in Sydney, only fewer than seven hours a day. Sydney had its sun set at around 20:07 pm, up to over four hours later than London.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Overall, it can be seen clearly" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and concise way to introduce a conclusion, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.
"the sun in Sydney rose earlier and set later" -> "the sunrise and sunset times in Sydney were earlier and later"
Explanation: Using "sunrise and sunset times" provides a more precise and formal description of the phenomena, aligning better with academic language.
"the minimum heat" -> "the lowest temperatures"
Explanation: "The lowest temperatures" is a more accurate and formal term than "the minimum heat," which is somewhat vague and colloquial.
"quadrupling that in the remaining city" -> "four times higher than in London"
Explanation: "Four times higher than in London" is clearer and more direct, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "quadrupling that in the remaining city."
"averagely" -> "averaged"
Explanation: "Averaged" is the correct form of the word, whereas "averagely" is not a standard term in English.
"a half lower than those in Sydney" -> "half the hours of daylight in Sydney"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the comparison and avoids the awkward construction of "a half lower."
"only fewer than seven hours a day" -> "less than seven hours a day"
Explanation: "Less than" is the correct comparative form for "fewer," which is used with countable nouns, not uncountable nouns like "hours."
"up to over four hours later" -> "more than four hours later"
Explanation: "More than four hours later" is a more precise and formal way to express the difference in time, avoiding the redundancy of "up to over."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main features of the data. The essay also makes some comparisons between the two cities. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay states that Sydney was much hotter than London, but it does not provide any specific data to support this claim. The essay also states that the sun in Sydney rose earlier and set later than in London, but it does not provide any specific times to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific data to support the claims made. For example, the essay could state that the average temperature in Sydney was 25°C, while the average temperature in London was 8°C. The essay could also state that the sun rose at 5:45 am in Sydney and at 8:06 am in London. By providing more specific data, the essay would be more convincing and would better meet the requirements of the task.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some organization by discussing temperature and daylight hours for London and Sydney over three days in December 2018. It attempts to compare and contrast the data between the two cities. However, the coherence and cohesion could be improved in several aspects:

Organization: The essay lacks a clear overall progression. While it attempts to summarize the information, the structure is somewhat disjointed, especially in the second paragraph where temperature and daylight details are presented without a smooth transition.
Cohesive Devices: There are some attempts to use cohesive devices (e.g., "Overall," "In addition," "Regarding"), but these are not used consistently or effectively. Some sentences lack clear connections to preceding ones, making the flow less smooth.
Paragraphing: The essay uses paragraphs, but the logical structure within paragraphs could be clearer. For instance, the second paragraph mixes information about temperature and daylight hours without a clear separation.

How to improve:

Structure: Ensure a clearer overall structure by starting with an introduction that outlines what will be discussed (main features and comparisons) and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices more consistently and appropriately throughout the essay. This includes using linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically (e.g., "Furthermore," "On the other hand," "As a result").
Paragraphing: Separate distinct ideas into different paragraphs. For example, dedicate one paragraph to discussing temperatures and another to daylight hours, rather than mixing details.

By focusing on these improvements, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, moving towards a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary appropriate to the task, such as "temperatures," "hours of daylight," "hotter," "minimum," "highest," "earlier," "later," "day before," "time point," "averagely," "lower," "set," and "later." These terms convey the necessary information but lack sophistication and variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice ("heat" instead of "temperature," "time point" instead of "time of sunrise," "averagely" instead of "on average") and in word formation ("up to over four hours later").

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, work on expanding the vocabulary range with more precise and varied lexical items. Use terms that are more specific and accurate to describe the data, such as "temperature range," "daylight hours," "sunrise," "sunset," and avoid awkward phrases like "up to over." Additionally, ensure correct word formation and spelling throughout the essay to improve clarity and readability.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a range of sentence structures, including some complex sentences. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout that affect clarity and precision. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the minimum heat over three days in Sydney accounted for around 18℃"), incorrect word usage ("quadrupling that in the remaining city"), and awkward phrasing ("up to over four hours later than London"). These errors hinder the reader’s understanding at times, though the essay generally conveys the main information about temperature and daylight hours in London and Sydney.

How to improve:

Grammar Review: Focus on improving subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
Word Choice: Ensure precise and accurate vocabulary usage.
Complex Sentences: Practice constructing complex sentences with correct punctuation and coherence.

Improving these aspects will help elevate the grammatical accuracy and clarity of your writing, aiming for a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report based on your instructions:

The tables provide data on temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney over a weekend in December 2018.

Overall, Sydney experienced significantly higher temperatures compared to London. Additionally, Sydney had earlier sunrise and later sunset times compared to London.

In terms of temperature, Sydney’s lowest recorded temperature during the weekend was approximately 18°C, which was four times higher than London’s minimum of 13°C, observed on the preceding day. The peak temperature in Sydney reached 31°C on Sunday 30th, whereas London’s highest temperature was 13°C on the same day.

Regarding daylight hours, the sunrise in London occurred at an average of 08:06 am, whereas Sydney’s sunrise was two hours and fifteen minutes earlier. Sydney also enjoyed longer daylight hours, with sunset occurring around 20:07 pm, over four hours later than in London. London experienced less than seven hours of daylight daily, while Sydney had more than eleven hours.

In conclusion, Sydney exhibited considerably higher temperatures and longer daylight hours than London over the weekend in December 2018.

This revised version maintains the original data points and structure while enhancing clarity and coherence in accordance with IELTS Task 1 writing standards.