The traditional family structure is changing in many societies. How do these changes impact social dynamics, and what can be done to support families in this involving landscape?

Changing family formation and roles of individuals residing under one roof has been gaining in popularity recently. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative influences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

There are several effects that can arise from these changes. Chief among them is the gradual disappearance of family traditions when extended family has been significantly replaced by nuclear ones. To illustrate, the nuclear family, which solely consists of 2 generations living together, may reduce the connection and bonds between generations, posing some challenges to convey values and cultural cores. As a result, it leads to a weakened sense of identity, belonging and the loss of fundamental traditional norms such as customs, practices, and values that have been passed down through generations. In addition, the changes of household structure are proven to impose a financial burden on single parents. To be more specific, without a partner to share responsibilities, single parents may struggle to deal with a large number of expenses from accommodation, daily necessities or childcare, which may strain the tight budgets, causing some mental health issues such as: depression and anxiety.

However, a range of available measures can be taken to address the problems. Basically, the possibility of family traditional vanishment can be tackled by regular family gatherings. In particular, organizing frequent events like family reunions or holiday celebrations is an ideal solution, which contributes to reinforce connections between generations and educates the youth about core cultural values. Additionally, it should be the government bodies responsibilities to deal with the financial challenges of single parents households. More specifically, governments may propose pragmatic policies to support them such as lowering taxes, reducing work hours or subsidizing tuition fees for children from fatherless or motherless families.

In conclusion, various actions can be taken to cope with the problems that are certain to arise as the changes in household structure in society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Changing family formation and roles of individuals residing under one roof has been gaining in popularity recently." -> "The changing dynamics of family formation and the roles of individuals within households have gained popularity recently."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. The revised version clarifies the subject and verb agreement, improving the flow and formality of the sentence.
"societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems" -> "societies can implement measures to mitigate these potential issues"
Explanation: "Implement measures" is more precise and formal than "take steps," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.
"Chief among them is the gradual disappearance of family traditions" -> "One significant consequence is the gradual disappearance of family traditions"
Explanation: "One significant consequence" is more specific and academically appropriate than "Chief among them," which is somewhat colloquial.
"solely consists of 2 generations living together" -> "consists solely of two generations living together"
Explanation: Correcting the number to "two" and adding "solely" before "consists" improves the grammatical structure and formality.
"posing some challenges to convey values and cultural cores" -> "posing challenges to the transmission of values and cultural cores"
Explanation: "Transmission" is a more precise term than "convey," which is less specific in this context.
"it leads to a weakened sense of identity, belonging and the loss of fundamental traditional norms" -> "this leads to a weakened sense of identity, belonging, and the loss of fundamental traditional norms"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "belonging" corrects the punctuation and maintains the formal tone.
"changes of household structure are proven to impose a financial burden" -> "changes in household structure have been shown to impose a financial burden"
Explanation: "Have been shown" is more academically precise than "are proven," which can imply a higher level of certainty than is warranted in this context.
"without a partner to share responsibilities" -> "without a partner to share the responsibilities"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "responsibilities" corrects the grammatical structure.
"which may strain the tight budgets, causing some mental health issues such as: depression and anxiety" -> "which may strain the limited budgets, potentially leading to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety"
Explanation: "Limited budgets" is more precise than "tight budgets," and "potentially leading to" is more formal and less definitive than "causing," which implies certainty.
"it should be the government bodies responsibilities" -> "it is the responsibility of government bodies"
Explanation: "It is the responsibility of" is grammatically correct and more formal than "it should be the government bodies responsibilities."
"proposing pragmatic policies to support them such as lowering taxes, reducing work hours or subsidizing tuition fees for children from fatherless or motherless families" -> "proposing policies such as lowering taxes, reducing work hours, or subsidizing tuition fees for children from single-parent households"
Explanation: "Single-parent households" is a more precise and formal term than "fatherless or motherless families," and "proposing policies" is more concise and formal than "proposing pragmatic policies."
"various actions can be taken to cope with the problems that are certain to arise" -> "various measures can be implemented to address the issues that are likely to arise"
Explanation: "Measures can be implemented" is more formal and precise than "actions can be taken," and "likely to arise" is less definitive than "certain to arise," which may be overstating the certainty of the outcome.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the impacts of changing family structures on social dynamics and proposing solutions to support families. The first paragraph outlines the negative influences of these changes, such as the loss of family traditions and financial burdens on single parents. The second paragraph suggests measures like family gatherings and government support to mitigate these issues. However, while the essay touches on both aspects, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the social dynamics affected by these changes.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of social dynamics impacted by changing family structures, such as shifts in community engagement or changes in children’s socialization. Additionally, discussing the positive impacts of these changes could provide a more balanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the negative aspects of changing family structures while also suggesting solutions. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction and conclusion to reinforce the writer’s stance. The conclusion, for instance, could reiterate the importance of addressing these issues rather than simply stating that actions can be taken.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the introduction could explicitly state the writer’s viewpoint on whether the changes are predominantly positive or negative. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the importance of the proposed solutions.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the loss of family traditions and the financial burdens on single parents, and supports them with explanations. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion about the financial challenges faced by single parents is relevant but could benefit from more detailed examples or statistics to illustrate the extent of the issue.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples or evidence to support claims. For instance, including statistics on the prevalence of single-parent households or specific cultural traditions that are at risk of being lost would strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the impacts of changing family structures and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the connection to the prompt could be clearer, particularly when discussing the solutions. The mention of family gatherings is relevant, but the link to how these gatherings specifically address the broader social dynamics could be made more explicit.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. When introducing solutions, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect them to the social dynamics discussed earlier in the essay, reinforcing how these measures can effectively address the identified issues.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, it can be improved by providing more depth in examples, clarifying the position, and ensuring all points are tightly connected to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both the impacts of changing family structures and potential solutions. The flow from the introduction to the body is logical, and the transition between discussing negative impacts and solutions is effective. For example, the first body paragraph outlines the negative impacts of nuclear families, while the second body paragraph shifts to solutions, maintaining a coherent progression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could begin with a sentence that summarizes the key negative impacts before diving into details. Additionally, using linking phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In contrast" at the beginning of paragraphs can help signal shifts in focus more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first paragraph discusses the negative impacts, while the second addresses potential solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth; the first paragraph is significantly longer and contains multiple ideas, which could overwhelm the reader.
- How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by breaking down the first paragraph into two distinct sections: one focusing on the loss of family traditions and the other on the financial burdens faced by single parents. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "to illustrate," and "more specifically," which help connect ideas and clarify relationships between them. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel mechanical rather than fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "additionally" to introduce new ideas, "consequently" to show cause and effect, and "on the other hand" to present contrasting points. This will enhance the overall flow and make the essay feel more cohesive.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, improvements can be made in the areas of logical organization, paragraph balance, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the essay could achieve a higher band score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "nuclear family," "financial burden," and "cultural values" effectively used to convey complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "family traditions" and "traditional norms," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "family traditions," you might use "cultural practices" or "heritage customs" to enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the changes of household structure are proven to impose a financial burden" could be more effectively stated as "changes in household structure can impose financial burdens." Additionally, the term "vanishment" is somewhat awkward; "disappearance" would be a more natural choice.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choice for clarity and precision. Review phrases for grammatical correctness and idiomatic usage. For example, instead of "the possibility of family traditional vanishment," consider "the potential disappearance of traditional family structures."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with no significant errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "fatherless or motherless families," which could be streamlined to "single-parent families" for clarity and conciseness.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, regularly practice writing and proofreading. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading essays aloud can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and exceptions in English to bolster overall spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary suitable for a Band 7 score, there are opportunities for improvement in variety, precision, and minor spelling adjustments. Engaging in targeted vocabulary exercises and refining word choice will enhance the overall quality of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "Although there will undoubtedly be some negative influences of this trend" and "As a result, it leads to a weakened sense of identity" showcase the use of subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed, which can limit the overall range.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For instance, using phrases like "In addition to this," or "Conversely," can help introduce new ideas more dynamically. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence lengths and structures can create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are a few noticeable errors. For example, "the changes of household structure are proven to impose a financial burden" could be more accurately phrased as "the changes in household structure have been proven to impose a financial burden." Additionally, punctuation errors such as the use of a colon in "such as: depression and anxiety" should be corrected to "such as depression and anxiety." These issues can detract from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to revise sentences for clarity and correctness. Paying attention to preposition use and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help. Furthermore, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also assist in identifying and correcting mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

The changing dynamics of family formation and the roles of individuals within households have gained popularity recently. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative influences of this trend, societies can implement measures to mitigate these potential issues.

There are several effects that can arise from these changes. Chief among them is the gradual disappearance of family traditions as extended families are significantly replaced by nuclear ones. To illustrate, the nuclear family, which consists solely of two generations living together, may reduce the connections and bonds between generations, posing challenges to the transmission of values and cultural cores. As a result, this leads to a weakened sense of identity, belonging, and the loss of fundamental traditional norms such as customs, practices, and values that have been passed down through generations. In addition, changes in household structure have been shown to impose a financial burden on single parents. To be more specific, without a partner to share the responsibilities, single parents may struggle to manage a large number of expenses related to accommodation, daily necessities, or childcare, which may strain their limited budgets, potentially leading to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

However, various measures can be implemented to address the issues that are likely to arise. Essentially, the potential vanishing of family traditions can be tackled by organizing regular family gatherings. In particular, frequent events like family reunions or holiday celebrations serve as an ideal solution, contributing to the reinforcement of connections between generations and educating the youth about core cultural values. Additionally, it is the responsibility of government bodies to address the financial challenges faced by single-parent households. More specifically, governments may propose pragmatic policies to support them, such as lowering taxes, reducing work hours, or subsidizing tuition fees for children from single-parent families.

In conclusion, various actions can be taken to cope with the problems that are certain to arise as changes in household structure continue to evolve within society.