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The two pie charts show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The pie charts compare and contrast the percentage of online sales for different products in Canada between 2005 and 2010.

From the overall perspective, it is evident that the retail sectors for electronics and appliances made up a high total rate of online sales in the both years in question. As is illustrated, Electronics and Appliances accounted for the highest rate with 35% in 2005 with a steady drop to 30% over a 5-year period. Subsequently, Canada witnessed a marked fall of 10% in the proportion of online sales for home furnishing from 2005 to 2010. By contrast, there was a significant increase in the percentage of online markets for food and beverage from 22% in 2005 to 32% in 2010. Followed by, this amount for video games steadily climbed by 5% over the period surveyed.

Overall, despite some fluctuations, electronics and appliances have long been an essential need in the online sales market. Nonetheless, food and beverage has substantially become more important in the purchasing habits of customers throughout online platforms.


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Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, but the information is not always presented in a clear and concise way. For example, the essay states that "Electronics and Appliances accounted for the highest rate with 35% in 2005 with a steady drop to 30% over a 5-year period," but it does not provide any specific details about the changes in the other categories. The essay also includes some irrelevant information, such as the statement that "electronics and appliances have long been an essential need in the online sales market." This statement is not relevant to the task, which is to compare and contrast the percentage of online sales for different products in Canada between 2005 and 2010.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in each category. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of online sales for home furnishings decreased by 10% from 2005 to 2010, while the percentage of online sales for food and beverage increased by 10% over the same period. The essay could also be improved by removing irrelevant information. For example, the statement that "electronics and appliances have long been an essential need in the online sales market" could be removed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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