There is a tendency that news reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think that it is harmful to the individual and to the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Whether news reports focusing on negative contents at a higher frequency than positive ones is good or not has been a controversial topic. Some people claim that daily issues widely featured in the media would result in more adverse consequences rather than meaningful values towards the society. In my opinion, broadcasting negative stories could provide the public with considerable benefits to some extent; however, the drawbacks are far more significant.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that coverage of bad news could help people heighten their awareness of the daily problems. To be more specific, being exposed to these news could help individuals get deeper insights into the pressing problem in terms of their cause, the happening place as well as the level of consequences that it brings. Hence, it contributes to raising people’s awareness about the alarming issue from the underlying aspects, fostering them to work on immediate action to mitigate the trouble. For instance, if there is news about online fraud, the citizens could get more information about the trick that the fraud does; therefore, be more careful when being contacted for some suspicious purposes such as the offer to transfer a great amount of money via bank account.

On the other hand, exposure to excessive negative contents could impose detrimental impacts on both the individual as well as the society. On the individual level, overwhelming bad news could make a person’s mental condition deteriorate as it might trigger the constant fear of insecurity. For example, when reading an abundant amount of news about coaches crash on the highway leading to the death and injury of travellers, readers could be anxious about going on this kind of vehicle. Moreover, on the society level, excessive focus on negative news would result in political instability. In other words, citizens would blame the government for deplorable cases or poor decisions. Hence, there could be some protests against the governments, adversely affecting the nation’s security.

In conclusion, emphasis on bad news could raise the public’s awareness about the alarming issues; however, this trend might harm people’s mental state and give rise to political unrest, which is far more significant than the aforementioned benefit.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"negative contents" -> "negative content"
Explanation: The word "contents" is incorrect in this context. "Content" is an uncountable noun when referring to the idea of media or information, thus it should not be pluralized.
"good or not" -> "beneficial or detrimental"
Explanation: The phrase "good or not" is overly simplistic for an academic context. "Beneficial or detrimental" provides a more precise and formal alternative.
"Some people claim" -> "Some individuals argue"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" and "claim" with "argue" enhances the formal tone. "Argue" is more appropriate in an academic context where assertions are supported by evidence or reasoning.
"daily issues widely featured" -> "current issues prominently featured"
Explanation: "Daily issues" is vague and could imply a temporal frequency rather than relevance. "Current issues" is more specific and academically appropriate, indicating relevance to ongoing discussions.
"meaningful values towards the society" -> "significant benefits to society"
Explanation: "Meaningful values towards" is awkward and unclear. "Significant benefits to society" is more direct and maintains the formal tone.
"heighten their awareness of the daily problems" -> "enhance their awareness of current issues"
Explanation: "Heighten their awareness" can be replaced with "enhance their awareness" for a more formal tone. Also, "the daily problems" is vague; "current issues" is more specific and relevant.
"the happening place" -> "the location of occurrence"
Explanation: "The happening place" is informal and unclear. "The location of occurrence" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.
"fostering them to work on immediate action" -> "encouraging them to undertake immediate action"
Explanation: "Fostering" is not incorrect but "encouraging" is more direct in this context. "Undertake" is more formal than "work on," enhancing the academic tone.
"the trick that the fraud does" -> "the methods employed by the fraudster"
Explanation: "The trick that the fraud does" is informal and lacks precision. "The methods employed by the fraudster" is clearer and more formal.
"coaches crash" -> "bus crashes"
Explanation: "Coaches crash" might be confusing or too specific in some contexts. "Bus crashes" is universally understood and maintains formal tone.
"abundant amount of news" -> "overabundance of news"
Explanation: "Abundant amount of news" is redundant. "Overabundance of news" is more concise and academically appropriate.
"make a person’s mental condition deteriorate" -> "lead to the deterioration of an individual’s mental health"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and can be made more formal and precise. "Lead to the deterioration of an individual’s mental health" is clearer and more appropriate for an academic context.
"political instability" -> "political unrest"
Explanation: While "political instability" is not incorrect, "political unrest" is used later and should be consistent to avoid redundancy and maintain clarity.
"deplorable cases or poor decisions" -> "regrettable incidents or misguided decisions"
Explanation: "Deplorable cases" and "poor decisions" are somewhat informal and lack precision. "Regrettable incidents or misguided decisions" enhances the formal tone and clarity.
"protests against the governments" -> "protests against governmental authorities"
Explanation: "The governments" is vague and could imply multiple governments. "Governmental authorities" is more precise and formal, indicating the entities within a single government.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of news reports focusing on negative content. It acknowledges the potential benefits of raising awareness while also recognizing the negative impacts on individuals and society.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples or evidence to support the argument. Additionally, ensuring a clearer structure that explicitly addresses each component of the prompt could strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, asserting that while there are some benefits to broadcasting negative news, the drawbacks outweigh them. This position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: To further improve clarity, it could be helpful to strengthen the introduction by providing a more explicit thesis statement that clearly states the author’s viewpoint and outlines the essay’s main arguments.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and develops ideas reasonably well, providing examples and explanations to support the argument. However, some points could be further elaborated or connected more cohesively to strengthen the overall argumentation.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, consider expanding on the examples provided and offering additional supporting details or evidence. Additionally, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the impact of news reports focusing on negative content as prompted. However, there are moments where the focus slightly deviates, such as when discussing political unrest.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, it’s essential to ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme of the prompt. Avoiding tangential discussions can help maintain clarity and relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, strengthening the thesis statement, expanding on ideas, and maintaining focus on the central topic. With these enhancements, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization, with a structured introduction, body paragraphs presenting opposing viewpoints, and a conclusion that summarizes the argument. Each paragraph follows a coherent progression of ideas, starting with an introduction that sets up the argument, followed by body paragraphs that present arguments for and against the idea of news focusing on negative content, and finally a conclusion that restates the author’s opinion. For instance, the author begins by introducing the topic, presents arguments supporting the benefits of negative news coverage, then transitions smoothly into discussing the drawbacks before concluding with a balanced summary.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea can further enhance coherence. Additionally, using transitional phrases to guide the reader between paragraphs can strengthen the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure its ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction introduces the topic and presents the author’s thesis statement. Subsequent paragraphs present supporting arguments and examples, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the second paragraph discusses the benefits of negative news coverage, while the third paragraph addresses the drawbacks.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by focusing on a single main idea. Additionally, varying sentence structure and length within paragraphs can help maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates effective use of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as pronouns ("it," "this trend"), conjunctions ("however," "on the other hand"), and transitional phrases ("on the one hand," "on the other hand," "in conclusion") are used to link ideas and create a smooth flow of information. For example, transitional phrases signal shifts between contrasting viewpoints, while pronouns help maintain coherence by referring back to previously mentioned concepts.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively uses cohesive devices, incorporating a wider variety of transitional phrases and synonyms can further enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, paying attention to parallel structure and consistency in sentence construction can improve clarity and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, employing varied lexical choices throughout. For instance, phrases like "adverse consequences," "heighten their awareness," "pressing problem," and "alarming issue" exhibit an attempt to employ diverse vocabulary. However, there is room for enhancement in the variety and sophistication of vocabulary usage. While the essay effectively communicates ideas, it could benefit from incorporating more advanced vocabulary to elevate the lexical richness further.
- How to improve: To enrich the lexical resource, consider integrating more sophisticated vocabulary that accurately conveys nuanced meanings. For instance, instead of using commonly employed phrases like "bad news" or "negative contents," explore alternatives such as "detrimental information" or "adverse narratives." Additionally, introducing specialized terminology or idiomatic expressions relevant to the discussion could enhance the lexical diversity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally precise use of vocabulary, effectively conveying ideas with clarity. Instances such as "heighten their awareness" and "deteriorate as it might trigger the constant fear of insecurity" illustrate attempts at precise vocabulary usage. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise or refined. For example, the repetition of phrases like "negative contents" could be substituted with more specific terms to avoid redundancy and enhance clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for greater precision by selecting vocabulary that accurately captures the intended meaning. Rather than relying on generic terms, strive to use more precise language that conveys nuances effectively. For instance, instead of using broad terms like "detrimental impacts," specify the exact repercussions, such as "psychological distress" or "social unrest." Additionally, ensure that the chosen vocabulary aligns precisely with the context to avoid ambiguity or misinterpretation.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with minimal errors observed. Spelling is generally correct throughout the essay, contributing to overall readability and comprehension. Instances such as "fraud" and "protests" showcase the adherence to proper spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing strategies such as proofreading carefully before submission, utilizing spell-checking tools, and actively expanding your vocabulary to become more familiar with spelling patterns. Additionally, paying attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing their correct usage can aid in improving spelling proficiency over time.

Overall, while the essay exhibits commendable efforts in utilizing a range of vocabulary and maintaining spelling accuracy, there are opportunities for refinement to elevate the lexical resource further. By incorporating more diverse and precise vocabulary choices while ensuring correct spelling, the essay can enhance clarity, sophistication, and overall effectiveness in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, transitioning smoothly between simple, compound, and complex sentences. Examples of complex sentences include "Whether news reports focusing on negative contents at a higher frequency than positive ones is good or not has been a controversial topic" and "For instance, if there is news about online fraud, the citizens could get more information about the trick that the fraud does; therefore, be more careful when being contacted for some suspicious purposes such as the offer to transfer a great amount of money via bank account." These sentences illustrate the writer’s ability to articulate arguments with clarity and sophistication. However, there is a tendency to rely heavily on a formulaic structure in the development of arguments, which can detr

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate over whether news reports predominantly highlight negative content rather than positive developments has sparked controversy. Some individuals argue that the frequent coverage of daily issues in the media could lead to more detrimental effects rather than beneficial outcomes for society. In my view, while broadcasting negative stories may offer some advantages, the drawbacks outweigh them significantly.

On one hand, it is undeniable that the coverage of negative news can help individuals enhance their awareness of current issues. Specifically, exposure to these reports can provide deeper insights into pressing problems, including their causes, locations, and consequences. Consequently, it can foster a sense of urgency among the public, encouraging them to take immediate action to address the issues at hand. For example, news about online fraud can educate citizens about the methods employed by fraudsters, prompting them to exercise caution when approached for suspicious purposes, such as offers to transfer large sums of money via bank accounts.

On the other hand, an overabundance of negative content can have detrimental effects on both individuals and society. At the individual level, excessive exposure to bad news can contribute to the deterioration of mental health by instilling a constant sense of insecurity and fear. For instance, an onslaught of reports about bus crashes resulting in fatalities and injuries may provoke anxiety about traveling by coach. Moreover, at the societal level, an excessive focus on negative news can fuel political unrest by fostering discontent and eroding trust in governmental authorities. This can lead to protests against the government, further destabilizing the nation.

In conclusion, while highlighting negative news can raise awareness of pressing issues, the potential harm to individuals’ mental well-being and the risk of political instability are significant concerns. Therefore, it is essential for media outlets to strike a balance between reporting on negative events and showcasing positive developments to ensure a more holistic understanding of the world.