These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers. What are the reasons for this and how could the problem be solved?

In today’s society, there is a consistent downturn in the number of people willing to become teachers in many parts of the world. Various motives contribute to this problem such as the heavy responsibility and low compensation is one of the significant reasons for this trend. However, some solutions can be implemented to encourage people to become teachers by offering higher salaries and applying technology into teaching.
Teachers are not well-paid is one of the factors that caused young talents less eager to choose this career. In order to pursue this job, people have to put in a great deal of work and spend a lot of time and money studying hard. In return, the compensation received from being a teacher does not meet their expectation. This is particularly evidence in many public schools in Vietnam, where the salaries of teachers don’t even reach the range of average white collar's income. Therefore, more youth talents are gradually losing interest and are less inclined to become teachers. Furthermore, the constant increase of workload and heavy responsibilities towards students also discourage people from choosing teaching as a career. Teachers have to manage the class, providing tasks while also need to take care of individuals and ensure student success. Some duties can be seen such as handling grading, planning lessons, identifying issues like bullying and mental health concerns, providing an engaging atmosphere and so on.
In order to shift people’s perception of becoming a teacher and make them feel welcome to this career path, initiatives should be proposed to encourage young talents to enter into the teaching profession. Firstly, Increasing salaries is the top priority. Compensation should align the knowledge and intellectual efforts or the lecturers. By doing this, teachers will not feel undervalued and overburdened. Secondly, Applying technologies such as AI tools into the classroom and students’ management also support teachers not to feel overwhelmed over the big workloads. Therefore, they can save their time and energy to invest in knowledge and create a positive learning environment.
In conclusion, well-paid and reducing overburden over heavy workloads are one of the ultimate solutions that can encourage more people, particularly the younger generation, to pursue a teaching career.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s society" -> "In contemporary society"
Explanation: "Contemporary" is a more precise and formal term than "today’s," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in this context.
"consistent downturn" -> "persistent decline"
Explanation: "Persistent decline" is a more formal and precise term that better captures the ongoing nature of the trend.
"the heavy responsibility and low compensation is one of the significant reasons" -> "the heavy responsibility and low compensation are significant reasons"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "is" to "are" aligns with the plural subject "responsibility and compensation."
"can be implemented to encourage people to become teachers" -> "can be implemented to incentivize individuals to pursue teaching careers"
Explanation: "Incentivize" and "pursue teaching careers" are more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"Teachers are not well-paid is one of the factors" -> "Underpayment is one of the factors"
Explanation: "Underpayment" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea that teachers are not adequately compensated.
"less eager to choose this career" -> "less inclined to pursue this profession"
Explanation: "Less inclined to pursue this profession" is more formal and precise than "less eager to choose this career."
"put in a great deal of work and spend a lot of time and money studying hard" -> "invest considerable time and effort in rigorous study"
Explanation: "Invest considerable time and effort in rigorous study" is more formal and avoids the colloquial "a great deal of" and "a lot of."
"does not meet their expectation" -> "does not meet their expectations"
Explanation: Correcting "expectation" to "expectations" aligns with the plural subject "compensation."
"the salaries of teachers don’t even reach the range of average white collar’s income" -> "salaries do not even approach the average income of white-collar professionals"
Explanation: "Do not even approach" is more formal than "don’t even reach," and "white-collar professionals" is a more precise term than "white collar’s income."
"losing interest and are less inclined" -> "losing interest and becoming less inclined"
Explanation: "Becoming less inclined" is grammatically correct and more formal than "are less inclined."
"need to take care of individuals and ensure student success" -> "must attend to individual needs and ensure student success"
Explanation: "Must attend to individual needs" is more formal and precise than "need to take care of individuals."
"some duties can be seen such as" -> "some duties include"
Explanation: "Include" is more direct and formal than "can be seen such as," which is vague and informal.
"Increasing salaries is the top priority" -> "Increasing salaries is a top priority"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "top priority" corrects the grammatical structure.
"Compensation should align the knowledge and intellectual efforts or the lecturers" -> "Compensation should align with the knowledge and intellectual efforts of the lecturers"
Explanation: Adding "with" and "of" corrects the prepositional errors and clarifies the relationship between compensation and lecturers.
"not to feel overwhelmed over the big workloads" -> "not to feel overwhelmed by the heavy workloads"
Explanation: "By" is the correct preposition for indicating the cause of feeling overwhelmed, and "heavy" is more precise than "big."
"reducing overburden over heavy workloads" -> "reducing the overburden of heavy workloads"
Explanation: Correcting "overburden over" to "overburden of" fixes the prepositional error and enhances clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the decline in interest in the teaching profession and proposes solutions. The reasons cited, such as low compensation and heavy responsibilities, are relevant and well-explained. The solutions proposed, including higher salaries and the integration of technology, are practical and directly linked to the issues raised. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of additional factors contributing to the decline, such as societal perceptions of teaching or alternative career opportunities.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could consider including a broader range of reasons for the decline in teaching interest, such as the impact of societal values or the availability of more lucrative career paths. Additionally, elaborating on the proposed solutions with examples or case studies could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the decline in teaching interest is primarily due to low pay and high workloads, and it consistently supports this stance throughout. The writer articulates their viewpoint clearly, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be more assertive, particularly in the solutions section, where the transition between ideas could be smoother.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that reinforces the main argument. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively, making the position more cohesive.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, particularly regarding the challenges teachers face. The explanation of the workload and responsibilities is thorough, providing a solid foundation for the argument. However, some ideas could be extended further; for instance, the discussion on technology integration is somewhat brief and lacks specific examples of how technology can alleviate teacher burdens.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, discussing specific AI tools or educational technologies that can be implemented in classrooms would provide a clearer picture of how these solutions could be effective.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of declining interest in teaching. The writer does not deviate from the main subject, maintaining relevance throughout. However, there are instances where the phrasing could be more concise, which would help maintain focus and clarity.
- How to improve: To ensure the essay stays on topic, the writer should avoid unnecessary repetition and strive for conciseness. Each sentence should contribute directly to the argument, and any tangential thoughts should be omitted to maintain a tight focus on the central theme of the essay.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in elaboration and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the problem and hints at the solutions, which sets a logical foundation for the discussion. However, the flow of ideas within the body paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing low salaries to the heavy responsibilities of teachers lacks a clear connective statement that would guide the reader through the argument. The second body paragraph introduces solutions but does not explicitly link them back to the problems stated earlier, which can create a disconnect for the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, after discussing low salaries, a sentence like "In addition to financial concerns, the responsibilities that teachers face also play a significant role in deterring potential candidates" could help bridge the two points more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first body paragraph discusses the reasons for the decline in teaching candidates, while the second addresses potential solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly defined with topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. The final paragraph, while summarizing the main points, could benefit from a more robust conclusion that reiterates the significance of the solutions proposed.
- How to improve: Strengthen each paragraph by starting with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could begin with, "One of the primary reasons for the decline in interest in the teaching profession is the inadequate compensation." Additionally, ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes the points but also emphasizes the importance of addressing these issues for the future of education.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "furthermore," and "in order to." These devices help to connect ideas and indicate relationships between them. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, the use of more varied linking words and phrases could enhance the overall coherence. Some sentences feel slightly repetitive in structure, which can detract from the fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "in order to," consider alternatives like "to achieve this," "for this reason," or "to address this issue." Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain reader interest and improve the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "downturn," "motives," "responsibility," and "compensation." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "young talents" and "heavy responsibilities" are somewhat repetitive and could be enhanced with synonyms or more nuanced expressions. Additionally, the phrase "less eager" could be replaced with "less inclined" or "reluctant" for greater variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "teachers," consider using "educators," "instructors," or "facilitators." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises could help in this regard.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the compensation received from being a teacher does not meet their expectation" could be more accurately expressed as "the compensation received from teaching does not meet their expectations." Additionally, the phrase "the constant increase of workload" could be better articulated as "the increasing workload" for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that word forms and collocations are correctly used. Reading more academic texts or model essays can help identify common phrases and structures that enhance clarity. Furthermore, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and word choice can help refine the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "evidence" instead of "evident," and "overburdened" instead of "overburden." Additionally, "white collar’s income" should be "white-collar income" to reflect correct usage. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should practice spelling common academic vocabulary and utilize spell-check tools. Regularly writing and reviewing essays can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, creating a list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are essential for achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria. Engaging with diverse vocabulary sources, focusing on precise language, and practicing spelling will contribute to overall enhancement in writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "In order to pursue this job, people have to put in a great deal of work and spend a lot of time and money studying hard." However, the essay also contains some repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed. For example, the phrase "one of the significant reasons for this trend" and "one of the factors that caused" are quite similar and could be varied further.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, using participial phrases or adverbial clauses could help diversify the sentence openings. Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences or using inversion for emphasis could also enrich the grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity and accuracy. For example, the phrase "Teachers are not well-paid is one of the factors" is grammatically incorrect; it should be rephrased to "One of the factors is that teachers are not well-paid." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. Practicing sentence restructuring can help avoid fragments and run-on sentences. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas with coordinating conjunctions, would enhance clarity. For example, revising "Teachers have to manage the class, providing tasks while also need to take care of individuals" to "Teachers have to manage the class and provide tasks, while also needing to take care of individuals" would improve grammatical accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical structures and punctuation, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, there is a persistent decline in the number of individuals willing to become teachers in many parts of the world. Various motives contribute to this issue, with the heavy responsibility and low compensation being significant reasons for this trend. However, some solutions can be implemented to incentivize people to pursue teaching careers, such as offering higher salaries and integrating technology into education.

Underpayment is one of the factors that has caused young talents to be less eager to choose this profession. In order to pursue this career, individuals must invest considerable time and effort in rigorous study. In return, the compensation received from being a teacher does not meet their expectations. This is particularly evident in many public schools in Vietnam, where the salaries of teachers do not even approach the average income of white-collar professionals. Consequently, more young talents are gradually losing interest and becoming less inclined to become teachers. Furthermore, the constant increase in workload and heavy responsibilities towards students also discourages individuals from choosing teaching as a career. Teachers must manage the classroom, provide tasks, and also attend to individual needs to ensure student success. Some duties include handling grading, planning lessons, identifying issues like bullying and mental health concerns, and creating an engaging atmosphere.

To shift people’s perception of becoming a teacher and make them feel welcome in this career path, initiatives should be proposed to encourage young talents to enter the teaching profession. Firstly, increasing salaries is a top priority. Compensation should align with the knowledge and intellectual efforts of the lecturers. By doing this, teachers will not feel undervalued or overwhelmed by heavy workloads. Secondly, applying technologies such as AI tools in the classroom and for student management can support teachers in not feeling overwhelmed by their significant responsibilities. This way, they can save time and energy to invest in knowledge and create a positive learning environment.

In conclusion, well-paid positions and reducing the burden of heavy workloads are among the ultimate solutions that can encourage more individuals, particularly the younger generation, to pursue a teaching career.