Today, many countries import food from different parts of the world. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The past decades have seen an exponential growth in global trade, especially in the culinary business which has witnessed a significant rise in the food imported worldwide at present. While importing food offers certain drawbacks to countries, I believe that they are eclipsed by the merits.

On the one hand, the demerits of foreign commodities need to be acknowledged. Certainly, the most negatively affected group by importing food from other countries must be the local producers. To be specific, since the demand for imported food rises, less and less people are interested in local products which leads to the fall of the local economy. For instance, many Vietnamese people believe that imported fruits are better than the native ones; therefore, wealthy families tend to purchase fruits planted from foreign countries. Another disadvantage is that not every imported food is well censored or legally brought into countries. It means that buyers might purchase fake or low quality products which can cause malefic influence to people’s health.

On the other hand, the disadvantages of importing foreign food pale in comparison with the benefits. By bringing food from abroad, the food market can diversify the sources and types of products; as a result, meet the needs of consumers. Consequently, this act of business undeniably contributes to the development of related countries as it stimulates the economic growth in each nation through exchanging commodities. Additionally, enterprises have the opportunities to access modern food processing technologies; thus, they can learn from that and come up with their own technology. In particular, Vietnam might be able to own technologies to plant fresh and qualified fruit like Japan, or to grow organic vegetables just like Korea.

To summarize, more and more food is imported all around the world among many nations. From my perspective, although importing food from different countries has some noticeable downsides, it is overshadowed by its advantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The past decades" -> "The past several decades"
Explanation: "The past several decades" is more precise and formal, providing a clearer temporal reference than the vague "the past decades."
"especially in the culinary business" -> "particularly in the culinary industry"
Explanation: "Industry" is a more formal term than "business" in academic contexts, and "particularly" is more precise than "especially."
"has witnessed a significant rise in the food imported worldwide at present" -> "has seen a significant increase in global food imports"
Explanation: "Increase" is more specific than "rise," and "global food imports" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea.
"the demerits of foreign commodities need to be acknowledged" -> "the drawbacks of imported goods must be acknowledged"
Explanation: "Drawbacks" is a more formal synonym for "demerits," and "imported goods" is a clearer and more specific term than "foreign commodities."
"the most negatively affected group by importing food from other countries" -> "the most significantly impacted group by the importation of food from other countries"
Explanation: "Significantly impacted" is more precise and formal than "negatively affected," and "importation" is a more formal term than "importing."
"less and less people are interested" -> "fewer and fewer people are interested"
Explanation: "Fewer" is the correct comparative form for countable nouns like "people," and "are interested" should be "are becoming less interested" for grammatical correctness.
"leads to the fall of the local economy" -> "leads to a decline in the local economy"
Explanation: "Decline" is a more formal and precise term than "fall," and "in the local economy" is grammatically correct.
"wealthy families tend to purchase fruits" -> "affluent families tend to purchase fruit"
Explanation: "Affluent" is a more formal synonym for "wealthy," and "fruit" is the correct uncountable form.
"not every imported food is well censored or legally brought into countries" -> "not all imported foods are properly regulated or legally imported"
Explanation: "Properly regulated" is more precise and formal than "well censored," and "foods" should be plural to match the context.
"can cause malefic influence to people’s health" -> "can have a detrimental impact on people’s health"
Explanation: "Detrimental impact" is a more formal and accurate phrase than "malefic influence," and "people’s health" should be possessive to match the context.
"the disadvantages of importing foreign food pale in comparison with the benefits" -> "the disadvantages of importing foreign food are outweighed by the benefits"
Explanation: "Are outweighed by" is a more precise and formal way to express the comparison.
"the food market can diversify the sources and types of products" -> "the food market can diversify its sources and types of products"
Explanation: Adding "its" clarifies the possessive relationship between "market" and "sources and types of products."
"as a result, meet the needs of consumers" -> "thereby meeting the needs of consumers"
Explanation: "Thereby" is more formal and precise than "as a result," and "meeting" should be "meet" to maintain parallel structure.
"enterprises have the opportunities to access modern food processing technologies" -> "enterprises have the opportunity to access modern food processing technologies"
Explanation: "The opportunity" should be singular to match the singular subject "enterprises."
"come up with their own technology" -> "develop their own technologies"
Explanation: "Develop" is more specific and formal than "come up with," and "technologies" should be plural to encompass various types of technology.
"might be able to own technologies" -> "might develop their own technologies"
Explanation: "Develop" is more precise and formal than "own," which is not the correct verb in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of food imports. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating that the author believes the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The body paragraphs are well-structured, with the first paragraph dedicated to the disadvantages, such as the impact on local producers and potential health risks from low-quality imports. The second body paragraph focuses on the advantages, including market diversification and economic growth. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison between the advantages and disadvantages within the body paragraphs. For instance, directly contrasting the negative impact on local economies with the economic benefits of imports could provide a clearer picture of the trade-offs involved.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, consistently arguing that the advantages of food imports outweigh the disadvantages. This is evident in the concluding statement, which reiterates the author’s stance. However, the transition between discussing disadvantages and advantages could be smoother to reinforce this position more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transition phrases that explicitly link the disadvantages to the advantages, such as "While the negative impacts on local producers are significant, they are countered by the broader economic benefits." This would help to reinforce the author’s position more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to the topic, supported by specific examples. For instance, the mention of Vietnamese consumers preferring imported fruits illustrates the impact on local producers. Additionally, the discussion of economic growth and technology transfer provides a solid basis for the advantages of food imports. However, some points could be further developed to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the author could include more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the economic benefits of food imports. For instance, citing specific data on how imports have contributed to economic growth in a particular country or region would provide a stronger foundation for the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of food imports and their advantages and disadvantages. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, and the author effectively ties each point back to the central question. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments without introducing new ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author could enhance coherence by ensuring that each point made in the body paragraphs directly relates back to the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This could be achieved by explicitly stating how each point contributes to the overall argument, reinforcing the relevance of each idea to the thesis.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining a clear position and supporting ideas. With some minor adjustments to enhance clarity and depth, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first paragraph addressing the disadvantages of food imports and the second focusing on the advantages. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, which helps guide the reader through the argument. For instance, the transition from discussing local producers’ challenges to the broader economic benefits of food imports is smooth and logical.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could include more explicit linking phrases between the disadvantages and advantages. For example, after discussing the negative impacts on local producers, a transitional sentence could be added to indicate that despite these issues, the benefits are significant and merit discussion. This would create a clearer contrast between the two sides of the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity and readability. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument, which is a strength. The introduction and conclusion are distinct, framing the essay well. However, the body paragraphs could be further enhanced by ensuring that each one contains a clear concluding sentence that summarizes the main point before transitioning to the next idea.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should consider adding concluding sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. For instance, after discussing the disadvantages in the first body paragraph, a sentence summarizing how these disadvantages are significant but ultimately outweighed by the benefits could reinforce the

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "exponential growth," "culinary business," and "malefic influence." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases such as "imported food" and "local products," which appear multiple times without variation. This limits the overall lexical diversity and sophistication of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "imported food," alternatives like "foreign produce," "overseas goods," or "international food products" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs would enrich the descriptions and arguments.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "malefic influence" is awkward and not commonly used in this context; a more precise term like "negative impact" or "harmful effects" would be clearer. Additionally, the phrase "well censored" is misleading; "well regulated" or "properly inspected" would convey the intended meaning more accurately.
- How to improve: Writers should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects their intended meaning. Reviewing vocabulary in context and ensuring that terms are commonly accepted in academic writing can help. Utilizing resources like thesauruses or academic word lists can also aid in finding more suitable vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. However, the term "censored" in the context of food regulation is incorrect and should be replaced with "regulated." This kind of error can detract from the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and terms relevant to the topic. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also help identify errors before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for vocabulary use, there are clear areas for improvement that could elevate the score in Lexical Resource. By expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a solid command of various sentence structures. The writer effectively employs complex sentences, such as "While importing food offers certain drawbacks to countries, I believe that they are eclipsed by the merits." This sentence showcases a subordinate clause and a main clause, indicating a good grasp of complex sentence formation. Additionally, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps to structure the argument clearly. However, there are instances where the sentence variety could be enhanced. For example, the sentence "Another disadvantage is that not every imported food is well censored or legally brought into countries" could be rephrased to include more varied structures.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences (e.g., "If countries prioritize local products, they may boost their economies.") and use more varied introductory phrases. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "the most negatively affected group by importing food from other countries must be the local producers" is grammatically correct but could be more concisely expressed as "the local producers are the most negatively affected group by food imports." Punctuation is generally well-handled, though there are minor issues, such as the comma usage in "it means that buyers might purchase fake or low quality products," where a hyphen is needed in "low-quality" to correctly modify "products."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence conciseness and clarity. Reviewing the use of hyphens in compound adjectives and ensuring that commas are used appropriately in complex sentences will also help. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors can further elevate the overall quality of the writing.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, achieving a Band Score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The past several decades have seen an exponential growth in global trade, particularly in the culinary industry, which has witnessed a significant increase in food imports worldwide. While importing food offers certain drawbacks to countries, I believe that these are eclipsed by the merits.

On the one hand, the drawbacks of imported goods must be acknowledged. Certainly, the most significantly impacted group by the importation of food from other countries must be the local producers. Specifically, as the demand for imported food rises, fewer and fewer people are interested in local products, which leads to a decline in the local economy. For instance, many Vietnamese people believe that imported fruits are superior to native ones; therefore, affluent families tend to purchase fruits grown in foreign countries. Another disadvantage is that not all imported foods are properly regulated or legally imported. This means that buyers might purchase counterfeit or low-quality products, which can have a detrimental impact on people’s health.

On the other hand, the disadvantages of importing foreign food are outweighed by the benefits. By bringing food from abroad, the food market can diversify its sources and types of products, thereby meeting the needs of consumers. Consequently, this act of business undeniably contributes to the development of related countries, as it stimulates economic growth in each nation through the exchange of commodities. Additionally, enterprises have the opportunity to access modern food processing technologies; thus, they can learn from these advancements and might develop their own technologies. In particular, Vietnam could potentially develop technologies to cultivate fresh and high-quality fruit like Japan or to grow organic vegetables similar to those in Korea.