Today, many people do not know their neighbors. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In recent years, a large number of individuals have no information about their neighbors. This phenomenon creates negative impacts on society and I suppose that there are available solutions to tackle this problem.

To commence, this trend causes numerous detrimental consequences for all generations. The first main negative impact is that not knowing about neighbors can create a toxic isolated lifestyle. To be more specific, when people do not have a sense of belonging to a community, it can seriously impact on their mental well being. For example, in Covid 19 pandemic, in Viet Nam, all citizens have to obey the shelter order of the government, they are not permitted to commute on the road. If people do not know about their neighbor, maybe they can not communicate with anyone. Furthermore, in case of emergency, people can face a lot of risks as they have without the assistance of neighbors. For instance, living in a high-crime area, not knowing neighbors can make people more vulnerable to criminal targeting, while strong neighborly relationships enable mutual vigilance and prompt reporting of suspicious activity to the police.

However, there are several solutions to address this phenomenon. First and foremost, to build a strong neighborly relationship, people can make some plans for a ceremony to celebrate these special events together. Gathering provides opportunities to strengthen social connections, which can be particularly crucial in urban areas where neighbors may not know each other well. Moreover, the government and local authorities can enact new regulations or launch campaigns on social media to encourage inhabitants to have some meetings to discuss the development of regional security. Thanks to this time, people can make contributions together for their living area and know each other.

In conclusion, the way people live today leads to less interaction with one’s neighbors and this phenomenon can be mitigated with more community events. If nothing is done, society will only become more fractured and alienating.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"a large number of individuals have no information about their neighbors" -> "a significant portion of individuals lack information about their neighbors"
Explanation: "Large number" is somewhat vague and lacks precision. "Significant portion" provides a more specific description, aligning better with formal language.
"creates negative impacts on society" -> "has detrimental effects on society"
Explanation: "Creates negative impacts" is somewhat redundant and informal. "Has detrimental effects" maintains formality and conciseness.
"I suppose that there are available solutions" -> "I contend that viable solutions exist"
Explanation: "I suppose" is somewhat uncertain and colloquial. "I contend that" asserts the argument more confidently. "Available" is redundant here. "Viable solutions" implies that solutions are not only present but also effective.
"To commence" -> "To begin with"
Explanation: "To commence" is less common in academic writing and sounds somewhat archaic. "To begin with" is a more straightforward and contemporary alternative.
"numerous detrimental consequences" -> "a myriad of adverse consequences"
Explanation: "Numerous detrimental consequences" can be expressed more vividly as "a myriad of adverse consequences," adding richness to the language while maintaining formality.
"create a toxic isolated lifestyle" -> "lead to a socially isolated existence"
Explanation: "Create a toxic isolated lifestyle" is a bit informal and overly dramatic. "Lead to a socially isolated existence" maintains formality while expressing the same idea more succinctly.
"impact on their mental well being" -> "affect their mental well-being"
Explanation: "Impact on" can be replaced with "affect" for more concise and formal language.
"maybe they can not communicate with anyone" -> "they may be unable to communicate with anyone"
Explanation: "Maybe" is too informal for academic writing. "May be unable to" is a more formal expression of uncertainty.
"Furthermore" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is slightly less formal than "Moreover" in academic writing.
"in case of emergency" -> "in the event of an emergency"
Explanation: "In case of emergency" is a more casual phrase compared to "in the event of an emergency," which is more formal and precise.
"face a lot of risks" -> "be exposed to numerous risks"
Explanation: "Face a lot of risks" is informal. "Be exposed to numerous risks" is more formal and precise.
"strong neighborly relationships enable mutual vigilance" -> "robust neighborly relationships facilitate mutual vigilance"
Explanation: "Strong neighborly relationships" can be enhanced to "robust neighborly relationships" for a more sophisticated tone.
"prompt reporting of suspicious activity to the police" -> "swift reporting of suspicious activity to the police"
Explanation: "Prompt" can be replaced with "swift" for a slightly more formal tone.
"First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is slightly informal. "Primarily" is a more concise and formal alternative.
"build a strong neighborly relationship" -> "foster strong neighborly relationships"
Explanation: "Build" can be replaced with "foster" for a more active and formal tone.
"to make some plans for a ceremony" -> "to organize communal events"
Explanation: "Make some plans for a ceremony" is vague and informal. "Organize communal events" is more precise and formal.
"have some meetings to discuss" -> "hold meetings to discuss"
Explanation: "Have some meetings" can be replaced with "hold meetings" for a more formal expression.
"Thanks to this time" -> "During these occasions"
Explanation: "Thanks to this time" is somewhat informal. "During these occasions" maintains formality and clarity.
"contribute together for their living area" -> "collaborate for the betterment of their residential area"
Explanation: "Contribute together for their living area" can be rephrased more formally as "collaborate for the betterment of their residential area."
"leads to less interaction with one’s neighbors" -> "results in decreased interaction with one’s neighbors"
Explanation: "Leads to less" can be replaced with "results in decreased" for a more formal and precise expression.
"more fractured and alienating" -> "increasingly fragmented and isolating"
Explanation: "Fractured and alienating" is somewhat informal. "Increasingly fragmented and isolating" maintains formality and enhances specificity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the question. It identifies the problems caused by not knowing neighbors, such as the potential for isolation and increased vulnerability, and proposes solutions, including community gatherings and government initiatives.
- How to improve: While the essay does cover all aspects of the prompt, providing more specific examples or statistics could enhance the depth of analysis. Additionally, expanding on the potential consequences of not knowing neighbors beyond mental well-being and emergency situations would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, arguing that not knowing neighbors has negative impacts and suggesting solutions to foster community connections.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that each body paragraph directly supports the main position would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, providing examples and explanations to support its points. For instance, it discusses the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on neighborly interactions and proposes specific actions to foster community relationships.
- How to improve: To extend ideas further, the writer could delve deeper into the potential benefits of knowing neighbors beyond security concerns, such as increased social support networks and a greater sense of belonging. Additionally, varying the types of evidence used, such as incorporating personal anecdotes or expert opinions, would enrich the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing the problems caused by not knowing neighbors and suggesting ways to address this issue. However, there are some minor tangential points, such as the reference to the COVID-19 pandemic in Vietnam.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and explanations directly relate to the main topic of neighborly interactions. Avoiding tangential discussions will help strengthen the coherence of the essay.

Overall, this essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear analysis of the problems associated with not knowing neighbors and offering feasible solutions. To improve, the writer should aim for greater depth of analysis, coherence, and relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 9

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization. Each paragraph is clearly focused on either discussing the problems arising from not knowing one’s neighbors or proposing solutions to address this issue. The introduction provides a succinct overview of the essay’s direction, followed by well-developed body paragraphs that elaborate on the problems and solutions in a logical sequence. For instance, the essay first discusses the negative impacts of not knowing neighbors, then transitions smoothly to proposing solutions in the subsequent paragraphs.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is strong overall, there could be further enhancement by ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases or sentences could help to guide the reader more seamlessly from one idea to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure its content, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. There is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, each comprising coherent and well-developed paragraphs. The paragraphs are of appropriate length, aiding readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraph structure, consider ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus on its main point can enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and facilitate coherence. Examples include the use of pronouns (e.g., "this trend," "these special events") to reference previously mentioned concepts, conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore," "however") to indicate logical relationships between ideas, and transitional phrases (e.g., "To commence," "In conclusion") to signal shifts in the essay’s structure.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are adequately utilized, diversifying the range of cohesive devices used could enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Incorporating a variety of cohesive devices such as synonyms, parallel structures, and discourse markers can enrich the essay’s coherence and cohesion, providing clearer connections between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information, utilizing paragraphs, and employing cohesive devices to enhance clarity and logical progression. Further refinement in transitional phrases and diversification of cohesive devices could elevate the coherence and cohesion to an even higher level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, incorporating a variety of terms effectively throughout the text. For instance, phrases like "toxic isolated lifestyle," "sense of belonging," "mutual vigilance," and "fractured and alienating" exhibit a sophisticated lexical range. Additionally, the writer employs diverse vocabulary related to the essay’s themes of social interaction, community engagement, and societal impact.
- How to improve: While the essay generally excels in using a wide range of vocabulary, there is still room for enhancement by incorporating more nuanced or context-specific terminology. For example, instead of using "development of regional security," the writer could employ more precise terms like "neighborhood safety initiatives" or "community policing efforts" to add depth to the discussion and further showcase lexical resourcefulness.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. Instances of precise vocabulary usage include phrases like "toxic isolated lifestyle," which accurately encapsulate the concept of social detachment, and "mutual vigilance," which succinctly describes the collaborative aspect of community safety. However, there are occasional instances of less precise vocabulary, such as the phrase "special events" in the context of community gatherings. While not incorrect, a more specific term like "neighborhood festivities" or "communal celebrations" could enhance clarity and richness of expression.
- How to improve: To further refine precision in vocabulary usage, it would be beneficial for the writer to carefully select terms that precisely convey intended meanings. Consulting a thesaurus or conducting additional research on specific topic-related terminology can aid in expanding the repertoire of precise vocabulary choices.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with minimal errors observed throughout the text. Words are generally spelled correctly, contributing to the overall readability and professionalism of the writing. Notable examples of correct spelling include "phenomenon," "assistance," "contributions," and "alienating."
- How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, the writer may consider implementing strategies such as proofreading meticulously before submission, utilizing spell-check tools, and actively reviewing commonly misspelled words. Additionally, developing a habit of revising written work with a focus on spelling accuracy can further solidify proficiency in this aspect.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex, compound, and simple sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "To commence, this trend causes numerous detrimental consequences for all generations" showcases the ability to construct sentences with multiple clauses, enhancing the coherence and sophistication of the essay. Additionally, the inclusion of compound sentences like "However, there are several solutions to address this phenomenon" contributes to the fluency and organization of ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay already exhibits a strong command of diverse sentence structures, further enriching it with occasional use of rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion can elevate the writing to an even higher level of sophistication. Introducing more varied sentence beginnings and lengths can also enhance the overall rhythm and flow of the essay, captivating the reader’s attention.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy throughout, with few errors detracting from overall comprehension. For instance, phrases like "To commence" and "Thanks to this time" demonstrate a solid grasp of appropriate transitional phrases. Moreover, complex grammatical structures such as conditional sentences ("If people do not know about their neighbor, maybe they cannot communicate with anyone") are executed effectively, showcasing proficiency in syntactical construction.
- How to improve: While the essay exhibits commendable grammatical accuracy, occasional errors in subject-verb agreement ("…a large number of individuals have no information about their neighbors") and article usage ("…thanks to this time, people can make contributions together for their living area") are present. Revising these instances for conciseness and precision can further refine the essay’s clarity and coherence. Additionally, paying closer attention to punctuation, particularly in compound and complex sentences, can enhance readability and ensure the seamless conveyance of ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an exceptional command of grammatical range and accuracy, earning a final band score of 9. Strengthening the already proficient use of diverse sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will further elevate the essay’s ultimate quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, a significant portion of individuals lack information about their neighbors, which has detrimental effects on society. I contend that viable solutions exist to address this issue.

To begin with, this trend leads to a myriad of adverse consequences for all age groups. Primarily, not knowing one’s neighbors can lead to a socially isolated existence. For instance, during the Covid-19 pandemic in Vietnam, citizens were required to adhere to government shelter orders, limiting their ability to interact with others. If individuals are unfamiliar with their neighbors, they may be unable to communicate with anyone, especially during times of crisis. Moreover, in the event of an emergency, such as living in a high-crime area, being unaware of one’s neighbors can expose people to numerous risks. In contrast, robust neighborly relationships facilitate mutual vigilance and the swift reporting of suspicious activity to the police.

However, viable solutions exist to address this phenomenon. Primarily, fostering strong neighborly relationships is key. One approach is to organize communal events, such as ceremonies to celebrate special occasions together. These gatherings provide opportunities to strengthen social connections, particularly crucial in urban areas where neighbors may not know each other well. Moreover, the government and local authorities can play a role by enacting new regulations or launching campaigns on social media to encourage inhabitants to hold meetings to discuss regional security and collaborate for the betterment of their residential area.

In conclusion, the lack of interaction with neighbors results in decreased social cohesion and an increasingly fragmented and isolating society. However, this phenomenon can be mitigated through initiatives that promote community engagement and neighborly relationships. If no action is taken, society will continue to become more fractured and alienating.