Today more and more people want things instantly (eg. goods, services, news) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

There has been a trend that many people want to get things done instantly day by day. In my opinion, this situation represents a negative development and this essay will discuss some points which state's why this is a negative aspect in upcoming paragraphs.
One advatage of quick buying and selling helps satisfy individual needs. People do not need to spend time and effort going to stores to buy essentials and can use that time for more important tasks. Instead, they can shop on e-commerce platforms, which only require browsing on their phones, and the goods will be delivered right to their homes. For example, current statistics show that there are millions of people in Vietnam using and shopping online on Tiki, Lazada, and Shoppee. Not only can they purchase items quickly, but these e-commerce platforms also offer numerous discount codes and promotional items, making it easy for customers to choose. In addition, online shopping also partly affirms the development of new technology, thereby legitimizing the growth of the digital economy across the region.
However, I believe there are stronger drawbacks to shopping quickly that many peole satisfied their want quickly as it reduce the patience level. To elaborate on, when individuals not get their products and services instantly, they loose their temper and become furious. As a result, they fail to get restrain on themselves because of lack of patience. For example, nowadays, online delivery system widely spread in whole world as they delivery every necessary things to individuals home but if they get late, individuals gets angry and starts abuse to delivery person because instant satisfaction do not take place. Besides, when individuals get things rather quick, they value and satisfaction level also get decline rapidly. In other words, people only value those thing where the put them effects and it provided long-term satisfaction; however, these things taht individuals get early, it does not provide long-term satisfaction to individuals and they always keep looking for new things. As a result, they become depressed because nothing satisfied their desire and fail to concentrate on one particular things.
In conclusion, I firmly opine that the above-mentioned situation undoutedly does harm to individuals and the entire world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There has been a trend that many people want to get things done instantly day by day." -> "There is a growing trend among many individuals to achieve instant results daily."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and informal. The revised version is more concise and uses more formal vocabulary suitable for academic writing.
"this situation represents a negative development" -> "this trend signifies a negative development"
Explanation: "Signifies" is more precise and academically appropriate than "represents," which is somewhat vague in this context.
"state’s why" -> "states why"
Explanation: "States why" is the correct grammatical structure for introducing a reason.
"quick buying and selling helps satisfy individual needs" -> "quick purchasing and selling facilitates meeting individual needs"
Explanation: "Facilitates meeting" is more precise and formal than "helps satisfy," and "individual needs" is more specific than "individual needs."
"People do not need to spend time and effort going to stores" -> "Individuals do not need to allocate time and effort to visit stores"
Explanation: "Allocate" is more formal than "spend," and "visit" is more precise than "going to."
"can shop on e-commerce platforms" -> "can shop through e-commerce platforms"
Explanation: "Through" is more appropriate in this context than "on," which is less commonly used with e-commerce platforms.
"current statistics show that there are millions of people in Vietnam using and shopping online" -> "current statistics indicate that millions of Vietnamese citizens engage in online shopping"
Explanation: "Indicate" is more formal than "show," and "engage in" is more precise than "using and shopping."
"Not only can they purchase items quickly, but these e-commerce platforms also offer numerous discount codes and promotional items" -> "Not only do they quickly purchase items, but these e-commerce platforms also provide numerous discount codes and promotional items"
Explanation: "Do" is more formal than "can," and "provide" is more precise than "offer" in this context.
"partly affirms the development of new technology" -> "partially validates the development of new technology"
Explanation: "Validates" is more academically appropriate than "affirms," and "partially" is more precise than "partly."
"many peole satisfied their want quickly" -> "many people quickly satisfy their desires"
Explanation: "People" should be spelled correctly, and "satisfy their desires" is more formal and precise than "satisfied their want."
"they loose their temper and become furious" -> "they lose their temper and become enraged"
Explanation: "Lose" is the correct spelling, and "enraged" is more formal than "furious."
"they fail to get restrain on themselves" -> "they fail to restrain themselves"
Explanation: "Restrain" should not be "get restrain," and "themselves" is the correct reflexive pronoun.
"online delivery system widely spread in whole world" -> "online delivery system is widespread globally"
Explanation: "Is widespread globally" is more formal and precise than "widely spread in whole world."
"they delivery every necessary things to individuals home" -> "they deliver all necessary items to individuals’ homes"
Explanation: "Deliver" should be "deliver," and "items" is more specific than "things," and "homes" should be possessive to match "individuals’."
"individuals gets angry and starts abuse to delivery person" -> "individuals become angry and abuse the delivery personnel"
Explanation: "Become" is more formal than "gets," and "abuse the delivery personnel" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"instant satisfaction do not take place" -> "instant satisfaction does not occur"
Explanation: "Does not occur" is grammatically correct and more formal than "do not take place."
"they value and satisfaction level also get decline rapidly" -> "their value and satisfaction levels also decline rapidly"
Explanation: "Their value and satisfaction levels" is grammatically correct and more formal than "they value and satisfaction level."
"these things taht individuals get early" -> "these items that individuals obtain early"
Explanation: "Items" is more specific than "things," and "obtain" is more formal than "get."
"it does not provide long-term satisfaction to individuals" -> "it does not provide long-term satisfaction for individuals"
Explanation: "For" is more appropriate than "to" in this context, indicating the purpose of the satisfaction.
"they become depressed because nothing satisfied their desire" -> "they become depressed as nothing satisfies their desires"
Explanation: "As" is more formal than "because," and "satisfies" should be in the present tense to match the ongoing action.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing why people desire instant gratification and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. The author provides reasons for the negative aspects of instant gratification, such as reduced patience and declining satisfaction levels. However, the explanation of why this trend is occurring is somewhat underdeveloped. The mention of e-commerce as a convenience is relevant but lacks depth in exploring the broader societal or psychological factors driving this desire for immediacy.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should delve deeper into the reasons behind the trend. This could include discussing societal changes, technological advancements, or cultural shifts that contribute to the desire for instant gratification. Providing more varied examples and a more comprehensive analysis would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that instant gratification is a negative development. This stance is articulated in the introduction and reinforced throughout the body paragraphs. However, the transition between discussing the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift to drawbacks feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author could use transitional phrases to better guide the reader through the argument. For example, explicitly stating that while there are some benefits to instant gratification, the negative consequences outweigh these benefits would help maintain a consistent position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the negative impacts of instant gratification, such as decreased patience and declining satisfaction. However, some points are not fully developed or supported with sufficient evidence. For instance, the claim that people become angry when deliveries are late is valid but could be strengthened with more concrete examples or statistics.
- How to improve: The author should aim to elaborate on each point made, providing more detailed explanations and examples. Incorporating research or studies on consumer behavior and psychology could lend credibility to the arguments. Additionally, ensuring that each idea is clearly linked back to the main thesis will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the desire for instant gratification and its implications. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly convoluted, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the connection between quick satisfaction and depression is not clearly articulated.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point directly relates back to the main argument. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all ideas are relevant and contribute to the overall thesis. Additionally, avoiding overly complex sentences can help clarify the argument and keep the reader engaged.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, there are areas for improvement in depth, clarity, and coherence. By addressing these aspects, the author can enhance the overall effectiveness of their argument and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance on the topic. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the advantages of instant gratification before transitioning to the drawbacks. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of e-commerce to the negative impacts lacks a clear linking statement, which can confuse readers about the relationship between the two points.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should use transitional phrases that clearly indicate a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," when moving from advantages to disadvantages. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes its main idea will help guide the reader through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific points. However, the second body paragraph is overly long and contains multiple ideas that could be better organized into separate paragraphs. This can overwhelm the reader and dilute the impact of each point made.
- How to improve: The writer should consider breaking the second body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the emotional response to delayed gratification and the other on the long-term effects of instant satisfaction. This will allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for example," and "in addition," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "as a result" is used, but it could be supplemented with additional linking words to clarify the relationship between ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," and "consequently." Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help to create a more cohesive flow. For instance, instead of repeating "individuals," the writer could use "they" or "these people" to maintain coherence without redundancy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, implementing these suggestions will help elevate the writing to a higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "e-commerce platforms," "discount codes," and "digital economy" indicating some level of lexical variety. However, the range is somewhat limited, particularly in the second half of the essay, where repetitive phrases such as "get things done instantly" and "individuals get angry" detract from the overall lexical richness. The use of phrases like "stronger drawbacks" and "quick buying and selling" shows an attempt to vary vocabulary, but the overall effect is diminished by the lack of synonyms or alternative expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "get things done instantly," alternatives like "obtain immediate results" or "achieve rapid fulfillment" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to consumer behavior or psychological impacts could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage that can confuse the reader. For example, the phrase "stronger drawbacks" is somewhat vague and could be more clearly articulated as "more significant disadvantages." Additionally, the phrase "individuals gets angry and starts abuse to delivery person" contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that detracts from clarity. The term "advatage" is a misspelling of "advantage," which also affects precision.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. Revising phrases for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning will enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay. For example, instead of saying "starts abuse to delivery person," a more precise expression would be "may verbally abuse the delivery person."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "advatage," "peole," "loose" (should be "lose"), "restrain" (should be "restraint"), and "undoutedly" (should be "undoubtedly"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings of the intended message.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging with vocabulary-building exercises that emphasize correct spelling will also support improvement in this area.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary usage, there is significant room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence uses a complex structure: "There has been a trend that many people want to get things done instantly day by day." However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure, particularly in the second paragraph where several sentences begin with "People" or "Individuals." This repetition can make the writing feel monotonous and less engaging.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with the subject, the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In today’s fast-paced world," or "Due to the rise of technology," to create a more dynamic flow. Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can also add variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, in the phrase "this situation represents a negative development and this essay will discuss some points which state’s why this is a negative aspect," the word "state’s" should be "states," and a comma is needed before "and" to separate the two independent clauses. Furthermore, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "individuals not get their products," which should be "individuals do not get their products." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of conjunctions, also detract from the overall readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review basic grammar rules, particularly focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses. Practicing sentence construction and proofreading for common errors can also be beneficial. Additionally, using punctuation marks correctly, such as commas to separate clauses and items in a list, will enhance clarity. The writer could benefit from reading their essay aloud to catch errors and ensure that sentences flow logically.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, addressing the issues identified in grammatical range and accuracy will significantly improve the quality of the writing. Regular practice and revision, along with seeking feedback, can help the writer achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

There has been a growing trend among many people to achieve instant results daily. In my opinion, this trend signifies a negative development, and this essay will discuss several points that state why this is a concerning aspect in the upcoming paragraphs.

One advantage of quick purchasing and selling is that it helps satisfy individual needs. People do not need to allocate time and effort to visit stores to buy essentials and can instead use that time for more important tasks. They can shop through e-commerce platforms, which only require browsing on their phones, and the goods will be delivered right to their homes. For example, current statistics indicate that millions of Vietnamese citizens engage in online shopping on platforms like Tiki, Lazada, and Shopee. Not only do they quickly purchase items, but these e-commerce platforms also provide numerous discount codes and promotional items, making it easy for customers to choose. In addition, online shopping partially validates the development of new technology, thereby legitimizing the growth of the digital economy across the region.

However, I believe there are stronger drawbacks to shopping quickly, as many people quickly satisfy their desires, which reduces their patience levels. To elaborate, when individuals do not receive their products and services instantly, they lose their temper and become enraged. As a result, they fail to restrain themselves due to a lack of patience. For example, nowadays, the online delivery system is widespread globally, delivering all necessary items to individuals’ homes. However, if deliveries are late, individuals become angry and may even abuse the delivery personnel because instant satisfaction does not occur. Furthermore, when individuals obtain items quickly, their value and satisfaction levels also decline rapidly. In other words, people only value those things that require effort and provide long-term satisfaction; however, the items that individuals acquire early do not offer lasting contentment, leading them to constantly seek new things. As a result, they may become depressed, as nothing satisfies their desires, and they fail to concentrate on one particular thing.

In conclusion, I firmly opine that the aforementioned situation undoubtedly harms individuals and the entire world.