Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Nowadays, people have more chances to travel and experience new things. Beside tourists traveling to places which have beautiful scenery for holidays, there is a group of individuals who choose to visit places having harsh conditions such as the Sahara. In this essay, I will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of the statement.

On one hand, the trip to those places help people enhance their knowledge and create unforgettable experience. By traveling to those destinations which are just seen on TV or through books, tourists will not only understand more about the climates and difficulties there but also have a chance to verify the information given by scientists about the places. That trip will definitely be an interesting and unique story for themselves, which they never be able to forget. More over, this trend can provide local residents job opportunities, for example running a hotel or providing services for the tourists. Therefore, it helps improve living standard and plays a role as a contributing push factor for the development of the country's economy.

However, the trend also brings about some disadvantages. One case in point is that individuals who have a desire to visit places with extreme conditions might pay a large amount of money. Those destinations usually contain lots of dangers, thus tourists who want to go there need suitable equipment and a professional tour guide who must have skills to deal with problems happening during the trip. For example, visiting the Sahara, which has extremely high temperature, requires enough water and also knowledge to prevent heat shock etc. while travel companies providing good services for these trips are not very common, the amount of money tourists have to pay is much higher than usual tourist attractions.

In conclusion, visiting places with harsh conditions have both advantages and disadvantages. Hence, individuals who wish to go there must consider all the risks and do good preparations before deciding to take the trip.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Nowadays" -> "In contemporary times"
Explanation: Replacing "Nowadays" with "In contemporary times" adds a formal touch and aligns with academic writing standards.
"Beside tourists" -> "In addition to tourists"
Explanation: Substituting "Beside tourists" with "In addition to tourists" maintains a formal tone and provides a smoother transition between ideas.
"places which have beautiful scenery for holidays" -> "destinations renowned for scenic beauty"
Explanation: Changing "places which have beautiful scenery for holidays" to "destinations renowned for scenic beauty" elevates the language and offers a more sophisticated description.
"have a chance to verify the information given by scientists" -> "verify scientific information"
Explanation: Simplifying "have a chance to verify the information given by scientists" to "verify scientific information" maintains clarity while eliminating unnecessary wording.
"that trip will definitely be an interesting and unique story for themselves" -> "such journeys will undoubtedly become captivating and distinctive narratives for them"
Explanation: Replacing "that trip will definitely be an interesting and unique story for themselves" with "such journeys will undoubtedly become captivating and distinctive narratives for them" enhances the formality and expressiveness of the sentence.
"More over" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: Correcting "More over" to "Moreover" ensures proper spelling and maintains the flow of the sentence.
"provide local residents job opportunities" -> "create employment opportunities for local residents"
Explanation: Substituting "provide local residents job opportunities" with "create employment opportunities for local residents" offers a more formal and precise expression.
"running a hotel or providing services for the tourists" -> "operating a hotel or offering services to tourists"
Explanation: Changing "running a hotel or providing services for the tourists" to "operating a hotel or offering services to tourists" enhances clarity and formality.
"helps improve living standard" -> "contributes to the improvement of living standards"
Explanation: Replacing "helps improve living standard" with "contributes to the improvement of living standards" provides a more formal and academically appropriate phrasing.
"plays a role as a contributing push factor" -> "serves as a contributing catalyst"
Explanation: Substituting "plays a role as a contributing push factor" with "serves as a contributing catalyst" adds sophistication and maintains the formal tone.
"the trend also brings about some disadvantages" -> "however, the trend also entails certain drawbacks"
Explanation: Changing "the trend also brings about some disadvantages" to "however, the trend also entails certain drawbacks" introduces a more formal and nuanced expression.
"one case in point is that individuals" -> "a notable example is that individuals"
Explanation: Substituting "one case in point is that individuals" with "a notable example is that individuals" enhances formality and precision.
"pay a large amount of money" -> "incur significant expenses"
Explanation: Replacing "pay a large amount of money" with "incur significant expenses" introduces a more formal and specific term.
"tourists who want to go there need suitable equipment" -> "tourists intending to visit require appropriate equipment"
Explanation: Changing "tourists who want to go there need suitable equipment" to "tourists intending to visit require appropriate equipment" improves clarity and formality.
"while travel companies providing good services" -> "as travel companies offering quality services"
Explanation: Substituting "while travel companies providing good services" with "as travel companies offering quality services" maintains a formal tone and clarifies the relationship between ideas.
"are not very common" -> "are relatively scarce"
Explanation: Replacing "are not very common" with "are relatively scarce" adds precision and formality to the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Quoted text: "Beside tourists traveling to places which have beautiful scenery for holidays, there is a group of individuals who choose to visit places having harsh conditions such as the Sahara. In this essay, I will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of the statement."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction is somewhat unclear in presenting the writer’s stance on the topic. While it mentions discussing both benefits and drawbacks, it could be more explicit in stating the writer’s position. A clearer and more concise expression of the main points to be discussed could improve the introduction’s effectiveness.
- Improved example: "In contemporary times, the allure of travel extends beyond picturesque holiday destinations to challenging environments like the Sahara. This essay aims to explore the merits and drawbacks of such adventurous journeys."
Quoted text: "That trip will definitely be an interesting and unique story for themselves, which they never be able to forget. More over, this trend can provide local residents job opportunities, for example running a hotel or providing services for the tourists. Therefore, it helps improve living standard and plays a role as a contributing push factor for the development of the country’s economy."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The idea is expressed, but it lacks depth and specific examples to support the claim. The explanation of how visiting challenging places contributes to local job opportunities and economic development is somewhat vague. Including concrete examples and elaborating on the economic impact would strengthen this argument.
- Improved example: "Such journeys not only create indelible memories but also foster economic growth in local communities. For instance, the establishment of hotels and tourist services generates employment, thereby elevating living standards. This influx of tourism can serve as a catalyst for broader economic development."
Quoted text: "Those destinations usually contain lots of dangers, thus tourists who want to go there need suitable equipment and a professional tour guide who must have skills to deal with problems happening during the trip. For example, visiting the Sahara, which has extremely high temperature, requires enough water and also knowledge to prevent heat shock etc. while travel companies providing good services for these trips are not very common, the amount of money tourists have to pay is much higher than usual tourist attractions."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph touches on the dangers of visiting extreme destinations, but it lacks specificity and detailed examples. Providing concrete instances of the required equipment, potential dangers, and the role of a professional tour guide would strengthen the argument. Additionally, offering a more nuanced discussion on the cost factor and potential solutions could enhance the overall analysis.
- Improved example: "Destinations like the Sahara demand meticulous preparation, including adequate water supply and measures to prevent heat-related issues. Professional tour guides equipped with skills to address potential problems become imperative in such environments. For instance, investing in quality gear and knowledgeable guides ensures a safer and more fulfilling experience for tourists. Although these services might incur higher costs, exploring innovative cost-effective solutions could make these journeys more accessible to a broader audience."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas with a clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the stage by introducing the trend of visiting harsh conditions. Each paragraph is focused on either the benefits or drawbacks, maintaining a clear central topic. The cohesive devices are used appropriately, contributing to the overall coherence. The essay also effectively uses referencing and substitution, enhancing the flow of ideas.

How to improve:
To move to a higher band, the essay could further improve by ensuring a more varied and precise use of cohesive devices. While there is clear progression within paragraphs, strengthening the overall essay structure by refining paragraphing could enhance coherence. Additionally, a more extensive vocabulary and a nuanced expression of ideas could contribute to a more sophisticated presentation, potentially pushing the essay towards a Band 8.0.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of visiting harsh condition places like the Sahara. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but with some inaccuracies and a few errors in word choice and collocation. Additionally, some errors in spelling and word formation occur but do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary with more precision. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to convey ideas more accurately. Review spelling and word formation to reduce errors and ensure a smoother reading experience. Expanding the range of less common vocabulary used could strengthen the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a fairly good command of grammar and punctuation. There is a variety of sentence structures employed throughout the essay, showcasing a mix of simple and complex sentences. The majority of the sentences are error-free, and the writer exhibits control over grammar and punctuation. However, there are occasional errors and inaccuracies in sentence construction that slightly affect the overall fluency and precision of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance the score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria to a higher band, focus on refining complex sentence structures further and pay close attention to sentence construction for precision and accuracy. Proofreading the essay to correct minor errors in grammar and punctuation would also be beneficial. Additionally, utilizing a wider range of sophisticated grammatical structures with more precision can contribute to a more polished and accurate piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, individuals have increased opportunities to explore new destinations. In addition to tourists visiting renowned scenic beauty spots for holidays, there is a growing number of people opting to travel to challenging locations, such as the Sahara. In this essay, I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

On one hand, journeys to such places contribute significantly to broadening people’s knowledge and creating unforgettable experiences. Exploring destinations that are typically only seen on screens or read about in books allows tourists to gain a deeper understanding of the climates and challenges these places pose. It also offers them the chance to verify scientific information provided about these locations. Such journeys will undoubtedly become captivating and distinctive narratives for them, stories they will cherish and share. Moreover, this trend creates employment opportunities for local residents, with possibilities such as operating a hotel or offering services to tourists. This, in turn, contributes to the improvement of living standards and serves as a contributing catalyst for the economic development of the country.

However, the trend also entails certain drawbacks. A notable example is that individuals with a desire to visit places with extreme conditions may incur significant expenses. These destinations often come with inherent dangers, requiring tourists to invest in appropriate equipment and hire professional tour guides with the necessary skills to address problems that may arise during the trip. For instance, a journey to the Sahara, known for its extremely high temperatures, necessitates sufficient water and knowledge to prevent heat-related issues. Unfortunately, as travel companies offering quality services for such trips are relatively scarce, the expenses for tourists intending to visit are much higher compared to those of typical tourist attractions.

In conclusion, visiting places with harsh conditions presents both advantages and disadvantages. Individuals contemplating such journeys must carefully weigh the risks involved and make thorough preparations before deciding to embark on the trip.