fbpx

Today, more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for travelers?

Today, more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for travelers?

It is an undeniable fact that people like to visit scenic vacation spots every year. Today, more people are traveling all around the world. In my essay, I will explain the reasons, and the advantages of being a traveller.
To begin with, everyone likes to get away from their work environment, and fast-paced life to see a beautiful place. It helps them relax, and get back to their work environment with more enthusiasm. Also, the kids will have a good memory of their childhood life and tend to do the same when they become parents. Not only do children enjoy it, but it is also the chance for them to visit their loved ones living far apart. For Instance, I like to pay a visit to see my grandmother, and cousins at least twice a year. It is the best memory I have to date, and I reminiscence of those days even after several years.
In addition, today many leave their profession and become a traveller. The primary reason is the growth of the digital medium, where visitors can do a video blog and upload it to YouTube. The crowds watch such videos since they have an interest in seeing a unique location. For Example, an individual can earn thousands of dollars per month. Though it might not seem like a steady profession, it makes the folks follow their passion.
To conclude, it is better to clear everyone's head by visiting unique vacation spots and enjoying the recollection of past events. Also, it helps the public to become travellers and earn through it.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "people like to visit scenic vacation spots every year" -> "individuals are inclined to visit picturesque vacation destinations annually"
    Explanation: Replacing "people like to visit scenic vacation spots every year" with "individuals are inclined to visit picturesque vacation destinations annually" adds formality to the statement and employs more sophisticated vocabulary.

  2. "In my essay, I will explain the reasons, and the advantages of being a traveller." -> "In this essay, I will elucidate the reasons and benefits of being a traveler."
    Explanation: Changing "In my essay, I will explain the reasons, and the advantages of being a traveller" to "In this essay, I will elucidate the reasons and benefits of being a traveler" enhances the academic tone by using "elucidate" instead of "explain" and by refining the phrasing.

  3. "To begin with, everyone likes to get away from their work environment, and fast-paced life to see a beautiful place." -> "Firstly, individuals seek respite from their work environments and hectic lifestyles by visiting aesthetically pleasing destinations."
    Explanation: Transforming "To begin with, everyone likes to get away from their work environment, and fast-paced life to see a beautiful place" into "Firstly, individuals seek respite from their work environments and hectic lifestyles by visiting aesthetically pleasing destinations" maintains the flow while introducing more formal language and structure.

  4. "For Instance, I like to pay a visit to see my grandmother, and cousins at least twice a year." -> "For example, I regularly visit my grandmother and cousins at least twice a year."
    Explanation: Changing "For Instance, I like to pay a visit to see my grandmother, and cousins at least twice a year" to "For example, I regularly visit my grandmother and cousins at least twice a year" improves clarity and formality by using "For example" and streamlining the expression.

  5. "it is the best memory I have to date, and I reminiscence of those days even after several years." -> "it remains one of my most cherished memories, and I reminisce about those days even after several years."
    Explanation: Replacing "it is the best memory I have to date, and I reminiscence of those days even after several years" with "it remains one of my most cherished memories, and I reminisce about those days even after several years" enhances the eloquence and appropriateness of the language.

  6. "today many leave their profession and become a traveller." -> "In contemporary times, numerous individuals abandon their professions to embrace a nomadic lifestyle."
    Explanation: Changing "today many leave their profession and become a traveller" to "In contemporary times, numerous individuals abandon their professions to embrace a nomadic lifestyle" introduces a more formal and precise expression of the idea.

  7. "where visitors can do a video blog and upload it to YouTube." -> "where individuals can create video blogs and upload them to YouTube."
    Explanation: Replacing "where visitors can do a video blog and upload it to YouTube" with "where individuals can create video blogs and upload them to YouTube" improves precision and formality by using "create" instead of "do."

  8. "For Example, an individual can earn thousands of dollars per month." -> "For instance, an individual has the potential to earn thousands of dollars per month."
    Explanation: Changing "For Example, an individual can earn thousands of dollars per month" to "For instance, an individual has the potential to earn thousands of dollars per month" provides a more nuanced and formal expression of the idea.

  9. "it is better to clear everyone’s head by visiting unique vacation spots" -> "it is beneficial to refresh one’s mind by visiting distinctive vacation spots"
    Explanation: Replacing "it is better to clear everyone’s head by visiting unique vacation spots" with "it is beneficial to refresh one’s mind by visiting distinctive vacation spots" maintains the meaning while using more sophisticated language.

  10. "enjoying the recollection of past events" -> "reveling in the recollection of past experiences"
    Explanation: Changing "enjoying the recollection of past events" to "reveling in the recollection of past experiences" introduces a more refined term and enhances the formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the question. It outlines reasons for the increasing trend of travel and discusses the benefits for travelers, providing personal examples and general observations.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers the key elements, encouraging a more in-depth exploration of each point could enhance the overall response. This might involve delving into specific aspects of why people travel and elaborating on the benefits in more detail.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, expressing the view that traveling is beneficial for individuals, both for personal enjoyment and as a potential profession.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the main argument in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion. This helps readers follow the essay’s central theme more easily.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas are presented but lack depth. For example, the notion of people leaving their professions to become travelers is briefly mentioned but could benefit from more elaboration and supporting details.
    • How to improve: To enhance idea development, provide more specific examples, details, or statistics. This not only makes the essay more convincing but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing reasons for increased travel and the benefits for travelers. However, there are instances where the essay could be more focused, such as the brief mention of childhood memories and family visits.
    • How to improve: Maintain a tight focus on the main points related to the prompt. If introducing personal experiences, ensure they directly contribute to the overall argument and theme of the essay.

In summary, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt, enhancing the depth of exploration, providing more concrete examples, and maintaining a focused approach could further elevate the response. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument throughout the essay would contribute to a more cohesive and persuasive piece.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction sets the stage for discussing the reasons and benefits of travel. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured. The first paragraph covers personal reasons for travel, and the second focuses on the professional aspect. There’s a need for better transition and connection between these ideas for a smoother flow.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider a more explicit transition between paragraphs. Ensure that the progression of ideas is seamless. In this essay, the shift from personal reasons to professional reasons is abrupt. Consider dedicating specific sections to different aspects of travel (personal and professional) and use transitional phrases to guide the reader.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but their structure could be improved for better coherence. The first paragraph introduces the general idea, the second covers personal reasons, and the third addresses professional reasons. However, the division of ideas within the paragraphs is not consistently clear, and the flow could be enhanced by providing more distinct breaks between different points.
    • How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus on a specific aspect of the topic. In the second and third paragraphs, separate personal and professional reasons into distinct sections for clarity. Also, consider varying sentence lengths and structures within each paragraph to create a more engaging rhythm.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases (e.g., "To begin with," "In addition," "To conclude"). However, the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices could be improved for a more sophisticated connection between ideas.
    • How to improve: Diversify cohesive devices by incorporating a mix of conjunctions, pronouns, and linking words. For example, use pronouns (it, they, etc.) to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, enhancing the coherence of ideas. Additionally, explore more advanced transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay smoothly.

Overall, while the essay effectively communicates ideas, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and coherent piece.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is an attempt to use varied words, some repetition is noticeable, and certain phrases are repeated, like "work environment" and "unique vacation spots."
    • How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range, try incorporating synonyms and more diverse expressions. Use words that capture specific nuances and avoid repetitive phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning "work environment," explore alternative terms like "professional surroundings" or "workspace."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage. For instance, the phrase "scenic vacation spots" could be more specific, and the word "reminiscence" might not be the most precise choice in context.
    • How to improve: Focus on selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. For instance, instead of "scenic vacation spots," specify particular locations like "breathtaking landscapes" or "picturesque destinations." Regarding "reminiscence," consider alternatives like "reflect" or "recollect" for a more precise expression.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates correct spelling; however, there are some minor errors, such as "pay a visit" (which should be "pay a visit to") and "recollection" (which is correctly spelled but might not be the most appropriate choice).
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to small details, such as prepositions ("pay a visit to"), and consider the context suitability of words. In this case, choosing a term like "reflection of past events" might be more appropriate than "recollection." Regular proofreading and awareness of context will contribute to improved spelling accuracy.

Overall, the essay exhibits a commendable effort in vocabulary use but would benefit from refining the range and precision of words. Additionally, meticulous proofreading can ensure consistent and accurate spelling throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. While there is a mix of simple and complex sentences, there is room for improvement in terms of variety. There is a tendency to use repetitive structures, such as starting sentences with "Also" and "For example." Additionally, some sentences lack complexity, impacting the overall fluency and sophistication of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness, strive to incorporate more complex sentence structures. Introduce a variety of sentence beginnings and use transitional phrases to connect ideas seamlessly. Consider using compound and compound-complex sentences to add depth and sophistication to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with only a few noticeable errors. For instance, there are instances of subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "kids will have" should be "kids will have") and preposition misuse (e.g., "reminiscence of those days" should be "reminisce about those days"). Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are areas where it could be improved for clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that your verb tense is consistent throughout the essay. Review prepositions and their usage to avoid errors. Additionally, focus on punctuation, especially in instances where commas or other punctuation marks can enhance clarity. Proofread your work thoroughly to catch and correct these minor errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation, refining sentence structures and addressing specific grammatical issues will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is an indisputable fact that individuals are inclined to visit picturesque vacation destinations annually. In this essay, I will elucidate the reasons and benefits of being a traveler.

Firstly, individuals seek respite from their work environments and hectic lifestyles by visiting aesthetically pleasing destinations. It helps them relax and return to their work environment with renewed enthusiasm. This experience is not only enjoyable for adults but also creates cherished childhood memories for kids. These memories often inspire them to continue the tradition of travel when they become parents. For example, I regularly visit my grandmother and cousins at least twice a year. It remains one of my most cherished memories, and I reminisce about those days even after several years.

In contemporary times, numerous individuals abandon their professions to embrace a nomadic lifestyle. The primary catalyst for this shift is the growth of the digital medium, where individuals can create video blogs and upload them to YouTube. The audience’s interest in unique locations ensures that such videos gain popularity, offering individuals the potential to earn thousands of dollars per month. While it may not appear as a conventional profession, it enables people to follow their passion and monetize their travel experiences.

In conclusion, it is beneficial to refresh one’s mind by visiting distinctive vacation spots and reveling in the recollection of past experiences. Moreover, the opportunity to become a traveler presents itself as a viable option in the digital age, allowing individuals to both pursue their passion and earn through it.

Bài viết liên quan

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice