Today, more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for travellers ?

In recent years , Travelling has become increasingly prevalent for people to discover many parts of the world. In fact, a growing number of individuals today travel more than ever before.
Firstly, The truth is that we only have one time to be young. If we do not take advantage of it, we will never have the opportunity to travel like we do now. The bigger it is , the more we will spend time at our jobs and increase income so we do not have enough opportunities to explore the world, enjoy going to places where we have never been to sleep, eat, live with our family and friends.
Secondly, Travelling will teach us more practical things than reading books. Clearly, reading books brings much knowledge for us about the world, but we do not have experience to try it.In comparison to reading books , it is evident that travel helps us capability the reality of what we read or see in movies. That is to say real experience is a good way for us to expand knowledge about the mystery of the world.
Thirdly, one compelling reason for this stance is that travel helps us understand more about the world and ourselves better than before. If we travel a lot , we will find ourselves so small in this vast world, you will find that you spend too much time thinking, suffering about our personal needs and travel more, so you will understand and sympathize with other people, and know how to love ourselves.
Lastly , when we travel, it means we start to step out of the familiar area to grow up. Moreover, when we embark on a journey, we will live each day completely different from normal day in order that we will meet new people, eat new cuisine, come into contact with new culture as it is extremely wonderful and cheerful for people especially young people who need it to grow and be independent.
Besides, traveling is the best way for people to get a clear perspective of the world so that we will get accustomed to many new friends, cuisine and culture. Furthermore, the role of travel is just to provide people with opportunities to improve communication ability. Additionally, it impels us to expand relationships, and we will be confronted with many differences from there as we mature.
Overall, it is reasonable to conclude traveling is gaining more popularity among people in many parts of the world as it offers many benefits and opportunities for us to explore the world

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent years, Travelling" -> "In recent years, traveling"
Explanation: The original sentence lacks a comma after "years," which is necessary for proper punctuation. Additionally, "Travelling" should be "traveling" to conform to American English spelling conventions, which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"a growing number of individuals today travel more than ever before" -> "an increasing number of individuals today travel more than ever before"
Explanation: "a growing number" is slightly informal and vague; "an increasing number" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"The bigger it is, the more we will spend time at our jobs and increase income" -> "The older we become, the more time we will spend at our jobs and the greater our income will be"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The revised version clarifies the relationship between age and work-life balance and income.
"enjoy going to places where we have never been to sleep, eat, live with our family and friends" -> "enjoy visiting places where we have never stayed, dined, or lived with our family and friends"
Explanation: The original phrase is overly casual and redundant. The suggested revision is more formal and precise, avoiding redundancy and improving clarity.
"Clearly, reading books brings much knowledge for us about the world" -> "Clearly, reading books provides significant knowledge about the world"
Explanation: "brings much knowledge for us" is awkward and informal. "provides significant knowledge" is more direct and formal.
"it is evident that travel helps us capability the reality" -> "it is evident that travel enables us to experience the reality"
Explanation: "capability" is incorrect; "enables us to experience" is the correct phrase, providing a clear and formal expression.
"If we travel a lot, we will find ourselves so small in this vast world" -> "If we travel extensively, we will realize how small we are in this vast world"
Explanation: "travel a lot" is informal; "travel extensively" is more precise and formal. Also, "find ourselves so small" is informal; "realize how small we are" is more appropriate for academic writing.
"you will find that you spend too much time thinking, suffering about our personal needs and travel more" -> "you will discover that you spend too much time contemplating and worrying about personal needs and travel"
Explanation: "thinking, suffering" is informal and unclear; "contemplating and worrying" is more precise and formal.
"it means we start to step out of the familiar area to grow up" -> "it signifies our transition from the familiar to the unknown, fostering personal growth"
Explanation: "step out of the familiar area to grow up" is awkward and informal. The suggested revision is more formal and clearly conveys the idea of personal growth.
"we will live each day completely different from normal day" -> "we will experience each day as distinct from our usual daily routine"
Explanation: "completely different from normal day" is informal and vague. "distinct from our usual daily routine" is more precise and formal.
"come into contact with new culture as it is extremely wonderful and cheerful for people" -> "encounter new cultures, which are extremely enriching and uplifting for individuals"
Explanation: "come into contact with new culture" is informal and vague; "encounter new cultures" is more precise. Also, "wonderful and cheerful" is overly casual; "enriching and uplifting" are more formal and academically appropriate.
"the best way for people to get a clear perspective of the world" -> "the most effective means for individuals to gain a clear perspective of the world"
Explanation: "the best way" is informal; "the most effective means" is more formal and precise. Also, "people" should be "individuals" for consistency in formality.
"it impels us to expand relationships" -> "it encourages us to expand our relationships"
Explanation: "impels" is less common and may be misinterpreted; "encourages" is straightforward and universally understood in academic contexts.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for the increase in travel and the benefits of traveling. The first part is covered in the opening paragraphs, where the author mentions the desire to take advantage of youth and the increasing prevalence of travel. The second part is addressed in the subsequent paragraphs, which outline various benefits of travel, such as personal growth, practical learning, and cultural understanding. However, the explanations could be more explicitly linked to the reasons for increased travel.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should explicitly connect the reasons for increased travel to the benefits discussed. For example, they could elaborate on how the desire for personal growth and cultural understanding drives more people to travel. Additionally, ensuring that each reason is clearly stated and supported with specific examples would strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that travel is beneficial and increasingly popular. However, there are moments where the position could be more firmly articulated. For instance, phrases like "one compelling reason for this stance" could be more assertively stated to reinforce the author’s viewpoint. The transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt, which can lead to a lack of cohesion in the argument.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the author should use more definitive language and ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument, making it easier to follow the author’s line of reasoning.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of travel, such as personal growth, practical learning, and cultural exposure. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the statement about travel helping us understand ourselves better could benefit from specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate the point. The argument lacks depth in some areas, leaving the reader wanting more substantial evidence or elaboration.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to provide specific examples or personal experiences that illustrate the benefits of travel. This could include anecdotes about how travel has changed their perspective or specific instances where they learned something valuable while traveling. Additionally, expanding on each point with more detailed explanations would provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for increased travel and its benefits. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague or repetitive, such as the repeated emphasis on personal growth without adding new insights. The phrase "travel helps us understand more about the world and ourselves better than before" could be seen as redundant without further elaboration.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should avoid redundancy and ensure that each point made contributes something new to the discussion. It would be beneficial to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all ideas are relevant and contribute to answering the prompt. Keeping the discussion concise and directly related to the question will help maintain clarity and relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear progression of ideas, starting with the reasons for increased travel and moving into the benefits of travel. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, contributing to the overall argument. For instance, the transition from discussing the fleeting nature of youth to the educational aspects of travel is logical. However, some points could be better connected. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from practical learning to self-discovery feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the educational benefits of travel, a phrase like "In addition to gaining knowledge, travel also fosters personal growth" could create a clearer connection to the next point about self-understanding.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of travel, such as the importance of youth, practical learning, self-discovery, and personal growth. However, some paragraphs could be more concise. For instance, the fourth paragraph contains several ideas that could be streamlined to enhance clarity and focus.
- How to improve: Aim for each paragraph to contain a single main idea supported by relevant details. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas. For example, the fourth paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the new experiences gained through travel and the other on the development of communication skills.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Moreover," which help to structure the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, primarily relying on these basic connectors. Additionally, the use of pronouns and synonyms could be improved to avoid redundancy, such as repeating "travel" and "we" excessively.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "As a result." Additionally, use synonyms to replace repeated terms; for example, instead of repeatedly saying "travel," consider using "journey" or "exploration." This will enhance the essay’s fluency and make it more engaging for the reader.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions between ideas, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "prevalent," "opportunity," "experience," and "independent" being effectively used. However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, such as the frequent use of "travel" and "travelling," which could have been varied with synonyms like "journeying," "exploring," or "voyaging." Additionally, phrases like "the truth is" and "it is evident" are somewhat formulaic and do not add much to the richness of the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "travel," the writer could use "explore," "journey," or "adventure." Furthermore, employing more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "exhilarating experiences" or "culturally diverse cuisines."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are notable imprecisions. For instance, the phrase "we only have one time to be young" is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "we only have one youth." The phrase "helps us capability the reality" is also incorrect; "capability" should be replaced with "understand" or "grasp." Such inaccuracies can confuse the reader and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising phrases that are unclear or awkward. For example, instead of saying "helps us capability the reality," the writer could say "helps us understand the reality." Additionally, reviewing vocabulary choices for clarity and appropriateness will enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Travelling" (should be "travelling" in lowercase), "capability" (incorrect usage), and "cuisine" (misspelled as "cuisines" in a context that implies singular). While the overall spelling is generally accurate, these errors can detract from the professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and reviewing the correct forms of vocabulary used in context will aid in reducing spelling mistakes in future essays.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of conditional structures in "If we do not take advantage of it, we will never have the opportunity to travel like we do now" showcases an effective way to express hypothetical situations. However, there are instances of repetitive structure, such as starting multiple sentences with "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Lastly," which can make the writing feel formulaic. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and convoluted, such as "the bigger it is, the more we will spend time at our jobs and increase income so we do not have enough opportunities to explore the world," which can hinder clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the use of introductory phrases and clauses. Try integrating more complex sentences that combine ideas, such as using relative clauses (e.g., "Traveling, which allows us to experience new cultures, is essential for personal growth"). Additionally, breaking down overly long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can enhance readability and impact.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall quality. For instance, the phrase "In recent years , Travelling has become increasingly prevalent" has an unnecessary space before the comma, and "Travelling" should not be capitalized. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "it is evident that travel helps us capability the reality," where "capability" should be replaced with "understand" or "grasp." Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent, leading to run-on sentences and unclear ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully for common errors, such as misplaced commas and incorrect verb forms. Practicing sentence diagramming can help clarify subject-verb relationships and improve overall sentence structure. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly for complex sentences, will aid in creating clearer and more effective writing. Consider using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, traveling has become increasingly prevalent for people to discover many parts of the world. In fact, an increasing number of individuals today travel more than ever before.

Firstly, the truth is that we only have one time to be young. If we do not take advantage of it, we will never have the opportunity to travel like we do now. The older we become, the more time we will spend at our jobs and the greater our income will be, so we do not have enough opportunities to explore the world and enjoy visiting places where we have never stayed, dined, or lived with our family and friends.

Secondly, traveling will teach us more practical things than reading books. Clearly, reading books provides significant knowledge about the world, but we do not have the experience to try it. In comparison to reading books, it is evident that travel enables us to experience the reality of what we read or see in movies. That is to say, real experience is a good way for us to expand our knowledge about the mysteries of the world.

Thirdly, one compelling reason for this stance is that travel helps us understand more about the world and ourselves better than before. If we travel extensively, we will realize how small we are in this vast world. You will discover that you spend too much time contemplating and worrying about personal needs, and through travel, you will learn to understand and sympathize with other people, as well as know how to love ourselves.

Lastly, when we travel, it signifies our transition from the familiar to the unknown, fostering personal growth. Moreover, when we embark on a journey, we will experience each day as distinct from our usual daily routine, allowing us to meet new people, eat new cuisine, and encounter new cultures, which are extremely enriching and uplifting for individuals, especially young people who need it to grow and be independent.

Besides, traveling is the most effective means for individuals to gain a clear perspective of the world, so we will become accustomed to many new friends, cuisines, and cultures. Furthermore, the role of travel is to provide people with opportunities to improve their communication abilities. Additionally, it encourages us to expand our relationships, and we will be confronted with many differences from there as we mature.

Overall, it is reasonable to conclude that traveling is gaining more popularity among people in many parts of the world, as it offers many benefits and opportunities for us to explore the world.