Topic: In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Topic: In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,reading e-books is choosen rather than paper books by more and more people.From my view of point, the benefits of this situation outweigh the drawbacks.In this essay,I will discuss both negative and positive sides and explain for my opinion.
On the one hand,there are some disadvantages when people use e-books.Firstly,reading e-books can lead to eye problems.For example, we have to use phones or computers to read book and using it for a long time can cause visual impairment and leading to short-sighted,while reading paper books have fewer people suffer from eye diseases.Another drawback is the limited of paper books.Because,when more people choose to read online books,many offline books will stop publishing and we cannot find that books anymore,that can make paper books more limit in stores.
On the other hand,in my opinion,the pros of reading e-books surpass the cons.First of all,e-books is easily to read than paper books.For instance,when we want read book,we have to pay a lot of money to buy paper books,while we just need a phone or computer we can easily to find books we want in the Internet.Futhermore,paper books can not use for a long time.Because,when we make books wet,it will be damaged and we cannot use that books anymore.While,we save information of online books in phone or computer,we can easily to find it and we can read those books without fear of being damaged or lost it.
In conclusion,reading e-books can lead to some drawback is eye problems and it make many paper books do not publish anymore.however,the pros overweigh the cons is the e-books do not waste too much money to have a e-book read and we can read online books easily without fear of being lost it.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nowadays,reading e-books is choosen rather than paper books by more and more people." -> "Currently, the preference for reading e-books over paper books is increasing among many individuals."
    Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the verb tense and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.

  2. "From my view of point," -> "From my perspective,"
    Explanation: "View of point" is a grammatical error. "From my perspective" is the correct phrase, enhancing the formal tone of the essay.

  3. "In this essay,I will discuss both negative and positive sides and explain for my opinion." -> "In this essay, I will discuss both the negative and positive aspects and justify my opinion."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and grammatical correctness. The revision corrects the grammatical structure and uses more precise vocabulary.

  4. "there are some disadvantages when people use e-books" -> "there are certain disadvantages associated with the use of e-books"
    Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The suggested revision clarifies the relationship between the use of e-books and the disadvantages.

  5. "Firstly,reading e-books can lead to eye problems." -> "Firstly, reading e-books can lead to eye problems such as visual impairment and short-sightedness."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks specificity. Adding "such as visual impairment and short-sightedness" provides a clear example of the problems.

  6. "we have to use phones or computers to read book and using it for a long time can cause" -> "we must use phones or computers to read books, and prolonged use can cause"
    Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and enhances readability by using "must" for necessity and "prolonged use" for a more formal tone.

  7. "the limited of paper books" -> "the limitation of paper books"
    Explanation: "Limited" is an adjective and should be used with "of" to form the correct prepositional phrase "of the limitation."

  8. "Because,when more people choose to read online books,many offline books will stop publishing and we cannot find that books anymore,that can make paper books more limit in stores." -> "As more people opt for online books, many offline books may cease publication, making it difficult to find them, which could limit the availability of paper books in stores."
    Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and contains multiple errors. The revision clarifies the meaning and corrects grammatical errors.

  9. "e-books is easily to read than paper books" -> "e-books are easier to read than paper books"
    Explanation: Corrects the verb agreement and uses the comparative form "easier" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.

  10. "we can easily to find books we want in the Internet" -> "we can easily find the books we want on the Internet"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the preposition usage for a more formal tone.

  11. "Futhermore,paper books can not use for a long time." -> "Furthermore, paper books cannot be used for an extended period."
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical errors and uses more formal vocabulary.

  12. "we save information of online books in phone or computer,we can easily to find it" -> "we save information about online books on our phones or computers, and we can easily access it"
    Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning by specifying what is saved and how it is accessed.

  13. "reading e-books can lead to some drawback is eye problems" -> "reading e-books can lead to some drawbacks, including eye problems"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies that "drawbacks" is a plural noun.

  14. "it make many paper books do not publish anymore" -> "this may result in many paper books no longer being published"
    Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the consequence of the trend.

  15. "the pros overweigh the cons is the e-books do not waste too much money to have a e-book read" -> "the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as e-books do not require significant financial investment to read"
    Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and refines the explanation for a more formal and precise academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of e-books compared to paper books. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While the disadvantages mentioned include eye problems and the potential decline in the availability of paper books, the advantages focus primarily on cost-effectiveness and convenience without exploring other potential benefits such as accessibility or environmental impact. The essay does not fully engage with the prompt’s request to evaluate whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as it lacks a thorough comparative analysis.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should delve deeper into both sides of the argument. For instance, they could discuss additional advantages of e-books, such as portability, accessibility for disabled individuals, and the environmental benefits of reducing paper use. Furthermore, a more explicit comparison of the advantages and disadvantages, possibly with a concluding statement that clearly weighs the two, would strengthen the overall response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the advantages of e-books outweigh the disadvantages. However, the clarity of this position is undermined by some inconsistencies in the argumentation. For instance, while the author states that e-books are easier to read, they do not adequately explain why this is the case in comparison to paper books. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the position but does so in a way that lacks clarity and coherence, making it difficult for the reader to fully grasp the argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph reinforces their main argument. This can be achieved by clearly linking the advantages and disadvantages back to the central thesis throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument and summarizing the main points in a more structured conclusion would also help clarify the position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of e-books, but these ideas are not always well-developed or supported. For example, the claim that e-books are easier to read is not substantiated with specific examples or explanations. Additionally, the discussion of disadvantages is limited and lacks depth, which weakens the overall argument.
    • How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. For instance, when discussing the ease of reading e-books, they could elaborate on features such as adjustable font sizes or built-in dictionaries that enhance the reading experience. Similarly, providing statistics or studies related to eye strain from e-books versus paper books could strengthen the argument regarding disadvantages.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the comparison between e-books and paper books. However, there are moments where the focus drifts, particularly in the explanation of disadvantages. The phrase "the limited of paper books" is vague and could confuse readers about the specific point being made. Additionally, the conclusion introduces new ideas about cost without adequately tying them back to the main argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of e-books as compared to paper books. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that all statements are clearly linked to the main argument will help keep the essay on topic. Furthermore, the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed rather than introducing new ideas, reinforcing the overall argument presented in the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the disadvantages and advantages could be smoother. The introduction states that both sides will be discussed, but the shift to the advantages feels abrupt. Additionally, the points made in the body paragraphs could be better organized to enhance clarity; for example, the disadvantages could be grouped more effectively to avoid redundancy.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Additionally, use transitional phrases such as "On the contrary" or "Conversely" to signal shifts between contrasting ideas. Structuring the essay in a way that first discusses all disadvantages followed by all advantages, or vice versa, could also improve coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first body paragraph discussing disadvantages lacks clear separation of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow. For instance, the mention of eye problems and the limitation of paper books are both presented in a single paragraph without clear delineation between the two points.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea. Consider splitting the first body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs—one focusing on eye problems and the other on the limitations of paper books. This will help clarify the argument and make it easier for the reader to digest the information.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal the transition between opposing viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which detracts from the overall cohesion of the essay. For example, the phrase "we can easily" appears multiple times, which could be varied to enhance the writing style.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "In addition," "Nevertheless," and "Consequently." This will not only improve the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some appropriate word choices such as "disadvantages," "benefits," and "visual impairment." However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, terms like "books" and "read" are used excessively without synonyms or alternatives, which limits the richness of the language. Phrases like "the pros of reading e-books surpass the cons" could be enhanced by incorporating more varied expressions.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "books," they could use "literature," "texts," or "publications." Additionally, employing phrases like "advantages" and "disadvantages" interchangeably with "benefits" and "drawbacks" can diversify the language. Regular reading and vocabulary exercises can help build a broader lexicon.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage in the essay. For example, the phrase "the limited of paper books" is awkward and unclear; it should be "the limitation of paper books" or "the limited availability of paper books." Additionally, "e-books is easily to read" should be corrected to "e-books are easier to read." These inaccuracies can confuse the reader and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and ensure that vocabulary is used correctly in context. They can practice by writing sentences with new vocabulary and checking their meanings and usages. Using a thesaurus to find more precise words can also improve clarity. Furthermore, revising sentences for grammatical correctness will enhance precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "choosen" (chosen), "view of point" (viewpoint), "Futhermore" (Furthermore), and "overweigh" (outweigh). These mistakes indicate a lack of attention to detail and can undermine the credibility of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should make it a habit to proofread their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can reinforce correct spelling. Engaging in regular writing practice will also help solidify spelling skills over time.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences present. For example, the sentence "reading e-books can lead to eye problems" is straightforward and lacks complexity. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the pros of reading e-books surpass the cons" indicates a reliance on basic structures. The essay does attempt to use some linking phrases (e.g., "On the one hand," "First of all"), but these are not enough to showcase a variety of grammatical forms.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "reading e-books can lead to eye problems," the writer could say, "Although reading e-books can lead to eye problems, many people still prefer them due to their convenience." This not only adds complexity but also improves the flow of ideas.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "choosen" should be "chosen," and "the benefits of this situation outweigh the drawbacks" is awkwardly phrased. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods (e.g., "Nowadays,reading e-books" should be "Nowadays, reading e-books"). The phrase "the limited of paper books" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "the limitations of paper books." Furthermore, the use of "is" instead of "are" in "e-books is easily to read" is incorrect.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing sentence construction and reviewing subject-verb agreement rules will help in creating grammatically correct sentences. For punctuation, the writer should ensure that there is a space after each comma and period and familiarize themselves with the rules governing the use of commas in complex sentences.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly boost the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, reading e-books is chosen rather than paper books by more and more people. From my point of view, the benefits of this situation outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both the negative and positive sides and explain my opinion.

On the one hand, there are some disadvantages when people use e-books. Firstly, reading e-books can lead to eye problems. For example, we have to use phones or computers to read books, and using them for a long time can cause visual impairment and lead to short-sightedness, while fewer people suffer from eye diseases when reading paper books. Another drawback is the limitation of paper books. Because when more people choose to read online books, many offline books will stop being published, and we cannot find those books anymore, which can make paper books more limited in stores.

On the other hand, in my opinion, the pros of reading e-books surpass the cons. First of all, e-books are easier to read than paper books. For instance, when we want to read a book, we have to pay a lot of money to buy paper books, while with just a phone or computer, we can easily find the books we want on the Internet. Furthermore, paper books cannot be used for a long time. Because when we make books wet, they will be damaged, and we cannot use those books anymore. However, we save information about online books on our phones or computers, and we can easily find it and read those books without fear of being damaged or lost.

In conclusion, reading e-books can lead to some drawbacks, such as eye problems, and it may result in many paper books no longer being published. However, the pros outweigh the cons, as e-books do not require significant financial investment to read, and we can read online books easily without fear of losing them.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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