Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. What are the causes? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.
Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. What are the causes? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.
Traffic jams have become increasingly troublesome in metropolises around the world. This problem happens due to some reasons, and effective measures should be taken to mitigate it. Several reasons can explain why the streets in big cities are blocked with traffic every day.
Firstly, the problem is attributed to the dramatic sudden large increase in the city population. Over the last decades, there has been an inclination for people migrating from rural areas to urban areas in search of work and the transport infrastructure cannot accommodate as a big population. As a consequence, the problem of traffic congestion. Secondly, in many cities, the public transport system has not enough to developed, which forces a person who travels some distance to work on a regular basis to rely largely on private vehicles. As a result, the roads in urban areas are usually overcrowded with a large number of cars and motorcycles.
However, there are various workable solutions that governments could take to solve the issue. The initial solution is to relocate industrial parks and business to rural areas to create more job opportunities for the residents there. The relocation could help encourage workers in the city to get back to their hometowns, thereby reducing overpopulation in urban areas and addressing traffic congestion. Another measure is to upgrade the public transport system and impose higher taxes on cars. These two actions aim at encouraging more people to use buses, trams or subways and discouraging them from unpublic vehicles, hence a lighter burden on the transport infrastructure.
In conclusion, this issue begin with the growingly dense population in big hometown and transport infrastructure is not enough to developed, but government could more plants and organs to the countryside and assure the use of public transport to reduce this problem.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"troublesome" -> "problematic"
Explanation: Replacing "troublesome" with "problematic" maintains formality and better reflects the severity of the issue in a formal essay. -
"This problem happens due to some reasons" -> "This issue arises due to several factors"
Explanation: "This problem happens" is too colloquial for an academic essay. "Arises due to several factors" is a more formal and precise expression. -
"Several reasons can explain why" -> "Several factors contribute to"
Explanation: "Can explain why" is slightly informal. "Contribute to" is a more formal and precise phrase for discussing causality in academic writing. -
"the dramatic sudden large increase" -> "the significant, sudden increase"
Explanation: "Dramatic sudden large increase" is awkward and lacks precision. "Significant, sudden increase" is more concise and academically appropriate. -
"there has been an inclination for people migrating" -> "there has been a trend of people migrating"
Explanation: "Inclination for people migrating" is awkward and imprecise. "Trend of people migrating" is clearer and more formal. -
"transport infrastructure cannot accommodate as a big population" -> "transport infrastructure cannot accommodate such a large population"
Explanation: "As a big population" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Such a large population" is more precise and grammatically correct. -
"the problem of traffic congestion" -> "traffic congestion"
Explanation: "The problem of" is redundant. "Traffic congestion" is sufficient to convey the issue. -
"the public transport system has not enough to developed" -> "the public transport system has not been sufficiently developed"
Explanation: "Has not enough to developed" is grammatically incorrect. "Has not been sufficiently developed" is clearer and more formal. -
"a person who travels some distance to work on a regular basis" -> "commuters"
Explanation: "A person who travels some distance to work on a regular basis" is verbose. "Commuters" is a concise and formal term. -
"the roads in urban areas are usually overcrowded with a large number of cars and motorcycles" -> "urban roads are typically congested with numerous cars and motorcycles"
Explanation: Simplifying the sentence and replacing "overcrowded" with "congested" enhances clarity and formality. -
"workable solutions" -> "viable solutions"
Explanation: "Workable solutions" is slightly informal. "Viable solutions" is a more formal and precise term. -
"initial solution" -> "primary solution"
Explanation: "Initial solution" could imply there are more than one solution being presented initially. "Primary solution" clarifies that it is the main solution being discussed. -
"relocate industrial parks and business to rural areas" -> "relocate industrial parks and businesses to rural areas"
Explanation: "Business" should be in the plural form to match "industrial parks." -
"plants and organs to the countryside" -> "initiatives and resources to rural areas"
Explanation: "Plants and organs" is unclear and may be interpreted literally. "Initiatives and resources" better conveys the intended meaning of actions and support. -
"but government could more plants and organs" -> "but governments could allocate more resources"
Explanation: "More plants and organs" is unclear and ambiguous. "Allocate more resources" is a clearer and more formal expression of government action.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. It identifies causes of traffic congestion, including population growth and inadequate public transportation, and suggests measures to reduce it, such as relocating industries, improving public transportation, and imposing higher taxes on cars.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, ensure a more comprehensive exploration of each cause and measure suggested. For instance, elaborating on the specific challenges posed by population growth and proposing additional measures beyond industrial relocation and public transport improvements could strengthen the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that traffic congestion is a significant issue caused by population growth and inadequate public transportation. This stance is consistently articulated throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, enhancing the depth of analysis and providing more nuanced arguments could further bolster the clarity and persuasiveness of the essay’s position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, but they lack sufficient elaboration and support. For example, while causes of traffic congestion are mentioned, they are not extensively explored or supported with evidence or examples.
- How to improve: Strengthen the essay by providing more detailed explanations, examples, or evidence to support the presented ideas. This could involve citing specific statistics, studies, or real-world examples to enhance the credibility and depth of the arguments.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing causes of traffic congestion and suggesting measures to reduce it. However, there are instances of vague or tangential statements that detract from coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each point directly relates to the topic of traffic congestion and its causes and solutions. Avoid generalizations or statements that are not directly relevant to the prompt to enhance coherence and relevance.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth of analysis, coherence, and specificity of examples provided. Strengthening these aspects could elevate the essay’s effectiveness in addressing the prompt and enhance its overall quality.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It follows a typical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for traffic congestion and suggested measures. However, there are instances of disjointedness and lack of smooth transitions between ideas. For example, the transition from discussing causes to proposing solutions could be more seamless to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear progression of ideas. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to connect different parts of the essay more effectively. Additionally, provide a clearer roadmap in the introduction to outline the essay’s structure and guide the reader through the argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for readability and organization. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, such as causes or solutions. However, paragraph structure could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. Some paragraphs lack topic sentences, making it challenging to discern the main idea at the outset. Additionally, the conclusion paragraph is relatively short and could be expanded to provide a more robust summary of the essay’s key points.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help readers understand the purpose of each paragraph from the outset. Additionally, consider expanding the conclusion to recap the main arguments presented in the essay and reinforce the thesis statement.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Some basic cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("this problem," "these actions"), conjunctions ("but," "however"), and transitional phrases ("in conclusion"), are used sporadically throughout the essay. However, there is a lack of variety and sophistication in cohesive devices, which affects the overall cohesion of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, including synonyms, parallel structures, and transitional adverbs. Use cohesive devices strategically to establish clear relationships between ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to consistency in pronoun usage to avoid ambiguity and confusion for the reader.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, with varied word choices used throughout the response. For instance, synonyms like "metropolises" and "urban areas" are employed instead of repeating the term "big cities." Additionally, phrases such as "relocate industrial parks" and "discouraging them from unpublic vehicles" contribute to lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. For example, instead of "public transport system," phrases like "mass transit infrastructure" could be utilized. Additionally, aim for more precise word choices to convey ideas more effectively.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are instances where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "relocate industrial parks" could be more precise by specifying the type of industry being relocated. Moreover, the term "unpublic vehicles" is unclear and could be replaced with a more specific term like "private vehicles."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully select words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Utilize specific terminology relevant to the context, avoiding ambiguous or vague expressions. Additionally, proofreading for clarity can help ensure precise vocabulary usage.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with most words spelled correctly. However, there are minor spelling errors, such as "developed" instead of "development," "begin" instead of "begins," and "organs" instead of "efforts." These errors slightly detract from the overall quality of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools or proofreading the essay carefully before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises can help reinforce correct spelling patterns and reduce errors in future compositions.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It utilizes simple and compound sentences predominantly with occasional complex structures. For instance, the essay includes sentences like "Traffic jams have become increasingly troublesome in metropolises around the world," which is a complex sentence, but there’s a lack of consistent variety. Incorporating more complex structures such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions would enhance the richness of expression.
- How to improve: To improve the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence types such as complex sentences (e.g., using subordinating conjunctions like ‘although’ or ‘while’), compound-complex sentences, and passive voice constructions. Additionally, employing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion can add sophistication to the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a fair level of grammatical accuracy, but there are noticeable errors throughout the text. For instance, there are instances of subject-verb agreement errors ("the public transport system has not enough to developed"), article misuse ("more plants and organs to the countryside"), and awkward phrasing ("but government could more plants and organs to the countryside"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("Over the last decades, there has been an inclination for people migrating from rural areas to urban areas").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s crucial to review and revise sentence structures for subject-verb agreement and article usage. Proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly comma usage in complex sentences, is essential. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors more effectively. Practice writing sentences correctly to internalize grammatical rules and improve accuracy over time.
Bài sửa mẫu
Traffic congestion has increasingly plagued major cities worldwide. This issue arises due to several factors, and it necessitates effective measures to alleviate it. Several factors contribute to the significant, sudden increase in traffic congestion in big cities.
Primarily, the problem stems from the significant, sudden increase in the urban population. Over the past decades, there has been a trend of people migrating from rural to urban areas in search of employment opportunities, resulting in an overwhelming population for the existing transport infrastructure to handle. Consequently, traffic congestion has become a prevalent issue.
Secondly, inadequate development of the public transport system in many cities exacerbates the problem. Insufficient public transportation options compel commuters traveling significant distances to work to rely heavily on private vehicles, further congesting urban roads with numerous cars and motorcycles.
However, there are viable solutions that governments could implement to address this issue. The primary solution involves relocating industrial parks and businesses to rural areas, thereby creating more employment opportunities for residents there. This initiative could incentivize urban workers to return to their hometowns, consequently reducing overpopulation in urban areas and mitigating traffic congestion.
Another measure entails enhancing the public transport system and imposing higher taxes on private vehicles. These actions aim to encourage more individuals to utilize buses, trams, or subways, while discouraging the use of private vehicles. This shift would alleviate the burden on transport infrastructure and contribute to reducing traffic congestion.
In conclusion, traffic congestion in major cities arises from the influx of people from rural areas and inadequate development of transport infrastructure. However, governments can mitigate this problem by allocating more resources to rural areas and promoting the use of public transport.
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