University students should be required to attend classes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
University students should be required to attend classes.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
Nowadays, attending classes is becoming increasingly prevalent for students in various countries. It plays a crucial role in expanding the knowledge and horizons of the pupils. Therefore, the question arises: "Should university students be required to attend classes?"
It cannot be denied that students can choose various forms of learning, including online or offline. However, mandatory attendance at classes instills a sense of responsibility in students. Furthermore, it establishes good habits; punctuality and discipline are key to enhancing their shortcomings in real life, such as completing deadlines and maintaining a well-regulated life by joining classes on time. When attending sufficient classes, the professor can assess student participation. Because students should be appreciated for their various behavioral aspects, lecturers evaluate attendance and engagement in lectures.
On the other hand, it can be argued that students should have the autonomy to decide whether they attend classes or not. If they do not consider it valuable, they may skip classes, even if some professors are inattentive to students. In addition, there are other ways to study; even if students are absent, they can participate in a makeup class using online course materials. Especially now, many universities or colleges provide online class platforms, offering alternative learning options.
In conclusion, the decision to attend classes depends on the purpose and preferences of typical students. They have the right to choose the environment, whether online or offline. Both also facilitate connections to broader knowledge and motivate us to become good global citizens. However, from my perspective, I advocate that students should regularly attend classes.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays." -
"attending classes is becoming increasingly prevalent" -> "attendance at classes is becoming increasingly common"
Explanation: "Attendance at classes" is a more formal and precise term than "attending classes," and "common" is more academically appropriate than "prevalent." -
"plays a crucial role in expanding the knowledge and horizons of the pupils" -> "plays a crucial role in expanding the knowledge and horizons of students"
Explanation: "Students" is the correct term for the intended meaning, replacing the less formal "pupils." -
"the question arises: "Should university students be required to attend classes?"" -> "the question arises: "Should university students be required to attend classes?""
Explanation: The question should be properly punctuated to maintain grammatical correctness. -
"It cannot be denied that" -> "It is undeniable that"
Explanation: "It is undeniable that" is a more formal and concise way to introduce a statement that is widely accepted as true. -
"students can choose various forms of learning, including online or offline" -> "students can choose various forms of learning, such as online or offline"
Explanation: "Such as" is more precise and formal than "including," which is somewhat vague in this context. -
"mandatory attendance at classes instills a sense of responsibility in students" -> "mandatory attendance at classes fosters a sense of responsibility in students"
Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise verb than "instills" in this context, suggesting a nurturing or developing effect. -
"establishes good habits; punctuality and discipline are key to enhancing their shortcomings" -> "establishes good habits, such as punctuality and discipline, which are essential for addressing their shortcomings"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the relationship between habits and their benefits, making the sentence more formal and precise. -
"the professor can assess student participation" -> "the professor can assess student engagement"
Explanation: "Engagement" is a more specific term than "participation," which is broader and less precise in this context. -
"Because students should be appreciated for their various behavioral aspects, lecturers evaluate attendance and engagement in lectures" -> "Given the importance of recognizing students’ diverse behavioral aspects, lecturers evaluate attendance and engagement in lectures"
Explanation: "Given the importance" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a reason, and "recognizing" is more specific than "appreciated." -
"If they do not consider it valuable, they may skip classes" -> "If they do not find it valuable, they may choose to skip classes"
Explanation: "Find it valuable" is more precise and formal than "consider it valuable," and "choose to skip" is more formal than "may skip." -
"there are other ways to study; even if students are absent, they can participate in a makeup class using online course materials" -> "there are alternative methods of study; even if students are absent, they can participate in online makeup classes using course materials"
Explanation: "Alternative methods of study" and "online makeup classes" are more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone. -
"Especially now, many universities or colleges provide online class platforms" -> "particularly, many universities and colleges now offer online learning platforms"
Explanation: "Particularly" is more formal than "Especially," and "offer online learning platforms" is a more precise and formal way to describe the provision of educational resources. -
"However, from my perspective, I advocate that students should regularly attend classes" -> "However, from my perspective, I advocate regular attendance at classes"
Explanation: "Regular attendance at classes" is a more concise and formal way to express the recommendation, avoiding the redundancy of "students should."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether university students should be required to attend classes. The introduction sets up the question effectively, and the body paragraphs explore the benefits of mandatory attendance, such as responsibility and discipline, while also acknowledging the counterargument that students should have the autonomy to choose. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer delineation of the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the idea, as the conclusion presents a somewhat ambiguous stance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. A more definitive stance would provide clarity and strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could summarize the key points more explicitly in relation to the author’s viewpoint.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that leans towards supporting mandatory attendance, but this is somewhat diluted by the discussion of the opposing view. Phrases like "from my perspective, I advocate that students should regularly attend classes" suggest agreement, yet the earlier sections present a balanced view that may confuse the reader about the author’s true stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently use assertive language that reflects their viewpoint. They could structure the essay to first present the argument for mandatory attendance, followed by the counterargument, and then conclude with a strong reaffirmation of their position. This would help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay introduces several relevant ideas, such as the importance of responsibility and the availability of alternative learning methods. However, some points lack depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument. For instance, while the essay mentions "good habits" and "punctuality," it does not provide concrete examples or scenarios that illustrate these benefits in a university context.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the benefits of attending classes. For instance, they could mention studies showing improved academic performance among students who attend classes regularly or share personal experiences that highlight the value of in-person instruction.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of mandatory class attendance. However, some sections could be more tightly focused on the prompt. For example, the mention of online learning options, while relevant, could be more directly tied back to the argument about mandatory attendance rather than presented as a separate point.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of whether attendance should be mandatory. They could frame the discussion of online learning as a counterpoint to the necessity of physical attendance, thereby reinforcing the relevance of each argument to the main topic.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from clearer positioning, deeper support for ideas, and tighter focus on the prompt to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the necessity of class attendance for university students. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, while the body paragraphs are structured to present both sides of the argument. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of mandatory attendance, such as instilling responsibility and discipline, while the second body paragraph counters this by highlighting the autonomy of students and alternative learning methods. However, the transition between the arguments could be smoother, as the shift from supporting attendance to discussing autonomy feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly link the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of attendance, a sentence like "Despite these advantages, it is also important to consider the perspective of students who prefer flexibility in their learning" could provide a clearer transition to the opposing viewpoint.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first addressing the importance of attendance and the second presenting the counterargument. However, the conclusion could be more robust, as it briefly summarizes the discussion without reinforcing the main points or providing a strong final statement.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key arguments presented in the essay and reiterating your stance more emphatically. A concluding sentence that encapsulates the essence of your argument, such as "Ultimately, while students should have the freedom to choose their learning methods, the benefits of regular class attendance cannot be overlooked," would provide a more impactful closure.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "furthermore," and "on the other hand," which help to connect ideas and contrast viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded, as some transitions feel repetitive, particularly in the second body paragraph where "in addition" and "especially now" are used without much variation.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "however," you might use "nevertheless," "conversely," or "alternatively" to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, using phrases like "for instance" or "to illustrate" can help to provide examples and clarify points more effectively.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing transitions, strengthening the conclusion, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher level.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "mandatory attendance," "autonomy," and "behavioral aspects." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "attending classes" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "attending classes," alternatives like "participating in lectures," "classroom engagement," or "in-person learning" could be employed. This would not only demonstrate a wider vocabulary range but also make the writing more engaging.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "punctuality" and "discipline," which effectively convey the intended meanings. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "students can choose various forms of learning, including online or offline." The phrase "offline" is vague and could be more accurately described as "in-person" or "traditional classroom settings."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately reflect the intended meaning. For example, replacing "offline" with "in-person" would clarify the distinction between learning modalities. Additionally, using more specific terms related to the subject matter, such as "attendance policies" or "educational methodologies," would strengthen the precision of the vocabulary.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. Words like "responsibility," "participation," and "evaluate" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can be beneficial. Practicing writing exercises that focus on spelling can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.
In summary, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling practices. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, using more precise language, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their overall score in this criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex structures is evident in sentences like, "However, mandatory attendance at classes instills a sense of responsibility in students," which effectively conveys a nuanced idea. Additionally, the essay employs a range of linking words and phrases such as "on the other hand," "furthermore," and "in conclusion," which help to connect ideas logically. However, some sentences are quite lengthy and could benefit from being broken down for clarity, such as, "When attending sufficient classes, the professor can assess student participation. Because students should be appreciated for their various behavioral aspects, lecturers evaluate attendance and engagement in lectures," which could be more fluidly integrated.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and lengths. For instance, starting some sentences with adverbial clauses or phrases can add interest. Additionally, aim to reduce the complexity of some longer sentences to improve readability. Practicing the use of different sentence types, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If students attend regularly, they are likely to perform better"), can also add depth to the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "it can be argued that students should have the autonomy to decide whether they attend classes or not" is grammatically correct, but the use of "whether" could be more effectively replaced with "if" for clarity. Additionally, punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as in the sentence, "Especially now, many universities or colleges provide online class platforms," where the introductory phrase could be better punctuated for emphasis.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for minor errors and ensure that punctuation is used effectively to clarify meaning. Practicing the rules of punctuation, especially around clauses and lists, can help. Furthermore, consider using grammar checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct any recurring grammatical issues. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, can also be beneficial.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Nowadays, attendance at classes is becoming increasingly common for students in various countries. It plays a crucial role in expanding the knowledge and horizons of pupils. Therefore, the question arises: “Should university students be required to attend classes?”
It is undeniable that students can choose various forms of learning, including online or offline. However, mandatory attendance at classes fosters a sense of responsibility in students. Furthermore, it establishes good habits; punctuality and discipline are key to addressing their shortcomings in real life, such as meeting deadlines and maintaining a well-regulated life by joining classes on time. When attending sufficient classes, the professor can assess student engagement. Given the importance of recognizing students’ diverse behavioral aspects, lecturers evaluate attendance and engagement in lectures.
On the other hand, it can be argued that students should have the autonomy to decide whether they attend classes or not. If they do not find it valuable, they may choose to skip classes, even if some professors are inattentive to students. In addition, there are alternative methods of study; even if students are absent, they can participate in online makeup classes using course materials. Particularly, many universities and colleges now offer online learning platforms, providing alternative learning options.
In conclusion, the decision to attend classes depends on the purpose and preferences of typical students. They have the right to choose the environment, whether online or offline. Both options facilitate connections to broader knowledge and motivate us to become good global citizens. However, from my perspective, I advocate regular attendance at classes.