Vehicle free day means private cars, truck and motorcycle are banned in the city center. Only bus, bicycles and taxi are permitted in city center. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Vehicle free day means private cars, truck and motorcycle are banned in the city center. Only bus, bicycles and taxi are permitted in city center. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
In the contemporary world, some people believe vehicle free day should be more prevalent around the world. This means that only bus, bicycle and taxi are permitted in city center, while private cars, trucks and motorbikes are banned in metropolis center. From my perspective, I agree that moving around the city by public transport can reduce air pollution, gridlock, however, this approach will have a detrimental effect on people’s liberal rights.
On the one hand, private vehicles such as cars, truck or even motorcycle are common among people in these days, because they help people to depart in the city unwindly, and individuals do not need to wait for buses or trams. On the contrary, these transportations consist of many vulnerable gases such as CO2 that compromise the surrounding environment. The fewer the vehicles moving on the road, the more refreshed the atmosphere is.
On the other hand, using only public tranpsort can reduce the amount of CO2 emitted to the atmosphere, which increases the overall air quality in the city. Because we have many means of transport such as electronic buss, subways, and taxis, which are eco-friendly. Therefore, commuters may not only preserve the environment but also travelling efficiently around the metropolis. However, while engaging in railway, people have to wait for their turns and also need to stand instead of sitting when there are no available spaces, which are uncomfortable and uneasy. Consequently, governments should only apply this method if they expand more availabe and convenient ways for city dwellers to commute around the city.
In conclusion, considering all the aforementioned reasons, we must prioritize the conservation of the environment first. Thus, the authorities should focus on enhancing public transport to exchange the recent private transportations completely.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"vehicle free day" -> "car-free day"
Explanation: The term "vehicle free day" is vague and could encompass all types of vehicles. "Car-free day" specifically targets private cars, which is more precise and relevant to the context of urban transportation. -
"only bus, bicycle and taxi are permitted" -> "only buses, bicycles, and taxis are permitted"
Explanation: Adding the plural form "buses, bicycles, and taxis" corrects the grammatical error and maintains consistency in plural usage. -
"metropolis center" -> "city center"
Explanation: "Metropolis" is typically used to describe a large city, but "city center" is more commonly used to refer to the central area of a city, making it more appropriate in this context. -
"moving around the city by public transport" -> "traveling around the city via public transportation"
Explanation: "Traveling via public transportation" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"unwindly" -> "freely"
Explanation: "Unwindly" is not a standard word and is likely a typographical error. "Freely" is the correct adverb to describe unrestricted movement. -
"these transportations" -> "these modes of transportation"
Explanation: "Modes of transportation" is the correct term for referring to different types of vehicles, enhancing the formality and clarity of the sentence. -
"compromise the surrounding environment" -> "adversely affect the surrounding environment"
Explanation: "Adversely affect" is a more precise and formal way to describe the negative impact on the environment. -
"the fewer the vehicles moving on the road, the more refreshed the atmosphere is" -> "the fewer vehicles on the road, the cleaner the atmosphere becomes"
Explanation: "The cleaner the atmosphere becomes" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the improvement in air quality. -
"using only public tranpsort" -> "using only public transportation"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "transportation." -
"electronic buss" -> "electric buses"
Explanation: "Electric buses" is the correct term, and "electronic" is not typically used to describe vehicles. -
"subways" -> "subway systems"
Explanation: "Subway systems" is a more precise term, as it refers to the comprehensive network of underground rail lines. -
"travelling efficiently" -> "traveling efficiently"
Explanation: "Traveling" is the correct form of the verb in this context. -
"engage in railway" -> "use the railway"
Explanation: "Use the railway" is a more natural and precise way to describe the act of utilizing public transportation. -
"stand instead of sitting" -> "stand or sit"
Explanation: "Stand or sit" is a more accurate description of the varying conditions on public transportation, as it acknowledges that people may not always have a choice between the two. -
"availabe" -> "available"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "available." -
"completely" -> "completely" (no change needed)
Explanation: The word "completely" is already correct and does not require change. -
"exchange the recent private transportations" -> "replace current private transportation"
Explanation: "Replace current private transportation" is clearer and more formal, improving the flow and precision of the sentence.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a vehicle-free day in the city center. The author highlights the benefits of reduced air pollution and improved air quality, while also mentioning the negative impact on personal freedom and convenience. However, the discussion of disadvantages is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the advantages. For instance, while the essay mentions discomfort in public transport, it does not fully explore other potential drawbacks, such as economic impacts on businesses reliant on vehicle traffic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should aim to provide a more balanced discussion of both sides. This could involve elaborating on the disadvantages with specific examples, such as how businesses might suffer from reduced customer access or how some individuals may have mobility issues that make public transport less viable.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that supports the idea of vehicle-free days, emphasizing environmental benefits. However, the mention of "detrimental effect on people’s liberal rights" introduces some ambiguity regarding the author’s stance. The position could be perceived as conflicted, as it suggests both support for environmental measures and concern for personal freedoms without fully reconciling these views.
- How to improve: The author should strive for consistency in their position by clearly articulating how the benefits of environmental conservation outweigh the drawbacks of personal inconvenience. This could be achieved by explicitly stating that while personal freedoms are important, the urgent need for environmental protection necessitates such measures.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the reduction of CO2 emissions and the improvement of air quality, but the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the mention of "electronic buses, subways, and taxis" as eco-friendly options is a good start, but the author does not provide specific data or examples to strengthen this point. Additionally, the discussion of public transport discomfort lacks depth and could benefit from further elaboration.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that demonstrate the environmental benefits of reduced vehicle use. Additionally, providing more detailed explanations of the disadvantages, perhaps with anecdotal evidence or hypothetical scenarios, would enhance the overall argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of a vehicle-free day. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off course, such as when the author mentions "depart in the city unwindly," which could be clearer and more relevant to the main argument. Some sentences also contain grammatical errors that distract from the main points.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of vehicle-free days. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will help ensure that the ideas are communicated effectively and that the essay remains coherent throughout.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, enhancing the balance of advantages and disadvantages, providing more substantial support for ideas, and ensuring clarity and coherence will help elevate the score further.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of vehicle-free days to the drawbacks is somewhat abrupt. The first body paragraph focuses on the drawbacks of banning private vehicles, while the second body paragraph highlights the advantages of public transport, but the connection between these points could be clearer. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps to delineate the two perspectives, but the overall argument could benefit from a more cohesive linking of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the drawbacks of private vehicles, a sentence could be added to transition into the benefits of public transport, such as, "Despite these drawbacks, the advantages of utilizing public transport cannot be overlooked." This would create a smoother flow and reinforce the relationship between the points being made.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph could be more focused. It mixes the discussion of the inconvenience of public transport with the environmental impact of private vehicles, which may confuse readers about the main point being made.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. The first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing solely on the drawbacks of private vehicles and the other on the inconveniences of public transport. This would help maintain clarity and allow each point to be developed more thoroughly.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the contrary," and "However." These devices help to signal contrasting ideas. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the repeated use of "However" at the beginning of sentences can detract from the overall fluidity of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "However," alternatives like "Nevertheless," "On the flip side," or "Conversely" can be used. Additionally, using devices that indicate cause and effect, such as "As a result" or "Consequently," can enhance the logical connections between ideas.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, improvements in logical organization, paragraph focus, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "contemporary world," "gridlock," "detrimental effect," and "eco-friendly." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation, such as the repeated use of "transport" and "vehicles." Additionally, phrases like "depart in the city unwindly" are awkward and suggest a limited command of more nuanced vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "transport," alternatives like "public transit," "commuting options," or "mobility solutions" could be employed. Furthermore, refining awkward phrases would improve clarity and sophistication. For instance, "travel around the city comfortably" would be a more precise expression than "depart in the city unwindly."
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are notable instances of imprecise usage. For example, "vulnerable gases" is not a standard term; "harmful emissions" or "greenhouse gases" would be more appropriate. Additionally, the phrase "the fewer the vehicles moving on the road" is grammatically awkward and could be expressed more clearly as "fewer vehicles on the road."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using established collocations and phrases that accurately convey their intended meaning. Reviewing vocabulary in context can help identify more appropriate terms. For instance, instead of "engaging in railway," using "utilizing rail transport" would enhance clarity and precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "tranpsort" (transport), "availabe" (available), and "buss" (buses). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and reviewing vocabulary lists can help reinforce correct spelling. Keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words may also be beneficial for future writing tasks.
In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage of terms, and improving spelling accuracy through diligent practice and proofreading.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "From my perspective, I agree that moving around the city by public transport can reduce air pollution, gridlock, however, this approach will have a detrimental effect on people’s liberal rights." However, there are instances of repetitive sentence patterns, particularly in the use of simple and compound sentences. The essay also lacks more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied subordinate clauses, which could enhance the overall complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, they could use conditional clauses (e.g., "If more people used public transport, air quality would improve") or relative clauses (e.g., "Public transport, which is often underutilized, can significantly reduce pollution"). Engaging with varied sentence openings and embedding additional information within sentences can also contribute to a richer grammatical range.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "bicycle and taxi are permitted in city center" should be "bicycles and taxis are permitted in the city center." Additionally, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, such as "transportations consist of many vulnerable gases" where "transportations" should be "transportation." Punctuation errors include the misuse of commas, particularly in the sentence "From my perspective, I agree that moving around the city by public transport can reduce air pollution, gridlock, however, this approach will have a detrimental effect on people’s liberal rights," where a period or semicolon would be more appropriate than a comma before "however."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules. They can benefit from proofreading their work to catch punctuation errors, particularly the correct use of commas and conjunctions. Additionally, reviewing grammar rules related to sentence structure and practicing writing sentences in various forms can help solidify their understanding. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also aid in identifying and correcting mistakes before finalizing their essays.
Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and relevant points, addressing the identified weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will significantly improve the overall quality and coherence of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the contemporary world, some people believe that vehicle-free days should be more prevalent around the world. This means that only buses, bicycles, and taxis are permitted in the city center, while private cars, trucks, and motorbikes are banned in the metropolis center. From my perspective, I agree that traveling around the city via public transportation can reduce air pollution and gridlock; however, this approach will have a detrimental effect on people’s liberties.
On the one hand, private vehicles such as cars, trucks, or even motorcycles are common among people these days because they help individuals to travel in the city freely, and they do not need to wait for buses or trams. On the contrary, these modes of transportation emit many harmful gases such as CO2 that adversely affect the surrounding environment. The fewer vehicles moving on the road, the cleaner the atmosphere becomes.
On the other hand, using only public transportation can reduce the amount of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere, which increases the overall air quality in the city. We have many means of transport such as electric buses, subways, and taxis, which are eco-friendly. Therefore, commuters may not only preserve the environment but also travel efficiently around the metropolis. However, while using the railway, people have to wait for their turns and also need to stand instead of sitting when there are no available spaces, which can be uncomfortable and inconvenient. Consequently, governments should only apply this method if they expand more available and convenient ways for city dwellers to commute around the city.
In conclusion, considering all the aforementioned reasons, we must prioritize the conservation of the environment first. Thus, the authorities should focus on enhancing public transport to completely replace current private transportation.