What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad?

In the age of globalization, there is an increasing rate of people leaving their country to live and study abroad. There definitely are some pros and cons in doing this and I will explain this in this essay.
Firstly, one of the greatest benefits that moving to another country can bring to an individual is expanding their knowledge. Moving to a new country means you need to adapt to a whole new, different culture, food, lifestyle or even different time zone and weather. Being in an unfamiliar surrounding can be quite a shock at first; however, this is also an interesting part of leaving your country, a chance to augment your knowledge on culture and society. Moreover, living or studying abroad can make you have better career prospects. Being able to adjust to a new environment requires from us a lot of necessary traits in work such as confidence, positiveness, independence. Having these traits can be an advantage when you apply for a job.
On the other hand, living and studying abroad can have some setbacks. Living in a country without your friends and family or your favourite food from your home will make you feel homesick. You can get really depressed and lonely from missing your friends and your family. If this state continues for a long time, your life can be affected both mentally and physically. In addition, learning the language of the country you live in can be quite a challenge for a lot of people. Some people leave their country only knowing English can have a lot of difficulties surpassing the language barrier, making new friends if they decided to study in a country where English is not the main language. This can deepen the homesick and depressing feelings.
In conclusion, changing your usual life is always a big challenge; however, it depends on the people who experience this. Some might take this as a grain of salt, while others might not be able to overcome these disadvantages. Thus, whether leaving your country to study and integrate into a new country is worth it or not depends on the person who chooses this path.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the age of globalization" -> "In the era of globalization"
Explanation: "Era" is a more formal and precise term than "age," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts to describe a period characterized by a particular phenomenon like globalization.
"There is an increasing rate of people" -> "There is an increasing number of individuals"
Explanation: "Number of individuals" is more precise and formal than "rate of people," which is less commonly used in academic writing and can be ambiguous.
"There definitely are some pros and cons" -> "There are undoubtedly some advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Undoubtedly" is more formal and academically appropriate than "definitely," which can sound colloquial. "Advantages and disadvantages" is also more formal than "pros and cons."
"expanding their knowledge" -> "enhancing their knowledge"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more precise term in academic contexts, suggesting improvement or refinement, whereas "expanding" can imply a broader scope but not necessarily improvement.
"Moving to a new country means you need to adapt" -> "Residing in a new country necessitates adaptation"
Explanation: "Residing" is more formal than "moving," and "necessitates adaptation" is more precise and formal than "means you need to adapt."
"Being in an unfamiliar surrounding" -> "Being in an unfamiliar environment"
Explanation: "Environment" is the correct term for the context of discussing cultural and societal aspects, whereas "surrounding" is less specific and less formal.
"a chance to augment your knowledge" -> "an opportunity to expand your knowledge"
Explanation: "An opportunity" is more formal and appropriate in academic writing than "a chance," and "expand" is more commonly used in academic contexts than "augment."
"can make you have better career prospects" -> "can enhance your career prospects"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise and formal than "make you have," which is awkwardly phrased and informal.
"requires from us a lot of necessary traits" -> "requires numerous essential traits"
Explanation: "Requires numerous essential traits" is more concise and formal than "requires a lot of necessary traits," which is verbose and informal.
"can be an advantage when you apply for a job" -> "can be advantageous when applying for employment"
Explanation: "Advantageous" is more formal and precise than "an advantage," and "applying for employment" is more formal than "apply for a job."
"Some people leave their country only knowing English" -> "Some individuals depart their country with only English proficiency"
Explanation: "Depart" is more formal than "leave," and "with only English proficiency" is more precise and formal than "only knowing English."
"can have a lot of difficulties surpassing the language barrier" -> "may encounter significant challenges in overcoming the language barrier"
Explanation: "May encounter significant challenges" is more formal and precise than "can have a lot of difficulties," and "overcoming" is more commonly used in academic contexts than "surpassing."
"This can deepen the homesick and depressing feelings" -> "This can exacerbate feelings of homesickness and depression"
Explanation: "Exacerbate" is a more precise and formal term than "deepen," and "feelings of homesickness and depression" is more specific and formal than "homesick and depressing feelings."
"changing your usual life is always a big challenge" -> "altering one’s usual life is always a significant challenge"
Explanation: "Altering" is more formal than "changing," and "significant" is more precise than "big" in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of leaving one’s country to live or study abroad. The author presents a clear structure, with the first half dedicated to advantages, such as expanding knowledge and improving career prospects, and the second half discussing disadvantages, including homesickness and language barriers. Each point is relevant to the prompt, and the author provides specific examples to illustrate these points.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, citing studies on the career benefits of studying abroad or personal anecdotes could provide a stronger foundation for the arguments.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, acknowledging that the experience of living abroad can vary significantly from person to person. The conclusion reiterates this point, emphasizing that the worth of such an experience depends on individual perspectives. However, the introduction could be more assertive in outlining the author’s stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction. For example, they could mention whether they believe the benefits of living abroad generally outweigh the drawbacks, which would guide the reader’s understanding of the essay’s direction.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Each idea is introduced and supported with explanations. For example, the discussion on homesickness is well-developed, explaining its potential impact on mental and physical health. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration, particularly the advantages, which could be more detailed.
- How to improve: The author should aim to extend their ideas further by providing more in-depth analysis and examples. For instance, when discussing career prospects, they could elaborate on how specific skills gained from living abroad can enhance employability in certain fields.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph contributing to the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of living or studying abroad. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the author effectively ties their points back to the main question.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author could improve coherence by using more transitional phrases between points. This would help the reader follow the argument more smoothly and reinforce the connections between ideas. For example, using phrases like "In addition to this" or "Conversely" could enhance the flow of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the complexities of the topic. With some enhancements in example usage, position clarity, idea extension, and coherence, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The flow of ideas is generally logical, moving from the benefits of living abroad to the drawbacks. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of expanding knowledge to career prospects is smooth. However, the connection between the ideas could be strengthened. The discussion of homesickness and language barriers could be more explicitly linked to the overall theme of challenges faced when living abroad.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "Conversely" can help clarify the relationship between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to advantages and another to disadvantages. Each paragraph contains relevant information, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer separation between the two main advantages discussed, as they are somewhat merged together.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. Start with a strong topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple points, ensuring each paragraph addresses a single aspect of the discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the other hand," and "In addition." These devices help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be made clearer. For example, the transition between discussing homesickness and language barriers could be more explicitly linked to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Moreover," "Consequently," or "As a result" to show relationships between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a stronger performance in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "globalization," "adapt," "culture," and "career prospects" effectively used. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "living and studying abroad," which appears multiple times without variation. The use of synonyms or more varied expressions could enhance the richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "living and studying abroad," you could use "overseas education" or "international experience." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary, such as "cultural immersion" or "professional opportunities," would elevate the essay’s lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its points clearly, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary. For example, the phrase "make you have better career prospects" could be more effectively expressed as "enhance your career prospects." Additionally, the term "positiveness" is less commonly used; "positivity" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: Focus on refining vocabulary for clarity and precision. Review phrases and consider whether they convey the intended meaning effectively. For instance, instead of "can make you have," use "can lead to" or "can result in." This not only improves precision but also contributes to a more formal tone suitable for an academic essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "homesick" (which is correctly spelled) but lacks attention to detail in other areas. The phrase "surpassing the language barrier" should be "overcoming the language barrier." While the overall spelling is mostly accurate, minor errors can detract from the overall impression.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial for long-term improvement.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Moving to a new country means you need to adapt to a whole new, different culture, food, lifestyle or even different time zone and weather" effectively combines multiple clauses to convey a comprehensive idea. Additionally, the use of phrases like "On the other hand" and "In addition" helps to structure the argument clearly. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way benefits and drawbacks are introduced, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "one of the greatest benefits," try alternatives like "a significant advantage" or "a notable benefit." Additionally, experiment with more complex sentence forms, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences, to add depth to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, in the phrase "Some people leave their country only knowing English can have a lot of difficulties surpassing the language barrier," the structure is awkward and could be misinterpreted. The intended meaning is obscured due to the lack of a conjunction or punctuation to separate the clauses. Furthermore, punctuation is occasionally misused, such as in the list "culture, food, lifestyle or even different time zone and weather," where a comma before "or" (Oxford comma) could enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on sentence clarity by ensuring that clauses are properly connected. For the problematic sentence mentioned, consider restructuring it to: "Some people who leave their country only knowing English may face significant difficulties in overcoming the language barrier." Additionally, review punctuation rules, particularly for lists and complex sentences, to ensure that your writing is clear and easy to follow. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reading well-structured essays can also help reinforce these skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the identified weaknesses will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the era of globalization, there is an increasing number of individuals leaving their country to live and study abroad. There are undoubtedly some advantages and disadvantages to doing this, and I will explain them in this essay.

Firstly, one of the greatest benefits that moving to another country can bring to an individual is enhancing their knowledge. Moving to a new country means you need to adapt to a whole new, different culture, food, lifestyle, or even a different time zone and weather. Being in an unfamiliar environment can be quite a shock at first; however, this is also an interesting part of leaving your country, as it presents an opportunity to expand your knowledge of culture and society. Moreover, living or studying abroad can enhance your career prospects. Being able to adjust to a new environment requires numerous essential traits in work, such as confidence, positivity, and independence. Having these traits can be advantageous when applying for employment.

On the other hand, living and studying abroad can have some setbacks. Residing in a country without your friends and family or your favorite food from home can make you feel homesick. You may feel really depressed and lonely from missing your friends and family. If this state continues for a long time, your life can be affected both mentally and physically. In addition, learning the language of the country you live in can be quite a challenge for many people. Some individuals depart their country with only English proficiency and may encounter significant challenges in overcoming the language barrier, making new friends if they decide to study in a country where English is not the main language. This can exacerbate feelings of homesickness and depression.

In conclusion, altering one’s usual life is always a significant challenge; however, it depends on the individuals who experience this. Some might take this as a grain of salt, while others might not be able to overcome these disadvantages. Thus, whether leaving your country to study and integrate into a new country is worth it or not depends on the person who chooses this path.