What happens as contacting with exposures. When do allergy happen.

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Errors and Improvements:

"What happens as contacting with exposures." -> "What occurs upon exposure."
Explanation: The phrase "contacting with exposures" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Upon exposure" is a more concise and formal expression that conveys the same meaning.
"When do allergy happen." -> "When do allergies occur."
Explanation: "Allergy happen" is grammatically incorrect. Using "allergies occur" maintains proper subject-verb agreement and enhances the formal tone of the question.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 2

Band Score for Task Response: 2 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay fails to adequately address all parts of the question. It briefly mentions the concept of "exposures" and "allergy," but there is no detailed analysis or exploration of these ideas. The essay lacks clarity in defining what "exposures" refer to and when exactly allergies occur.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay needs to thoroughly analyze the concept of "exposures" and provide a clear definition. Additionally, it should delve into the factors that trigger allergies, such as environmental factors, genetics, and immune system responses.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does not present a clear position or argument throughout. It merely states the prompt without offering any perspective or stance. There is no indication of the author’s opinion or viewpoint on the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay should establish a clear stance or argument from the beginning and consistently support it throughout the essay. This can be achieved by providing examples, evidence, and logical reasoning to bolster the author’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks in presenting, extending, and supporting ideas. It merely restates the prompt without providing any elaboration or expansion. There are no supporting details, examples, or explanations to bolster the central concepts.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, it should present ideas in a more detailed and comprehensive manner. This can be achieved by providing specific examples, case studies, research findings, or personal anecdotes to illustrate key points and enhance understanding.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to stay on topic. While it mentions "exposures" and "allergies," it does not delve into these concepts in a meaningful way. There is a lack of focus, and the essay fails to provide a coherent discussion related to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain relevance, the essay should stick closely to the topic and avoid tangential discussions. It’s crucial to stay focused on addressing the prompt directly and providing relevant insights and analysis.

In summary, the essay falls short in addressing the prompt comprehensively, lacks a clear position or argument, fails to extend and support ideas effectively, and struggles to stay on topic. To improve, the author should focus on providing detailed analysis, presenting a clear stance, supporting ideas with evidence, and maintaining relevance to the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 3

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear organization of information, making it challenging for the reader to follow the writer’s train of thought. There is no discernible introduction, body paragraphs, or conclusion. Additionally, the absence of topic sentences further contributes to the lack of logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow and structure of the essay, the writer should start by providing a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each body paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the topic, with a topic sentence introducing the main idea of the paragraph. Transition phrases should be used to connect ideas between paragraphs, providing a smoother progression of thoughts.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does not utilize paragraphs effectively. It consists of a single unbroken block of text, which makes it visually overwhelming and difficult to read. Without distinct paragraphs, the organization of ideas is unclear, and the essay lacks coherence.
- How to improve: Breaking the essay into paragraphs would significantly improve its readability and coherence. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or aspect of the topic. The writer should consider structuring the essay with an introduction, multiple body paragraphs addressing different aspects of contacting exposures and allergy occurrences, and a conclusion summarizing key points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: Cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases and linking words, are virtually nonexistent in the essay. As a result, the connections between ideas are weak, and the progression of thoughts is disjointed. This lack of cohesive devices hampers the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance coherence, the writer should incorporate a variety of cohesive devices throughout the essay. These may include transitional phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "however," "in addition"), pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, and repetition of key terms or concepts for reinforcement. By using cohesive devices effectively, the writer can establish clear relationships between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, its coherence and cohesion are significantly lacking. To improve, the writer should focus on organizing information logically, using paragraphs effectively, and incorporating a range of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 3

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in vocabulary, primarily due to the repetition of words and the absence of nuanced or sophisticated terms. For instance, the repetition of "contacting" and "exposures" throughout the essay demonstrates a limited lexical range. Additionally, the essay does not utilize synonyms or alternative expressions to convey ideas, resulting in a lack of depth and complexity in vocabulary usage.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to diversify their vocabulary by incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and specialized terminology related to the topic of allergies and exposures. For example, instead of repeatedly using "contacting," the writer could employ variations such as "interacting with," "encountering," or "being exposed to." Furthermore, introducing specific terms related to allergic reactions and triggers would enrich the vocabulary and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits imprecise vocabulary usage, contributing to ambiguity and lack of clarity in conveying ideas. For instance, the phrase "What happens as contacting with exposures" is grammatically awkward and unclear, making it difficult for the reader to discern the intended meaning. Similarly, the phrase "When do allergy happen" lacks precision in language usage, failing to articulate the specific conditions or triggers that lead to allergies.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should focus on articulating ideas with clarity and specificity. This involves carefully selecting words and phrases that accurately convey the intended meaning. Instead of vague language, such as "contacting with exposures," the writer should use precise terms to describe the process of encountering allergens or irritants. Similarly, the question "When do allergies happen" could be refined to specify the circumstances or factors that precipitate allergic reactions, such as "What are the common triggers for allergies?" or "Under what conditions do allergic responses occur?"
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with no apparent errors detected in the text. However, the overall linguistic quality is hindered by other lexical shortcomings, such as limited vocabulary and imprecise language usage.
- How to improve: While spelling accuracy is satisfactory in this instance, the writer should prioritize improving overall lexical proficiency to enhance the quality and effectiveness of communication. Engaging in regular reading and vocabulary expansion exercises can help familiarize the writer with a broader range of words and improve their ability to express ideas with precision and clarity.

Overall, to elevate the lexical resource and improve the essay’s effectiveness, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary, using language precisely, and striving for clarity and coherence in expression. Incorporating varied vocabulary, employing precise terminology, and refining language usage will enhance the overall quality of the writing and better engage the reader.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in sentence structures, predominantly consisting of simple declarative sentences. There is a notable absence of complex or compound sentences, limiting the range and depth of expression. For instance, the essay primarily follows a subject-verb-object pattern without incorporating clauses or phrases for added complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity of the essay, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures such as compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. Introduce subordinate clauses, relative clauses, and participial phrases to provide additional information and nuance to your ideas. Varying sentence structures will not only improve coherence and cohesion but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and lacks proper punctuation. For example, the phrase "What happens as contacting with exposures" lacks subject-verb agreement and clarity. Additionally, there are missing articles ("a," "the") throughout the essay, which impacts the overall fluency and coherence. Punctuation marks such as commas and periods are inconsistently used, leading to run-on sentences or fragmented ideas.
- How to improve: Focus on mastering basic grammar rules, including subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofread your essay carefully to identify and correct errors in punctuation. Pay close attention to sentence boundaries and ensure that each sentence is properly punctuated. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify recurring grammatical issues and practice incorporating corrections into your writing. Additionally, utilizing grammar-checking tools can help in identifying and rectifying errors more effectively.

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