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What languages can you speak?

What languages can you speak?

I can speak VNese,which is my mother tongue. Another poit which i could add is that i always want to learn korean to study abroad in the furture.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "I can speak VNese" -> "I am proficient in Vietnamese"
    Explanation: "VNese" is an informal and colloquial term for Vietnamese. Using "I am proficient in Vietnamese" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning better with academic standards.

  2. "which is my mother tongue" -> "which is my native language"
    Explanation: While "mother tongue" is correct, "native language" is a more precise and formal term in academic contexts, emphasizing the speaker’s linguistic origin.

  3. "Another poit which i could add is that" -> "Another point I would like to add is that"
    Explanation: "Poit" is a typographical error and "i" should be capitalized as "I" for proper grammar. The revised phrase corrects these errors and improves the formal tone.

  4. "i always want to learn korean" -> "I always aspire to learn Korean"
    Explanation: "I" should be capitalized, and "aspire to" is more formal than "want," which is too casual for academic writing. Also, "Korean" should be capitalized as it refers to a proper noun.

  5. "to study abroad in the furture" -> "to study abroad in the future"
    Explanation: "Furture" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "future." This change ensures the text is free of errors and maintains professionalism.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the question by mentioning the languages the writer can speak (VNese) and expressing a desire to learn Korean in the future. However, it does not fully explore the reasons behind wanting to learn Korean or how it relates to the prompt.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should provide more details about their proficiency in VNese, discuss any experiences related to language learning, and elaborate on the importance of learning Korean for their future plans.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear position throughout. While it mentions the languages the writer can speak and wants to learn, there is no clear stance or argument presented.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer should clearly state their position on language learning, provide reasons for wanting to learn Korean, and maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay briefly presents the languages the writer can speak and their desire to learn Korean. However, these ideas are not developed or supported with examples or explanations.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should expand on their language abilities, provide reasons for wanting to learn Korean, and support their ideas with personal anecdotes or experiences.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay somewhat stays on topic by discussing the languages the writer can speak and their desire to learn Korean. However, it lacks depth and focus on the prompt.
    • How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should delve deeper into their language abilities, explain the significance of learning Korean, and ensure that all content directly relates to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

  • Organize Information Logically: – Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and logical organization of information. The introduction does not clearly state the languages the writer can speak, and the transition to discussing the desire to learn Korean is abrupt.

    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, start by clearly stating the languages you can speak in the introduction. Then, transition smoothly to discussing your desire to learn Korean, providing a clear connection between the two points.
  • **Use Paragraphs

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks proper paragraphing, as it is one continuous block of text. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow the different ideas presented.
    • How to improve: Break down your essay into paragraphs to separate different ideas. Start a new paragraph when introducing a new point or transitioning to a different topic. This will improve readability and clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the overall coherence. There are no transitions or linking words/phrases used to guide the reader through the essay.
    • How to improve: Incorporate cohesive devices such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," etc., to connect ideas and create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your thoughts more easily.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with repetitive use of basic words such as "speak" and "learn." There is a lack of variety in expressing ideas related to language proficiency.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating synonyms and more descriptive language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "speak," you could use terms like "communicate in," "fluent in," or "converse using." This will add depth and richness to your vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks precision in vocabulary usage, leading to vague and simplistic expressions. For example, the phrase "I can speak VNese" could be improved by specifying the language as "Vietnamese." Additionally, the term "poit" appears to be a typographical error, which affects the clarity of communication.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, pay attention to the specific terms used to describe languages and language learning. Avoid abbreviations or informal language in academic writing. Proofreading for typographical errors is crucial to ensure clarity and accuracy in vocabulary usage.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains spelling errors such as "VNese" instead of "Vietnamese" and "poit" instead of "point." These errors detract from the overall quality of the essay and suggest a lack of attention to detail.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider using spell-check tools or asking someone to proofread your work before submission. Developing a habit of reviewing your writing for spelling errors can significantly enhance the professionalism and credibility of your essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
-Use a Wide Range of Structures**:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a wide range of sentence structures. It primarily consists of simple sentences with minimal complexity. There is a lack of variety in sentence structures, which affects the overall fluency and sophistication of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures such as compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. This can be achieved by using conjunctions, relative clauses, and other advanced grammatical structures to add depth and complexity to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks proper punctuation. For example, "VNese" should be written as "Vietnamese," "poit" should be "point," and "furture" should be "future." Additionally, there are issues with capitalization and sentence structure.
    • How to improve: To improve grammar and punctuation accuracy, it is essential to proofread your work carefully. Pay attention to spelling, capitalization, and punctuation rules. Consider using grammar checkers or seeking feedback from others to identify and correct errors in your writing. Additionally, practice writing complex sentences and pay attention to sentence structure to enhance the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

“I am proficient in Vietnamese, which is my native language. Another point I would like to add is that I always aspire to learn Korean to study abroad in the future.”

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