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When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most crucial aspect when constructing a building is the intended use of the building. While this could be justifiable in some aspects, there are more reasonable grounds that the external appearance plays an important role in creating a new building. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the overall appearance of a building should be more highly valued than a construction’s purpose.

On this hand, the construction’s purpose is crucial for a number of reasons. To begin with, buildings should be built to meet the individual’s needs. In other words, the construction after building should address the problem in regular life such as housing. For example, a building apartment are constructed to provide accommodation for people have a need for buying an apartment. In addition, considering the intended use of the construction can also assist architects in making a plan to build that construction. This means that the architectures can add more specialized facilities or adjust the design of the construction in order to improve the function of that construction.

On the other hand, the argument that the interior design of a building should be highly considered is more reasonable. The external design of a building can contribute to the overall beauty of a city. For example, Landmark 81, is considered to be a symbol of Ho Chi Minh City due to its unique design. This skyscraper is known to be one of the most beautiful attractions, which attracts a lot of foreign tourists to visit and observe. Besides, buildings that have appealing external designs may have higher value when compared to other buildings. Such buildings may be evaluated higher and gain more attraction by the inhabitants and customers, which is beneficial to the investors to resell these buildings.

In conclusion, although the intended purpose should be considered to a certain extent, there are more compelling reasons why the exterior design should be highly evaluated. It is suggested that the architects should pay more attention to the overall design of a building.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "On this hand" -> "On the one hand"
    Explanation: The phrase "On this hand" is informal and less precise. The recommended change to "On the one hand" is a more formal and established way to introduce the first of two contrasting points.

  2. "construction after building" -> "constructed building"
    Explanation: The phrase "construction after building" is awkward and unclear. The revised version, "constructed building," is more concise and grammatically correct, improving the overall clarity of the sentence.

  3. "people have a need for buying an apartment" -> "individuals seeking to purchase a residence"
    Explanation: The original phrase is less formal, and "people have a need for buying an apartment" could be expressed more elegantly. The suggested alternative, "individuals seeking to purchase a residence," is more refined and aligns better with academic style.

  4. "architectures" -> "architects"
    Explanation: The term "architectures" is not the correct plural form of "architect." The appropriate term is "architects," which maintains a formal and accurate vocabulary.

  5. "in regular life" -> "in everyday life"
    Explanation: The phrase "in regular life" is somewhat informal. Replacing it with "in everyday life" enhances the formality and clarity of the statement.

  6. "Landmark 81, is considered" -> "Landmark 81 is considered"
    Explanation: The comma after "Landmark 81" is unnecessary and disrupts the grammatical flow. Removing the comma provides a cleaner and more academically appropriate structure.

  7. "which attracts a lot of foreign tourists to visit and observe" -> "drawing a significant number of international tourists for visits and observation"
    Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. The revised version is more concise and employs more formal language, contributing to a more academic tone.

  8. "Besides" -> "Additionally"
    Explanation: While "Besides" is not incorrect, using "Additionally" enhances the formality of the transition, aligning it better with academic writing standards.

  9. "may be evaluated higher" -> "may receive higher evaluations"
    Explanation: The phrase "may be evaluated higher" is less formal. The suggested change, "may receive higher evaluations," maintains formality and clarity.

  10. "beneficial to the investors to resell these buildings" -> "beneficial for investors looking to resell these properties"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and could be expressed more smoothly. The suggested alternative is more concise and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the importance of the intended use of a building and also argues that external appearance holds more significance. However, the explanation for favoring external appearance could be more nuanced, providing a more balanced perspective on the interplay between purpose and appearance.
    • How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider acknowledging the importance of both aspects—intended use and external appearance. Provide examples or scenarios where the balance between the two is crucial.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance in favor of the external appearance of a building. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the writer effectively communicates their viewpoint.
    • How to improve: No specific improvements needed in this area. The clarity and consistency of the position are strong.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in extending and supporting them. For instance, the point about buildings meeting individual needs is mentioned but could benefit from further elaboration and examples.
    • How to improve: Develop each idea more thoroughly. Provide specific examples to illustrate points, ensuring a deeper exploration of the relationship between intended use and external appearance.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but slightly deviates when discussing the external design’s impact on a city’s beauty. While relevant, this could be more tightly connected to the main argument.
    • How to improve: Ensure that all points made are directly related to the central argument. Tie in the external design’s impact on a city’s beauty more explicitly to the overall importance of external appearance in building design.

In summary, the essay effectively presents a clear position but would benefit from more nuanced consideration of the importance of both intended use and external appearance. Additionally, enhancing the depth of ideas and ensuring all points directly contribute to the main argument will strengthen the overall response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction clearly presents the writer’s stance, followed by body paragraphs that discuss both the importance of the building’s purpose and external appearance. However, there is room for improvement in the overall coherence. The transition between paragraphs could be smoother, and the development of ideas within each paragraph could be more seamless. For instance, the shift from discussing the importance of the building’s purpose to the external design in the second paragraph is somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Consider using transition words or phrases to guide the reader through the progression of your argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, with ideas logically building upon each other.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, with the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion clearly delineated. However, the development within paragraphs can be refined. For example, in the second paragraph, the shift from discussing the individual’s needs to assisting architects in making a plan could be presented more cohesively.
    • How to improve: Pay attention to the internal structure of paragraphs. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Ensure that supporting details and examples within the paragraph directly relate to and reinforce that main idea. This will enhance both coherence and cohesion within paragraphs.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitions (e.g., "On this hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion") and pronouns. However, there is a need for more varied and sophisticated cohesive devices to create a smoother flow. The use of cohesive devices is generally adequate but could be more strategic to strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Expand your use of cohesive devices to include a variety of conjunctions, adverbs, and transitional phrases. Ensure that these devices not only connect sentences but also contribute to the overall coherence by guiding the reader through the logical progression of ideas. Consider using parallel structure and repetition strategically to reinforce key points and enhance cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some use of varied terms such as "crucial," "justifiable," and "compelling reasons." However, there is room for improvement, as certain ideas are expressed using repetitive vocabulary, like the frequent use of "construction" and "building."
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary diversity, consider incorporating more synonyms and using different expressions to convey similar ideas. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "construction" and "building," experiment with alternatives like "structure" or "edifice."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, terms like "Landmark 81" and "skyscraper" are specific, while phrases like "on this hand" and "more reasonable grounds" are somewhat vague.
    • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by avoiding ambiguous phrases and opting for more concrete language. Replace vague expressions with specific terms or provide detailed examples to support your points. For instance, instead of saying "on this hand," explicitly state the contrasting viewpoint.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout, with only a few minor errors, such as "architectures" instead of "architects" and "construction’s" instead of "construction’s."
    • How to improve: Continue to prioritize spelling accuracy, and proofread the essay to catch minor errors. Specifically, be cautious with possessive forms and ensure correct pluralization. Additionally, consider using a spell-check tool to identify and correct any overlooked errors.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates an acceptable level of lexical resource, improvements can be made in vocabulary range, precision, and minor spelling details. Expanding the variety of terms used, enhancing precision, and maintaining consistent spelling accuracy will contribute to an overall improvement in the lexical aspect of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences are used predominantly, with limited use of complex structures. For instance, the introduction employs a compound sentence ("While this could be justifiable…") and the body paragraphs contain basic structures like "To begin with" and "On the other hand." However, the complexity and variety within these structures are somewhat limited, affecting the overall fluency and sophistication of the essay.

    • How to improve: To enhance the score, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures. Utilize a mix of compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. For example, introduce relative clauses, participial phrases, or inverted sentence structures. This will elevate the essay’s grammatical range, making it more engaging for the reader.

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are instances of errors that slightly impede clarity. For example, "On this hand" should be corrected to "On the one hand." Additionally, in the sentence "This skyscraper is known to be one of the most beautiful attractions, which attracts a lot of foreign tourists to visit and observe," the relative pronoun "which" creates a potential ambiguity about what attracts tourists.

    • How to improve: Carefully proofread for minor grammatical errors and ensure the correct usage of idiomatic expressions. Specifically, use "On the one hand" for better clarity. Moreover, consider rephrasing sentences to eliminate potential ambiguities. For instance, in the mentioned sentence, you could restructure it as "This skyscraper, known for its unique design, attracts a significant number of foreign tourists."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a competent command of grammar and punctuation, with room for improvement in sentence structure variety and subtle grammatical refinements. To achieve a higher score, focus on incorporating a more diverse range of sentence structures while maintaining grammatical precision and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The most crucial aspect when constructing a building is its intended use. While this viewpoint is understandable, there are more reasonable grounds to argue that the external appearance plays a vital role in creating a new building. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the overall appearance of a building should be more highly valued than its intended use.

On the one hand, the intended use of the construction is crucial for several reasons. Firstly, buildings should be constructed to meet individuals’ needs, such as providing housing solutions. For instance, apartment buildings are constructed to accommodate people seeking to purchase a residence. Additionally, considering the intended use of the construction can assist architects in planning, allowing them to add specialized facilities or adjust the design to improve its functionality in everyday life.

On the other hand, the argument in favor of prioritizing the external design is more compelling. The outward appearance of a building can significantly contribute to the overall beauty of a city. For example, Landmark 81 is considered a symbol of Ho Chi Minh City due to its unique design. This skyscraper draws a significant number of international tourists for visits and observation, making it one of the most beautiful attractions. Moreover, buildings with appealing external designs may receive higher evaluations and gain more attraction from inhabitants and customers. This aspect is particularly beneficial for investors looking to resell these properties.

In conclusion, while the intended purpose should be considered to a certain extent, there are more compelling reasons why the exterior design should be highly evaluated. It is suggested that architects pay more attention to the overall design of a building to ensure it not only meets practical needs but also enhances the aesthetic appeal of the surroundings.

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