Which is the most important cultural identifier or the feature that defines your cultural identity?

Which is the most important cultural identifier or the feature that defines your cultural identity?

In the climate of current globalization, there have been a number of countries being on the verge of losing their own identity. Therefore, cultural identifiers are of great significance in defining a nation’s distinctiveness. This has been represented by a plethora of fields such as: festivals, history, education, costumes, and so on. Among these aspects, I am into traditional food which can be considered as the most remarkable features owing to the following reasons.

First and foremost, Vietnamese cuisine is strongly attached to our time-honored history. Originally, traditional dishes have been passed down through centuries and maintained until now. The Vietnamese have regarded those foods as their specialties, shaping cultural identity and cannot be substituted by any other meals. A pertinent example of this is the "Banh chung banh giay”, one of the Vietnamese traditional dishes derived from the legend of the Hung King. Even though there have been more and more modern dishes created, Vietnamese people still eat banh chung banh day as a way to express gratitude during Tet holiday.

Besides, food plays an integral part in defining cultural identity on the grounds that it bears a relation to geographical location. Obviously, almost every country has its own specific characteristics of cuisine, which is mostly affected by climate conditions. To be more specific, food of temperate nations is apt to be hot and spicy since these flavors can create a sensation of warmth on chilly days and vice versa. In fact, due to its tropical monsoon environment and hot, humid climate, Vietnamese culinary culture is known for its use of lots of green vegetables together with the minimal level of fat with a view to creating meals that are mildly cooler. Therefore, it is such a special food-related feature which helps people differentiate Vietnam between other countries, even those located in the same climate area.

In conclusion, it seems to me that Vietnamese food stands as a vibrant and dynamic expression of the nation's cultural identity. This is because our culinary practices are deeply intertwined with history and geography. As Vietnam continues to evolve, its culinary heritage remains a vital aspect, ensuring that the unique flavors and traditions endure, continuing to define Vietnamese cultural identity.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "being on the verge of losing" -> "on the brink of losing"
    Explanation: Replacing "being on the verge of losing" with "on the brink of losing" adds a more formal tone to convey the idea that countries are at the point of losing their identity due to globalization.

  2. "I am into traditional food" -> "I am particularly interested in traditional cuisine"
    Explanation: Substituting "I am into traditional food" with "I am particularly interested in traditional cuisine" maintains a formal tone while expressing the author’s interest in a more sophisticated manner.

  3. "plethora of fields such as" -> "a variety of fields, including"
    Explanation: Replacing "plethora of fields such as" with "a variety of fields, including" improves formality and clarity in listing examples related to cultural identifiers.

  4. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: Substituting "First and foremost" with "Primarily" maintains the emphasis on the importance of Vietnamese cuisine in shaping cultural identity in a more formal manner.

  5. "into their specialties" -> "as their specialties"
    Explanation: Changing "into their specialties" to "as their specialties" improves the preposition usage, making the sentence more grammatically precise.

  6. "pertinent example" -> "a notable example"
    Explanation: Replacing "pertinent example" with "a notable example" enhances formality and emphasizes the significance of the example provided.

  7. "plays an integral part" -> "plays a crucial role"
    Explanation: Substituting "plays an integral part" with "plays a crucial role" maintains formality while conveying the essential role of food in defining cultural identity.

  8. "on the grounds that" -> "because"
    Explanation: Changing "on the grounds that" to "because" simplifies the expression without sacrificing formality, improving the sentence’s flow.

  9. "Obviously, almost every country" -> "Certainly, nearly every nation"
    Explanation: Substituting "Obviously, almost every country" with "Certainly, nearly every nation" maintains a formal tone and provides a more assertive expression.

  10. "To be more specific" -> "To be more precise"
    Explanation: Replacing "To be more specific" with "To be more precise" maintains the formality of the language and improves the transition between ideas.

  11. "flavors can create a sensation of warmth" -> "flavors can evoke a sense of warmth"
    Explanation: Changing "flavors can create a sensation of warmth" to "flavors can evoke a sense of warmth" uses more refined language without sacrificing clarity.

  12. "due to its tropical monsoon environment" -> "owing to its tropical monsoon climate"
    Explanation: Substituting "due to its tropical monsoon environment" with "owing to its tropical monsoon climate" enhances the formality and precision of the description.

  13. "known for its use of lots of green vegetables" -> "known for incorporating a variety of green vegetables"
    Explanation: Replacing "known for its use of lots of green vegetables" with "known for incorporating a variety of green vegetables" provides a more formal and descriptive expression.

  14. "ensure, continuing" -> "ensure that it continues"
    Explanation: Correcting "ensure, continuing" to "ensure that it continues" improves the grammatical structure and maintains the intended meaning.

  15. "unique flavors and traditions endure" -> "unique flavors and traditions persist"
    Explanation: Substituting "endure" with "persist" adds a nuanced and formal touch to the statement while maintaining the idea of the longevity of unique flavors and traditions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In the climate of current globalization, there have been a number of countries being on the verge of losing their own identity. Therefore, cultural identifiers are of great significance in defining a nation’s distinctiveness."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction is somewhat unclear in presenting a precise stance on the importance of cultural identifiers. While it mentions the significance of cultural identifiers, it lacks a clear position statement. To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating whether you agree or disagree with the idea that cultural identifiers are crucial in maintaining a nation’s distinctiveness. For instance, you could say, "In the era of globalization, some argue that countries are at risk of losing their identity. I firmly believe that cultural identifiers play a pivotal role in preserving a nation’s distinctiveness."
    • Improved example: "In the era of globalization, some argue that countries are at risk of losing their identity. I firmly believe that cultural identifiers play a pivotal role in preserving a nation’s distinctiveness. This essay will explore why I consider traditional food as the most remarkable feature in this context."
  2. Quoted text: "Among these aspects, I am into traditional food which can be considered as the most remarkable features owing to the following reasons."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The thesis statement is somewhat weak and lacks specificity. It would be beneficial to explicitly mention that you will discuss Vietnamese cuisine in the essay and briefly outline the reasons supporting its significance as a cultural identifier. For example, "I firmly assert that traditional Vietnamese cuisine stands out as the most remarkable cultural identifier. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the historical and geographical aspects that make our traditional food an integral part of our cultural identity."
    • Improved example: "I firmly assert that traditional Vietnamese cuisine stands out as the most remarkable cultural identifier. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the historical and geographical aspects that make our traditional food an integral part of our cultural identity."
  3. Quoted text: "Even though there have been more and more modern dishes created, Vietnamese people still eat banh chung banh day as a way to express gratitude during Tet holiday."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The development of ideas here is well-supported with a relevant example of "banh chung banh day." However, consider providing a bit more depth by explaining how this specific dish contributes to expressing gratitude during Tet holiday. Elaborating on the cultural or symbolic significance of this tradition would add more substance to your argument.
    • Improved example: "Even with the emergence of modern dishes, the enduring popularity of ‘banh chung banh day’ among the Vietnamese is a poignant expression of gratitude during the Tet holiday. This traditional dish, rooted in the legend of the Hung King, symbolizes unity and familial ties, making it an indispensable part of our cultural celebrations."

Overall, the essay addresses the task and maintains a clear position, but improvements in the introduction and thesis statement could enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases, to connect sentences and paragraphs. The introduction sets the stage for the essay by addressing the importance of cultural identifiers in a globalized world. Each paragraph follows a clear central topic, discussing the significance of traditional food in preserving cultural identity. The essay effectively uses examples, such as "Banh chung banh giay," to support its points. The conclusion ties the main ideas together, emphasizing the role of Vietnamese food as a dynamic expression of cultural identity.

How to improve:
While the essay is well-organized, there is some room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices. The writer can enhance coherence by ensuring a more seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, there could be a slight refinement in the transitions to avoid any potential under-/over-use of cohesive devices. Overall, maintaining a consistent and refined use of cohesive elements will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary, encompassing a wide range of terms related to cultural identity, history, and cuisine. There is a consistent attempt to incorporate less common lexical items, contributing to fluency and precision. The use of phrases such as "time-honored history," "plethora of fields," and "maintained until now" reflects a sophisticated control of language. The essay also skillfully integrates cultural references, such as "Banh chung banh giay," showcasing cultural awareness.

However, occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation are present. For instance, the phrase "Vietnamese people still eat banh chung banh day as a way to express gratitude during Tet holiday" could be improved for better clarity and precision. Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation, such as "Banh chung banh giay" lacking diacritics, which, although common in informal writing, could be refined for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider refining word choices and ensuring consistent accuracy in word formation. Pay attention to precise phrasing to eliminate occasional inaccuracies. Utilize a diverse range of vocabulary even more consistently throughout the essay, and be mindful of cultural references to maintain clarity and cultural sensitivity. Overall, the essay is strong, and fine-tuning these aspects will contribute to achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, utilizing a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively. There are frequent error-free sentences, and overall, the writer exhibits good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors present, such as in the sentence "In the climate of current globalization," where the use of "current" may be redundant, and the phrase "a plethora of fields such as" could be refined for conciseness.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on eliminating minor errors, refining sentence structures for clarity and conciseness, and ensuring that each sentence contributes effectively to the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, attention to word choice and redundancy can further elevate the language precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s globalized world, many nations teeter on the brink of losing their unique identity, making cultural identifiers crucial in defining a nation’s distinctiveness. These identifiers span various fields like festivals, history, education, attire, among others. Personally, I am particularly interested in traditional cuisine, which I believe stands as a noteworthy emblem of cultural identity for several reasons.

Foremost, Vietnamese cuisine is deeply rooted in our long-standing history. These traditional dishes have been cherished and passed down through centuries, shaping the Vietnamese identity. They are cherished as specialties that hold an irreplaceable position in our culture. A notable example of this is “Banh chung banh giay,” a dish steeped in the legend of the Hung King. Despite the emergence of modern dishes, Vietnamese people continue to partake in banh chung banh day, expressing gratitude during Tet holidays.

Moreover, cuisine plays a crucial role in defining cultural identity, especially in relation to geographical location. Every nation boasts unique culinary traits influenced by its climate. For instance, temperate regions tend to favor hot and spicy flavors, evoking warmth on colder days. Conversely, Vietnam’s tropical monsoon climate dictates a culinary culture known for its incorporation of a variety of green vegetables and lower fat content, resulting in mildly cooler meals. This distinct feature helps set Vietnam apart from other nations sharing similar climates.

To summarize, I firmly believe that Vietnamese cuisine serves as a vibrant expression of our cultural identity. It intertwines deeply with our history and geographical surroundings. As Vietnam progresses, preserving its culinary heritage becomes paramount, ensuring the continuation of unique flavors and traditions that define Vietnamese cultural identity.

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