While many families are keeping pets at home, some people fear that pets can harm children. What threats can pets cause to children? How to minimize those threats?

In recent years, many households tend to have pets at home but some people argue that it can cause hurt for children. Personally, I believe domestic animals pose a number of threats to children. This essay will introduce plenty of risks that cause this phenomenon and suggest remedies to tackle this problem.

There are many reasons why pets are dangerous for children. First, pets such as dogs and cats can carry parasites that can infect young children and cause serious illness. This is because most pets carry diseases, some of which can be passed on to humans. To be specific, children can come into contact with pet items such as food and water bowls and become infected. Second, animals may not be able to control their behavior, they can attack people around them without any warning. For instance, children often like to play with pets, sometimes they can have a strong impact on pets causing them to become irritated and bite or scratch children, and these injuries can become infected or worse if not treated properly. Child injuries during normal upbringing often leave serious consequences that affect the child's development.
On the other hand, there are still solutions to minimize the impact of pets on children. Firstly, families who intend to adopt pets should check the health of pets and vaccinate them. Vaccination is the simplest and most effective method of preventing infectious diseases today, it reduces the risk of dangerous diseases commonly found in dogs and cats. In case of vaccination but still infected, the disease will be much milder and have few complications. In addition, to prevent infection, people should also teach young children not to share food with them or come into contact with pet supplies. It is necessary to wash hands thoroughly after contact with animals and clean their living areas. As a result, this will reduce the chances of children suffering from skin and respiratory diseases. Secondly, parents should remind their children not to do anything rough to their pets and limit contact when they are angry. When attacked by a pet, it should be treated promptly and properly to prevent the wound from becoming infected.

In conclusion, the increasing trend of adopting pets at home can harm children because pets carry parasites that can infect young children and pets may not be able to control their behavior. To minimize the impact of pets on kids, pets should be vaccinated and hands should be washed after contact with them.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"many households tend to have pets at home" -> "many households increasingly keep pets at home"
Explanation: The phrase "tend to have" is somewhat vague and informal. "Increasingly keep" provides a clearer and more precise description of the trend, aligning better with academic style.
"it can cause hurt for children" -> "it can harm children"
Explanation: "Cause hurt" is an informal and somewhat vague expression. "Harm" is a more direct and academically appropriate term that clearly conveys the negative impact on children.
"domestic animals pose a number of threats" -> "domestic animals pose several threats"
Explanation: "A number of" is somewhat vague; "several" is more specific and suitable for academic writing, providing a clearer count.
"plenty of risks" -> "numerous risks"
Explanation: "Plenty" is informal and imprecise. "Numerous" is more formal and suitable for academic contexts.
"can carry parasites" -> "may harbor parasites"
Explanation: "Carry" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Harbor" is more specific and appropriate for discussing the presence of parasites in animals.
"can be passed on to humans" -> "can be transmitted to humans"
Explanation: "Passed on" is less formal and slightly vague. "Transmitted" is the standard term in scientific and medical contexts, enhancing the formality and precision of the statement.
"come into contact with pet items" -> "come into contact with pet-related items"
Explanation: "Pet items" is vague and informal. "Pet-related items" specifies the context more clearly and formally.
"can have a strong impact on pets" -> "can exert a significant influence on pets"
Explanation: "Have a strong impact" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Exert a significant influence" is more formal and academically appropriate.
"bite or scratch children" -> "bite or scratch children"
Explanation: This is a repetition of the same phrase. It should be revised to avoid redundancy and maintain the flow of the essay.
"Child injuries during normal upbringing often leave serious consequences" -> "Childhood injuries during normal upbringing frequently result in serious consequences"
Explanation: "Leave" is less formal and less precise than "result in." "Frequently" is more formal than "often," and "result in" is more appropriate for describing the outcome of injuries.
"families who intend to adopt pets" -> "families considering adopting pets"
Explanation: "Intend to adopt" is slightly awkward and verbose. "Considering adopting" is more concise and natural in academic writing.
"the simplest and most effective method of preventing infectious diseases" -> "the most straightforward and effective method of preventing infectious diseases"
Explanation: "Simplest" is less formal and slightly informal. "Most straightforward" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"In case of vaccination but still infected" -> "even if vaccinated"
Explanation: "In case of vaccination but still infected" is awkward and unclear. "Even if vaccinated" is clearer and more direct.
"reduce the chances of children suffering from skin and respiratory diseases" -> "reduce the likelihood of children contracting skin and respiratory diseases"
Explanation: "Suffering from" is less precise and slightly informal. "Contracting" is the correct term for diseases in a medical context, enhancing the formality and accuracy of the statement.
"not to do anything rough to their pets" -> "not to mistreat their pets"
Explanation: "Do anything rough to" is informal and vague. "Mistreat" is a precise and formal term that clearly conveys the negative treatment of pets.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies specific threats that pets can pose to children, such as the transmission of parasites and aggressive behavior. The writer also provides solutions to minimize these threats, including vaccination and hygiene practices. The discussion is relevant and comprehensive, covering the necessary aspects of the question.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics related to the risks posed by pets. Additionally, discussing a wider range of pets beyond just dogs and cats could provide a more rounded view of the issue.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that pets can pose threats to children, which is consistently supported throughout the text. The writer’s belief is stated early on and reinforced in the conclusion, ensuring that the reader understands the stance taken.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a stronger introductory statement that explicitly outlines the threats and solutions to be discussed. This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader and strengthen the overall coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented are relevant and well-supported with explanations. The writer discusses the risks associated with pets and provides practical solutions, such as vaccination and hygiene practices. However, some ideas could be further developed; for instance, the section on behavioral risks could include more detail on how to teach children to interact safely with pets.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of analysis, the writer could include more examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. Additionally, expanding on the consequences of pet-related injuries could provide a stronger rationale for the proposed solutions.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the threats pets pose to children and the ways to mitigate those threats. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, which helps maintain clarity and relevance.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the writer should avoid introducing any unrelated ideas or tangents. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt, guiding the reader through the argument without confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the main ideas. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing the development of certain points, and ensuring a clear roadmap for the reader, the essay could achieve an even higher score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs effectively separate the threats posed by pets from the solutions to mitigate these threats. However, the transition between the discussion of threats and solutions could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the dangers of pets to the solutions feels somewhat abrupt, lacking a transitional sentence that could better connect these two sections.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that summarize the previous point before introducing the next. For example, a sentence like "While these risks are significant, there are effective measures that families can take to protect their children" could serve as a bridge between the two main sections of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The first body paragraph addresses the threats posed by pets, while the second discusses solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first paragraph is longer and more detailed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the essay’s overall structure.
- How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by expanding on the solutions section. You could include more specific examples or elaborate on the importance of educating children about pet behavior. This would not only provide a more comprehensive view but also enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "on the other hand," which help to organize ideas clearly. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied expressions to enhance cohesion. For example, phrases like "in addition," "furthermore," or "consequently" could be used to create smoother transitions between points.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. This could involve using synonyms or alternative expressions for transitions, which would create a more engaging reading experience. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain coherence without repetitive phrasing.

Overall, while the essay achieves a solid score for coherence and cohesion, focusing on improving transitions, balancing paragraph lengths, and diversifying cohesive devices will enhance clarity and flow, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "parasites," "infect," "vaccinate," and "irritated" being appropriately used. However, the vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated. For instance, the phrase "can cause hurt" is somewhat simplistic and could be replaced with "can pose risks" or "can inflict harm," which would enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of repeatedly using "pets," consider using "domestic animals" or "companion animals" to avoid redundancy. Additionally, exploring terms related to health and safety, such as "transmission," "contagion," or "preventative measures," would enrich the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay uses relevant vocabulary, some phrases lack precision. For instance, the phrase "can cause hurt for children" is vague; it would be more effective to specify the types of harm, such as "can lead to physical injuries" or "can result in health complications." Additionally, the phrase "strong impact on pets" is unclear and could be misinterpreted.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using more specific terms that convey exact meanings. For example, instead of "cause hurt," the writer could use "inflict injuries" or "pose health risks." Furthermore, clarifying phrases like "strong impact on pets" by rephrasing it to "excessive rough play can provoke aggressive behavior in pets" would improve clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no major errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "it can cause hurt for children," which could be more clearly expressed, but this does not reflect a spelling error per se. The spelling of individual words is accurate throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Reading the essay aloud can help catch awkward phrasing or potential spelling mistakes. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools and familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there are clear opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and overall expression. By incorporating a wider variety of terms, using more precise language, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "This is because most pets carry diseases, some of which can be passed on to humans" effectively conveys detailed information. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the sentence "On the other hand, there are still solutions to minimize the impact of pets on children" is somewhat formulaic and could benefit from more sophisticated phrasing.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "First," "Second," and "In addition," the writer might use phrases like "Another critical factor to consider is…" or "Moreover, it is essential to recognize that…". Additionally, using passive voice in some instances could add variety, such as "Infections can be prevented through proper vaccination" instead of "Vaccination is the simplest and most effective method…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "but some people argue that it can cause hurt for children" could be more accurately expressed as "but some people argue that they can pose a threat to children." Additionally, the sentence "animals may not be able to control their behavior, they can attack people around them without any warning" is a run-on sentence and should be split into two separate sentences or connected with a conjunction. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are some comma splices that need addressing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review sentence structure to avoid run-ons and comma splices. Practicing the use of conjunctions and semicolons can help in creating clearer sentences. For example, the aforementioned run-on could be revised to "Animals may not be able to control their behavior; they can attack people around them without any warning." Furthermore, careful proofreading can help catch minor errors and ensure that each sentence conveys its intended meaning clearly.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the score could be elevated further.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, many households tend to keep pets at home, but some people argue that they can cause harm to children. Personally, I believe domestic animals pose a number of threats to children. This essay will introduce numerous risks associated with this phenomenon and suggest remedies to tackle this problem.

There are many reasons why pets can be dangerous for children. First, pets such as dogs and cats may carry parasites that can infect young children and cause serious illness. This is because most pets harbor diseases, some of which can be transmitted to humans. To be specific, children can come into contact with pet-related items such as food and water bowls and become infected. Second, animals may not be able to control their behavior; they can attack people around them without any warning. For instance, children often like to play with pets, and sometimes they can exert a significant influence on pets, causing them to become irritated and bite or scratch children. These injuries can become infected or worse if not treated properly. Childhood injuries during normal upbringing frequently result in serious consequences that affect the child’s development.

On the other hand, there are still solutions to minimize the impact of pets on children. Firstly, families who intend to adopt pets should check the health of the animals and ensure they are vaccinated. Vaccination is the most straightforward and effective method of preventing infectious diseases today, as it reduces the risk of dangerous diseases commonly found in dogs and cats. In cases where pets are vaccinated but still infected, the disease will be much milder and have fewer complications. In addition, to prevent infection, people should also teach young children not to share food with pets or come into contact with pet supplies. It is necessary to wash hands thoroughly after contact with animals and clean their living areas. As a result, this will reduce the likelihood of children contracting skin and respiratory diseases. Secondly, parents should remind their children not to mistreat their pets and to limit contact when they are angry. When attacked by a pet, injuries should be treated promptly and properly to prevent the wound from becoming infected.

In conclusion, the increasing trend of adopting pets at home can harm children because pets carry parasites that can infect young children, and pets may not be able to control their behavior. To minimize the impact of pets on kids, pets should be vaccinated, and hands should be washed after contact with them.