Write a description of how urban refuse is assorted for recycling. Use the information in the diagram and write a description of this process.

The presented diagram illustrates the recyclable of bottles, paper and durables.
Overall, there are overall steps in the recyclable of urban refuse, starting at collecting recyclables from different rubbish bins and ending at putting the used products in the right bins.
Firstly, bottles, paper and durables are collected from different rubbish bins. Next, workers use material recovery facilities to sort out recyclables into 3 types of rubbish are: Newspapers and paper towels, soft drink container and the rest of recyclables. The process continues when soft drink container are transported to the company and newspapers and paper towels are transported to paper and pulp mills to recycle into products ready to be sold for households, businesses and individual customers.
Then, the rest of recyclables are cleaned, classified and smashed. The process continues when they are delivered to the processed recyclables businesses and bought by engineering firms (buyers of aluminium) and property developers (buyers of glass or plastic). Next, the recyclables are recycled to become products ready to be used by households, businesses and individual customers. Finally, these products after using will be put in the right bins ready to be recycled again.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The presented diagram illustrates the recyclable of bottles, paper and durables." -> "The diagram illustrates the recyclability of bottles, paper, and durables."
Explanation: "The presented diagram" is redundant and informal. "The diagram" is sufficient and more formal. Additionally, "recyclable of" should be "recyclability of" to correctly use the noun form of the adjective "recyclable."
"there are overall steps in the recyclable of urban refuse" -> "there are several steps involved in the recycling of urban waste"
Explanation: "Overall" is incorrectly used in this context. "Several" is more precise and appropriate for describing the number of steps. Also, "recyclable of" should be "recycling of" to correctly use the verb form of the noun "recyclable."
"putting the used products in the right bins" -> "placing the used products in the appropriate bins"
Explanation: "Putting" is somewhat informal and vague; "placing" is more formal and precise. "Right bins" is also vague; "appropriate bins" is more specific and formal.
"workers use material recovery facilities" -> "workers utilize material recovery facilities"
Explanation: "Use" is a simpler verb; "utilize" is more formal and fits better in an academic context.
"soft drink container are transported" -> "soft drink containers are transported"
Explanation: "Container" should be plural to match the context, as multiple containers are being transported.
"the rest of recyclables" -> "the remaining recyclables"
Explanation: "The rest of" is informal and vague; "the remaining" is more precise and formal.
"cleaned, classified and smashed" -> "cleaned, sorted, and crushed"
Explanation: "Smashed" is informal and imprecise; "crushed" is more specific and appropriate for describing the processing of materials.
"delivered to the processed recyclables businesses" -> "delivered to the processing facilities for recyclables"
Explanation: "Processed recyclables businesses" is unclear and awkward; "processing facilities for recyclables" is clearer and more formal.
"bought by engineering firms (buyers of aluminium)" -> "purchased by companies specializing in aluminum"
Explanation: "Bought by" is informal; "purchased by" is more formal. Also, "aluminium" should be "aluminum" in American English or "aluminium" in British English, depending on the context.
"property developers (buyers of glass or plastic)" -> "developers of real estate (buyers of glass or plastic products"
Explanation: "Property developers" is too broad; "developers of real estate" is more specific and appropriate in this context.
"products ready to be used by households, businesses and individual customers" -> "products ready for use by households, businesses, and individual consumers"
Explanation: "Ready to be used" is redundant; "ready for use" is more concise. Also, "customers" is too broad; "consumers" is more specific and formal.
"these products after using will be put in the right bins ready to be recycled again" -> "these products after use will be placed in the appropriate bins for recycling"
Explanation: "After using" is informal and imprecise; "after use" is more formal. "Put in the right bins ready to be recycled again" is redundant; "placed in the appropriate bins for recycling" is more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the process, and the information is presented in a mechanical way. The essay also focuses on details rather than key features.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the process, highlighting the key features of each stage, and using more appropriate language. The essay should also avoid focusing on irrelevant details. For example, the essay mentions that "the rest of recyclables are cleaned, classified and smashed," but this information is not relevant to the task. The essay should focus on the overall process of recycling urban refuse, rather than on the specific details of each stage.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. The sequence of steps in the recycling process is mentioned, but the connections between them are not clearly articulated, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, with some phrases being repetitive and lacking variety. Furthermore, the paragraphing is not logical, as the ideas do not flow smoothly from one to the next, which detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on clearly linking ideas and steps in the recycling process. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic would help. Additionally, improving the logical flow of information and ensuring that each step is clearly connected to the next would strengthen the overall organization of the essay. Finally, revising the structure to ensure that paragraphs are used effectively and logically would contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the recycling process, the use of vocabulary is basic and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "the rest of recyclables" and "products ready to be sold for households." There are noticeable errors in word choice and grammatical structure, such as "the recyclable of bottles" and "soft drink container are transported," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Furthermore, there are issues with spelling and word formation, such as "durables" instead of "durable materials" and "processed recyclables businesses." Overall, the vocabulary used does not convey precise meanings effectively.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items related to recycling. They should also focus on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring proper word forms are used. Additionally, varying sentence structures and avoiding repetition would contribute to a more sophisticated expression of ideas. Engaging with synonyms and more precise terminology would help convey the information more clearly and effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms. While there are attempts to use complex sentences, they are not consistently accurate, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For example, phrases like "the recyclable of bottles, paper and durables" and "the process continues when soft drink container are transported" contain errors that can cause confusion for the reader. Additionally, punctuation is often faulty, which further detracts from clarity. Overall, while the essay conveys the general idea of the recycling process, the grammatical inaccuracies and limited variety in sentence structure hinder effective communication.

How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures by incorporating more complex sentences and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Practicing the use of subordinate clauses and varying sentence beginnings can help create a more sophisticated writing style. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes before submission would improve clarity and coherence. Engaging with more complex texts can also provide exposure to varied grammatical constructions that can be utilized in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The presented diagram illustrates the recycling process for bottles, paper, and durable materials. Overall, there are several steps involved in the recycling of urban refuse, starting with the collection of recyclables from various rubbish bins and concluding with the placement of used products in the appropriate bins.

Firstly, bottles, paper, and durable items are collected from different rubbish bins. Next, workers utilize material recovery facilities to sort the recyclables into three categories: newspapers and paper towels, soft drink containers, and other recyclables. The process continues as soft drink containers are transported to the recycling company, while newspapers and paper towels are sent to paper and pulp mills to be recycled into products ready for sale to households, businesses, and individual customers.

Then, the remaining recyclables are cleaned, classified, and crushed. This process continues as they are delivered to businesses that process recyclables and are purchased by engineering firms (buyers of aluminum) and property developers (buyers of glass or plastic). Subsequently, the recyclables are transformed into products ready for use by households, businesses, and individual customers. Finally, these products, after use, will be placed in the appropriate bins, ready to be recycled again.