Write a paragraph (150 – 200 words) about the benefits of learning English well.

Write a paragraph (150 – 200 words) about the benefits of learning English well.

Developing a good command of English has many merits as follow.First of all, mastering English is beneficial to career advancement.In detail, proficiency in english is often a prerequisite for many prestigious job positions, particularly in multinational corporations, significantly broadening career horizons.Next, achieving proficiency in English is advantageous to global connectivity.For instance, as the most widely spoken language worldwide, English facilitates communication across diverse cultures, enabling meaningful interactions and friendships.In fact,becoming fluent in English is useful to understand of different cultural perspectives and if your English is very good, you can easy move to other countryside.Finaly, excelling in English can help people in the world acecess to knowledge.To specify,learning English well will have a vast array of academic resources, research articles, and online content is primarily in English, providing learners with invaluable information and insights.To sum up,with the discussed-above positives effects of acquiring strong English skills, People should learn English for later life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Developing a good command of English has many merits as follow." -> "Acquiring a proficient command of English offers numerous benefits."
   Explanation: "Acquiring a proficient command of English" is more precise and formal than "Developing a good command of English," and "offers numerous benefits" is a more academic way of expressing "has many merits."

2. "mastering English is beneficial to career advancement" -> "mastering English is advantageous for career advancement"
   Explanation: "Advantageous" is more formal and precise than "beneficial" in this context, aligning better with academic style.

3. "proficiency in english is often a prerequisite for many prestigious job positions" -> "proficiency in English is frequently a requirement for many prestigious job positions"
   Explanation: "Requirement" is more specific and formal than "prerequisite," and "frequently" is more precise than "often" in academic writing.

4. "significantly broadening career horizons" -> "significantly expanding career horizons"
   Explanation: "Expanding" is a more precise term than "broadening" in this context, suggesting a more detailed and formal description of career advancement.

5. "achieving proficiency in English is advantageous to global connectivity" -> "achieving proficiency in English enhances global connectivity"
   Explanation: "Enhances" is a more direct and formal verb than "is advantageous to," which is somewhat vague and less direct.

6. "as the most widely spoken language worldwide" -> "as the globally most widely spoken language"
   Explanation: Adding "globally" before "most widely spoken" clarifies the scope and enhances the formality of the statement.

7. "enabling meaningful interactions and friendships" -> "facilitating meaningful interactions and fostering friendships"
   Explanation: "Facilitating" and "fostering" are more precise and formal verbs than "enabling," which is somewhat general and less specific.

8. "becoming fluent in English is useful to understand of different cultural perspectives" -> "becoming fluent in English is useful for understanding diverse cultural perspectives"
   Explanation: "For understanding" is grammatically correct and more formal than "to understand of," which is incorrect.

9. "if your English is very good, you can easy move to other countryside" -> "if your English is highly proficient, you can easily relocate to other countries"
   Explanation: "Highly proficient" is more precise than "very good," and "relocate" is more formal than "move," and "countries" is the correct plural form.

10. "Finaly" -> "Finally"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error.

11. "acecess to knowledge" -> "access to knowledge"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error.

12. "learning English well will have a vast array of academic resources" -> "learning English well provides access to a vast array of academic resources"
    Explanation: "Provides access to" is more precise and formal than "will have," which is less direct and less formal.

13. "research articles, and online content is primarily in English" -> "research articles and online content are primarily in English"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error by changing "is" to "are" to agree with the plural subjects.

14. "People should learn English for later life" -> "Individuals should acquire English skills for future endeavors"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "People," and "acquire English skills" is more precise than "learn English," and "future endeavors" is more formal than "later life."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing several benefits of learning English, such as career advancement, global connectivity, and access to knowledge. However, it lacks depth in exploring these benefits. For instance, while it mentions career advancement, it does not provide specific examples or elaborate on how English proficiency directly impacts job opportunities. The phrase "as follow" is also grammatically incorrect and should be "as follows."
  • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each benefit mentioned. For instance, discussing specific job roles that require English proficiency or citing statistics about English as a global language could enhance the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that learning English is beneficial, but it lacks a strong, clear thesis statement. The position is somewhat diluted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "the discussed-above positives effects," which can confuse the reader about the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should begin with a strong thesis statement that encapsulates the main argument. Each paragraph should then tie back to this thesis, ensuring that all points made reinforce the overall stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are relevant but not sufficiently developed. For example, the statement about global connectivity is good but could be expanded by discussing how English enables participation in international events or online communities. The support for these ideas is weak; there are no statistics, quotes, or detailed examples to substantiate the claims.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples and evidence. For instance, citing a study that shows the correlation between English proficiency and job opportunities would strengthen the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of learning English. However, there are moments where the phrasing becomes convoluted, such as "if your English is very good, you can easy move to other countryside," which detracts from the main focus and introduces ambiguity.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each sentence clearly relates to the benefits of learning English. Avoiding vague language and ensuring grammatical accuracy will help keep the essay on topic and enhance clarity.

Overall, to improve the essay, the writer should focus on expanding their ideas with specific examples, maintaining a clear position, and ensuring grammatical correctness. Additionally, meeting the word count requirement will also positively impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction to the benefits of learning English, followed by three distinct points: career advancement, global connectivity, and access to knowledge. Each point is logically sequenced, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from career advancement to global connectivity feels abrupt, lacking a linking sentence that could better connect these ideas.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "In addition to career benefits," or "Moreover," to link ideas between paragraphs. This will help create a more cohesive narrative and guide the reader through your argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into paragraphs, but the paragraphing could be improved for clarity and effectiveness. Currently, the entire essay is presented as one block of text, which makes it difficult to distinguish between different ideas. Each benefit should ideally be presented in its own paragraph to enhance readability and organization.
  • How to improve: Break the essay into three distinct paragraphs, each focusing on one of the benefits. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details. For example, the first paragraph could focus solely on career advancement, while the second could address global connectivity, and the third could discuss access to knowledge.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "First of all," "Next," and "To sum up," which help in structuring the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and could be more varied. For instance, phrases like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Conversely" could enhance the connections between ideas and improve the overall flow.
  • How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain clarity. For example, instead of "In detail," consider using "Specifically," which may provide a clearer transition into specific examples.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant points, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "proficiency," "career advancement," and "global connectivity." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the word "proficiency" appears multiple times in different contexts without synonyms or related terms to enrich the text. Additionally, phrases like "good command" and "strong English skills" could be diversified with alternatives such as "strong grasp" or "excellent command."
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "proficiency," they could use "competence," "fluency," or "mastery." Engaging with vocabulary lists or thesauruses can aid in discovering new words and phrases that can be used interchangeably.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay conveys its main ideas, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "understand of different cultural perspectives" is awkward and incorrect; it should be "understanding different cultural perspectives." Additionally, "easy move to other countryside" is unclear and should be rephrased to "easily move to other countries."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical structures and collocations. Reviewing common phrases and their correct usage can help. For instance, the phrase "facilitates communication" is effective, but ensuring that other phrases are similarly well-structured will enhance clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "english" (should be capitalized as "English"), "Finaly" (should be "Finally"), and "acecess" (should be "access"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regular writing practice, combined with feedback, will also help solidify correct spelling habits.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and ensuring correct spelling—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Developing a good command of English has many merits") and compound sentences ("Next, achieving proficiency in English is advantageous to global connectivity"). However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure. For instance, several sentences begin with a subject followed by a verb, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "to understand of different cultural perspectives," which detracts from the fluency of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences that include subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although mastering English can be challenging, it opens up numerous opportunities for career advancement"). Additionally, varying the placement of phrases and clauses can help create more dynamic sentences. Practicing using different sentence types—such as conditional sentences or using participial phrases—will also contribute to a more diverse grammatical range.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, "as follow" should be "as follows," and "in detail, proficiency in english" lacks capitalization for "English." There are also missing commas, such as after "First of all" and before "for instance," which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion. Furthermore, phrases like "you can easy move to other countryside" contain grammatical inaccuracies ("easy" should be "easily," and "countryside" should be "countries").
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and proper noun capitalization. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas and periods, will help clarify sentence structure. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also aid in identifying and correcting mistakes. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on these areas will further enhance accuracy in writing.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Developing a proficient command of English offers numerous benefits. First of all, mastering English is advantageous for career advancement. Specifically, proficiency in English is frequently a requirement for many prestigious job positions, particularly in multinational corporations, significantly expanding career horizons. Next, achieving proficiency in English enhances global connectivity. For instance, as the most widely spoken language worldwide, English facilitates communication across diverse cultures, fostering meaningful interactions and friendships. In fact, becoming fluent in English is useful for understanding various cultural perspectives, and if your English is highly proficient, you can easily relocate to other countries. Finally, excelling in English provides individuals with access to knowledge. Learning English well grants access to a vast array of academic resources, as research articles and online content are primarily in English, offering learners invaluable information and insights. To sum up, with the aforementioned benefits of acquiring strong English skills, individuals should prioritize learning English for their future endeavors.