Write a paragraph about your last vacation. You should write about 100 words.

My last vacation is Da Lat. I traveled to Da Lat 2 months ago. First my dad booked a hotel then find many good restaurants in town. My family traveled to Da Lat by Limo.I’m ver exciting and funny. The science was very beautiful. We arrived to Da Lat at 6 a.m, then we goes to the hotel and had breakfast. In the first day, we goes to Lang Dat Set and Vuon Hoa Thanh Pho. At second days we goes to Vuon Hoa Da Lat and had lunch in a 5 starts restaurant. At the end of the trip we saw many different flowers and came back to the hotel and goes home. This vacation is very interesting and relax. That is my last vacation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"ver exciting and funny" -> "very exciting and enjoyable"
Explanation: "Ver" is a misspelling of "very," and "funny" doesn’t appropriately convey the intended meaning in this context. "Enjoyable" is a more suitable alternative for describing the experience.
"The science was very beautiful" -> "The scenery was stunning"
Explanation: "Science" is incorrect in this context; "scenery" refers to the natural landscape, which is likely what the writer intended. "Stunning" is a more descriptive and formal term than "beautiful."
"goes" -> "went"
Explanation: "Goes" is the present tense, but the narrative is referring to past events, so "went" is the correct past tense form.
"Lang Dat Set" -> "Lam Dong Temple" (assuming this is the intended destination)
Explanation: "Lang Dat Set" appears to be a misspelling or mistranslation. Assuming the writer meant "Lam Dong Temple," using the correct name enhances clarity and accuracy.
"Vuon Hoa Thanh Pho" -> "City Flower Garden"
Explanation: "Vuon Hoa Thanh Pho" is likely a Vietnamese name for a place in Da Lat, but translating it to English improves clarity for readers unfamiliar with the original name.
"5 starts restaurant" -> "five-star restaurant"
Explanation: "5 starts" is a typographical error. Using "five-star" adheres to formal writing conventions.
"At second days" -> "On the second day"
Explanation: "At second days" is grammatically incorrect. "On the second day" is the correct phrase to indicate the specific day of the vacation.
"interesting and relax" -> "interesting and relaxing"
Explanation: "Relax" should be "relaxing" to maintain parallel structure with "interesting" and to accurately describe the vacation experience.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the prompt by describing the last vacation to Da Lat, including details about the travel, activities, and impressions. However, it falls short of the required word count (100 words).
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should expand on the vacation experience with more specific details about activities, places visited, feelings, and overall experiences during the trip. Additionally, reaching the required word count is crucial to fully addressing the question.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by narrating the experience of the last vacation to Da Lat. The writer expresses excitement and enjoyment during the trip, which is consistent throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the writer can structure sentences more effectively and use transition words to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Additionally, providing more vivid descriptions can strengthen the reader’s understanding and engagement.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the vacation but lacks depth and elaboration. For instance, it mentions visiting Lang Dat Set, Vuon Hoa Thanh Pho, and Vuon Hoa Da Lat without providing detailed descriptions or personal reflections.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should extend ideas by describing each place visited in more detail, sharing personal experiences or insights gained, and possibly linking the experiences to broader themes or lessons learned.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the last vacation to Da Lat. However, some sentences like "My family traveled to Da Lat by Limo" could be more relevant to the overall narrative or require further explanation.
- How to improve: To stay more focused, ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the narrative about the vacation. Avoid introducing unrelated details or abrupt transitions that can distract from the main theme.

Overall, while the essay effectively conveys the experience of the last vacation, it falls short in terms of word count and depth of description. Expanding on specific details, maintaining coherence, and ensuring relevance to the topic will significantly enhance the overall quality and fulfillment of the task.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a sequential account of the vacation activities, starting with the preparations and moving through the days of the trip. However, there are some issues with coherence as the transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, leading to a choppy flow. For instance, the sudden shift from discussing the hotel booking to the excitement of the journey lacks smooth transition.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay with clear transitions between each stage of the vacation. Start with an introduction that briefly outlines the trip, then use separate paragraphs for each day’s activities. Within paragraphs, ensure each sentence flows logically into the next, maintaining a cohesive narrative.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different aspects of the vacation, but the structure is inconsistent and lacks coherence within paragraphs. For example, the information about the first day’s activities is bundled together without clear separation.
- How to improve: Aim for a more structured approach to paragraphing. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea or activity for that day. Then, provide supporting details and examples within the paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the vacation to maintain coherence and readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices, relying primarily on chronological order to connect ideas. While some basic cohesive devices like "then" and "at the end of the trip" are used, they are repetitive and don’t contribute significantly to coherence.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow and cohesion of the essay. This could include transitional phrases like "subsequently," "meanwhile," or "in addition," as well as pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas. Be mindful of using cohesive devices appropriately to guide the reader through the narrative smoothly. Additionally, consider using more sophisticated structures such as parallelism to create a more polished and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

**Band Score for Lexical Resource**: 5
- **Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary**: 
  - **Detailed explanation**: The essay uses basic vocabulary and some repetitive language. For example, the words "vacation" and "Da Lat" are repeated multiple times without much variation. Other common words like "traveled" and "restaurant" are used without a wide variety of synonyms or more complex expressions. The language used is simple and does not demonstrate a broader vocabulary range.
  - **How to improve**: To expand the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or varying expressions to avoid repetition. For instance, "vacation" could be replaced with "holiday" or "trip." Instead of repeating "traveled," you could use "visited," "journeyed," or "went." Try to include descriptive adjectives or idiomatic expressions to add more depth to your language.

- **Use Vocabulary Precisely**: 
  - **Detailed explanation**: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary use in the essay. For example, "science" seems out of context; it's likely meant to be "scenery." Additionally, "funny" is used where "fun" would be more appropriate. The use of "find many good restaurants" could be clearer if rephrased to specify that the father researched or chose the restaurants.
  - **How to improve**: To improve vocabulary precision, consider reviewing the context of your words and checking if they accurately convey your intended meaning. A dictionary or thesaurus can be helpful in selecting the most suitable words. Re-read your writing to ensure that each term makes sense in the given context and conveys the exact message you intend.

- **Use Correct Spelling**: 
  - **Detailed explanation**: There are several spelling errors in the essay, such as "ver" instead of "very" and "starts" instead of "stars." These errors can disrupt the reader's understanding and impact the overall clarity of the essay.
  - **How to improve**: To improve spelling, try using spell-check tools to identify and correct errors. Additionally, reviewing your writing or asking someone else to proofread can help catch misspellings. Practice writing frequently and consider maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words to improve overall accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic variety of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. However, there is a lack of complex structures or sophisticated sentence formations. For instance, the essay predominantly employs simple sentences like "My last vacation is Da Lat" and "I traveled to Da Lat 2 months ago," with minimal variation in sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness of the essay, consider incorporating a broader range of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and transitional phrases to add depth and coherence to your writing. For example, instead of "My last vacation is Da Lat," you could write, "My most recent vacation took place in Da Lat, a charming city nestled in the heart of Vietnam." This not only diversifies your sentence structures but also elevates the sophistication of your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits numerous grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout its entirety. These errors impede the clarity and coherence of the writing. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("My family traveled to Da Lat by Limo"), tense consistency ("I’m ver exciting and funny"), and article usage ("The science was very beautiful"). Additionally, punctuation marks such as commas and periods are inconsistently utilized, leading to confusion and disjointedness in the text.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is crucial to review and practice fundamental grammar rules and punctuation conventions. Focus on areas such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, proper article usage, and punctuation placement. Proofreading your writing carefully before submission can also help identify and correct any errors. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to gain insights into areas of improvement. Additionally, engaging in regular reading can expose you to correct grammar usage and punctuation patterns, aiding in the development of your writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

My last vacation was in Da Lat. I traveled there two months ago. Initially, my dad booked a hotel and then found many good restaurants in town. We traveled to Da Lat by Limo. It was very exciting and enjoyable. The scenery was stunning. We arrived in Da Lat at 6 a.m, then we went to the hotel and had breakfast. On the first day, we visited Lang Dat Set and Vuon Hoa Thanh Pho. On the second day, we went to Vuon Hoa Da Lat and had lunch in a five-star restaurant. Towards the end of the trip, we saw many different flowers and returned to the hotel before heading home. This vacation was very interesting and relaxing. That was my last vacation.