Write about a kind of weather. What is it? What are its features? How does it make you feel?

Of the four types of weather, my favorite type of weather is autumn, when the air is cool and pleasant with golden and gentle sunlight filtering through the changing foliage. Autumn brings a feeling of peace, with gentle winds passing by, creating the rustling sound of fallen leaves. In addition, the activities I often do in the fall are walking in the park, when yellow leaves cover the ground, creating a brilliant and cozy picture of nature. Autumn makes me feel not only beautiful but also the ideal time to enjoy delicious food and feel the change of seasons, making me feel close to nature and life. In short, autumn, with its combination of cool air, beautiful colors of leaves and a sense of relaxation, is the most ideal time for me to enjoy peace in life

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Of the four types of weather" -> "Among the four seasons"
Explanation: The phrase "types of weather" is vague and incorrect. "Seasons" is the correct term to refer to the four distinct periods of the year characterized by specific weather patterns.
"my favorite type of weather" -> "my preferred season"
Explanation: The term "season" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "type of weather," which is too broad and informal for academic writing.
"cool and pleasant with golden and gentle sunlight" -> "cool and pleasant with golden, gentle sunlight"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "pleasant" improves the grammatical structure and flow of the sentence, enhancing readability and formality.
"falling leaves" -> "fallen leaves"
Explanation: The verb "falling" is incorrect in this context, as it describes the action of leaves falling, which has already occurred. "Fallen" is the correct form to describe the state of leaves after they have fallen.
"the activities I often do" -> "the activities I frequently engage in"
Explanation: "Frequently engage in" is more formal and precise than "often do," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"when yellow leaves cover the ground" -> "as the ground is covered with yellow leaves"
Explanation: The phrase "as the ground is covered with" is more formal and precise, improving the sentence structure and clarity.
"brilliant and cozy" -> "vibrant and cozy"
Explanation: "Vibrant" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "brilliant," which can be seen as overly emotional and less formal.
"makes me feel not only beautiful but also" -> "not only enhances my appreciation of its beauty but also"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The suggested revision clarifies the meaning and maintains a formal tone.
"feel close to nature and life" -> "experience a deeper connection with nature and life"
Explanation: "Experience a deeper connection" is more specific and academically appropriate than "feel close," which is too vague and informal.
"the most ideal time for me to enjoy peace in life" -> "the most suitable time for me to experience serenity"
Explanation: "Serenity" is a more formal and precise term than "peace," and "experience" is more appropriate than "enjoy" in this context, which is slightly informal.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying autumn as the favorite type of weather and mentioning its features, such as cool air and changing foliage. However, it lacks a comprehensive exploration of the question’s components. For instance, while it describes the beauty of autumn, it does not adequately explain how this weather affects the writer’s feelings in a detailed manner. The essay could benefit from more explicit connections between the features of autumn and the emotional responses they evoke.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the prompt is thoroughly addressed. This could involve expanding on how specific features of autumn (like temperature, color changes, and activities) directly correlate with specific feelings or experiences. Including personal anecdotes or reflections could also enrich the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear preference for autumn, but it lacks a strong, consistent position throughout. While the writer expresses enjoyment of autumn, the position could be reinforced with more explicit statements about why autumn is preferred over other types of weather. The essay feels somewhat descriptive rather than argumentative or reflective.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their preference for autumn at the beginning and reiterate it throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases to connect thoughts and reinforcing the main idea in the conclusion would help solidify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about autumn, such as its beauty and the activities associated with it. However, these ideas are not fully extended or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the mention of "delicious food" is vague and could be elaborated upon to illustrate specific experiences or memories related to autumn.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. This could involve providing specific examples or descriptions that illustrate the feelings associated with autumn. For instance, discussing a particular autumn day spent outdoors or describing a favorite autumn dish could add depth and support to the ideas presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on autumn and its features. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For instance, the phrase "making me feel close to nature and life" is somewhat vague and could be more directly tied to specific aspects of autumn.
- How to improve: To improve topic adherence, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the exploration of autumn and its impact. Avoiding vague statements and instead providing concrete examples or descriptions will help maintain focus and relevance to the topic.

Overall, while the essay touches on the prompt’s requirements, it falls short in depth and clarity. By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance their essay’s effectiveness and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas, starting with a general statement about the author’s favorite type of weather, autumn. It effectively describes the sensory features of autumn, such as the cool air and golden sunlight, before moving on to personal feelings and activities associated with the season. The transition from describing the weather to discussing personal experiences is smooth, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using a more structured approach, such as clearly defined sections for each aspect of the prompt (features, feelings, and activities). For example, a separate paragraph could be dedicated to the sensory features of autumn, followed by another focusing on personal feelings, and a final paragraph discussing activities. This would provide clearer delineation of ideas and improve the overall flow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is written as a single paragraph, which limits the clarity and impact of the ideas presented. While the content is rich, the lack of paragraph breaks makes it harder for the reader to follow the distinct points being made. Each idea, such as the description of autumn and the emotional response it elicits, would benefit from being separated into its own paragraph.
- How to improve: Implementing a clear paragraph structure is essential. Start a new paragraph for each main idea or theme. For instance, the first paragraph could focus on the description of autumn, the second on personal feelings, and the third on activities. This will not only enhance readability but also allow for a more thorough exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "in addition" and "not only… but also," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a broader variety of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion further.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of connectors and transitional phrases. For example, using phrases like "furthermore," "moreover," or "on the other hand" can help to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, employing pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can improve cohesion. For instance, instead of repeating "autumn," you could use "this season" or "it" in subsequent sentences to maintain flow while avoiding redundancy.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a band score of 9.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly with descriptive words related to autumn, such as "cool," "pleasant," "golden," "gentle," and "rustling." These words effectively convey the essence of the season and evoke imagery. However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety. For instance, the repeated use of "gentle" and "beautiful" could be expanded with synonyms or more specific terms to enhance the richness of the description.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more varied adjectives and verbs. For example, instead of using "gentle" multiple times, you could use "mild," "soft," or "calming." Additionally, using verbs like "whispering" instead of "passing by" could add depth to the imagery.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the ideal time to enjoy delicious food" is somewhat vague; specifying what type of food or the context in which it is enjoyed could enhance clarity. Furthermore, the phrase "the most ideal time" is redundant, as "ideal" already implies the best quality.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on choosing words that convey specific meanings. Instead of saying "delicious food," you could specify "seasonal dishes like pumpkin pie or apple cider." Avoid redundancy by replacing "the most ideal time" with simply "the ideal time."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "autumn," "foliage," and "relaxation" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate in this essay, it is always beneficial to practice spelling through regular writing exercises and proofreading. Consider using tools like spell checkers or apps that focus on vocabulary building and spelling practice to maintain and enhance this strength.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource, expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy will help elevate the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Autumn makes me feel not only beautiful but also the ideal time to enjoy delicious food and feel the change of seasons" showcases the writer’s ability to combine ideas effectively. Additionally, the use of participial phrases, such as "with gentle winds passing by," adds depth to the descriptions. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly with the use of "Autumn" at the beginning of multiple sentences, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, instead of starting consecutive sentences with "Autumn," the writer could use phrases like "This season" or "During this time" to introduce new ideas. Additionally, employing more relative clauses could add complexity and interest to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the ideal time to enjoy delicious food and feel the change of seasons" is grammatically correct, but the parallel structure could be improved for clarity. The punctuation is mostly accurate, though a comma could be added before "and a sense of relaxation" in the final sentence to enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay attention to parallel structure in lists or comparisons. For example, instead of "not only beautiful but also the ideal time," it could be rephrased for clarity as "not only beautiful but also an ideal time." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, would help in achieving greater clarity and flow. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence construction can also aid in refining these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

Of the four seasons, my preferred season is autumn, when the air is cool and pleasant with golden, gentle sunlight filtering through the changing foliage. Autumn brings a feeling of peace, with gentle winds passing by, creating the rustling sound of fallen leaves. In addition, the activities I frequently engage in during the fall include walking in the park, as the ground is covered with yellow leaves, creating a vibrant and cozy picture of nature. Autumn makes me feel not only a deep appreciation of its beauty but also that it is the most suitable time for me to experience serenity and enjoy delicious food while feeling the change of seasons, which helps me connect more with nature and life. In short, autumn, with its combination of cool air, beautiful colors of leaves, and a sense of relaxation, is the ideal time for me to enjoy peace in life.